cool...

You who know me, have met me or seen me know - I am anything but cool. My art and nanahood, have been graciously called cool and while I am honored, thinking that it is more of a geezer-cool than the cool of Today.

When I think of cool, I think the young, hip, Apple-Loving crowd. I think of the Arab Spring people all over the world, who have been busy changing the world.

Joseph Kony. Ever heard of him? Me either, until today. A 24 minutes movie brought a whole new coolness, into my awareness. In a nutshell, Joseph Kony has been waging a war for the last 26 years where his soldiers he has kidnapped and trained. Girls are kidnapped and used for prostitution. Uganda has been his playground and he has been runnig wild. That is no longer the case. The cool kids, the ones who know how to use social media have forced him to go into deep hiding. They are on his case. The cool kids now that if a bad guy is known, if his face and name are plastered on every wall, post and is no longer, invisible - there is no place to hide. Their effort is hard to take in, tears come to your eyes when you realize how our lives are changing, that the evil dictators of the world, have been taken out in so many countries.

Josepk Kony, you have been outted. The cool kids are after you and I am cheering them on. Cool by association, and so proud, I could just bust...

adult children...

I was so naive when my girl was a toddler. Thinking that, if I could just get thru the next couple years... there would be the reward of, making it.
Toddlers have nothing on adult children but you couldn't ever have convinced me of, that all those years ago.

The worries of toddlers, the crashing into the coffee table or escaping out the front door disappear. Those crazy fears pale in comparision to losing jobs and heart-breaking life events. While it takes many years to see this clearly, when you do - it helps put your thinking into a more, understandable state.

Those toddlers eventually go to teens and that is a whole, other world in itself. Those years where death doesn't seem possible until a group of friends are killed on a late Saturday night. That feeling of invincibility goes from improbable to possible as one moves into adulthood but for the parent, there are just more things to worry about. Add in grandchildren and you push the ante up, even more.

I am so proud of my girl. She has grown up to spend her time, raising her family. She has no problem telling the kids, doesn't matter than bobby's parent's let him watch R-rated movies, you won't be. All those things that take constant attention, the watering, feeding, running around. I thought I had it hard with one, with three, she knows what to ask and where to look.

Still, there is a part of her, that will always be my little girl. I want none or very few bumps along the way. No more worries about coffee tables or escaping. The worries are different but have the same intensity. If I could protect her, my fabulous SIL or my darling 3 - I would do it in a heartbeat but I can't. I can lift them up to the One who holds them tight, and I do. When I remember to whom they belong, I am a better mother. I have been allowed to be a part of these wonderful peoples lives, never take it for granted. The worry just comes with the job, seems like a small price to pay for such a great privilege...

in the now...

Loving these photos that are technically, less than perfect but their captures of everyday life, can't be denied.

Do I live my life, like Gage? Focused, waiting, no hurry or do I live it like Mr Flash, going 100 miles an hour with my hair on fire.

Truth be told, we all go back and forth from each camp but may find ourselves more like Mr Flash. Life never allows us to take it slow, that task is solely up to us. WE are the Captains of our ships and we decide and steer Our Boat.

The times that I identify with Mr Flash, seem totally out of control. There does not seem to be any level of control, yet in fact there is. We can always, always, choose to breathe. Stop, take a few seconds and breathe. There is no one that is not able to do this. Might take some time to exercise and create that muscle but it can be done.

Even in basketball, there is time to stop and think. Of course there are times that nothing but a slam dunk or basket at the buzzer, will do but for the many Moments inbetween, there is time to breathe and give our hair a rest...

treat...

Sometimes, you just need a treat. A reward for a task, new learned behavior or just because. Just because is the reason, we as a society are in some of the trouble we are in.

A treat is just that. A one time, little celebration of us. We make enough bad and selfish decisions that when we go beyond ourselves, that is Something definitely worth elevating to the tune of Something Special. The thing is, we have gotten too good at treating ourselves and it is costing us, big.

It starts with a little, you deserve it. Those are fighting words. As a culture, we have gotten a bit lost. What we deserve is to take better physical care of ourselves, or manage our finances so we can sleep at night - not a reward of 6 donuts or getting a Birthday car that comes with a payment book.

We deserve better.
We deserve to be honest with ourselves.
We all deserve a treat, a healthy treat. One that won't do us in...

sit...

Sit, take a load off.

It is the prefrontal of your brain that has to reconcile the artiste of your right hemisphere with the logician of your left, the tough guy of your hypothalamus with the drama queen of your anterior cingulae cortex.


Stay with me, it gets better.

All that seems like more than enough but then come the dorm rats and party animals of your midbrain, the place where your most decadent appetites - drinking, gambling, eating, smoking, shopping, sloth, sex, come to get fed.



Told you.

The battle between your noble lobes and ignoble ones isn't even close. Eating, having sex and sleeping are vital for the survival of the species, so evolution arranged for them to be irresistbly pleasureable.

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Acquisitiveness is important too, so shopping and gambling carry kicks of their own. As for smoking, drinking and taking drugs, they have no survival value but they don't need to, since they sidestep evolution and pick the chemical locks of the brain's pleausre centers directly.

Sidestep. That explains quite a bit.

This article from Time magazine, Getting to No, The science of building willpower goes on to explain much about willpower and how the brain works.
We are complicated creatures and there is So Much about us that has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with survival.

The bad news is that there is no pill, to fix this. We need to create new habits that take the place of old ones instead of just trying to go, cold turkey. I have seen cold turkey in action work, just once. Almost 40 years ago, DH stopped smoking in a weekend. He just stopped. He is also the one who can eat two cookies and stop. Would love to study his brain, because for most of us, it is not that simple. Most of us, sidestep. If it is true that we can learn to build willpower, as I look around at our world, now would be a great time to start...

idle...

Idle, a place we find ourselves from time to time. It might really be the best place to be because if you can't see behind you and ahead of you, seems out of reach, all you have is the present. Wonder why Sometimes, it is not enough?

Feeling caught between between old life and new life that is coming, maybe it is about holding on with both hands. Not sure what the future holds and at least the past, holds some familiarity. Something to hang on to. Maybe that is the point of being idle, time to lose that comfort zone.

I have been here a few times in my life. After a job loss when it was easier to look behind, rather than ahead. If memory serves, that turned out fine. Maybe you can have one hand on the future while holding on to the past and thinking about the present.

Have always heard that you are either going forward or backward, never standing still. Never idle. Whatever this state is, I don't plan on staying here long but for today, it's where I need to be. Happy Leap Day!

sweettooth...

Dear Miss Sweettooth,

You may be my longest running relatiohship. For as long as I can remember, you have been there. Day or night, holiday or everyday - you are a constant presence in my life. I can feel you as you ride in on that white horse, waving the flag.Trying to get my attention, which you always do, no matter what is going on.

I wish it could be different. I wish that what we have had a better mental health balance. More of a Give and Take, like between good friends but what we have is, you call and I pony up. All you have to do make a little bit of noise, and I want whatever you are selling.

Maybe it is better now. Last week, you came roaring in on Monday morning but settled down a bit the next few days. Wednesday, I looked up and it was lunch time, I almost missed it. When you are quiet, the world is a lovely place and I find my way around, quite easily. When you have Something going on, I only have eyes for you.

There must be some song Somewhere about quitting you but after all these years, I do not believe that is possible. We will have to learn to coexist with each other. Let's try to spend the rest of our time together, being mindful and thankful for our relationship, thankful that after 60 years, it would so cool to go out on a high note. Are you with me?

Are you kidding me? Really?

Every have one of those Moments? Your face gives you away as you may or may not be desperate, to rein your emotion in.

Sometimes, it comes out as vocally, in the form of sarcasm. Again, making a stab at trying to hide what is really going on inside. We humans are good at many things but hiding our rawest of emotions, when we just can't believe what you just did/said/agreed with/noticed/love/vocalized isn't one of them. At that very Moment, the look on our face, says it all. It is primal and real. It is who we really are. Time to fess up to ourselves and deal with what is.

If your nana is around and has no idea of what she has on her memory chip, she will document this for you so you too, can learn what it is to be human. That is the least she can do and she does it, most happily...

just say no...

I came into this world, without the ability to say no. Always a people pleaser, always thinking this time, it would be different. It took many years of trial and error to learn, that saying no is doable, and many times, the only thing to do.

For some of us, it takew a long time to understand that our doing is not who we are. When it looks like we are giving, it really comes from a Place of fear and abandonment.

We give for all the wrong reasons.
We give because we are scared.
We give to feel better about ourselves.

Learning to say no is a process. There can be Costs that we hurt, to pay. Some people will be mad and will walk away from you because you won't do what they want you to. In the end, it is worth it all. Learning to say no is the best gift you can give both to them and yourself. Expect the pain and know that the right thing, doesn't always feel good. It's just the way it is...

I've got your back...

Today was the televised funeral of Steve Appleton. For those of you Far Away, he was the CEO of Micron Technology. A wild and crazy guy, from all accounts. In fact, he was killed several weeks ago on a beautiful Friday morning in an experimental aircraft.

A pilot, race car driver, tennis player Extraordinaire - there seemed to be no end to his adventurous spirit. With a wife and four kids, even if he was given more than his share of 24 hours in a day, there was seemingly no way he could do it all, yet is would appear he was many things to many people.

One reoccuring theme seem to indicate that whoever you were, you felt like he had your back. When someone says, he has your back - there is a crystal clear indication of support and a special kind of love. When you have someone's back, there isn't much you would not do. For some, there is nothing that you wouldn't do.

There are many things that can be said at a funeral about someone. What do you want people to say about you. Whether you are an adventurer or the shy type, imagine that knowing that people thought you had their back, has to be up there. Way up there...

There are many things I wish I was better at. Many, many things.

tribe...

A society larger than a band but smaller than a state.

There are other definitions but this one speaks to me. When I think of tribes, Indians come to mind. That what too much TV will do to you. I think of teepees and always moving bands of people who share the same DNA. Life has taught me that DBA isn't everything it is cracked up to be. My tribe history contains more non-blood than blood relatives.

When I think of my tribe, I smile. Big. These are the people who have grabbed my heart and run off with it. Some of my tribe is local, I can be there in a few minutes. Some are far away. If I could get them all under one tee pee, it would be a Gathering Of Mega Proportions. Thinking we would all sit in a circle so we could see each other. Tables with name tags would be so 200 years ago.

Isn't that what social media is doing these days? Twitter more so than Facebook. Let's face it, when you have to agree to LIKE someone, it is not always because you think they are tribe material. With Twitter's, Follow, it has more of a tribal feel and yes, I prefer Twitter to Facebook.

Imagine that after my tribe is all settled in, comfy and cozy, there would be a few announcements and then the general invitation would be given. Let's do this thing and me and my homies would love, happily forever after...

percentages...

Spent part of the day, searching for affordable medical insurance as DH and I will lose ours at retirement. 45 years of having insurance, this just feels strange. What is even stranger is that I found the best deals today during my 6 month search and they are still, out of reach. Had been looking at plans with a $10,000 deductable that would cost over 100% of our combined pensions. Today I found 5 plans that only would cost between 42% - 47%. Still not doable.

While not a Numbers Girl, I love the basic premise of percentages. When I read the commments at Amazon before buying a book, camera or anything - what I am really looking at is how strong something is like or disliked by a group of people whose only involvement is wanting a great product. At the App store, the comments drive whether I buy an app, or not, period.

There are times where the numbers, just don't jive. Was having trouble reading a book club selection. The first chapter put me off but I plugged away for 2 more. There was no going forward. I looked up the comments of Amazon and 99% of those people seemed to be reading a different book. Glowing reports of wonderfulness that was completely and utterly, lost on me.

While no one can say for sure, I am 100% sure that percentages are a big part of our lives, maybe even huge....

you...

We may be very aware of who we are, every once in a while.

Spent the day at the Apple Genius Bar with Miss Kailee. Have got to say I have not been this impressed with one of the female gender in quite a while. Should say we were at the same Genisu Bar yesterday with our iPad issue and a nice young man helped us but didn't understand the problem and I spent many hours that night trying to make his fix work.

Miss K listened to me for a few seconds, understood the problem completely. She ran us through some options and quickly explained how we had done all we could do, now Apple support would have to take it from there. She went one step further and emailed Apple support, explaining the problem and the fix. It will take 24 hours for Apple to get back and me and there may some issue with Apple having to delete and consolidating accounts to bring our beloved iPad back.

She was a perfect example of her Millennial generation. Bubbly, totally engaged on her iPhone but listening to me and answering all our questions without missing a beat. I will confess that my experience with tech support has been heavily influenced by male techs but this girl has changed my perspective forever. It was a pleaaure meeting her today.

Thanks Miss S! You so totally rock. Hope you go far at Apple, it would only be their lost if you don't...

nothing...

So at the end of the day, there are two camps of thinking.

In the beginning, God or,
In the beginning, nothing.

Like it or not, we each decide, what we believe. Either all this was created or a much tougher explanation to make, how Something came out of nothing.

Being raised in the Nothing Camp, questions were few. Nothing was never explained and quite frankly, I don't remember ever caring or asking. The questions of who made horses and mountains, never occured to me. Just trying to make it through any given day was all the questioning I could ever handle.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Watching Whitney Houston's funeral yesterday, came with a high from deep inside. Blown away by testimonies from Tyler Perry and Kevin Costner, my faith and heart were encouraged and running hot. Tyler Perry talked about Romans and how nothing, absolutely nothing can seperate us from the love of God. Not even 20 years of drug use or a lifetime of drunkness oreven living in the Nothing camp.Nothing

You can't make Something out of nothing.

If we can agree that it is logical that no one can make Something out of nothing and that nothing can seperate us from the Love of God, it would seem safe to say that nothing means nothing, no matter who you are, what you have done. It is Nothing, at it's best. Know it, and live it...

in law...

With the announcement this week of a dear friend girl's wedding later this year, here are few things I wish Someone had told me when my girl got married. Admittedly, I have never had a son but having a father, husband, son in law and grandson, thinking I have a pretty fair handle as it relates to being a in law.

You will always, be the mother, Always. The thing is that role becomes secondary when your child chooses a mate. The responsiblilty for making that shift, for the new Season of life for everyone, lies with you.

You are no longer, nor should you be, the stronghold of their lives.
You no longer have the Final Say.
You do not come first, any more.
Your words may or may not be taking into consideration.
You are not a silent partner, you have an active role to play.

And most importantly, if your child doesn't understand this shift, it is up to you to whoe them the way. It is our job to send them in the direction of a healthly relationship. It is no longer about what you as a parent thinks, it is know time to be a support and that may mean getting tough when said child wants to run back to the comfort of home.

Think it is tough now, wait until babies come. That brings a whole new set of responsiblities. When to speak, when to shut up. Make no mistake, your heart strings will be pulled like never before but this isn't a Season of just sitting back. You need to understand your part and help make the new couple's chances of not being in the over 50% failure rate. Extended family can make or break a couple. Time to grow up. You have the power, make sure to use it wisely, even if it hurts like crazy...

pay attention...

We all spend a fair amount of time on AutoPilot when it comes to life. That highway hypnosis thing when you are going down the road and suddenly realize that you weren't paying attention and there are a few miles you don't remember going down.

It seems that the AutoPilot feature in the human spirit covers many different aspects of life. We grab the laundry, throw it in the washing machine and off we go. We make spaghetti the same way every time. Paying attention is a one way street,and the distrations of life are many.

The things is we can't learn if we aren't listening and in life, we are either talking or listening. One or the other. Either trying to make a point ortrying to learn Something new. There is a time for each of them and if we get them mixed up, there will be consequences that may bring unwanted pain in to our lives.

Trying to become more aware of when I need to and shut up and listen more. It does not come easy for me. The older I get, the more I want to be a student. The more I understand that while my years of experience have been invaluable to me, there is more to learn and that the combination of what I know and what I can learn will make me a better person. Living in either camp is not the desired place to be. There has to be More, I just know it...

Happy Valentime's Day...

Maybe Hallmark has a heavy hand and interest in this day. So does Dove, Godiva, Hershey's and Victoria's Secret.

Always feel bad on Valentine's Day for those who would love to have someone intheir lives to bring them a bunch of flowers or a box of candy. It is tough to feel like a third wheel but it is also a day to turn it around and own it.

Just like those who are left out of Mother/Father's Day, Sometimes you have to make your own magic. Think outside the box and find somebody to love. True, you may have to look a bit further than some of us. I know how lucky I am. I am thankful for these little people, their parents and the man who made this all possible. They are the best of me and even if we have to celebrate a few days earlier because school, basketball practice and real Life gets in the way, it is a wonderful thing.

This year, if you find yourself a bit more blue than red, find something, someone to celebrate the act of love.Follow the path you have not allowed yourself to go down and feel a part of Cupid's Day of arrow slinging. Join in the fun instead of just waiting for 24 hours to pass. Happy Valentine's Day...

stunned...

Aretha Franklin was stunned at the news of her goddaughter, Whitney Houston's death. MSNBC

Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston. Is stunned really the word we want to use? Over the last few days, one keeps hearing that word when referring to someone to whom risky behavior was the norm. This is not about the morality but the consequences of deciding to use drugs/alcohol. This is about the dangers that we are all aware of, so to say you are stunned at an almost by the book ending, seems a bit odd to me.

We all know people in our lives that are grossly obese because they have treated food just like the drug addict, treats their addiction and can honestly say I have never heard anyone say they were stunned by the death of someone who weighs 500 pounds.

We are not stunned when we not blindsided. When we have watched addiction of choice lived out in front of us. With us, when we have discussed and worried and discussed again and again. Stunned, not possible.

Stunned.
To shock or suprise.

Stunned is being there to see a sunset, or experiencing an unexpected gift of love. It is Something magical, and comes completely by surprise. It you are part of people's lives, you are part of their choices and you will never be stunned, by the reality of consequences. Theirs or yours...

trust...

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.Pinterest.

We don't like to talk about it but Somethings, have to be asked.

I knew the Big Answer was rock and roll but was a bit fuzzy with the details. As we headed to basketball, I asked him, straightout.

What song do you want played at your funeral?

He looked at me and immediately said, Jesus is Just Alright With Me.

Wouldn't have gone so really, glad I asked. The truth is whether you are talking organ donation or funeral tunes, you are at the mercy of your loved ones. Like it or not, your wishes, legal and otherwise, end with your last breath. In the midst of death, people seem to lose their way and what we want isn't always, what we get.

This is a good choice. While he would really prefer, Stevie Ray Vaughn's, If The House is Rocking, Don't Bother Knocking, might seem a poor choice to those at said funeral. Don't worry Darlin, Stevie will be there Somewhere...

women and Spring...

This many women, together
can only mean one thing.
It is time to plan the spring
banquet of their focus.
Whether it be a Ladies Brunch
at a church, club or rented hall,
the ritual is always the same.
Make no mistake, this is serious business,
not taken lightly nor a place to try something new.
While waiting for my friend,
it was impossible not to hear their plans,
of table decorations Now and Then.
Of times, that brought them,
much joy and success.
Women have been planning events, forever.
They know what works and aren’t afraid to do it.
Not the time nor place to try new things,
this is where the tried and true is made to shine.
I have been where they are, I know the process.
I didn’t fare too much in this arena, always wanting to go,
where no woman had before.
Still I have great respect for those who can talk about menus,
decorations and chairs like it was brain surgery.
Something, I never could master.
You Go Girls...

buffet...

Life really is like a buffet. Every morning, we are staring at multiple choices that are not only pulling us in different directions but constantly trying to lure us, to take another plate even when we have had enough.

There are many, many good choices we could make. Many great things and some not so great things screaming, to get our time. Depending on your absolutes - work, school, we each have to decide what to put on our plate. It was are reported last week that the average worker spends $1000 a year on coffee. Starbucks has found a way to not only to get us to spend our money but, to consistantly do so, every day.

My days now, certainly don't resemble the days spent as a young mother, wife and employee. The one that yelled the loudest, won. Sick kid trumps work, project trumps going home early. These days, the load is lighter and my priorities have changed. When we took Keaton to a Sunday buffet, a few weeks ago, I thought he might go crazy. He has his nana's sweet tooth which when presented with an unlimited menu, takes away any good sense we possess, at any given time but a funny thing happened. He didn't go crazy. He was full after just going back, a second time and his choices were balanced with no words from me.

Sometimes, having too many choices is overwhelming and we wish there were less. That is never going to happen, our days fill every day with more and more. The trick is for us, to do our part, and see through the bowls and plates and dessert, taco, pototo, salad bars of life and just take enough to fill us up. Not going crazy, is always a good thing...

not winning...

Nothing is more interesting, riveting or enlightening than the tles from the loser's locker room. Mike Barnicle.

Of course, he was referring to the New England Patriots locker room yesterday after their almost not a loss to New York. A clip showed a stunned Tom Brady unable to collect his thoughts while trying to say positive things about his teammates who had so called, had drop the ball a few times yesterday that could have changed the whole game.

Thinking anywhere there are 2 teams and a competition, there is always a winner and loser. We all take turns in each camp. No one ever wins all the time and I believe, can't lose all the time - no matter what their thought process tells them. The true character of a person may very well be played in the locker room and not the field. Whether in public arenas like sports and politics, how to lose graciously should be taught right next to, what comes oh so naturally, how to lose.

In Real Life, it is critical to learn after all the cards have been played and you are not moving on, how to lose. Whether work, church, friends and especially family, when things don't go your way - walk into the locker room of life, have a cry if you need to and then, hold up your head, heart and words up and move on. Character over winning, every time...

shape...

Always on the look out for the perfect purse. Have a history of being eluded, many promising much and delivering, very little. A purse is like a pet, nothing you ever, ever give at birthdays or Christmas.

The perfect purse has to be felt and hung on shoulder or crossover tested. The contents of any given woman's belongings has to fit in said purse. Whether she needs outside pockets, side pockets (a new must for carrying Diet Coke) and the inside space hat to fit perfectly. The size of present and in the future wallets has to be taken into consideration. Now, I have to have one that not only fits my big wallet and camera but iPad.

Had been looking for a couple of months with no success. Either too little or too big, not enough or the right pockets, the search went on and then there she was...at JCPenneys. I wasn't sure so held on tightly to my receipt but to my great pleasure, when I got it home - everything fit. What I didn't understand is that I should have just taken my favorite coffee cup, purse shopping with me.

Last fall, I hit a great sale at Pier One when I found my favorite coffee cup. I always knew that I loved the big cups but didn't realize how the shape effected me. Large at the top and tapered at the bottom. The perfect shape of coffee cup was also the perfect shape for a purse. Does shape make a difference in our lives, should we be paying more attention? Now I am wondering, what else in my life would be made most excellent because of its shape?

Help!!!!!!!!!!!

Help!!!Am Sorry to bother you with this mail, but I'm out of the country in Cyprus and found myself in a situation which i really need to take care of now. I need a loan of $3500 but will appreciate any amount you can help me with, Would have called but i lost mobile phone to the incident , I'll explain the situation better and refund the money back to you immediately i get back home. Kindly get back to me as soon as you get this email to let me know if you can help me with this. Kindly keep this between us.I hope to hear from you in no distant time. I am sincerely sorry if you feel bothered or embarrassed by this message.
Thanks.

Rebecca


Found this in my email, first thing Friday morning and honestly, it gave me the biggest belly laugh I have had in a long time.

Yes I do have a friend, Rebecca.
If you knew Rebecca, being out of the country would be an oxymoron.
Cyprus too.

Even if you could buy that Rebecca went out of the country to Cyprus, you would be hard pressed to believe that my friend lost her cell phone. She loses nothing. She is the straightiest arrow I know. You can set your life watch by Rebecca. She sets her heart by what she believes, her faith is unshakable and didn I mention, she would never go to Cyprus. Suppose all that was out the window, and she lost her cell phone and needed $3500, she wouldn't care about me being bothered or embarrased, If she needs help, she will ask.

I hope to hear from you in no distant time. This is my favorite line. When I hear of people getting emails and phone calls, usually from family members, it makes me sad that they aren't close to their families or not smart enough to ask questions before sending off money.

Love you, Miss R! Since we were text talking the other night, I know exactly where you are and what you are doing. Come on Baby, Light my Fire, Amazon Fire-that is...

the Jesus recipe...

Becoming a Christian might look more like falling in love than baking cookies. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that in order for a person to know Jesus they must get a kind of crush on Him. But what I am suggesting is that, not unlike any other relationship, a person might need to understand that Jesus is alive, that He exists, that He is God, that He is in authority, that we need to submit to Him, that He has the power to save, and so on and so on, all of which are ideas, but ideas entangled in a kind of relational dynamic. This seems more logical to me because if God made us, wants to know us, then this would require a more mysterious interaction than what would be required by following a kind of recipe.Donald Miller.

Falling asleep. Heard a Story about someone's friend who before coming to Jesus, described going to sleep at nighte as a big, black hole thing. The implication was after coming to Jesus, it went away. I have a slight problem with those kind of Stories, they may happen that way but it smacks of a fear factor to me. Some of us didn't have that experience. For some of us, being a non-believer was much easier than being a believer. Better, no but no horror Story surrounds it. My experience, being raised an athesist, was far from that. I never thought I was missing Something. Never felt God. Never lost one night's sleep because of the darkness of the night., never.

Does that mean He wasn't there? Absolutely not but if we are going on feelings and black holse, we have to be honest. Is it easier to be a believer? No. Do the fears, go away? No. Is it worth saying all those prayers, reading all those parables, trying daily to love your fellow man? ABSOLUTELY. I wouldn't trade it for the world but I have got to be honest, one can be completely and utterly comfortable, until Jesus comes knocking at your door. Until He knocks so loud, you hear him. Then, you have to make a decision. Then the ball, is in your court...

introvert...

shy
1.Easily frightened.
2.Reserved; coy; disinclined to familiar approach.
3.Cautious; wary; suspicious.
4.Embarrassed.

introvert
1.Possessing the characteristic property of an introvert. Preferring the internal, satisfied with self, lacking interest or comfort in social interactions.


anti social
1.Unwilling or unable to associate normally with other people
2.antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing
3.Opposed to social order or the principles of society; hostile toward society.

I have taken all the tests, (like I needed to) and the results are always the same. Am more comfortable with a few people than at a party. Need lots of quiet time. All true. Do not fit the doesn't like confrontation ideal but we are all a little bit of everything. This article from Bryan Walsh in Time magazine, felt like I was home.

I'm in the bathroom of the American Embassy in Tokyo and I can't leave. Somewhere in the elegnant rooms beyond, the ambassador is holding his annual holiday party. Diplomats from around the world, U.S. military personnel and reporters are mingling, sipping Champagne and picking at hors d'oeuvres. As the Time's Toyko bureau chief,I should be there, trolling for gossip or mining potential sources.

And for 20 minutes or so after arriving, despite the usual nerves, I did just that.But small talk with stiff-backed strangers,...Send me to a famine or a flood and I'm comfortable A few rounds of the room at a scoial event, however, leave me exhausted. So now and then, I retreat into the solitude of the bathroom, watching the minutes tick by until I've recovered enough to go back out there...


DH thinks I trend toward anti-social and I think we all do, from time to time. Not related to introverts and excluded from the extrovert side. We all go through times when we would love to line up our fellow man and slap the youknowwhat out of them. Mr Walsh goes on to talk about it is an extrovert world, tough at times for an introvert to navigate. The quiet kid is strongly encouraged to, Get Involved. There is nothing wrong with stretching outside your comfort zone all the while, acknowledging that these personalities are part of our DNA.

Be true to who you are ,but spread your wings a bit. Learn to recognize and be comfortable with who you are but never, ever stop being a student. The more we learn the better our lives...

la nina...

Here we are, the last day of January. Tradionally here in the Northwest, a time of doom and gloom. Inversions are our thing and we can go more than a month, without seeing the sun. That has not been the case this year.

La Niña, the weather phenomenon widely blamed for withering drought in the southwestern United States and South America, will last into the Northern Hemisphere spring of 2012, the U.S. Climate Prediction Center said on Thursday.

"The latest observations ... suggest that La Niña will be of weak-to-moderate strength this winter, and will continue thereafter as a weak event until it likely dissipates sometime between March and May," the CPC said in its monthly update.MSNBC

Every year, people from all weather climate opinions and prefrences, someone is going to be disappointed and downright over inconvenienced. This year, it is the snow people. Just last week the local ski resort got enough snow in less than 24 hours to open and try to recoup some of their 2 million dollars loss this season. Will they be able to go until April is unknown but by the looks of the sun who has been out everyday since that snow, I am guessing not.

It not affects skiers but sellers of All Things Snow. Tires, clothes, sports equipment - everyone suffers but that is what happens when you put all your Making A Living egg in one basket. I am sorry, hope you put back a few bucks when business was booming last year but I make no apologizes for my love for la nina, the wonderful sun and a big lack of the white stuff. I could not be happier. Not one little bit...

hold em tight...

About halfway through class this morning, someone came running in and asked for my eye doc friend. It appeared that someone had a heart attack in the during the church service and they needed help. The other two docs we have were not in this service and a nurse who was in the nursery, didn't know what was going on.

Today was our 17th spaghetti dinner. Sixteen years since 13 of us started this little church. Still going strong, in fact, apparently we have outgrown the new building and the neighbors are leaving notes, that cars are parked everything. From a church's standpoint, a good problem to have but practically, a nuisance in the present. Before lunch, PJ went up to the hospital see how B was doing. His color was good and he was orney as ever which is always a very, good sign. He is an older man and not his first medical rodeo. The day could have easily ended, very differently. The dinner went on with good company and great conversation. A good day, indeed.

As those in the santuary waited for the ambulance, the unknown was lurking pretty close. Lots of different thought going through minds and hearts. Dr T held it together, continued with his lesson while I had a hard time concentrating on what he was saying. I prayed for the one down and those attending him. As the paramedics attended to B, the pastor prayed for them. Nothing like an emergency to put us straight. We shouldn't need this lesson but it seems you do. We have short term memories and forget everyone doesn't get to live to 100. Imagining that everyone in that service, held their families a bit closer tonight. it's just the way it is...

YouTube...

For every minute that passes in real time, 60 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube...

That is 5 months of video every hour.
That is 10 years of video every day.

More video is uploaded to youTube every month than has been broadcast by the big TV networks in the past 60 years.

And the pace is accelerating, last year the rate was only 48 hours per minute.Time.

It is a mind blowing Story on the details of how YouTube works.

Which is why, while you and I blow off work to watch a monkey ride backwards on a pig, a small army is fighting a ceaseless battle, Sysyphean war to keep YouTube from collapsing under its own weight.

Director of User Experience, is how Margeret Gould Stewart's business card reads. Her job, is to create a container that will fit all of YouTube's vast diverse content. In other words, she is always redesigning how the background of YouTube appears. The background color which was white, is now gray because gray brings out the color in photos. Who'd a thought?

Parts of our world are literally, going at speeds we will never be able to comprehend. It makes me dizzy. It also makes me happy. Anything is possible, anything...

hearing...

In a class last week and heard a few Somethings that set me off and it has taken a few days to dissolve the anger.

We all have buzz words that catch our attention, good and bad. The good ones just repurpose what we always know and love. One walks away, feeling all is right with the world, that we aren't crazy and that the sun might just come out tomorrow. The bad ones, bring a whole different set of feelings.

Walked away from class, with a chip on my shoulder and ready to set the speaker straight. After a few days and lots and lots of thinking, it occured to me that any constructive criticism or debate, was not worth the fight. Sometimes, I am not so great at picking my battles. There are some things that we have to hear and learn to dismiss and Someday, ignore.

Combine those triggers with your own personal history, it may be you. What someone means and what they say, can be two completely different things. Our emotions and interpretations are just that, they are ours and ours alone. I bounced off my thoughts to DH and he brought some clarity to my thinking, which just proved my point.

We are all only a boatload away from a heap of trouble when we try to save the world. Poppa, Keaton and I had a great discussion a few weeks ago about superheros. Who they are, what each of the powers are - a fascinating conversation. We talked about what superpower we would each most like to have. I choose invisiblility. To be a fly on the wall, it is the introvert in me that would make this, fabulous. If you would ask me the same questions this week, it would be that those bad triggers would run off me, like wet on a duck. Now that, would be pretty darn super...

social security...

The appointment was for 2PM today. A fact finding mission because DH has been listening to co-workers and had a heap of bad information. Before the appointment even began, I got in trouble. The nice,security guard - ok, if you need a security guard at the SS office, what has happened before? So, no food or drink allowed so I can keep my bottle of Diet Coke but I can open it. Gotcha. Then I pull out my camera, and she comes running over to tell me not only can I not document this momentous occasion, I have to delete the photos I took inside. Outside is ok, inside is not. Tried to be on my best behavior for the rest of the time before the appointment.

Wasn't even sure we had an appointment. While I repeatedly trying to confirm the location and by location I meant city and state of the appointment, the last thing the SS agent asked was, What state are you calling from? Since I would find out today that the phone number for the local office was incorrect so there was no way short of showing up early to confirm, yeah or nea. I warned DH that this might be the case and not to leave work before I called him, full expecting I would have to take him out for ice cream if there was no appointment but we got lucky.

Limited to a 1/2 hours, we asked our questions quickly, took notes and are formulating a plan. It means some shifting of money and kind of a shock that because of DH BDay, his check will hit our bank account, the 2nd Wednesday of the month. Will have to realign but certainly is better than the horror Stories he has been bringing home for the last few months.

As I sat in the chair watching this whole new season of life, it hit me - We are not in Kansas anymore. I didn't see this coming. It was almost a Place of looking inside, through the window while standing outside. Like it was happening to someone else. A reality check that said, some never live long enough to be in this season of life. You are one of the lucky ones.

I walked away, feeling like I had just come back from visiting a different planet. As one realizes that we are all hurling toward death, no matter what your age - it is a humbling experience but deciding that is is not how much time you are here, but what you do with that time. Cherish each day, what a gift...

favorite...

If I could get us all together, I would have a party! Not a lotion or cooking party but a my favorite things party. DD and I did this a few years ago and am itching to do it again. So, in the Here and Now, let's do this thing. A list of 3 physical things and three internet things. This is what mine looks like...

Image 3D - Remember those old 3D Viewmaster toys? With the endless reels of every conceivable character ever invented? Now you and yours can blow those characters out of the water. Upload 7 photos of your own choosing and they will send you personal reels of babies, birthdays, holidays or anything else you can think up. Got the first set for the fam at Christmas and they loved it. Plan on adding Miss M's birthday, next. Image3D.com

W.E.L.D.E.R.(iTunes) - my favorite app. Not usually a word game fan, this one has captured my heart and time. With 61,594 words in its vault, the words you think it would know, don't always make the cut and leaves you wondering, why. It is a great example of life in that you have to live in the Moment. There is very little time to set up potential words because every time you score a four letter word, some that you didn't even know exist, the tiles fall and your future plan is foiled. Love.

Sarah Vowell - my favorite author. She found a way to make me want, to learn about history. Her books are filled with humor, an obvious love of history and you will walk away, amazed. I have read most all of her books, time to have another SV treat coming my way.


As for my internet picks, this is where my head is today.

Momentjunkie.com - Don't care who you are, how old you are, or what Season of life you are in. Women always can relate to a wedding and this site will bring a rush of emotions. To capture an emotion is a second is a wonderful thing when you are the wedding photographer. It is a high not unlike one that comes with a package of Hostess Cupcakes but with no calories. It is a great place to treat yourself and share in the Love.

Tastykitchen.com - which is Pioneer's Woman site is the best recipe site I have found. Recipes are added daily, there is Something for everyone. I check it everyday and have a mountain of recipes. The newest recipes are always on top, a great site with fabulous ideas for your palate.

Positivelypresent.com There are very few of us to whom, being positive comes naturally and for those who do - it is a God-given gift. A beautiful place to refresh and renew and remind yourself, that you are worth it.

Wish we were doing this over delicious snacks with lots of laughter. Would be taking notes of your lists and loving learning more about you from your choices. While constantly changing and learning and growing, sharing our journeys though favorite things is jsut another way, we connect...

trending 2...

While on the subject of trending, here are a couple of things trending on my radar at the present Moment...

Kickstarter... If you haven't heard of it, you may be interested if you are the creative type and just need some funding for your big idea. To raise capital to get your idea out and about, Kickstarter lets anyone become involved by donating to the cause. There are perks at every level of involvement. Great idea - kickstarter.com

Freemium... Make money by giving apps away and then, charging for add ons. This idea has taken the App Store by storm. Give the people what they want, and they will buy more. Works best at the app store, in Real Life, not so much but is a fascinating study in who we are and how we think.

Lastly, I love. love to ask questions. Of family, friends - I am always asking questions to know them better, to collect what we think and see how universal we really are. Thoughtquestions.com goes a step further, adding a photo for inspiration. Somedays, life is about asking the what if questions. A little bit of dreaming and learning more about ourselves, it never a bad thing and who knows? There may be some great answers you never saw coming that could change your life...

trending...

Saturday night was pretty quiet. Not much going on, checked on Twitter to see how the Crazy South Carolina Party was going and up popped a tweet about the death of Joe Paterno, the disgraced football coach from Penn State. Reported first by the college newspaper,Onward State and later by CBS News, Breaking News and the Huffington Post.

A few minutes later, the tweets were retracted. The editor-in-chief of Onward State apologized and resign his position after both sons tweeted that while gravely ill, their father had not passed away.

One thing you can say for technology, as fast as news comes - when it is wrong, the corrections come fast. Faster than we could ever have imagined. At least once a week, there is a tweet proclaiming the death of a celebrity or statesman that has 20 more tweets responding that it isn't so.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

Mark Twain quotation after hearing that his obituary had been published in the New York Journal.

Mistaken publications of obituaries aren't as rare as you might expect. A recent example is of Dave Swarbrick, the British folk/rock violinist, who was killed off mistakenly by the Daily Telegraph in April 1999 when they reported that his visit to hospital in Coventry had resulted in his death. He did at least get the opportunity to read a rather favourable account of his life, not something we all get to do, and to deliver the gag "It's not the first time I have died in Coventry".

Nothing new under the sun, it's just that the sun is going a whole lot faster now...

accept...

The Occupy Boise camp was voted off the government island yesterday. The same day that winter officially started. The first snow of the season officially came yesterday and its cousin, rain, is here for a while.

On Tuesday, the SnowIsComing stories were everywhere. As I sat in my kitchen, soaking up the last of the sun, I couldn't help but smile. We have had a good run. Having sun in November, December and Janaury is unheard of here, yet it was. It was warm, sometimes even hot. Those of us who need more sun that others, were well aware of the miracle that followed us into the months of Dark. We took nothing for granted and knew that soon, the dreaded white stuff would be on its way.

It hasn't been to uncomfortable for the occupers either, until yesterday. Those with cardboard houses must be living in a mess. Maybe others will share their plastic huts with them or they will go home, leaving the cause behind. I am with the government on this one, camping in a non-camping zone is not a God-giving right. Time to find their own land, and make their own rules.

It has been quite a week. Ready to pull up my big girl panties and accept winter on its own terms. Just as you and I like to be accepted for what and who we are...

laid or paid...

What is the most brutal reality of life? It’s this: It’s not about us. It’s not about you, and it’s not about me. If we don’t get laid or paid, it goes on in all it’s brutal beauty. It goes on to water and feed itself, the sweetness of it goes on as a mother nurses her child, as a father swims with his son off the rock-shore of an inlet. It goes on with or without us. How much of our beliefs, the Biblical and un-biblical that we cling to are really about convincing us that wherever we go, life goes. When we die, life will move to heaven? No, it will not. It will have been there, and when we go there it will remain here too. Gratitude, then, could be arrived at by joining life rather than pulling life around us like an applauding audience. It applauds for sure, but it isn’t clapping for us. It’s asking us to clap with it, in joinful joy. Donald Miller.

Before I read Donald Miller's blog, this is where my head was...

the cable guy forgot to hook my office TV when he was here, now I have to wait for him to come back.

the biggest snowstorm since 1985 is suppose to be here tomorrow by 5am, my days of sun are gone.

DH has his 12 hours day today, long day for me.

If you can't hear it, there is a bunch of whining going on there. After letting DM words soak in for a while, I felt ashamed. Really, I said to myself. the all about me thing hit too close to home. Way too close.

If we don’t get laid or paid, it goes on in all it’s brutal beauty.

Regrouped. Life is looking a bit different, yet nothing has changed. Cable guy still isn't here, sun is still shining and DH won't be home for hours. It is not that our circumstances have to change, it is us. Wow.

XO...

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If I sign Something with an XO, and at the time, I truly mean it. But that kind of love, costs me ...nothing. Love that looks like a noun, with no love is cheap love. Does it mean it doesn't count? No, but there isn't much root in that kind of Love.

We are always in love with Something, from ice cream to football. At any given moment, our love is being directed at a person, place or thing. A song, a cookie, a book or iPad. That kind of love doesn't prepare us for the work of True Love/

True Love hurts and Sometimes, it hurts bad. Like marriage, parenting and many other of life's sports, it takes action and courage on our part. We have to embrace some things and let go of other things.

We have to give up what we expected love to look like and look at it for what it is. It is not about how we feel at any given moment. I would have sold DH many times over if love was only about feeling. Good and bad, thick and thin. There is more to it than a capitalized XO. Much, much more...

chauffeur...

Missed a great shot the other day when I was driving. If you think texting and driving shouldn't be done at the same time, watching me get a camera out of my purse while driving, would scare you to death especailly if you were driving next to me.

Today, my chauffeur was at the wheel when I saw him and made a mad dash to capture it. Wondered what the dog was thinking. Wondered if his owners bought the van with him in mind. Wondered if he was standing on anything. Wonder if he was worried. Or, if he was just like me. Happy to be out and have someone else drive me around. I'll bet, it was the latter...

growing up...

One of the realities of 2011 hit me in last quarter but wasn't made clear until the beginning of 2012.

My kiddoes are growing up. Of course I knew this and had made some adjustments. Trying to learn to give them their space but found out they still like to be cuddled more than I thought. I ask permission more often to take there photo and in general, try not to embarrass them.

Mostly the days of helping with sick kids, or running to doctors visits is over. Each one has social commitments that take up whatever time school and homework doesn't. If I get to see them during the week, it is a Big Deal but it is all part of growing up, for them and for me.

So, I find myself in this limbo. Could try to get a job but with Stevie soon to be home, I want to be here to figure that out and honestly, enjoy sharing our world together, whatever that will look like.

The point is we all need to change and grow and it usually isn't very comfortable. We go from the frantic life of raising kids and working jobs to an empty nest. Then the nest becomes full again. Then the nest empties. A fluid life cycles where we seem to forget everything we know and have to learn all over again.

Feeling good that I am moving forward and whatever that looks like will be a new chapter and knowing that a hug is always near...

letting go...

DH has begun the process of letting go of 45 years at his job. He didn't imagine at 18 that this is where he would be. It was to be a short tern job. Art and San Francisco was where he was headed. Military, school, work and finally me came along and changed his plan.

The last few months have been taking up by training the four who will take over for him. By ending his one man show, times like this - the phone thing will be a thing of the past. He and by he I mean me, have endured this telephone thing for years. Before cell phones, we were tied to the house because of his 24/7 commitment. I have not so kiddingly said I imagine that our phone number is written in most bathrooms between Here and There.

Not just those at the plant but truck drivers looking for directions off the interstate. Many of them wanting to unload on off hours and being told, they would have to layover, like it of not. Can't tell you how many nights he has had to jump out of bed and fly out the door. Hard to believe he is not a doctor just the Keeper of All Things, French Fries. McDonald's may seem like just a fun place where the Hamburglar used to live but is a strong, task master.

Last weekend, we took Keaton to a fancy brunch and yet again, the phone rings. We have all learned that our lives go on and no longer wait for him. Birthdays, holidays even brunches have left us with no option.

Now on the eve of change, I wonder how difficult it will be for him when he does retire. He may be the head honcho at work but all that stops, soon. We have been practicing our soon to be new life. He knows all about Happy Hour at Sonic, and other game changers. I think it will more difficult than what he thinks. Barking orders at me won't work and while he knows that with his heart, his head may take some convincing.

But, what I won't miss the most is that phone. The one that doesn't faze me anymore when it goes off in the middle of the night - multiple times. I will not miss him having into scream into the phone at 3am because someone called from a Place where the noise level was off the chart. It is all coming to an end. Between Now and That day, the end is in sight and Someday, a phone ringing in the middle of the night will be what it always has been, sa sign of Things To Come...

bookshelf...

One downside to the ebook revolution is the end of the bookshelf as we know it. Despite our growing elibraries, there is just Something about seeing a wall of books that you have kept because they struck a cord in your world.

Long ago, the bookshelf at my house was dubbed, the Zalaine Dille Memorial Library. I save books not for me but for them. Some of the greatest ideas, thought and gems are sitting on this shelves. There are books that will make them laugh, make them cry and make them think. Collections from writers who left such an impression with me. Robert Fulgrum, Madeleine Engle, Brenning Manning, David Sedaris. Books that came at crucial Seasons of life. Books that taught me the value of seeing past what I believe.

While I understand that they will not read every book and even if they do, they won't walk away with the same lessons I have learned. They will have to make their own way but with this wealth of knowledge left for them, it is hard to believe they won't find themselves along the way and that is the best thing I could ever hope for...

sustainable...

It is already the 9th of the month and statistically, many of the resolutions that were made at the beginning of the month, are long gone.

We have good intentions, we really do.

This time, it is going to be different.
This time, I have the willpower/faith/attitude, and I want it.


A few weeks later, this isn't doable.

I believe that alot of what we do to yourselves, sets us up for failure by being unsustainable. If you start with Something that can not become a permanent part of your life, for whatever reason, you are already doomed.

Going to pick on NutriSystem and love on Weight Watchers.

One depends on eating their food.
One depends on eating your food.

One changes only the food you eat - habit.
One changes the way you eat food.

One is not based on a lifetime of sustainablility.
One is.

When you change a behavior, it needs to make sense. It also needs to be uncomplicated. Saw a new nail gun on TV that is suppose to be the cure-all for hanging photos but what happens when the nails run out? One of those Only Sold On TV deals that won't be around in a few months? We all don't need more gadgets in our lives, unless they are sustainable.Unless they bring, long term change. That is what is will make all our efforts, not in vain. That will bring change and peace and success and goodwill. Every thing else is just grabbing merciless for Something to make us feel better. Personally, I don't need one more of those kinds of deals in my life...

wrong...

Don't jump! Being wrong isn't worth it! It will get better!

Most of us have the same feeling, while standing on a cliff. The idea of being wrong and admitting it is more than most of us, can bear.

It feels fatal

Most of us spend much of our time, gasping for security...That was the statement on the radio. We are so desperate to not feel anything bad, that the cost seem to justify the means to an end.

As my crazy, darling husband stood on the edge of the cliff and was a very bad influence for my grandson, I tried to see it from his view. All I wanted him to do was to get back down but knew that first, he wouldn't and second, it would be a great icon shot. His fearlessness is not mine. I have learned a bit from him but my natural mama bear - itis, tells me that Trouble, is never far.

What am I wrong about and what does that look like? I can tell you I am wrong about lots and lots of things, but understanding to be open about it is the first step to freedom and a chance to be better, every day...

parable...

A parable is a succinct story, in prose or verse, which illustrates one or more instructive principles, or lessons, or (sometimes) a normative principle. It differs from a fable in that fables use animals, plants, inanimate objects, and forces of nature as characters, while parables generally feature human characters. It is a type of analogy. Wikipedia.

I want to write a parable this year. Not sure what it will look like but this description gives me a place to start.

I didn't know what a parable was until I was a Big Girl. Reading bible stories, I started to get a bit excited at these stories that said so much but weren't true or real. They made sense, made a point and always made you walk away, with something you could sink your teeth into. Food for thought, if you will.

Maybe Kryptonite. Wow, what would that look like. Wouldn't have to look far for a person to fit that bill. Maybe something to remind me that I am human when I have forgotten which happens often. The more street photography I do , the more I empathy I feel with my fellow man. Still blown away by some people's normal, I find myself bouncing back soon and not emotionally, staggering around the room.

Isn't the what Jesus was trying to say in his parables? Whether about fields of crops. or wages or more to eat and drink, these were not feel good Stories where everything was right in the end. The prodigal son may be my favorite. It has more drama that most TV shows now. Unfairness, brother against brother, pigs and slop - the things we love to see on reality shows but now so much in our real lives. Think inspiration is coming...

January...

January comes with its own expectations. Resolutions, a new attitude - lots and lots of expectations. Add your own to the mix and now, you've got a heap of trouble.

Yes, it is a natural break and we have nothing else to do. Waiting for W-2 and spring is not all it is cracked up to be. The sun was shining again today, with no sign of snow in site. Almost makes one giddy.

Dh and I have been talking about the 21 day thing. You know, the one where you can change a habit in 21 days. I know lots of nice people try to help with encouraging words and projects but the truth is, most 21 day plans fail. We are not 21 day kind of people. We are forever kind of people. If this was not true, then we would all be a lots skinnier, lungs would be clear and our pocketbooks would be oozing with the money we learned to save. 21 days is just a start. A little start. Any habit/thought/theme that brought you to a 21 day program, is going to be a lifelong commitment.

It is not going to be automatic,
You are going to struggle,
and no magic beanstalk is going to make it better.

Change Something if you ready to. Not because Someone else wants you too. Accept that is will be an everyday commitment. Know that you will have to fight uphill most days, but that some days will be easier than others. Start small, don't try to switch out everything at once and look out for January. She may not be the best one to trust, let her know who is boss and then find a way, to live together. 21 days is the beginning, not the end...

living the dream...

No, really. No sarcasm here. Weather wise, this is about as good as it gets for this Cali Girl. With the exception of less than a week, we have had sunshine every day for as long as I can remember. No snow or signs of snow. No winter here. 45 in January feels like 65.

Wearing shorts when at home and the flip flops aren't packed away, you never know. Have been having wonderful memories of Palm Springs. Was there a few times as a kid and loved it. When I think of Palm Springs, I think of white, huge houses. White, inside and out. White walls, white floors - white everything. Having Palm Springs to think about on a 45 degree day in Idaho, is about as good as it gets in January.

Bogus Basin, our local ski mountain is covered in grass. They have not opened and see no opening date in the near future. The loss to them daily, $100,000 dollars. Nothing to laugh at. With no snow and very little rain, water will be a huge issue come spring but for now, for me - living the dream is just that and much more.

occupy Boise...

The 2011 Word of the Year - Occupy.
With all the Occupy cities that are so much a part of our news, decided to head downtown and see what the 5th and Jefferson site was all about. Maybe 4o tents and only saw three men, Dh and I walked around and took in the sights. Laundry hanging from makeshift drying racks. The Porta potties were a surprise. Not sure who is paying for them. Two of the men were putting up a tent and as we left, the older explained that the news had been there most of the day and he asked if I was trying to save history for posparity. I told him, I was recording this history for my grandchildren. He seemed particularly happy with my answer, nice to have his approval.

Walking around their compound reminds you of the things you take for granted. Whatever their own personal reasons for being there and making this commitment, when it is winter and in the Northwest, it is cold. While we haven't had any snow, the nights have been in the teens and lower. Say what you want, not sure what I would have to believe in to make that kind of physical commitment.

After we got back in the car, DH explained this sign. Back in the 30's when life was crashing around every one, tent cities, rose up. Named Hooverville after the President-in-charge, A way to connect, a way to band together, a way to protest. History really does repeat itself, but it is our job to pay attention and learn. Stay warm, Occupy Boise and thanks for the history lesson...

25/30...

Christmas Eve.
25 people, 30 pounds of prime rib.

Quite the evening. Fabulous meal and then off to church. Even if there was no other Christmas activities in your life, being in church Christmas Eve with your arms wrapped around your grandgirl and hearing her in all her 6 year old self - singing Oh Come Let Us Adore Him, with vigor and enthusiasm usually reserved for all things American Girl doll, is all you would need to make Christmas the best one, ever.

Cousins are a fun thing to look forward too. Catching up since the last family dinner, picking up right where you left off. Opening presents, sneaking one or two or many, Buckeye Balls. it is all part of the ritual. One we all look forward too. Especially the man who took home three bags of prime rib leftovers. Guess what? After four days off and a lot of holiday goodies, his pants didn't fit the morning he had to head back to work. All I am saying is Thank God, I don't have a job...