Student aid

 One is doing homework, the other one is taking a drama Master Class with Kevin Spacey. One thing that should be a part of our everyday lives is the idea that we are always a student. Whether actually taking a class or having coffee with a friend, we need to be open to learning. Doesn't have to be fancy, pen and paper or the Notes app on your phone. My class of choice right now, is my file of social media screenshots. Quotes from Twitter, talks from Ted, and ideas new to my little brain, all get a place at my mindful table. They define the way I learn, which defines the way I act and think. I always imagine myself walking around with an imaginary backpack, ready to learn. Ready to sit at someone's feet, ready to put aside what I know to inherit more. There is a mindset to one who is teachable. May it always be this way for them, I pray. 


Today is turning into an exercise I call, 5 Questions for Jesus. Before I gave Jesus much though, the only question I ever asked concerning him, was more of a statement. I used it as a flag in the my atheist club, flying it freely and often.

If you are God, why do little kids die?

Later, as a young believer, that question changed to, If you are the son of God, why do bus loads of Christian get in car wrecks and die?

I am now in my 38 year of being a believer and am able to ask much better questions. Understanding that we change more often that we think, so do our questions. I got more time behind me than in front of my, got to get questions answered in a timely manner. Some serious, some not. Like a conversation at Flying M. Here we go.

1. Why did Charley Manson live to be an old man?
2. Was Eve on the dim witted side?
3. Hitler killed over 6 million people, how were those days for you?
4. Why does mankind think that prostitution can ever be cured or peace among all men, are possible?
5. What one thing do you think that we are capable of that we don't see?

There were different ones yesterday and the questions will change again tomorrow. What doesn't change is I do not need answers to go on. You are who you say you are. I hang my heart there. Running the race, best I can.

Say what you mean, mean what you say

 Vicente Fox who served as President of Mexico from 2000 to 2006, is becoming my muse. Even though no longer in office, his threats appear, to carry some serious weight. This one made me giggle. Whether because he used the f word in such an accurate way or because the pressure is getting to me, #...ingWall is where I stand right now. I have always said that the use of a naughty word is only bad if it is not used properly. These days tha f word is flown like a flag, it is all over the place without form or function. Mr Fox gives a voice to what I am feeling with an intensity reserved for very few issues. Lots of promises were made but our new president is discovering that running a business is very different from running a country. There are checks and balances, and there are consequences. Whatever the days to come bring, we are finding there are new ways of protesting, voices that talk back and everyone is watching. And talking. And completely ready, to go.


 There are certain beliefs that start when you are young, that slowly mature or fade away. These are the Big Ones, the beliefs that shape who you become because your actions are based on them. There is also a Plan B category that backs up, accessorizes and ultimately, influences those choices. 
They can be beliefs about culture. I believe prostitution, racism and peace, can not be dramatically changed in a lifetime. We talk about peace on earth and goodwill toward man but collectively, we are not able to pull it off. There are things happening now with social media that I never could have imagined as as young person but am smart enough to know the internet is not going away and is bringing life long issues of its own. Are we more savvy than those born 100 years ago? Are we better equipped to handle the Big Questions of life? Will 50 more years bring us to a better understanding of why. My beliefs have changed dramatically over the years, both what is possible and what is not. For those things not possible, I am at complete peace. Someday is good enough for me. May I always be aware of the possible. Aware and open. My biggest prayer is that I don't get the two mixed up.


 Focus. Do not worry about what the other guy is doing. It is not yours to know or expect or do. You are number three. That is all you have to have to ponder. Number 3 stuff. Your journey, your words, your life. You are the sum of your experiences and you will act on how you perceive those experiences. 
I was raised by men. A few minutes tea around me and you would get that. There was a mother in my life but her part was to bring constant fear to the family. The results are I interact better with men, probably think more like a man. Hate chit chat, let's us get to nitty griddy of it. I can only be me. This is who I am. Focus, be the best me I can be. Be the best you, you can be. We ask so much more of ourselves than God ever does. We are our worse enemy. Time to make nice and be your own best friend. You will never please everyone, stop trying and beating yourself up but do it with kindness. You don't have to put others down to make yourself feel good. It just doesn't work. Doesn't feel so good. My favorite prayer is not in the Bible. It is in the AA manual. Serenity, change, accept. Do the best you can. Every day.