Sometimes there was a storm in her brain... One of my favorite quotes from my favorite jeweler, Sally Jean. How did she know that is how I operate????
That explains not only my creative process but my life process too. Had a great weekend - a little fun, a little picture taking, a little time for creativity and more picture taking. There were many storms in my brain this weekend and I didn't mind a bit.
I find that if I study areas of my life that I think may be not hold the Big Answers, not only am I wrong but I learn Something.
The Anatomy of a Layout...
This layout started out as lavendar with green flowers and color photos. Then I changed the photos to black and white - left everything else as it was. Then adding bling seemed like a good idea. Now I have to say there was probably 1/2 hour between all these revelations. My mind had to rest but with the gnawing going on the background, I knew we weren't done. When I decided that the bling was workable and would stay - I was happy, for a few minutes. Then I started playing with some actions and about the sixth one, I came up with this version and I was sold. No more play. The voices were silent.
Pretty much like my Real Life. I do not always have the luxury of time. Yesterday as we were in the car, as we passed the cemetary, they were having a celebration and released a group of balloons. I got my camera out and turned it out as fast as I could and snapped away. Sometimes, you only have seconds to decide on a kindness or word to a stranger. On very rare occasions, everything falls into place and it seems so easy. For a while, the storms pass...but we know they will come again but for now, the silence is quite nice...
I have no experiences to share with you. I have never been anywhere near where you are now. I do not know anyone who has ever had breast cancer. There is nothing in my arsenal of life’s journeys that can give you advice. No information or statistics I can throw your way to make you feel better, understand where you are or where you going.
Physically, this is your journey. None of us will go through what you will. We are not there with you at night when the fears seem to grow so much faster and seem so much bigger. In a physical sense, this may seem like a long road and that you are all alone. What I can share with you is – whatever you are feeling, you are not alone.
There are so many of us who will walk this way with you. You may never see us or even know all of us but we are there. I can only imagine that God has put you on our hearts all hours of the day so you are always covered in prayer. There may be times when you may see us in person – maybe to bring a meal or take Sam out for ice cream but the majority of the time that we will be with you, you will never see or hear us.
Your world has been turned upside down in the last week. While overwhelming to you, the God who made you is not. Personally, I am going to stand with Him. He knows the Way and I am chasing after Him, with you in tow.
Live in the Moment, my friend. Not because of where you are but because you are here. None of us have any guarantees to tomorrow and to be in the everyday is the only way to live, no matter who you are or what your circumstances. I have held you tight in my heart and will continue to do so….love zalaine
to make clear
My sister and I had this conversation last week. She is a married woman, no children and has always worked. She defines herself by the job she has at - any given moment so her self worth is fluid and fused with her employment reality. I worked over 25 years and hated 95% of it. A job to me was always about a paycheck, my heart was always at home. Even if I had been childless, the hum of the dryer and cooking a fine meal would be my preference. During those working years I defined myself not by either working or non-working but by being a smart-ass. If you met me, I wanted you to walk away with that impression. I could've cared less if you like me or not but if you could see that trait in me, I was happy.
I think the way we define ourselves changes like the Seasons of our lives. While I am a wife, mother and nana - and these roles are my heart, I can't define myself by any of them. I am a scrapbooker, a photographer and a blogger but those hats, while they describe me, also can't define me.
I was a West Wing fanatic - still am. I would always get a chill when someone said, I serve at the pleasure of the President Of The United States. My heart would swell up and I could almost feel myself holding my head up a little higher. The way I define myself these days is simple - I serve at the pleasure of Jesus.
All the places I could define myself would give me a false point of reference. When I have used them in the past, I found myself in trouble. When you have a false point of reference, all your decisions are based on that reference being ultimately perfect and there is nothing perfect but Him.
Don't think I am so smart -I just realized this today but I also understand this has been going on for awhile, I just didn't recognize it. More and more, I see I have no real control, only over myself and I/we/multiple personalites might argue that point very successfully. I serve at the pleasure of Jesus - each and everyday.
That is how I see myself -
this is how I define myself...
The whole picture taking thing has not been what I expected. At the very beginning, when it was in the thinking phase - I expected it would help me to take better pictures. By day 5, a photo of ANYTHING would do. It has turned out to be more of a picture journal than anything. I love taking these pics at the gas station - I have one in November when the price of gas was $2.18. While my skills haven't seen much improvement, I am delighted when I look back to see what any given day was like. Snow, kids playing, shopping or a birthday - it has been worth it just for those daily reminders. On those days when there were mulitple events, I pick the one that I need to remember the most.
There are a few pictures of food. Reminders that I was able to eat and how good that felt. Times with family and friends where food was not an issue but like the POTD, everyday brings something new. Originally when I had this problem in 1994 - after some testing the doctor said, " IT ( swallowing ) doesn't work so be careful when you eat". Sounded a bit strange but I have come to understand it completely. Have had some issues the last few days and it would appear, IT isn't working again.
I would love to feel sorry for myself but I can't. Being able to enjoy a taco, popcorn and a salad has been wonderful. If IT never works again, I am so ok. If IT does, that is great too. I could never imagine eating again and I did. I have experienced a miracle I never expected. Life gets no greater than this - I am truly blessed. Not sure how to do it but today's picture is of a grateful heart...
Emily and Joshua have topped the list as number one names for girls and boys for a long time Funny how we pick names for our newborn. Keaton has a kid in his second grade class who is named after a surfing comic book character. There is a family in our community whose last name is Wolfe and they have a Timber and Grey. I read an Ann Landers piece once where a woman named her off spring with the surgical operations she had been through.
My daughter, being born in the 70's, had a middle name of Sunshine all through my pregnancy. It sounded so cool but in the end, we went with Theresa. For me it was either Zalaine or Heidi - either way, I lose. I guess if I could have forseen the future, I would pick the name I wound up with but knowing there was a mad dash to sign my birth certificate and my dad got there first, it puts a damper on being a lovely sentiment.
You meet some people and can't imagine them having any other name. It is like it was completely out of their parent's control, divinely inspired if you will. I have a hard time with those names who try to come up with unique spelling. Amy aka - Aimee, Ami, Amee. I need it simple - hard to imagine you could not recognize a simple name like Amy but it is becoming more and more popular.
Whatever your name, whether divinely inspired or you are named after a rollercoaster in Iowa - it is something to be proud of. You may never have been able to walk into Target and buy a pencil with your name on it but maybe somehow, it has contributed to who you are today. Even if your name is Katrina...
There are some years where we don't know anyone who is starting on the Real Life journey but there is Something about May that reminds us of classes gone by. Our own, our children - there are rites of passages for parents as we watch our kids move on in life. It also reminds us that we are getting older.
It is also the time of year for weddings and there are several of those on the calendar. My daughter celebrates 10 years of marriage this July - seems like yesterday. Can't believe I have been a mother-in-law for 10 years. Not sure I would have the guts to ask my SIL for a report card.
At the graduation party, I got to see the bride's dress for the July Wedding. It is beautiful and she glowed as she shared her plans. Young love is wonderful at any time but a summer wedding brings a special glow. I can't wait to shoot their engagement photos in a few weeks and they are up for fun. The wedding will be delight to shoot.
Waking thru Target yesterday, there was a display of graduation gifts. Class of 2007 - For me, it was the Class of 69. Graduation was June 13. I still remember the date and that was 38 years ago. It is a nice yearly reminder of how far we have come and hopefully, we have a lot of good to show for it...