Apparently there may be some glitches. Cell phones and computers may have to be manually corrected. Who decides this stuff? I don't remember a mandate of the people being taken or a prop that we voted on last fall. I checked my calendar and there it is, March 11 - Daylight Saving Time starts - so apparently this has been common knowledge for alot of folks or at least the ones who print the calendars.
It's not that big of a deal but I find myself feeling a little unsettled. What is the worse that could happen - be a little early to church on Sunday? You know that feeling like when you have been in a accident - if you had only been a little early or a few minutes later, you would have missed it completely? Think of a whole hour and what a difference that could make.
One of our local communites lost 5 children from 2 families in a deadly car crash yesterday. It appears that the road was slick and there was no guardrail and they went into the water. One of the family lost a daughter and son, the other 2 boys and a girl. The family that lost 3 children yesterday had lost another child 5 years ago in a construction accident. That does not compute or make sense to me.
That feeling of if time had only stopped or been delayed happens to all of us in many different situtations, always as an afterthought. We have no control over these times and we obviously have no control over gaining an hour and then losing it again, every year. I guess I can just hope I use it wisely. The dad of the family who lost the three chidren said to Go home and hug your children. Count your blessings, don't let another hour go by and spring forward...
When I come thru those first set of doors and grab a shopping cart, I am filled with promise. Cupcakes, hamburger buns or milk - the decision is mine. That I still feel this way after all these years is telling.
What we have experience over the years, stays with us. We learn to co-exist together. It's not about having a coming to Jesus moment and poof, it is gone. Sometimes I think the new life He offers us - we interpret as completely different - everything is erased. I'm not so sure - I think as He shares more and more of His nature, its about how to co-exist with what we already know.
There is no doubt that parts of me, I no longer value and because of that, are of no interest or value to me but there are too many other areas of my life, that are just as strong as they have always been. I remember church people tellingme that I was going to have a New Life. Everything would change and when it didn't, I thought I was doing Something wrong.
The grocery store icon is perfect for me. It keeps me humble and childlike. I would love to say I always make healthy choices when I shop but there are days my cart runneth over with Hostess, Hershey and Godiva. The older I get the more I appreciate the past I have. It makes me more and more grateful everyday for the life I have today and oh, so hopeful for tomorrow...
It has been almost 7 months since I have been able to eat foods that I haven't in almost as many years. I can't explain it and while it still frightens me - it is a whole new, familiar world. ABout 3 weeks ago, we took the boys to a movie and for some crazy reason, I reached over and grabbed a handful of popcorn. I don't remember thinking, this is it. I don't remember thinking anything and when I was able to swallow it, I immediately went for another. Fear seemed to have flown out the window.
Six years of not eating and now I am eating popcorn. Everytime I put a piece in my mouth, the concept of a miracle comes to mind. It doesn\'t matter if it last a day or for the rest of my life. I will never forget these days.Life is scary and the window of our taking chances follows the seasons. Sometimes we are wide open and sometimes closed, to protect ourselves from the elements. For me even though it is cold outside, it appears that my window is wide open.
I don't want to be stupid about this. There is still fear involved in eating, just not when popcorn is involved. There is Something Big here I need to learn - I don't want to miss it. Maybe it is the Process of a Miracle or the Anatomy of a Miracle but whatever it is, I want to learn. Whether I ever eat another kernel of popcorn again, it will always remind me of the power of God and His love. From now on, popcorn will be a icon for all that is miraclious. Funny, it never ceases to amaze me, how the Teacher teaches and how the student learns...
In this life, you must adjust... one of the little tidbits of this colorful judge. This hearing brings together a mix of law, emotions, facts and fiction. A estranged mother, an unwedded companion and the most likely candidate for a 5 month old baby who has just lost her mother.
I have the luxury of time, I am so well aware and thankful for it. While the dishwasher is humming along, I will continue to watch this. I can't help but knowing there is information that is pertinent. Maybe not now, but sometime.
Judge Larry is a bit of a character. What seemed like a straight forward case is anything but. Much like life. He is saying that he needs to know Who the father is to decide Who gets AN's body. It always looks so simple when we are looking in from the outside. We are so humble and free about dispensing advice...when it is not about us.
Being in court is alot like Real life. Things come out of nowhere, everyone talks at the same time and there are many, many objections. It is a place where truth doesn't always win and at times, it is hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys. However, people dress better and the audience does stay in the back. I am very comfortable, makes me feel like home.
Don't know where this is going but I plan on listening. Having Judge Larry's advice in my head, if Something comes my way that I need to attend to, I'll be gone in a flash, right after I hit the record button...
1230AM - the phone rings. It is DH work. He has to go in. He has a little time after putting in a 12 hours shift but because he worked midnite to noon, they forgot to tell him that he would have to come back in the eraly AM.
He walks in the door at 500am and I decide that instead of the extra hour of sleep, I would get up early and get ready for the day early so he would not have a bit of sleep before I started making noise. We talked a little - I quizzed him about what day of the week it was. It's a game we play when our week is crazy and we think it is trying to drag us along. He knew it was Wednesday - I congratulated him, we laughed. He got in bed and I started to dry my hair.
I finished up as fast as I could and headed for the kitchen. There on the table was my valentine. For as many years as I can remember, on Valentine's Day, birthday and anniversaries - there is a hand-drawn little card who reminds me that I am loved. He always delivers his message on a piece of white copy paper, folded in quarters. His Valentine message to me was about how I am the woman and DH is a lucky man...
This is Valentine's Day to me. I wouldn't trade my little man cards for anything. Nothing that DH could have bought me at the mall could come close to making me smile. I am always wondering how the little guys is doing and this year, he was peeking out of the o in Woman...
Don't need chocolates or flowers. To have a Valentine is the greatest gift to me. If you have one, be ever so grateful. If you don't, find someone to give a little love to. I can't help but think about one of our digi girls whose sister was murdered by her boyfriend on Valentine's Day. What a difficult legacy to live with. Whatever circumstances you are in today, make it work for you. Don't get caught up in the details - remember the Big Picture! Happy Valentines Day...
Life is full of them. We pray for them but don’t always recognize them. We don’t always give then the respect we should. It’s not about deserving them because we really don’t. Walking away with understanding of making it right or learning from our mistakes is the Prize. We are owed nothing more.
I passed this recycled car parts store on the way to get a key made for my car this morning. Every time I see it, I get what they are trying to say. I think it makes all of us slow down, for the moment. Hopefully, the Bigger Picture makes us want to think more carefully about how we live. Don’t know if the people got a second chance or not – doesn’t look possible, does it?
We can do nothing about those second chances that never come. We live our lives the best we can, conscious of our choices and able to forgive ourselves when necessary. First thing this morning, I pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot and this little old lady was going down the isle with her trunk open. I thought she would stop but she didn’t. She had to have seen it – must have looked like it was midnight in her rear view mirror. She kept driving so instead of parking, I chased her down. I pulled around and tried to head her off before she got to the street. I was honking and she finally stopped. I am sure she was nervous so I approached her on the passenger side and with hand gestures, told her I would close her trunk for her. I did and came around on the driver’s side and waved to her. She waved back thankfully and was on her way. She didn’t look like she would make it home – I prayed that she would.
I have been given more than my fair share of second chances and am painfully aware that I still fall short of making the most of them. All I can do is continue to be aware and persevere. Be grateful for those times I get to call do overs and those times I don’t. Be able to live with the consequences and take advantage of getting a second chance, that is way more than I deserve…
But I didn't leave. I stayed. As the music began, this older gentleman in front of me pulled out his tamborine, complete with flowing ribbons, and started to play. I felt a big smile start to come across my face. He played very well, laid it down gently during slow songs and picked it up, playing with much gusto the rest of the time. I loved that he was demonstrative in his worship and able to hear the march of his personal drummer.
After the music, announcements and greeting - the speaker of the morning got up and started to speak. The next 40 minutes were an absolute delight. He was charming, funny and passionate. He shared personal Stories, made us laugh while sharing God's Word. What a great morning that I almost missed.
Well, Ms Smarty Pants - what do you think now? My loyal self had given me up. What I thought to be true - was not. My Tamborine friend had been well worth the trip and Mr Preacher guy, well, let's bring him back real soon.
He talked about how hard it is to give up being in the driver seat, that our natural inclination is not to love, riding shotgun. How right he is - it will always be that way for me. Yesterday's lesson is another experience that hopefully resonated with me and will stay when I start trying to crawl from the passenger side trying to force my way back into the driver seat. It happens to all of us and will always be Something that we will have to learn over and over again. Thanks Ms Smarty Pants, I can always count on you to learn a great lesson - I love you so...
One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Steel Magnolias, pretty much describes my mood today. In a few hours when the sun comes up, my front yard will be filled with a backhoe and more than a few plumbers. With the water turned off for most of the day, housework will be going on the back burner and the three-ring circus will be my focus.
Wednesday started out bad. Lost my keys somewhere at home. Usually not a big deal, they will turn up except that the last time I had them was Monday and Tuesday was trash day. Again, not a big deal unless your car key cost $200. I am giving myself until Monday to buy a replacement but it makes me nervous. Since Wednesday, I have lost the second key 4 times.
When the mail came Wednesday, my water bill was 4 times what it usually is. Thinking they misread the meter, I asked for a reread. They told us to check for a water leak. We did. They misread the meter by almost a 1000 gallons and we had a water leak. The plumbers came on Thursday and after much hand digging, we went from a $300 repair to an almost $2000 repair. Don't panic, call insurance, pay $500 deductible - get er done. While at karate last night, a claims adjuster called to tell me my yard isn't covered by my homeowners policy. My yard isn't covered by my homeowners policy? When you are buying insurance, this is not a question that readily comes to mind, Is my yard included in this abnormally large quote?
Haven't I repeatedly said/thought and truly believe that, life is unfair. As I drove home from karate, I tried to make sense of the whole thing and realized that there are few places to turn when life throws you a curve like this. Actually, only one place. With my mind unable to shut down, it is tough to get there and tougher to stay. Jesus is a place to go where peace is free and unfair is met with comfort... now if I could only find a sparring outfit and something to hit. Ever the optomist, maybe I will get lucky and the backhoe operator will find my keys...
Everywhere you turn, someone is talking about you. Your life was ruined in an instant. You had such a high profile job where all kids and most adults think pretty highly of you - you have disappointed everyone beyond what you can comprehend.
You have embarrassed your kids and husband - Jay Leno is talking about you every night. It would make you cringe to hear the jokes and the audience's laughter. You said, " he was more than a friend and less than a lover". On some level, we want to ask you the same thing Jay Leno asked Hugh Grant after he was caught with a prostitute, " What the hell were you thinking?", but we know you can't explain it or at least not in the near future
Driving 600 miles from Texas to Florida while wearing diapers. A disguise made up of a wig and a trenchcoat. There was duct tape, a metal mallet, pepper spray a knife and 2 soiled diapers found in your car. You say all you wanted to do is talk to her - not very convincing.
You got to come home, not sure that would have been the case if you had not been an astronaut and quite frankly, I'm not sure that it is fair. Anyone else accused of attempted murder with bizarre circumstances would still be in jail or at the very least, not able to leave the state. You even had one of your own come get you and escort you back to Texas.
You are being evaluated by some of the best medical people anywhere. Another perk that most of us would never have the option of. I hope they can help you - you really need it. As for that mission you were looking forward to in March - looks like you will need a replacement.
When I first heard your Story, I had three immediate thoughts...
1. You are nuts
2. Nasa was nuts (not to see this sooner)
3. There but for the grace of God go I...
I don't think you were smart enough to fool whole medical teams and keep your craziness hidden. I imagine that when you went up in space, you were perfectly sane, mind and body - good to go.., I think you snapped. Whatever else has gone on in your life, it drove you to do things that you never would have dreamed you were capable of. That's what scares me.
You see, we are not all that different and this is what you have taught me. There is not a one of us who could not be in your Shoes for any number of reasons, in a heartbeat. You didn't invent going nuts and the diaper thing was a part of your training - you were doing what you had been trained to do. My craziness would look different from yours but it all comes from the same well. What I am trying to say and obviously not doing a great job is, while it may feel that way, you are not alone. I can so painfully see how it could be me. You can choose to get well and continue on with life. It will not be the same life you had last week, you have to be willing to accept that but if you have the courage - there is a life waiting for you.
There but for the grace of God go I... get well, my friend.
My favorite one has been on for a few months. It plays in my head even when the TV is turned off. Flip That House's, Kirsten talks about the death of her father when she was 23. She shares, "I grew up in that moment". I know exactly what she means. You don't expect to find that much wisdom on TV, that is why I see the need to pay close attention. You never know from which direction God is going to come, no matter how spiritual you think you are.
I grew up in that moment - it didn't happen when my mother died when I was 17. I was in Idaho and had to fly back to California. Not unlike my family history, her death was the least of of the bad memories for us. It was a relief - it sounds harsh but until you have lived it, you have no idea what it is like. When my father died almost 20 years later, his death was another big relief. What struck me a few days after the funeral was that I was a orphan. Regardless of your relationship with your parents when they are gone, you step up and become their generation - there is an unsettling feeling. You grow up in that moment.
I had no insight to living in the moment back in those days. I worked full time and my daughter had so many health problems until she was 10 that we just tried to make it thru the week, Those were the days when you felt you had to be in church 5 times a week - or you were going straight to hell. Now I know that was a man-invented hell but back then, I was taking no chances. You live and learn and hopefully, do better.
Happiness...not in another place but this place, not for another hour but this hour...Walt Whitman. Looking back, I see Kirsten's insight as an affirmation of God's Love. When I truly saw Him for who He is, not the pleaseanswerallmyprayersthewayIwant God - I grew up in that moment.
It was a sobering time - not a time to be giddy like the Gary Larsen cartoon's of the dog waving his paw with much enthusiasm from the car to his dog friend, "Hey, I am on my way to the vet to get tutored!"
It was in that moment I understood and accepted that God's Love is not painless. It was a life-changing moment for me. I have glanced over my shoulder a few times as I am walking forward but that's to be expected. It reminds me of what I have seen and heard along the Way. It is preparing me for what is ahead. All I need to do is be...
Not only is it my desire to make others laugh, it is essential that I make myself laugh. Laughter has gotten me thru the worst moments in my life. It may not have always been appropriate but it was life-saving to my mental health. I have had to ask for forgiveness at times and I'm sure there will be more to come.
A heartfelt belly laugh complete with tears is one of the best medicines around. For me, something that has moved me to that point of uncontrollable laughter is as healing as any needle and thread. You wipe away the tears, your stomach hurts but you are grinning from ear to ear. It makes me smile just thinking about it.
My favorite joke has the f word in it. I can't help it. It has been my favorite joke for 40 years. God and I have had many conversations about it. He know that everytime I hear it in my head, it makes me laugh. I will tell you it involves an old lady and chocolate ice cream. Coming to Christ at 25 brings it own baggage - and God knows, I love carrying around a good purse.
I would have loved to be a stand-up comedian but I also have that superhero desire. That would never work in Real Life. Look at Superman, he had plenty of funny material and he just let it go. Maybe he ran it by those adoptive parents of his and it fell on deaf ears. If I remember correctly, they were always portrayed as quite dowdy. Superman had to have noticed when he looked in the mirror that there was very little family resemblance and decided to focus on the difficult work of saving the world instead of making it laugh.
I feel better already - it is going to be a fine day. The wedding cake layout made me happy. It made my DH do bellylaugh. He loves that about me - that part that makes him crazy is when I jump out of bed at 6am and have a monologue ready to go and deliver it while he is trying to get dressed for work. Living with me is a curse, I tell ya. Find time for a little laugh today, take 1 twice a day for the rest of your life..
I have had a slew of pictures to play with this weekend from a wedding shoot on Saturday. These little princess girls were in their element. They twirled around over and over, for no apparent reason other than complete joy.
We have all been to enough weddings to pretty much know, the basic premise. The differences comes in the details. Each wedding has its own flavor. Guests and wedding planners set the tone and we all just follow. The photographer of any nuptial event has been given the daunting task of deciding which memories are worthy of making it in to the proofs.
The photographs of the bride and groom are about documentation. Hopefully, you get a few unconventional shots but mainly, this it the time for formal shots. These will be the photos that will stay in the family album and decorate the walls along the staircase forever. After the formal shots are done, its time to party with the camera and shoot the other side of a wedding.
These little girl were running around like it was their wedding. I came up to them and just said, " Ladies, Strike a pose!" and they gave me the most FABulous shot. There is just something about girls and weddings. It really can't be explained - it must be part of the feminine DNA that brings out the soft side and makes us all giggly.
It also is a time for each of us to remember our own weddings. You can't help it. You remember and you think about where you are today and where you might be tomorrow. For women, it is a time to do what comes naturally to us - pitch in and do what you can to help. It is my favorite part of any wedding, working in the kitchen after the reception, cleaning up and sharing women words.
Strike a pose - we girls are good at it. We can do it anytime, anywhere and are more than happy to do so...
A digi friend of mine had put together a collage of her pictures and I was absolutely in love. I knew I wanted to do the same. I got inspired last night and painstakingly started piecing together my version of of her vision.
Actually, each of our collages would look quite similiar. While faces, places and events would differ, it is oddly strange how much they would have in common. Maybe color or form, there would look more alike than different.
Mine has lots of red in it. I like to take pictures with lots of red. We are a red kind of family but everyday can't be a red day. There are blue days, yellow days and days with little or no color. They are all a part of the collage, they play a part and tell a Story.
As I was bringing in photo after photo, I thought about a daily collage. Somedays there might be one or two pictures, other days, a film strip of a 24 hour blur. Today's collage would include a photos of my girls and a wedding rehearsal. Always leaving room for the unexpected, tonight when I go to bed, I would pack all the pictures in a nice little frame and say goodnight to the day.
I got tremendous creative satisfaction from the finished collage. All the pieces fit together perfectly and the colors are stunning. Maybe I love it so much because it is complete. It may only reflect 2006 but it is a complete 2006. All i's are dotted and all t's are crossed and there is nothing we like better than a finished project. Real Life isn't like that. Real Life is never complete. We have our moments but we are always aware that we are not complete.
For today, I will print off a copy of this to put on my desk as an icon to life. Now I have to decide which one. You see, I applied 11 filters to the original collage. Each one changes the look and reminds me that it is all in the eye of the beholder. We see what we want to see and as of right now, I want to see it all...
I remember having a conversation with my sister 5 or 6 years ago about not putting outgoing mail in the her mailbox at home. She told me that for years, she had taken hers to the local post office and never sent anything thru the mail at her own home. Even though I couldn't imagine that would ever be a problem here, I started following suit - that was in the days before electronic bill pay so we had to go a few times a month, now it is easier and I am still heeding her advice.
While I may be savvy in the ways of mailbox protection, my shredder ways have not advanced much. Not wanting to spend $150 on the perfect paper shredder, I have a low tech approach that not only works but is quite satisfying. I tear the envelopes in half, then I rip each pile little bitty pieces. I put one pile in one garbage bag and the other in a second garbage bag. My thinking is that if someone did go thru my trash, they would, at first, be happy to find my homemade shreds until they figured out that they only had 1/2 the information they needed for their identity thief project. There is some weird satisfaction in all that for me.
I know what you are thinking, this girl has too much time on her hands and you would be right. Think how much good I could do in world if I took that time and focused in other areas but I don't see that happening. My super-girl gene is just too strong and beating the Bad Man at his own game is so rewarding and fufilling.
Wish I had a shredder for Real Life. I can imagine hundreds of uses. Those days when I feel like nothing is right, or life isn't fair or ohnoherehitcomesagain. I could just shred them away.
It isn't that easy. God didn't make us that way. He made us to depend on Him. It's not about tearing up whatever we don't like or want to hide It is about going thru, not around.
Dang, and the shredder was such a good idea , on paper, anyway ...