I have often said one of the worse days in my whole life is finding out that Santa was not real. That may seem immature coming from a grown woman but to this day, I can still recall how hard that Moment hit. I was shattered, my life was over. Santa was not just Santa, he was going to be the One who got me out of this hellhole of a family I
That my father found it necessary to share that on Christmas morning and couldn't wait till the off season, it was only fair that I shared with my sister which got me in Bit Trouble. Didn't care, it was worth every bit of it. That is why it felt and still does, fatal. If there was no Santa, I had no Plan B. He was somehow going to magically scoop me up and take me back with him to the North Pole, where life was not scary, there was always plenty to eat and no one would hurt you. There was no baby Jesus or talk of a manger. We sang Jingle Bells and All I Want For Christmas but there was no singing Away In A Manger or Little Town of Bethlehem. I have no conscious memory of crossing paths with the real Christmas Story. None.
As I was diddling last night, Miss Ali did a digi freebie about "My Favorite Christmas Memory". I couldn't think of one. There are pictures of us girls, lined up with our personal Christmas stashes - posing like all was merry and bright but pictures can lie. I occured to me that my favorite Christmas have been since I have grown up and how I would love to share that with those two. I wanted to let them know that it all turns out alright. I want them to know that the end of Santa is ok. There is Something bigger coming. Have patience, it will take 20 or so years but then it will all make sense. It won't make the pain go away but most of it - you won't care about anymore. Really, I kid you not.
There will come a day when the One who will resque you, will come. This time, it is true. There will not be any disappointment at the end of this rainbow. Christmas will be more than stacking your presents in a pile to keep your sister out of them. There will come a day when you will see how it really is. There will be a Place for you to lay down your head and feel safe. The one who made you will make Himself known and that will be your merry and bright. As Gage says, WAIT for it....
It is well worth waiting for - This Story that is hard to believe yet easy to see. With the Story comes God's eyes that will help you every step of the way. Just keep walking. You'll see...
