I tend to be a spotlight person. I focus on one thing and everything else is pretty much a little fuzzy in the background. Whatever is screaming the loudest is where I will naturally go. On Monday, my focus was completely on remembering 911. No matter what I did that day, that focus was never far from my emotional sight. I am able to function just fine in the Real World but just have an overall sense of what my focus is and how it affects what I do.
I run my whole life pretty much the same way. I don't know if it is normal or not - I gave up on normal a long time ago when I realized most people don't think like I do - and have chosen to exchange normal for healthy. Ok, we won't go there now except to say that my one piece of Happy Chocolate a day rule is not going as well as I had hoped for. As of this morning, I am way into next week - focus...
Tomorrow my sister is having surgery it will be about Hospital Time and trying to be take care of her but today, it is about play. I haven't seen my babies all week and I am leaving soon for a shopping trip to Cabela's. No, I am not a hunting girl but I have a little four year old who has been begging all week for someone to take him and today, that is my focus. He doesn't ask for much - he is the middle child and knows that drill so we go on dates by ourselves and do things he likes to do and he is in awe of having someone's complete attention. You can see it on his face, the surprise of doing what he wants to do. It will be mommy, Miss M and nana today. He will be the only boy and we will stay at the Hunting Store as long as he wants. Until his focus wears out.
I am always aware while in the middle of a focus of the background. Just like Windows is always running in the background of my computer - there is always more than meets the proverbial eye. My background is Christ and my focus is being in the moment. The spotlight shines on the focus but my personal spotlight is always on Him. He is always present, always. I can't out run Him, or out think Him or out love Him. Not having to think about all the outs I can't do anyway, allows me to focus on what I can do. And today, I can make a little boy's day and I fully intend to...
