no bucket list...

I am not a bucket list person. There are a few things I would like to do but if I don't, I am ok with that. Ok, maybe not ok but, grown up about it.

I think being in the Moment is a better option. Always having this controlled list in your head doesn't give you much room for improve. On a whim, we headed to the drive -in movie last week. I don't think it was because summer is waning. It was just a chance to do something the kids had never done.

The truck was loaded up with chairs and blankets. Didn't know if we could bring food in (we could) so we bought popcorn there. Wanted to try the glazed popcorn but they could only pop one kind at a time and had to wait, which they estimated would be half way through the first show, before the glazed would be available. By then, we were busy swatting flies and wrapping the blankets a little tighter.

No bucket list for me...but if we ever got a shot at Disneyworld, I would be over the moon, good...

summer weary...

After a couple of months, especially this summer, the heat just takes it out of you. You have forgotten the snow, the boots, the ever present coat and can't imagine never experiencing them ever again. Tired of sweating, trying to take an evening walk and just plain ready, for a cool down.

Kids go back to school earlier and earlier. School should not start the same week as the State Fair in any state. They also should not expect to wear tank tops and shorts for the next 2 months. School starts after Labor Day, the following Monday to be exact. The crispness of fall is overwhelmingly, all around you. The first day of school outfit should not contain any kind of coat but a few weeks down the road, will require a jacket in the morning.

Part of the lushiness of fall, is being summer weary. We are so excited about the cool down, we don't even realize that in a few short weeks. when Halloween is here, we might be wearing a coat over our costumes. We humans are a fickle people, most of us must ease in, very few can stumble from one season to the next, as if it was one continuous life. We have to take it in pieces, it is too overwhelming to look at the Big Picture.

This guy didn't wake up the whole time my family and many others, walked around him. The talking of the crowd, he had obviously mastered, shutting it all out. He has learned after many years of working at the fair, you have to get it while you can. Great image to learn a good lesson.

The weather guy tells us, we are in for more of the same next week. More summer heat. Will try to keep my weariness down and try to soak it all up, while I can. Sounds like a good recipe for daily living. Tomorrow, here I come...

Wild week...

It has been one crazy, good week. Started with the state fair and Kutless concert on Monday, right into Gage's 11th birthday on Tuesday. Wednesday had a bit of a reprieve but Thursday and Friday are jamming as we spend time with Keaton while everybody else, went back to school. His turn is coming next week.

I love weeks like this. They remind you of how fast time is really going and it feels like you are making the most of every minute. The older I get, the less tolerant I am of wasting time. To me now, that looks like I am not appreciative of day ahead of me. I am not seeing the big picture and now, more than ever, I need to grab the Golden Ring everyday.

Today Pops, Keaton and I am headed downtown Boise. We will hit Whole Foods for lunch, hang out and see how the Trader Joe's construction is coming along. The day could not get better when you have a 14 year old along. He is our joy, our time together is precious.

A little R&R this weekend and one more day with the boy. Missing the other two but we will scoop them up soon and bring them with us.

Everyday is the time to say yes, go and do. Time for me to start. Happy Friday, go and do...

pops...

Sometimes, at the beginning of summer, your name got changed from Papa to Pops. At first, it took a while to catch on. It started with Keaton and then moved to Gage and Miss M. It wasn't just you but also the other Papa Steve. So both of you have been, officially renamed with little to no fanfare.

Not sure I have missed the name bullet. Grandma Sue and I may not be safe. safe but when Keaton answered the phone yesterday, my greeting was, Hey Girl! There was also a lot of Zalaine talk going on yesterday. It makes me laugh because for a long time, Zalaine was too hard for any of them to say.

Chance is inevitable and names are as fluid as anything else in our lives. The only time we have to use the name we have been given is in matters, legal. One could go most of the entire life known as Bubba and no one would question it. The first 20 years of my life, I was Nainie and to this day, if I hear it, I know within 10 people, who is calling me that.

Guess I better get use to Hey Girl, looks like it may be here for a while...

Happy Birthday Gage!

We hit week, running. With school starting on Thursday and one more birthday celebrations, we started with the Idaho Stat Fair on Monday and Tuesday, to celebrate one of my most favorite people. We wills tart early and stay late, much to do and with a kid like this, he just makes our day.

Gage, Pops and I could not be more proud of you. Your sense of humor, your wit, your sarcasm... reminds us of well, us. You are such a wonderful kid, full of all those things they always told us boys were made for and then some. When I pray for you, I always smile. God has made you into this delightful creature that we can all enjoy. I pray for your grandkids and the kind of man you will be to lead them. They are a lucky bunch, although your wife may have her hands full with you, she will be a keeper.

So, go have fun today. Will walk through the day with you and savor each moment. Pops and I love you to infinity and beyond, always have, always will. XO...

Sweet Child of Mine...

We would like God's ways to be like our ways, his judgments to be like our judgments. It is hard for us to understand that he lavishly gives enormous talents to people we would consider unworthy, that he chooses his artists with as calm a disregard of surface moral qualifications as he chooses his saintsMadeleine L Engle.

This one line changed my life. My God got bigger, my faith got stronger and my world changed and the skies opened up.

Bridge Over Troubled Water/, became a battle cry not a suicide mission. At a particularly bad season of life, (the essence of) Love Shack bought me back to corporate worship. Hard to believe.

Dusty Springfield, I Only Want To Be With You.
Barbra Streisand, Papa, Can You Hear Me?
Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes, I Had The Time Of My Life.
Bonnie Raitt, Something To Talk About.
Black Eyed Peas, I Gotta Feeling.
Whitney Houston, I Have Nothing.

And a favorite of mine. It is my girl's ringtone. I always know it is her, and always brings a smile. Guns and Roses, Sweet Child of MIne

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that
special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me
of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine



Better words for the Love of God? I think not....

collage...

Collage is not a word I would have applied to living life but I think I need to rethink it. Our lives are many, many different pieces that come and go, all fitting together in so kind of mish mash that forms, who we are. None of our pieces do we share with each other, even if there are similarities. Each experience is a brand of sorts on our person and all those experiences, define where we are going. Not who we are but our reaction to said experience. Wouldn't it be something if we look at them like we do a photo poster. 60 experiences that have crossed our path, that have made the mark and the poster because they left that mark, on our minds.

I knew when I did this print that one photo would be in color. The placement would be in the same general area but the day I submitted this to Persnickety Prints, it was the orange pumpkin in that position. The day I got the poster, I decided I would have moved it over one, to the left. That was a different day, a different mindset. Tried other colored photos, a flag, a fire truck, a tree but the pumpkin was the choice and still is.

I know the color represents Something, deep down but I don't know what or why. Whether it is a creative or a lesson placement. My favorite number is 3. It never occurred to me to have 3 photos of color, just one. Always, just one.

We look at our lives in segments, seasons but the reality is as far back as we can remember, the photos were taken. Whether we remember them or not. They are embedded, as most all music in jr high is. We couldn't erase it if we wanted to but Sometimes, we are able to forget. Not music but certainly memories.

I might do this 60 photo collage of my internal thoughts as an exercise, to understand myself better. I don't think there ever is a Time Up on learning. I want be a better wife, mother, nana and friend. I want to Love that God Loves me more than I could ever ask or imagine and remember to live like I believe it. So much to learn, time to get cracking...

Watching Eleanor Longden's, Ted piece on the voices in our heads, stirred up some feelings of pieces to the Me puzzle. While I have never heard audible voices, the sound of addiction is very similar. Anyone who has addiction issues can relate and, I am not talking about the perceived bad ones, but the ones that universally, rule our lives. I never thought about using the thoughts that say, Grab those cookies and keep eating. I never thought that voices could use their powers for good and were here to help, not hinder. She talks about really listening to what one is being told and see a deeper meaning. To think of the voices as warning or teaching, they have always been a negative to me. Not any more, I am going to start treating them with a bit of respect, and working toward what we all want, a healthy person who will continue to be human but can change and grow and heal. Wow.

Her Ted talk is well worth your time and might change your life, I feel it coming my way, can't wait to see what happens next...

you, me and them...

The family.
We were a strange little band of characters,
trudging through life sharing disease,
and toothpaste,
coveting one another's desserts,
hiding shampoo,
borrowing money,
locking each other out of our rooms,
inflicting pain and kissing it,
to heal it in the same instant,
loving,
laughing,
defending,
and trying to figure out the common thread,
that bound us all together. Erma Bombeck

sharing the Love...

Ok, it doesn't always look like this but their love of music certainly bridges the elongated gap. There is nothing quite like sharing a pair of earphones. Do you get the whole musical effect? No. Do you feel that rich, sound and deep bass? No. Are a set of headphones better than a single earpiece? of course, if the music is your goal and Sometimes, it is.

Sometimes, it isn't. I have shared many a earpiece at a basketball or soccer game. There is conversation going on while the music plays on. In one ear, you hear the new and the familiar. In the other, you share in the common experience. There is much to be said about the common experience. I could write a book about it, a big book.

What you give up, you get back ten-fold. You will have time later to pump up the volume but for this little piece of time, enjoy the sharing. Enjoy the Love...

believe...

We all believe in Something. You many or may not, call it God but make no mistake, you have a belief even if it is to not believe.

Saw 2 documentaries last night and they couldn't have appeared to be more different. Johnny Carson and Steve Jobs. Yet, their Stories are very similar. They both had ferocious tempers. When Joan Rivers made the choice to not tell Johnny Carson about her TV deal with Fox, he never spoke to her again. She tried to apologize by phone but he hung up on her. He had made her a permanent guest host and she very well might have gone on to host the Tonight Show but their entire relationship was over in a second.

The same Stories are told of Steve Jobs and his less than stellar ideas on how to treat people. It was said that Carl Sagan was a very good friend of Johnny. It would lead one to believe that you could imagine with a bit of accuracy where his belief system was. Steve Jobs was so sure that he could cure his pancreatic cancer with diet that it would be too late to get help when he decided that he could not.

Everybody believes in Something.

And you might as well be all in. Go big or go home. Give it everything you have got. After all, you believe it, right.

Doesn't matter what the circumstances are. Circumstances are fluid, they are always changing. Your belief doesn't change, it is your reaction to it that is the key to where your affections lie. Choose wisely, make sure that is your final answer and then, go. Go and see if what you have invested everything for, holds up. If it does not, keep looking, keep asking. Don't give up. Ever...

3 red cups and a dog...

Summer is 2/3 over. Hard to believe that school starts in less than a month. If you have walked into any retail store in the last few weeks, even if you don't have kids in school, you have probably fought or gave in to the urge to buy new underwear. Back to School will do that to you, forever. Yes, me and mine have already been down that road.

Yet, there is more summer to be had. The kids and gkids leave on a little vacation starting tomoroow and Papa and I are in charge of the granddog. We are also in charge of his mental well-being, one that we don't take lightly. This year, we add continuing education for Banjo and the shell game, that was started last week.

You remember the shell game? You put something under three shells, mix them up and your opponent has to figure out which shell holds the prize. As mommy and daddy were enjoying their anniversary time, we decided to see if Banjo could find the treat under red solo cups. I thought this might be You Tube worthy, landing him and the kids on Ellen and perhaps, great fame and fortune. I was wrong.

Dogs have a great sniffer and I thought Banjo would have no trouble picking the cup with the pepperoni under it. He seems to be more successful with cheese but it could just be that he rammed the cup into the baseboard, and then, grabbed it. This entertained us for a long time until I decided he might have had too many snacks due to our experiment. Our past attempts with too much food and Banjo is not pretty. Nobody wanted Banjo to sleep with them that night, enough said.

It is our experience that Banjo will go into a deep depression when his family leaves. He doesn't eat or sleep, and won't play. He sits on top of the couch, staring out the window or by the door, waiting for them to come home. We have come to accept that he will always be this way and our only goal is to keep him alive until his family gets back. We will try the shell game this time, hoping for a different outcome. Just a tiny bit of a rally would do. If not, a professional dog counseling whisperer may have to be called in, and he has his work cut out for him...

chiropracter...

He is a devout Christian, but does not use his faith to promote his business.

Despite this warning statement, I chose him as a place to start. Needed a new chiropractor, found him and thought, will give him a try. It has been a week and a half. He thinks he has found the problem, I am not too sure but will play along for a bit more.

We will have a conversation about this statement. I just can't let it go. I just can't.


I don't believe that one can separate faith from Real Life. With this statement, he has already promoted his business. He has even told you how much his faith means to him. It is a kind of advertising that makes me, walk away. He is a straight-forward guy. Tells you whatever pops in his mind which could bring problems of its own but faith, whatever it looks like on you, does affect your business, personal life and the way you deal with people. Faith can not be separated out and corralled. Not true faith, true faith always comes shining through. Always.

Dr D and I will have the talk sometime this week. I will tell him I chose him, despite his web site words. Don't be ashamed of your faith, let it come out naturally. don't define yourself by your narrow field, God is so much bigger than we are. Go with it...

under construction...

We all know the drill. As soon as the weather turns warm, they start tearing up the streets with hopefully, the equipment and know how, to make it better. This one by my house, appears to involve some kind of emergency. Like following the trail of a leak, this one got dug up, went around the corner, in no way that made any sense. When they found the problem, they were done. After a week of this, it appears, whatever it was, is repaired to its original state.

In the mean time, we all were gracious and spent the week taking turns, using the one lane available. Yes, I did try to take a shortcut but it was an epic fail. To avoid the construction completely and go around the whole thing was a price I was unwilling to pay so wait in line, was the option chosen.

We were all very civil as we waited our turn for the flagger to turn the sign from Stop to Slow. It was obvious to anyone paying attention that while we can pretty much agree on the definition of stop is, there is a lot of wiggle room on the meaning of, slow. It didn't appear or was it reported that any flaggers were hurt during this job but I find it hard to believe. Whatever their pay and retire package is, I am all for it. I wouldn't take their job for all the benefits in the world. Heat, orange vest and the general public, they deserve everything they get, and more.

One can't help but see the similarities to road construction and Real Life. Maybe we do have flaggers when we are under going personal construction.

Nothing to see here, Just keep moving and keep it slow. Maybe we will never know to what extent someone is looking out for us at great personal peril. I sure like to think so. So maybe next time you see someone who is going through a heavy deal, remember to Slow down. If you can help, do. If not, just keep going. Don't add to the confusion. Watch where you are suppose to go, go slowly and be on your way. Do unto others...

Bridal shower...

The instructions are given by best friend/hostess for the first game.

Write one memory of you and the bride, do not say your name.

Further instructions would include, don't sweat it. Something easy.

Immediately I had mine. It always comes to me quickly, it is the Blink theory by Malcolm Blackwell. Fits me to a tee. Basically those like me, process information instantly and come up with an answer. It is not always right, true, kind or just but it comes in an instant.

The bride has been in school in Portland for the last few years so my exposure to her has been hit and miss yet I still feel a bit of a connection. FB, info from her mom and others, you get the picture but in an instant I knew what my card would say.

You will always be Miss M to me... She guessed me instantly. When we have history with someone, it never really goes away and obviously can be recalled, in an instant. She connected almost everyone to their comments. We even learned about shenanigians she and her friends pulled in high school, never revealed until the shower. Why you would a small someone in a dryer and even turn if on, seemed like something that would be shared as an oops. I think it might have been.

Interestingly enough, the one comment she could not connect the dots to was the person with whom she has had the shortest history with, her almost new MIL. Like it or not, we run a tight ship in our memories and they take time to mature and then, recall in a Moment's Notice.

It was a beautiful shower. The food, the decorations, the laughs... It was a great time. Congrats M&M. May your memories be tight, may you travel light and hold on to each other. Love and be loved. Share, play, dream and bake. Wish you all the best, Miss M...XO

prayer...

Prayer is so fluid. There are guidelines but no way is right or wrong. I remember being told that you had to get up one hour early in the morning, before the day's activities. It was implied that any other way or time frame would be less effective. There are lessons on proper prayer positions, and how to start and finish. I use to read everything I could get my hands on about prayer and then tried so hard to do it, that way. These days, to me prayers looks and feels so different. None of the many things I have read are incorporated in my prayer life today. I go on a wing and a prayer and am as fluid as fluid can be.

I love, love night prayers. It is dark, and cool and the noises have all settled in for the night. I am left alone to pray or really worship, as I like, except when it goes off in another direction and I am all up for that. Last night's prayer was not new and I love this one. It isn't about anyone I know or may know. It is about everyone who breathed today. Young and old, rich or poor. Born in the USA or anywhere else. Big city, tiny village. Man, woman, boy or girl. Healthy or sick. Everyone who took a breath today. Everyone.

Those who said Thank you to You, bless them.

Those who cursed Your name, bless them

Those who lost a bit of their faith today, bless them.

Those who said Hello, as they said took their last breath, bless them.

Those who accepted Your Grace today, bless them.

Those who walked away again, after hearing Your Knock, bless them.

Those who are so lost, they can not hear, bless them.

Those who are cold, hungry and tired, bless them.

Those who took a breath today, bless them.

campless...

So Mommy and Gage left Monday afternoon and the rest of us had to fend for ourselves until Friday afternoon. There was some prearranged time where we had tutoring and swimming lessons but the rest of the time, we were free to fend for ourselves. You might imagine that it would be hard to temper time with a 8 and 14 year old but surprisingly enough, it was a non issue.

We hit the snocone and ice cream establishments, as needed. I was not responsible for 2 of the 3 ice creams portions on Wednesday. We tried to stay cool and out of trouble, both had their own issues but in the end, it was a wonderful week. Did it look like their regular week, of course not. Whenever you add or subtract people from any given situation, the whole view changes and we must change with it. We each gave 100% and it could not have gone better. I got to cook, they got to eat. Everyone did their chores and then some. There was kindness and sarcasm, at every turn. I got to see their personalities as they are growing into their own persons. I loved every minute of it.

I am always a bit misty for a day after one of these weeks. Tired but a good tired, life will slow down again and I will be ready to go another round. They are wonderful little creatures and I miss them so...Suck it up, Nancy...you know who you are...

Oh, the possibilities...

This is a gorgeous patch of lavender. It could be in the middle of a large field of flowers or it could be a 2 foot flower bed at Sonic.Beautiful photo of lavender. What we see isn't always what it is. The older I get the more I understand how fluid life is and how I need to be aware of what is possible way more than what is. What is, satisfies the now, the small snippets that calm or signal the storms and make us feel safe or that the sky is indeed, falling. We do not have the luxury of being more than one dimentional. That is our lot in life and try as we may, always will be. Being able to understand that there is more than we can see, brings in a whole different mind set which brings in different choices, which changes our lives. That is what we can control, to understand there is More...


Ok, it is Sonic. My view with a Route 44 Diet Coke. Standing by the trash can, loving the light and the colors.

Have Keaton and Morgan duty next week as momma and Gage go to summer camp. Ice cream for dinner, one night. See you in a week. Oh yeah.................................................................................

14...

14 years ago today, this guy came bouncing into our hearts and has given us more than we could ever have asked for. We could not be more proud of this boy, he is the kindest soul I know. His heart has no boundaries. His love of music, is one we share. His love for God is unmistakable. He is the best big brother, son and grandson anyone could ask for. You know how we feel about you, and it just gets bigger everyday.


Happy 14th Keaton, we love you to infinite and beyond.XO

part time...

What comes to mind when you here, part time? Job? These days, it seems a lot of jobs are part time. For a variety of reasons, there is a negative connotation associated with a part time job. Most of us are looking for a full time, with benefits jobs, this day and age, they are harder to come by. We are living in an age where part time is starting to be the new normal.

I don't know if this sigma is fair to part time. Maybe it isn't all doom and gloom. Except anywhere else you apply it, it just gets tougher. There is the impressions that one is not giving it, all one has. That we are holding back, not living up to our full potential. We wouldn't want part time pay or part time 401k anymore than we want part time parents or friends. We are either all in or, waiting to be all in. Living with part time until The Ideal, full time comes along.

So what happens to us as a society if part time does take over? Is it possible that there is a positive in there, anywhere? I don't have the answer just my personal bias that may or may not, be accurate. I am a all in or all out, kind of girl. Right or wrong, I am driven by passion and whether a novel, or the way the light hits on of my favorite faces, I am semi-crazy and committed. I am 100% in everything I do, no reason that part time could not work for me. Need to keep that in mind, as the world changes, I don't want to miss a thing...