Didn't realized that there would be a second week of this flu -like thing. When you can't keep anything down, your body goes into some kind of survival mode. Hard to think and even harder to remember what you already know. The bad seems worse and the good doesn't look all that good. When it takes all your energy to put one foot in front of the other, trying to figure out the things of life, seems to take a backseat.
We all go thru dry periods for an array of reasons, sometimes physical and sometimes, it seems just because. It feels like you are standing still which feels well, wrong. In our world, it seems that if we are not going forward, we must be going backwards. It it the same thing in the our God life, the perception that if we are not actively moving ahead, we are definitely headed downhill.
I believe there are times of standing still. Not moving in any direction. In a trance like state that gives us some room to just be. I remember all along time ago being told by a pastor not to fear these times. Just hold on to what you know, he said.
I heard some writer this week say they had found some journal letters that belonged to Mother Teresa whether she expressed severe doubt in the truth of the existence of God. I will rest in the belief that while she was having these very human doubts, she held on to what she knew to be true. Maybe she felt the weight of the world on her. Maybe she was tired. In a strange way, I am comforted by her weariness. Makes her more human which we all need to remember about ourselves and each other...
