the Huskies...

The first year, she was a cheerleader while the boys played basketball. And, she was a good one but her heart was in the game and there she msot certainly, does shine.

With year two, it becomes very obvious that this girl is here to play. She watches Gage as he moves down the court. He has taught her about defense, without a word between the two of them.

We don't always have to use our words. Sometimes, we are quiet when we should speak up. More often than not, we feel like we have to get out our 2000 woman words, out and early.

Not a lot of chit chat on the sidelines. The girls watch, learn and cheer. Maybe we Big Girls should follow suit. Instead of judging everyone's body, intentions or decision-making process, maybe we should cheer each other on, while using less words.

Thank you Miss M for another great life lesson. I love you, Girl...

You are my Wild...

Tara Whitney posted some photos of her kids and directed us to the YAMW site. Photographers taking photos of their kids. There was no definition given but I love the phrase and love the idea.

Maybe you have a wild child. Aren't by their very nature, all children, wild? Not just in spirit but in what they think, and how they do solve problems. They don't chop it up like we do. They usually have a simple idea of how to do anything and just do. Not alot of planning, just doing.

Some are wilder than others.
Some are just born that way.
Others, go through streaks.

You are my Wild.
I love the sound of that.
May it forever, be.

aim...

We all have a dog in this fight.

since the Newtown tragedy, we all have an opinion. We can all agree this should never have happened in our country butthat is where the agreement ends. How to keep another Newtown from happening is has become the hot topic and the way to solve it would line up to infinity and beyond.

I have my own ideas of why and how. Are they the answer, no. There is not just one answer but what scares me most is having both sides armed, and having even more people killed. I will stand by my belief that if there had been people in that Aurora theater that night that had guns, more innocent people would have been killed. You would have to be a trained sharp shooter to aim in a dark theater and not hit more than your intended target. These kinds of gunfights could not possible end well.

...The research on actual gunfights, the kind that happen not in a politian's head but in flurescent-lit stairwells or strip-mall restaurants around America, reveal something surprising. Winning a gunfight without shooting innocent people typically requires realistic, expensive training and a special kind of person, a fact that has been strangely absent in all the back and forth about assault-weapons ban and the Secoond Amendment. Time

That is my fear. Beyond even the crazies is the crossfire. I know women with concealed gun permits. I know lots of people are carrying out there in my state. I don't know that any of them take regular on going training to perfect their aim. One class, get gun and, wait.

In the NYC police department, for example, officers involved in gunfights typically hit their intended target only 18% of the time.

Time

And these are people who train all the time. What does that say about us, John Q Public whose training consist fo TV shows, video games and movies?

The author goes on to explain that the brain changes when involved in a sudden attack, The brain does not work the way we think it will. It appears that there is a tendency for the the brain to freeze when under a threat. Where is the training to change that reaction?

We will never, ever agree. Had a long conversation with a new person about this and we were about as far on everything as you can be. There was a little back and forth and I brought up my Aurora theory and she thought I was dead wrong. Wow. How far apart can we be from one another, farther than you think...

capture...

The news this weekend about Brianna is as good as it gets. Doctors think she will be home in a couple of weeks. She is her old self and more. Migraines are few, her nana says she is feisty. I will take feisty, any day.

The kids gave me the I Believe bracelet for my birthday last November. I wear 6 silicone bracelets, each one has a purpose. The I Believe one references Eph 2:8.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.Ephesians 2:8

Even though we have had a Team Brianna praying for this child, night and day. It is not our doing that has saved her. Many are loved and prayed for where the outcome isn't as bright as ours. It is a mystery that we can't explain, don't understand and is not our business to capture.

What we are to capture is the Love of God, knows no bounds. Has no limits,and can not be tamed.

It is what it is...

While she is not out of the woods, she is closer than she has been in the last 6 months. She is in for some tough days ahead. Maybe one of us is too. If that is the case, we will pray for you knowing that the outcome is up to God. No matter the outcome of any given situation, we know Someday, it will be perfectly clear. Until that day comes, it is what it is. Praise God for where Brianna is today, Praise God for the hope that is in each and every one of us...

cold...

There were a couple of days last week, that I got cold and stayed that way.

Monday and Tuesday, I remember them well.

The news said it hadn't been this cold, this long in over 20 years. For one of the very few times, I believe them.

Nothing I did, nothing I drank, nothing. Went to bed cold, couldn't sleep. The morning brought no relief. The cold had dug it's heels in and I was powerless, against it. Even the house could not wrap itself around this cold, it couldn't keep up. It was cold everywhere one went.

Yesterday when the high got up to 25, it felt downright, balmy. I noticed it during the night, was able to sleep a bit even though I was fully dressed. The hall didn't have that bitting artic blast. My body started to relax.

The forecast is calling for warmer temps. Unsure if we are out of the cold woods, I am only looking forward to 35 degrees with glee. As I lay trying to keep warm, I wondered about those who are living on the street. What does this night look like for them? For those who might not have made it through the night, may God bless them. To those who live on to fight another day, may God bless you. Really makes you wonder how Michigan and Minnesota ever get anyone to live there...

sisters...

While these two have never met, Someday they will. Sisters by choice, not by nature. They have a bond that only little girls can share.

Miss B will have limited visitation for the next year so it may be a while. But, it will happen. If I can be there,Wow. If I can't, I want to here all about it because it will be awesome...

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Not only are we having the coldest weather I can remember in a long while, our darling SIL had to fly to Canada for work. Yesterday when he arrived it was -47. While it makes what we are experiencing, darn near hot - we are miserable with the cold and without him.

Poppa and I try to help when he is gone. Homework, laundry, meals and reminding everybody that it is only a few days. As in all his trips when he is away, he checks in every night by Facetime and talks to each one. Asking about their day and telling them he loves them. It is his way of comforting his family and no one could ask for more.

Facetime may be on the single, best inventions ever. Long ago there were rumors and a few prototype photos with viewing capability but now, it is real and works like a charm.

We will all have to endure the next few days with all the bravery we can muster. Praying for daddy and hope he is home soon. In the meantime, we party on...

the Sooners...

Basketball has begun and the first game did not disappoint. I am not very sportsy. Having given birth to a girly girl, my exposure to sports has been very limited. But, when the boys came along, I caught up, quick and now, with Miss M playing rather than cheerleading, it is all on the line.

For Mr Sooner, it could not come more naturally. As I watch him run up and down the court, I understand the whole Air Jordan thing. Football is where his heart is but he gives it all up for basketball season and it makes for some great life lessons.

Not so much about the rules, I could care less if he stops and pivets but that part of the lesson. Just because you can do Something, doesn't always mean you should. Or that you will be given credit. It may even go against you. Even he lives better than I do inside the boundaries given to him. He made a fabulous catch, actually, stunning but it was out of bounds. I still gave him kudos. It was awesome.

He like me, needs to have boundaries. Some of us fight harder than most to learn that lesson. We see it, know we can do it yet... it doesn't counts or worse, has a penalty attached.

Live and learn until you crash and burn... Heard that this morning on the radio. Maybe we will always have to learn the hard way. Too bad, we couldn't learn it sooner rather than later...

Bottom feeders...

low lifes, whatever the term you want to use. When you hear these terms, somebody comes to mind.

Might be a distant relative or a friend of a friend. We don't really like to think of people this way but they make it very hard, not to. Choosing to not make a right choice and a history of not doing the right thing is their legacy and we are left deciding how they fit in our lives.

It is the toughest time to remember that Jesus loves them as much as he does us and politicians. We think of them as takers and if the truth be told, wouldn't accept anything they had to offer or give it much validity.

I have a butt load of them in my history, many more than any person should. More life lessons learned by what not to do than the exanple of the right thing to do. I have learned and hopefully, make better choices because of it. Hard to believe about the Jesus stuff, but we have to learn a lot of things that are tough to believe. This one makes sense, we just don't like it much...

black and white...

Wouldn't life be easier if we had referees following our every moves?
Making everything right 100% of the time?

Of course, not every violation would be caught and the whistle blown, the appropriate punishment given but it would be better than the free for all that life brings now. It would be confining but everyone would see it is not always, my fault. It would also be obvious, at least by the photos, that is isn't always about us.

But life is not fair, it is not black and white and mostly, it is not about us.

It is a hard lesson, one we have to learn over and over and over, again.

Truth be told, we probably wouldn't be as happy as one might imagine. There would still be unfairness. Missed calls or just wrongg calls, would still get our goats and we would still, complain.

We like it when the good guy wins but can't agree always or mostly, on who the good guy is. That is why in some areas of life, we need the black and whites to help us out but I gotta say, to have one around when DH and I got into those conversations where agreement is no where to be found, I would love to hear that black and white blow a whistle, point at WhatHisName and yell, Foul. Oh, how that would do we a world of good. Won't hold my breath waiting for it but a girl can dream, can't she?

piriformis syndrome...

It was exactly a year ago today. I knew what the pain was as soon as it came on. I had experienced the same thing 3 years early.

I knew it would last months, would require cold packs and back exercises. I was ready. But after four month, no relief. In fact, it got worse and the very worse, was yet to come. I gave up my beloved scrapbbooking and learn to lay on my side. Sitting was at a minimum and for many months, non existant. At the 6 month mark, it moved to unbearable.

So after an ER visit, four trips to the doctor, three to the chiroprator and $6000.00 in pending charges, I find myself on the first anniversary - contemplating all these things and still having pain. My saving grace has come in the form of Miss Shelly, my massage therapist and we are... working it out. Rolling on a tennis ball inbetween visits, I am finally able to see some results. The pain is now isolated yet constant.

If you have ever had acute physical pain, you know of what I speak. IT has been a time of tremedous personal growth, physical pain always gets your attention first. Interestingly enough, it came at a time that I can really relate to Miss Brianna and what she is going through. Anytime pain can bring you down, really down, it doesn't matter what causes it. You are more than ready to throw in the towel at any given moment, Just make it stop. You want relief and you want it now.

So Happy Anniversary PS! It has been quite a year and I hope however long we are together, the lesson is learned once and for all. Sorry you don't like the tennis ball, fight back all you want - I am on to you. Today is a good day and I can see clearly enough to thank you for this journey. The ebbs and flows of everyday life. Some days are better than others. Some are way worse, we can't wait for them to be over and see if the sunrise will bring something, anything new. Hope is our greatest asset, and today, I am ready to go, again...

Thick skin...

You don't live 61 years and not develop thick skin. yes, it is possible but that kind of life is a whole other post. For most of us, the experiences of life that occur, again and again, in the same yet different form, give us what we need to understand and adjust.

There are parts of my life that have calluses. Right or not, you couldn't penetrate through even with a jack hammer. I always tell my gkids and I mean it,

You are not going to hurt my feelings...

If they have something else to do or want to go with friends, I will never be offended by them making a that choice, and I mean it. I understand that they and their parents have lives of their own. That is the way it is suppose to be. I am responsible for my own entertainment and anybody who chooses to spend anytime with me, I am humbly grateful.

But, I am not covered in calluses. There are spots that are vunerable. None of us is an island and from time to time, something gets through where the skin is not as thick and we get our feelings hurt.

It is universal. Happens to all of us and usually, the person who was did the deed is, so not aware. The things that we think were fly bys turn out to be tramatic for our kids. It is those little things that we are completely unaware of, that hurt them or made them sad.

So one of my ideas is to promote the healing of all skin. To understand that hurt can not be totally eliminated. To work through those times and move on. In an ideal world, to grow a full body skin that was immune to the elements of weather, the ravages of disappoints and only let in the light and love. Let's try a Real Life version and see if we can't get close...

365...

Oh, The Places You'll Go...Dr Seuss

I have never been successful at doing a 365 project. Taking a photo everyday has put me into a state where I am desperately grabbing things at 10PM to fill in that empty spot. I tried a 52 project last year, thinking I could find a one photo, once a week, that tripped my trigger. Another thought process that was unsuccessful. This year may be different.

Miss Nancy has me thinking about my feet. I often take photos of my feet but the idea of taking a photo everyday to mark where I have been, is one that has just got my attention. Not because I feel like I have to but because I want to. We all take so many steps everyday, the idea of my feet telling a Story sounds like a keeper to me. Might have some duo photos, my feet and those we have hung out with. Thinking long and hard and have started the whole process. Whose knows where this may all lead...but I am willing to find out.

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. Here we go...

Help Thanks Wow...

In prayer, I see suffering bathed in light. In God, there is no darkness. I see God's light permeating them, soaking into them, guiding their feet... So I pray for people who are hurting, that they be filled with air and light. Air and light heal: they somehow get into those dark, musty places, like spiritual antibiotics...

A girl has the right to change her mind, or just add to it. I started the year with Anne Lamott's book, Help Thanks Wow, on my mind. I realized that the heart and soul were a part of that so my words for the year, are Help Thanks Wow, with heart and soul. That is more like it.

She reminds me that all prayers, fall into one of these catagories.

Help Thanks Wow.

Help me not to be such an ass.

How refreshing. There have been times that I have been stuck in Help. Needing a good butt kicking to get out and give Thanks and Wow, a chance. When I did, I was able to see beyond my little piece of the Puzzle.

Not sure how this will fit on a necklace. I will need to be reminded daily. I want to live here, it is the only thing that makes sense right now. Thanks Anne, look out 2013, I am coming for you...

snow day...

Had a pretty good idea that is might be a snow day but the morning made it official. We Facetimed the kids and Morgan said, her dad woke her up, and her alarm said 9:24 and she said, I am late for school! No worries today Princess, get ready to chill.

It is also DH first Snow Day. He said he doesn't remember having snow days as a kid, where school was canceled and there was never a snow day off work, so this is a whole new world for him too. He took the iPad outside to show the kids the new snow falling and watch the neighbor's kids playing in it.

So we are just hanging out, wondering if this constant new snow will bring another snow day tomorrow. Really, what would be the point of going back for just one day, let's make it a run of four days and try again next week!

Inside, warm and cozy. Not much could get me out today but it sure seems a shame to have the kids home and we are stuck here. We will each have to drink our hot chocolate apart and dream of warmer days. Thank goodness for Facetime. Who knew?

heart and soul...

I usually follow the crowd and pick a word to define the upcoming year. It is usually something I put little effort in because I can't compact my expectations in one word. This year, we are going to shake it up a bit. Not one word but three, heart and soul.

Yes, it is because of this photo. Miss M and Mr Matt playing the piano and just being. It was a lovely Moment, glad I got to share it with them. This 20 Something generation has captured my heart. They seem to be so creative and so full of life, maybe I just don't remember but I think they are different than we were.

Heart and soul, whatever this year brings, I want to be in. I want to be a part of it. I want to experience it all, the good and the bad. The heart and the soul of everyday life. The heart and soul of the wonderful things that are going to happen and the heart and soul, when the day and night both, have no light.

Heart and Soul... I fell in love with you, let's do this thing!

Happy New Year...

Still have Christmas 2012 on the brain. Maybe it is because of the glazed donuts, or maybe it has to do with my new Poloroid camera. Am beening purposefuly on what I want to document with those cute little business size photos. So far I have a photo of the kids on Christmas Day, complete with Miss M wearing a Santa hat and a chocolate glazed donut from Krispy Kreme. Not sure what the 2013 Poloroid book will look like but we are off to a good start.

Tomorrow marks the day of getting back to Real Life. Everybody is back in school and DH and I go back to everyday is a Vacation Day. Getting back to eating a bit better. Have read, Eat To Live, by Joel Fuhrman and looking at redefining how my diabetic diet. It seems overwhelming, have and will find out, how strong my addictive holds are. That is the scariest part. They have already let me know, in no uncertain terms, they are not going away without a fight are are armed and ready for battle.

The news about Miss Brianna the last week had been good. Looks like the transplant is finally starting to take effect. Her numbers are up, she is have less tummy issues. Already, 2013 is looking up.

I am excited for the days to come. New things to learn, new things to experience. Never in my lifetime has it been so easy to learn. The world is at our fingertips, we can go anywhere we want.

Here's to 2013.
May we become better people for being a part of her world.
Look forward to seeing more of you, thank you in advance...

glazed donuts...

While donuts have been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember, glazed donuts never made the cut. Ever.

Put chocolate on them, wouldn't matter a bit, glazed donuts might as well have been green jello donuts, never spotted on my life radar screen....Until a few weeks ago.

Now, I have been at Krispy Kremes a hundred times. Maybe more. Chocolate cake donuts, now the Red Velvet ones always seemed to get and keep my attention. If they are baking when you are there, they give you a free, hot glazed donut, I have always said, No thank you.

Not sure the chain of events but when to the kids house and they offered us some KK donuts. I looked in the box and there were several varieties of glazed donuts left. I almost closed the box but this time, I did not. I grabbed one expecting nothing and I was hooked. Cold, glazed donuts. I was hooked good.

In the next several days, we found oursleves back at Krispy Kremes. No accident, it was planned. This time Chocolate glazed, a new world just opened up to me. 61 years of denial, fell in love in less than 60 seconds. Only KK, all others pale and are inferior and will still be avoided at all costs.

Makes me wonder what else I am missing out on? This is why I think being a student, learning something everyday is where it is at. I heard a comedian today say now that he is 70, he has graduated from everything. He has learned all he need to know and he is closing the mind shop down.

I think he is missing it. Maybe a lot of its. Never close your mind, always be ready and you will not be disappointed. Life has enough disappoints, never stop looking for the silver lining. 2013, here we go...