no hunger or thirst...

I thought it seemed so a few days ago but today confirmed it. Apparently with sinus issues comes the loss of taste. Nothing tastes right. My Diet Coke seems to be flat and, without any flavor even my Route 44 Diet Cherry Coke from Sonic is failing me. Today both my breakfast and lunch could not be identified without sight. This could be one of the greatest diet aides every if someone could market it.

It feels very strange. I have no appetite except when my stomach growls, I realize is time to throw it a bone. It reminds me of times that I have no appetite for other things, even spiritual things. We all have dry times. Times when we feel all alone. Times when we are feeling like we are on top of things spiritually, is the easiest time to store up for the next barren time.

As I lay on the couch last night, I had one of my food daydreams. I don't have them as much as I use to but when I need a food fix, I imagine eating that food. I try to experience each bite and how it tastes. Last night I started with my favorite hamburger ever, The Steunberg in Caldwell and ended with fried chicken dipped in melted butter. I could taste the flavor and was in little girl pretend piggy heaven.

The same can be said for our spiritual life. When we can't taste or feel God - we can remember what it was like and how it will be again. Just because we feel a certain way, doesn't make it true. This is God talking to Mack about perception. From The Shack/WM Paul Young.

Don't ever think that what my son chose to do didn't cost us dearly. Love always leaves a significant mark," she stated softly and gently."We were there together".
Mack was surprised."At the cross? Now wait, I thought you left him - you know- "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" It was a scripture that had often haunted Mack in the Great Sadness.
You misunderstand the mystery there. Regardless of what he felt at the moment, I never left him."
How can you say that? You abandoned him just like you abandoned me!"
"Mackenzie, I never left him and I have never left you"
"That makes no sense to me, he snapped.
I know it doesn't, at least not yet. Will you at least consider this: When all you can see is your pain, perhaps you lose sight of me...

Whether you agree with the theology or not - and apparently there is a lot of disagreement, you can't disagree that God's ways are not our ways and when we try put God in our box with much authority, we are out of line. God is so much bigger and we have so much to learn. The bigger my God becomes, the bigger my heart and life get. The times with no thirst and hunger can be endured because I can't explain why. Why is bigger than me. Why won't get me anywhere. Why will be answered Someday.

In the meantime, I will enjoy this different part of the Journey and hope it might last for a while. Ice Cream doesn't sound good - impossible but true. Imagine how much more is impossible but true???