Christmas 2012...

Update on Team Brianna!!! The Bone Marrow Transplant is starting to take a toll on her... She is in constant pain and is nauseated all the time.... She will be spending Christmas in the hospital from Sylma via FB.

Sylma is in the trenches with Brianna. She has been there to help in any way she can. She is Brianna's mom, best friend. She has no children of her own so Brianna and her brother are like her very own. She is also becoming my new BFF.

Christmas 2012 will be rememebered as a hard one. With Brianna in the hospital, it almost feels not right to enjoy the season. It seems like I should be on Hospital Time, which if you have ever experienced it, has a time all to its own.

Then last week, the unthinkable. I am so much more aware of every holiday tradition that I do. Last night was Keaton's holiday concert. Before it even started, I took a photo of a blank stage. I imagined 20 little people and their 6 teachers, all in their holiday best, ready to sing their hearts out. There was also one more girl, she sang Amazing Grace and you could tell, she meant every word.

But, that was just in my mind. A pretty picture but no truth in it. The reality is that those 26 will not be at their family gatherings and the one little angel singing, will most likely not be singing much of anything this Christmas.

Go what you do, celebrate to the fullest. Mourn when you feel the need and let the tears fall. Let the tears fall...