My grown daughter and I had a conversation the other day that turned quite controversial pretty quickly. We each stated what we believed and it was apparent that we were not only Not going to agree but both of us were passionate about what we were feeling. I would not have it any other way. If nothing else, I want my daughter to stand up for what she believes, even if it is not what I think.I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the ability to think for themselves. We surely will not always agree with them and some of their thoughts might get them in trouble but that is part of the learning/growing up experience. I can tell her from experience how much trouble my thinking has got me into - more than I would like to admit but it sure beats my people-pleasing days.
May be hard for those of you who know me to imagine me being a people-pleaser. Probably not so hard for some of you who know me, how good I was at it. I took many years to learn to stand on my own and at times, I may have gone overboard but when you balance it with what I have gained, it is worth every penny.
It is a tough world out there and like the old saying goes, If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. For each of us, learning to be ourselves is not a cookie-cutter experience. For some, it will take more practice, more energy and more work. This Story changed my life...
Giants, Wizards or Dwarf
Being left in charge of about eighty children, seven to eight years old, while their parents were off doing parenty things, I mustered up my troops in the church social hall and explained the game, It's a large-scale version of Rock, Paper and Scissors and involves some intellectual decision making...
I yelled out:, "You have to decide now what you are - Giant, Wizard or Dwarf!"
While the groups huddled in frenzied, whispered consultation, a tug came across at my pants leg. A small child stands there looking up at me and asks in a small, concerned voice, "Where do the Mermaids stand?".
Where do the Mermaids stand???
A long pause, a very long pause. "Where do the Mermaids stand,"says I.
"Yes, You see, I am a Mermaid."
"There are no such things as Mermaids."
"Oh yes, I am one!"
She did not relate to being a Giant a Wizard or a Dwarf. She knew her catagory. Mermaid. And she was not about to leave the game or go over and stand at the wall where a loser would stand. She intended to participate, wherever Mermaids fit into the scheme of things. Without giving up her dignity or identity. She took it for granted that there was a place for Mermaids and that I would know just where...So we stood there, hand in hand, reviewing the troops of Wizard and Giants and Dwarfs as they troiled by in wild disarray.
It is not true, by the way, that mermaids do not exist. I know one at least personally. I have held her hand... Robert Fulgrum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.
Be yourself, it really is all you have that matters.
