This title has sat on my desk for a couple of days. When it came to mind, it seemed a little dark but I wrote it down and have been staring at it whenever I am at my computer.
I did this layout yesterday but couldn't understand how cute and dark would meet. Now it is starting to all come together.
The death of a dream... Jesus said we had to lose our lives to find them. He said we had to lose the dream that plays in each of our heads. The dream that if we lost a few pounds, were a little smarter or if our expectations could only be met, we would be lovable. The dream is ours not God's. We are the ones who are not able or willing to see how lovable we are. I am 100% certain that if in this life, we are interested in getting pass playing christian, we need to see ourselves the way God sees us. He loves us as we are not as we should be.
I gotta tell you, this does not come natural. I think there is a part of us that thinks loving and trusting God should be a natural process and if it isn't, we are doing something wrong. We are not interested in the death of our dream, what we think it would take to be lovable - it is going to take an enormous amount of work to undo that thinking.
It starts with accepting ourselves just as we are.
It starts with accepting if it is good enough for Jesus, it is good enough for me.
It starts with accepting the death of a dream.
I don't know what this will look like Down The Road, I only know what it looks like now and the work that it will involve. I think I'm ready to start. It will mean going against my flow, and forgetting everything that is comfortable and safe but I am going to hold his Hand and keep walking. I'm a little apprehensive but I also know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Happy Friday.
