family...
See, this and being snowed in is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. Yesterday I started wondering about Facebook and my family. My dad had two brothers and I sister. One brother lived in Idaho, the other brother and sister in California. I knew my uncle in California had passed away because his BIL came to our sale, and I got to ask some questions. He is a wonderful man, had a wonderful career with the ISP and managed to escape his own family's funk. We don't see each other, in fact he didn't even know where I lived - it was just a chance meeting. Anyhow,I found out about the passing of my uncle and the passing of my Idaho uncle's wife. There are so many reasons we are not close and crazy is the lowest one on the totem pole but none of that stopped me yesterday when I decided to see if any any of my cousins were on FB.
I really wanted to find my Idaho cousin. I had some contact with my uncle 10 years ago then nothing and when I tried to find him, all info was gone. I knew JoDean Faith would know and I knew with a name like that, either she was there or not.
She was not. Either were my California aunt's kids but I did find 2 of my deceased uncles kids. This was the uncle I spent many years with. It was this uncle who took my sister and I in when my dad was quarantined with suspected TB. I loved him like a father. Unfortunately he was crazy and I know the life his kids have lived because I lived it 15 years before they did. I lived with my uncle and aunt with Don was born and took care of him like he was mine. I was 15 and crazy about kids. He was a doll. The last time I saw him was almost 30 years ago and by then the family was completely stark-raving mad. To descibe those years and tell you one of the middle scary Stories was my dad, his girlfriend and my uncle and his family moving back here. After several months of living with me, and trying to start a junk business - my dad's girlfriend freaked out at a local 7-11, took off all her clothes and ordered the police out of the store. There was more but you get the idea.
So I get on FB and find my cousins Don and Sebastian. This is Don's profile picture, Sebastian's was artistic. Hard to believe but I didn't immediately send a friend invite. I sat there and stared at the screen for a long time. I walked away, came back and stared some more, Still not able to send an email, asking are you my cousin? He has my uncle's face, I know it is him - makes it harder.
Through out the evening, I went back and stared more. I am somewhat ashamed to say if he had been in a three piece suit and said he was an accountant, I would have felt no hesitation to send an invite. He is 43 or 44 years old. The ring in his nose rivals one of a huge coffee cup. Along with that and the way he was raised, I don't want to know anything that bad. I am not proud of the way I feel but for now, it is what it is.
In the light of Today, I still feel the same. Let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes, the answer is no...