Henri Nouwen wrote in “The Way of the Heart”…
“In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding: no friends to talk with, no telephones calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me - naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken-nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me want to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something.”
I never understood Andy Warhol's art nor appreciated it when I was younger. Not sure I do much more now but it is instantly recognizable to me. His familiar 9 block style with the wild colors and sketchy outlines, tells you it is classic Warhol. There is a fun little site, BigHugeLabs that will turn any photo in to your own Warhol experience. It is fun - nothing I would want a steady diet of. Loud, in your face and too much repetition for my taste but within each of us, there is a Warhol in each of us.
Something that keeps us loud and distracted. Something, like Henry Nouwin says, keep us from getting rid of our scaffolding. Good way to put it. Like putting your hands over your ears while yelling, LA LA LA, very loudly to not hear what is going on around you. The distraction becomes the familiar and the comfortable. The silence, in turn, becomes the enemy.
DH had to go back to work last night and I couldn't sleep so I waited up until he got home at 230AM. When the alarm clock goes off at 6, no one is ready to commit. There are no thoughts of prayer time - sleeping time is all that goes through your head and to get back to that sleeping time, I have to have noise. The TV has to be on for me to get to sleep. Isn't that strange?
Yesterday was a Warhol Day. Wnet to lunch at the Brick with DD, just us, then off to Costco. A time we are Big People and talk about our little people. As I catch up with her, there will be colorful Stories about my babies that will make me giggle. Something Miss M said, something Gage did or a question that Keaton asked. We will live vicariously thru them for a few moments as we each try to remember our childhood as we live through theirs.
And Sometime later that day, I shut down for a few and let myself be. Be quiet and be in the moment. Like all things we choose to do, it takes practice. Over and over because we all are thick-skulled, until it is as natural as breathing. The over and over might look different each time but it's great practice. It was a perfect day...
