creature of habit...

I am a creature of habit, a student of the same. Little changes throw me off and make me realign. Not crazy about little change.

The UHaul truck in front of the neighbor's house is not a good sign. Someone/s are moving on and another is being left behind. Whether a permanent move or not, will have to wait and see. For now, it makes me sad, imagine how they feel. It is a big change for them, a little one for me.

Not to see a certain someone and their work on your favorite digi site, also brings unwanted change. I will miss her presence, it will not be the same. It is a little change for me, a big one for her.

A strange weekend, filled with things I have no control over. We always worry about the Big Changes when maybe, just maybe the little ones might give us some insight in how to handle them all. That is my prayer, and with blessings for all those who are dealing with the Big Changes...

boys and girls...

It is always this way with our family. The boys stand and the girls, sit. Sports, birthday parties, and anytime at a park function.

Not sure if this is every one's experience but imagine that we can all agree that boys and girls are different. With school starting right around the corner, the shopping of clothes is hot and heavy in our neck of the woods. A late vacation is pressing the issue even more.

Miss M has her ideas about what one wears in first grade and has a closet to prove it. The boys have their own ideas too but only interested in shirts and pants. They have little interest in spend hours at The Children's Place are extremely thankful that there is a Best Buy, next door.

Keaton spent last week at a writing camp. Everyday last week, his team would head Downtown, exploring everything from a haunted building, the Basque museum and the local coffee shop. We were invited to an outdoor reading of each writer's choice on Friday in 102 degree heat. We were in the shade, the writers in the sun. The girls wrote of their mothers and how they shaped and uplifted their lives .2 of the girls read poems of quiet desperation, truly. The boys, not so much. Keaton wrote about Mars and how we would probably want to stay on earth. It was funny and though provoking. He wrote a delightful piece on Tully's coffee shop which was equally inspiring. They all learned about 6 word Stories, metaphors and similies and I dare say, their lives have been changed whether they be a girl or boy.

Although the changes have come steadily, this is the time they are becoming aware of each other. Boys and girls start to see Something Different and stat to have different feelings. We all travel this Road and this is wear we start to learn to appreciate each other and the ways we are not the same. Learn it now, boys and girls. It will go a long ways to helping you understand life. Best of luck to both camps!

working...

Mom and dad don't believe me but I think working for your money is the best.Gage.

I think I believe him. This is the child that lives in a wonderful world of his own where facts aren't needed if he has even heard of a subject.

This is his first lawn mowing by himself gig. Not yet allowed to use the mower with an engine, when poppa and I found this almost brand new push mower, Gage is who we thought of first. The lady selling it bought it for exercise but said it was too hard. We, on the other hand, are having a ball.

Gage had to work for his money, really work. The idea is for him to cover some ground and big brother will come behind with the big finish. Think this is going to work out nicely. Keaton has certainly learned more about the value of a dollar and now has 3 yards to mow each week. Gage has had a hard time finding Something he could earn money at. I have been asked by Miss M and Gage, not to clean my house...except maybe for the bathrooms so they could have a chance to earn some money too. Now, I have to find something for Miss M.

Yesterday Gage says, Thanks for the five dollar bill, it is working out nicely. Not sure what that means. He may be considering trying to buy Oregon because he likes the smell or any other ordinary idea that pops in his head, For now, the mower is his way to financial well being and for me and the summer of 2011, that is good enough for us...

self inflicted...

A 63-year-old California man was recovering in the hospital on Tuesday after trying to fix a hernia in his stomach with a six-inch butter knife, police said.

The man's wife called police to say her husband was sick and tired of waiting to get surgery for his rupture and decided to take matters into his own hands on Sunday evening, Glendale Police Sgt. Tom Lorenz told msnbc.com.

When officers arrived at the couple's apartment, they discovered the man, naked and sprawled out on a lawnchair, with a butter knife protruding from his abdomen, Lorenz said. The man was cooperative and even pulled out the knife when asked, he said.

"As an officer, we are told that no call will be the same and to always expect the worst — from the dumbest thing in the world to carnage," said Lorenz, adding. "This falls somewhere in between."/MSNBC


This would have seemed weirder to me a few years ago but about to enter the world of the uninsured, has me seeing this form a different perspective. Crazy, maybe. A steak knife would have made more sense, a butter knife will only slow down the process. That is the thing that seems crazy, and the loudest.

Got word this afternoon that a world Olympian from our area took his own life Monday night. Had not heard much from him but a DUI Friday night, put in him back in the spotlight, for all the wrong reasons. We will never know why someone takes their own life. Even a note doesn't tell the whole Story. I experienced four funerals in a row where the deceased had taken their own life, it is just Something we won't understand this side of heaven.

There are many ways to self inflict ourselves. Imagine most if them would be seen as a negative but there is no reason we can't own the good things we do to ourselves. It is just that those never make the news. Seeing life in a positive way and attaching yourself to that will most likely never be seen by anyone by ourselves. Go ahead and do some good self inflicting, whether anyone is watching or not... Just for us.

choices...

Very conscious choice Z. was my good friend's reply to my FB posting of living in the Moment. She does it as perfectly as any human I have ever met. As the weekend unfolded, the death of Amy Winehouse and the terrible shooting in Norway, became a part of our Moment, like it or not.

Someone said today that Amy Winehouse was known as much for her addiction as her music. She has joined the 27 Club, whose members included Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones and Jim Hendrix. I did not know her music and when I heard the news, I had the same thought as Amy's mother, it was just a matter of time.

76 people gunned down in cold blood. Acting as a policeman, encouraging people to come out where they would be safe and then, shooting them one after another. A choice was made and then carried out. This didn't happen in a blink of an eye. This is not the work of a insane man.

We are only as good as our last choice... I wrote this many years ago and can't remember exactly in what context but today, it reminds me that, just as Miss L so eloquently stated, when we choose - it is a conscious choice.

Could either of these people been stopped from doing what they did? No
Is this always the outcome? No
Do we really always have a choice? The real truth is, yes.

Snapped this couple a few weeks ago, talking with the homeless man at the Mall. Imagined they were trying to help him and it warmed the cockles of my little heart. Imagine my surprise when this weekend, the same couple were sharing the corner with him, signs and all.

We would like to think that we don't. We would like to think that when this stuff happens, they had no choice. That is how we can wrap our head around it, how we explain it to ourselves because we are not able to understand with our heads or hearts how some of these choices are made and maybe, closer to home - are we next? We are only as good as our last concious choice, make it count...

For Annie...

Loved talking to you tonight. We have had a wild and crazy life, haven't we?

Here are some recent photos of the fam. If you need a distraction in your life, the internet is definitely the way to go, ask Terri! XO me

RIP Borders...

Didn't plan it but found myself at Borders on the first day of their Going Out of Business sale. Needed a journal, and were close to the mall so we followed the crowd into the mall. The coffee shop was already closed and with the yellow GOB signs everywhere, it was obvious that this was really going to happen.

Unlike newspapers, seeing a bookstore close makes me sad. I understand that the world is moving toward ebooks but in my heart of hearts, expected paper books to be around for a long time. They say that Borders didn't get on the ereader bandwagon fast enough. Amazon, Barnes an dNoble saw the handwriting on the wall and moved quickly, Borders did not.

As we headed for the journal section, the graffiti on the shelves was up front and personal. Scribbled on every square piece of metal shelving that didn't have a book, it looked like every high school yearbook I have ever seen. Could have understood it if it had to do with the loss of reading or the love of books but this was names, phone numbers and non-sensical words.

Borders, we will miss you. Hope all your employees find new employment soon. RIP.

privilege...

Women have to look beyond the concept that beauty is only skin deep. Our society has become obsessed with beauty and youth. I work hard to empower my clients to remember that aging is a privilege and the natural course of events, we are stronger and more dynamic with the life we have led at 40 than we were at 20 and there is immense beauty in that/ Molly Stern.

I marveled at these words by a celebrity make up artist. Aging is a privilege. Read it again, aging is a privilege. Have you ever thought of it that way? I hadn't and as with many other privileges, fall short of recognizing them.

Privilege
A peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor; a right or immunity not enjoyed by others or by all; special enjoyment of a good, or exemption from an evil or burden; a prerogative; advantage; franchise; preferential treatment

That means aging is a gift. Not given to all, not enjoyed by others or all. When you think of it in those terms, whining about getting old seems pretty petty. This summer I have purposefully started my day with gratitude for a chance at another day. It has changed my attitude in ways I never could have imagined.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

None of know who or why.
None of us have tomorrow in our back pockets.
None of us have more than right now.

I have been whining about my 60th birthday. I have not been thankful for hopefully, reaching this milestone. This stops now. From this day forward, every day will be considered a privilege and will be treated as such. Funny how a few words can change your life, thank you...

relax...

One of the important things in life is knowing, how to relax. I know it is popular to fill every waking Moment with some kind of activity but if the true is told - that is not the way you want to go, unless it is for a very short run, no matter what your circumstances.

I think relax is seen as lazy. Maybe relax should not be a noun but a verb. Whatever you want to call it, the idea of slowing down, and taking time for oneself's may go against the current and it may be one that you have to stand firm and just make it happen.

Went to see the Decembrists last night with my girl. Five hours of watching people and listening to fab music. The young woman dressed in the Spiderman costume was a bonus. The dancing geriatric crowd, showed up in force. You could justify Doing Something instead of sitting in a lawn chair out in the sun with speakers blaring but not sure that is where the greatest benefit lies.

Sometimes Doing Nothing is really doing something, in disguise. Don't be fooled, knowing the difference can make all the difference...

men...

Last Friday, I stopped at Paul's to get some donuts before going yard saling. It was still early and the store was filled with men. They were lined up to get donuts but when I went to check out, there were five of them in front of me. With only one checkout person, there was nothing to do but wait.

I have this theory about men and standing in line behind them. It is not positive. As I stood there wishing that Someone should grab a mike and call for back up which the lone lady cashier never did do, I hoped my iconic notion was archaic. In that split second, I imagined that men had evolved over the years and that my theory would go right out the front door. As I continued to stand there, it was harder to be chipper and upbeat.

I should also tell you that each man only had one item. The first man didn't even get his walled out of his back pocket until the nice cashier lady gave him is lone item in a small plastic bag. EVERYONE KNOWS you get your wallet out way sooner. There is check out etiquette but somehow, this guy had never got the memo. My eyes are starting to roll back in my head, hope it is not too obvious. Man 2 and 3 take equally as long but that is because they are chatting it up with the pretty lady. I don't even remember Man 4 and 5. I had completely checked out by then to save what daily sanity I had left.

As I relayed this Story to the nice, older salesperson at JC Penney's today, she wholeheartedly agreed. She said men can't multi task. I told her I would be happy with just a single task. She thanked me for the conversation, said it made her day.

Men, we love ya but you are killing us. A slow, painful death. Swell plan but we are catching on and it has already been proved that we are better in the long haul. Good luck!

hip, insta and all the other matics...

And as I import our pictures, from both Travis and me, I notice the percentage shifting each month. More and more iPhone photos, fewer and fewer images taken with the DSLR.

And yet I wonder: Will we one day regret this? Will I look back at this time in my life and wish I had more pictures that showed the scenes from my life realistically, rather than transformed into some ethereal, filtered version of my life? Will we all collectively look back at this trend the way we now look at the days of cutting photos into stars, hearts, and other cutesy, outdated shapes in scrapbooking?

Trends scare me. Because they depart as quickly as they arrived, and if you embrace the wrong one too strongly, you end up looking foolish. Angie Lucas.

Angie blogged what I have been thinking for some time. Years from now, will a photobook filled with unfocused, over filtered, sometime unrecognizable photos - seem like a great idea?

While the matics I take are solely on my iPad, I have saved none. I have saved many photos after using some of my favorite photo apps. There are some killers out there and more coming, everyday. Loving the photobooth ones and with a quick edit, you can get some nice saves. She goes on to say,

I tend to value the real. The authentic.

I hear ya Girl.
I want every photo to have the best shot at being loved.
I want every photo to tell an easy to understand, Story.

It is same for Real Life. You have to decided - you can't do everything. I imagine that TMobile ever starts carrying the iPhone, I will load it with the matics but you can be sure, there will always, always be a G-Something in my purse. Compromise is in the eye of the beholder...

paying attention...

So... I am in the return line at Costco and this nice CS 30 ish woman starts doing the paperwork and Something about the receipt made her remark to me, You are very lucky. You should buy a lottery ticket. I smiled like we all do. I have never bought a lottery ticket, ever. Something about losing a lot of money in high school when going to the race track with uncle who assured me, it was a done deal.

She finished the return and for a second time, told me to buy a lottery ticket today. And then she stopped, looked right at me and said, buy it from a gas station off the freeway. She said she didn't know why she she gave me those precise instructions. I knew at that Moment, for whatever reason, I would be buying my first lottery ticket ever, in a few minutes. We got on the freeway and got off at the first exit because there was a gas station, right there. Went in, asked how much a ticket costs - $1, I was told. Grabbed some drinks and off we went, about the rest of our day.

The ticket is on my bulletin board now. Must say, it made for some great conversations this afternoon. DH and I were on the same page on some things. Give the house away to someone, trusts for the gk and a nice cash payment for the ladies at Costco and Jackson's.

I don't expect to win the lottery, whenever they pick the numbers. I expect that this was just practice to see if I was paying attention. While winning anything would be fabulous, the idea of paying attention means as much if not more. The more one practices living in the Moment, the more one is aware. Paying attention may be the best gift you can give yourself. Buying your lottery ticket at 59 3/4 is an adventure I wouldn't have missed for the world!

teaching...

As we were yard saling last Friday, a Story unfolded from the kids. As told from the backseat, they shared the account, not realizing the extent of what they had done. A teaching Moment from a 12, 8 and 6 year old. A lesson that could be taught by anyone but they owned it and took the responsibility. We each have these Moments. Hopefully on some level, we do what they did.

Their daddy has been friends with A since they were in second grade. Whenever there is a kids birthday to celebrate, they are there for each other. Our three and their two. A boy who is 2 weeks younger than Keaton and a girl a few months older than Gage. Somehow the subject of saying I love you and hugging and kissing your siblings came up within the Circle of 5 and our three were flabbergasted that this brother and sister team had never hugged, or gave kisses or said I love you. they proceeded to show them how and then when the boy was still not on the same page, held him down so his sister could try her new-found Love.

Realizing that some people are just more affectionate than others, the truth is if showing Love comes difficult to you - you have some learning to do. It doesn't mean you just aren't and therefore, don't - it means you may have to work doubly hard to get the same result. Just like the kid to whom math is an easy A and the one who struggles to make a C. My eyes teared up as I listened to them tell the Story from their point of view. Gage is probably the least affectionate of the three but still gave his sister a hug and kiss last night before she headed home with us for a sleepover.

Never underestimate the power of a hug, kiss or attaboy. Jesus said a little child will lead them. I believe that power is alive and well, I would stake my life on it...

Crossroads...

In Career World, crossroads don't happen very often. Should I go to college? Which one? Should I quit this job? Where should I apply...

In Project World, on the other hand, every day offers a choice that could change things. Should you start a new project? Organize a conference? Open a new channel of social media? Quit something you're doing right now to make time for something else?

It's easy to get stressed and excited about the infrequent crossroads. It's just as easy to ignore the daily opportunities you have to change everything. Seth Godin

In my World, I think the daily opportunities are not as easy to ignore. Ok, maybe those days of Headaches or Heartaches - when it takes everything you have to just keep going but mostly, I'm all about the Daily.

I remember Career World. I was very good in it. I was a Pain to those around me and to those I reported to, a dream come true. A bulldog that did not let a penny go unless it had been accounted for. I dare to say that most of my working days, I could have been Employee of the Month, every day. Not bragging but the feedback I have gotten after a 25 year career.

Did I love working? 99.9% of the time, no.
Was I aware of anything but the job? 99.9% of the time, no.
When the Crossroads came, was I aware? 99.9% of the time, no.

Project World has been a whole new experience. Besides learning to live in the Moment, which I believe we learn everyday our lives, I have found a creative side I never knew and would argue vehemently even existing. There are more Crossroads than I ever imagined but if I don't see them, they go unnoticed and poof, they are gone.

When the Crossroads came, was I aware? 99.9% of the time, no. What bothers me is what did I miss? How would my life look now if I had been aware? The true is it doesn't matter. The truth is today is what I have and the Crossroads I have to deal with are here and now. The question is, whether for you or me, what are we going to do about them?...

fracture...

I come from a crazy family. There are cousins, multiple aunts and a family that just doesn't know each other. From what I so know, most of the cousins had a lifestyle similar to mine so survival was about all they could handle. There was one cousin, my uncles first wife who I remember spending a lot of time with. It is where someone pointed out Frank Sinatra, sitting a the bar in the family restaurant in Palm Springs but I had no interest as we were on the way to the kitchen to pick our dinner for that night.

Facebook. In the last six months, I have searched for a few cousins. Have found a few but after much though, decided not to go down that rabbit roll. Influenced by their FB page, ok, scared by their page. Sometimes is it time to just move on.

Last night, my first cousin came to mind. She has an unusual first and middle name but FB found her in a nano second. As I looked at her photos, saw how happy she was and the lack of our family name, I did not send a friend request. I couldn't. Her mother is still alive and she was a fabulous aunt, I would have like to let her know that I appreciated everything she did for my sister and me but not sure, that would be best for her.

But... just because you can doesn't mean you should. I don't remember how the marriage ended and we never saw either cousin or aunt again. There were rumors that Grandma got to visit and sent gifts for SS birthday and Christmas. Maybe she deson't remember her day, surely not us and opening up that can of worms is just not right. I got to see her happy. beautiful smiling face. She is so beautiful. She looks like her dad. I hope she and her mother made a new life and have been very happy. Sometimes, love means never having to say, a word...

fan or follower...

Another branch would include Like, as on Facebook. We all have degrees of enthusiasm for most everything in our lives. What separates the men from the boys analogy is how much Like. Are you a casual observer, a fan or a follower? What determines which camp you are in and what does moving from camp to camp. look like in one's life.

Good question. I have no answer, just more questions. Not a big fan of liking anything on FB because what does it really mean? I am either trying to win Something and being a fan literally means, I pushed a single button in an internet page. There is no true love or even, like. There is no true relationship. No commitment. No anything.

Being a fan. Is that a step up? What is the relationship when you are a fan? Do you wear the fan hat or tshirt? Have you even ever met the one you fan? What does being a fan, mean?

Follower. Are fan and follower the same? I am just asking. For me, to live in the Moment is to be fully involved in where you find yourself. Could I go from fan to follower and from follower to fan? Going to do some research. Ever notice Somedays, it is all about the questions?

you're welcome...

In talking to a younger, well dressed woman up at Sumpter, she shared her DIY pedicure recipe with me. Not sure how it came up but her enthusiasm was contagious and I decided to give it a try. Not one to usually try strange things except for that one time, I did try to paint a couch(a Story for another day). Duct tape on your heels, and overnight with socks on would leave me with smooth as a baby's behind, feet.

Gave myself a nice little peppermint-foot bath and with freshly cleaned and filed heels, I applied the tape, put on the socks and waited for 24 hours to pass. Must admit the Duct tape felt pretty good and I interpreted that to mean, it was working. Next morning, I ripped off the tape. This produced a few tense Moments and a bit of tape pain. When I went to feel my newly - baby butt smooth heels, the disappointment on my face was even evident to me. They were no smoother and now, they felt a bit sticky from the tape residue. I felt a bit disappointed, but realizing that I really didn't have much to lose, it was worth a try. Sometimes, you just have to go for it. If it had of worked, imagine how cool that would be. Wish I could have reported for all of you to go share this with the world but instead, you can't share this with the world - Move on, nothing to see here...

focus...

If you click on the flower picture, it won't take long to see that being able to change your focus after you take a picture, is a big deal. Lytro has my attention and email address. Haven't see it nor know how much it will cost although they say it will be affordable. Imagine never having to imagine.

Now, imagine what would happened if we could change the focus of our lives? With one click, we could move an issue, event or thought - to back of our minds. Here today, gone tomorrow, in an instant. NO more obsessing, no more anything.

But, we can't. Or if we do, we will have to work at it. always. No easy fix from Lytro or anyone else. We are stuck, Being human means it will always, always be about manual focus. We will always have to do the hard work and hopefully, will get better and faster at shifting the focus when we need to. We will have to enjoy the creative focus through Lytro and those who will follow. Just like other areas of our lives, using the wrong focus to live one's life can be counter-productive and even, life threatening. Knowing how to tell the difference will make all the difference in the world...

acceptance...

In talking about expectations, not sure you can get around not talking about acceptance. Not sure if acceptance comes before or after throwing away the expectations. Maybe there is a Place for them at each end.

Acceptance is sometimes seen as a waving of the white flag, admitting defeat, a giving up of sorts. It is seen with a yellow stripe painted down its back. I don't see it that way, I think it is a grown up, mature thing to do. Not a bad thing and quite possibly, a very good thing.

It is part of our journey, a big part. As we move from season to season in our lives, things change, people change, our lives do not, stay the same. If they do, we are doing Something very,very wrong.

Whether hopes, dreams, people or outcomes, when it time to move forward, acceptance moves in and will help with the transition. To the next thing, to the next leg of the journey. Think of it as an old friend, you get to see every so often. If you can change your perspective from a negative to a positive, there is only one way to see it for what it is. A win-win...

the Big Picture...

Picture all the expectations you have for yourself, your life, your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world. Take them from inside you, and toss them in the ocean. A river or lake will also do.

What happens to them? They float. They’re carried around by waves. The current takes them out, and they drift away. Let them be washed away by the cleansing waters, and let them go.

Now, live your life without them.

What’s a life without expectations like? It means you accept reality as it is, without expectations, without trying to force people into the containers you have for them, seeing things as they are. It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed or frustrated or angry — or if you are, you accept it, and then let it go.Zen Habits

Me and a million of my human colleagues watched this afternoon as the case we had been following for three years ended, with a not guilty verdict. A mother who admits he daughter died and that evening, she is seen on video, renting movies and acting completely normal by the boyfriend that was with her. The mother who didn't report her daughter missing for 31 days before her mother dragged her out of boyfriend's home, demanding to see her granddaughter. The mother who no matter what a jury of her peers have decided, will have to account to the One who gave her life of her actions, Someday.

Obviously, I am part of Team SheDidIt. Never able to imagine that she would be completely set free, that she would HAVE to be found of guilty of a lesser charge at the very minimum. Why all the emotion? Women don't like women who hurt their children. Those of us who had mothers like Casey Anthony, even less so. We have a hard time wrapping our brains around that concept even though it is nothing new. To be able to give life and feel the right to take it away, doesn't make sense to most of us. It never will.

I had read this quote last week and I didn't know what it meant until I heard the words, Not Guilty today. No instant gratification today. Today is about, the Big Picture. Somedays are just like that...

Happy 4th of July...

For all the reasons that you know and love. For those who gave their lives that we have the freedoms we enjoy every day....