We called ourselves a couple after we get married for a reason. It is not just about who does the dishes and who takes out the trash. These days the momma is out working her tail off during the day whether by choice or more often, by necessity. The is a certain amount of work that has to be done to keep a family going. Being a couple is not about sharing the same last name, it is about working together. Teamwork, as Miss M would say.
One area that may seem a bit off balance is when participating in what they umight describe as the mundane things of life. Signing cards, or going to weddings, birthday parties and graduations. I truly believe that most men need to be taught what it means to be a couple, in the good and the mundane.
Believe me, mine didn't come trained. It took a while of forcing him...yes, forcing him to understand that is was important to him to be an active participant in our lives. We talked about it last week and he readily admits, he enjoys not only the activities but doing them as a couple. Myabe even more for couples our age, the more we do together the more we avoid going the way of the Gore's. Divorcing after 40 years of marriage. If it was so bad, why not get out years ago? Maybe a bit more couple time could have been a good thing.
If you have a man who already participates, you are well on your way. I have gotten very few cards since I have had a SIL that doesn't have his handwriting on it. I will brag on him a bit more, he has gone to all but a handful of doctor visits, for all his kids. Don't know many other guys who have or would consider it - another reason I heart him so.
Men are not like women. Maybe forcing is too strong but asking for him to parcipate in our lives isn't an extreme request. He may even eventually, come to enjoy it. Want to be a couple, ask him...you can start today, we have a wedding to go to...
Posted by email@example.com at Sunday, June 06, 2010