paper towels 101...

There is a reason that paper towels are perforated. Try to tear one in the middle or a sheet and you have got yourself in a real mess, They perforate the paper towels for a reason and by that reason I mean, we human can be pretty dumb.

We may be able to travel to the moon, think up the internet and invent Red Velvet Pop Tarts but there are times, we are as slow as molasses. We couldn't see it if it jumped out and bit us. There are perforations on sandwich bags and grated cheese. Just admit it, we all need a little help and god forbid, if we try to go around, the perforations. Now, you have got a big mess for the life of your product and it will haunt you every, single time you use the product.

Real life is just like that. There are perforations sprinkled all through our lives. Some times we get it and sometimes we try to get around it. Next time you think you are smarter, better, faster - remember the paper towel. Make good choices...

music as prayer...

My prayer life is all over the board. Sometimes it is quiet and in the dark. Sometimes, it is driving down the road and it is overwhelming. For one who loves music, one of my favorites is to pray during music. For whoever comes to mind.

This week, Mark Schultz's, You Are A Child of Mine came on my ipod and immediately it was dedicated to two guys. As the lyrics played, the prayer just got stronger and stronger.

This is for Sam and Brian. Heal their hearts and make them whole.

This kind of prayer isn't about results. Most of my prayers are not about results. I may be missing the boat but this is the only way I know. I lift these people up and smile, knowing God is hearing me and whatever that looks like, I am good with. It is where my faith may be the strongest. They belong to him, I am just asking for a day's blessing.

And everytime the Hallelujah chorus comes on, I turn my palms up, and soak it all it. Every last bit and whatever happens, happens.

Just being open to put music, people in a prayer, is enough for me. There is such a freedom and there is never a time that someone doesn't come to mind. He is so good. So very, very good...

There is no one in heaven, I am dying to see. There are people that it will be nice to reconnect with but none that have me longing to have one foot in heaven. Those people are all still here. When I read BabyBoyBakery's Story, I understand the concept of having your heart broken and in two places but have no practical experience to understand how it must be to live that, day after day. I understand how lucky I am. I am grateful for where I am and understand that life can change in a heartbeat. The only thing that keeps someone in that position with a sense of staying instead of going, is hope. Hope is what gets us through those days. Even those of us with both feet here, understand that hope is the bridge that makes us tell ourselves, our hearts, one foot in front of the other. Hope, for each of us, is replenished daily. There is more than enough to go around. Grab what you need, until you are completely full and able to take that next step. Don't worry about tomorrow, more hope will be on the way. Take it to heart today...

her and him...

The weather has been beautiful. Everything and more than you could ever ask for. Lots of thinking time, basking in that warmth that only comes with summer. We are out and about more. Playing disc golf at the local elementary school, sharing the field with whoever has decided to unknowingly, join us.

I didn't see these two until they were right there. They were just turning the corner and I had little time to react. I couldn't have planned it better if I wanted to, yet I was ready to go, when the time presented itself.

They have been my inspiration this week. When I find myself a bit riled with my other half. I look at this picture. When I heard that a friend's mom passed away after 61 years of marriage, I wondered about her husband and what he wouldn't give for one more stroll. Time is fleeting, we sing it in our songs and recite it in our poems but not sure we really understand. Tomorrow always seems so far away. We have more time before the fleeting, comes our way.

I would love to know their Story. Body language tells me she needs him. It also says, I am more than willing. He is looking around, she is looking at her next step. Yet, never missing a beat with each other. Much to learn, much to put into practice. Better do it now, will I still can. And as for you, let them be your guide...

16 days...

The calendar says there are 16 more days until summer. If student drivers don't make the case for it being summer, then nothing I can say will change that. We are having the best summer here, not too hot but lots of sunshine to help heal our winter memories. It is a glorious time of year, perfect in every way.

I saw a sign at a local store today that has given me more than I could ever give back. It may not be politically correct, or even nice but says everything about my love for anyone I have loved. It says it in a way, I never could. If someone feels this way about you and they know of what they speak, it would be an honor to be loved by them. And isn't that all we really want? For a few good people to overlook our faults and care about us anyway. To love to make someone laugh, a full belly laugh, that became because of you. When summer comes, we are more apt to give and accept. We don't take ourselves so winter seriously, and let the good times roll. Catch a ray or two, take in some vitamin D and move on. No matter what Season of life, summer is a time to let it all go. To not hurry, to heal the deep wounds. And to love each other...


I love you like a fat kid loves cake.... I love you that much.

the unofficial start to summer 2014...

It is part of my biological clock, the day after Memorial Day is the first official day of summer. The kids had a couple of days left and Keaton has school until the middle of next week...yet, it is still summer. I keep a photo journal of all four seasons and since they are labeled as such, I can start a season on any date I want.

The summer one has just begun. This is the third photo to make the cut. This is what our car will always look like when we are in it, no matter wheat the season. It reminds me of good times, whether it with the kids, on our way to Flying M or the many, many reasons - we are out and about. That we are living our lives the best we know how. The car has looked this way in times of good and not so good. It is about this time, this place.

So here we go. Summer of 2014, we are ready for you. Ready for the warm days, ready for the trips out the door and ready to live in the present. Enjoy while you can, the ice will melt soon and you don't want to have missed it, waiting for something else. In the Moment...

mentoring...

Had my first meeting with the girl who I may be mentoring next year. Her parents happened to be there for her race relays and they sat in on our meeting together. N is an articulate child. She has an opinion and with a little help, is not afraid to use it. On the permission form, parents are asked whether they will allow photos of their child to be taken. These parents chose not to, Of course, I understand their concern but was a wee bit disappointed.

Had my second meeting with Miss N. Any problem with having a mentor, was gone. We forget how much we really do care about wanting that village around sometimes. No agenda, just being a friend, goes a long way with a child or a Big Person. The older we get, the more we like to think we are an island instead of a community. It is about balance, it always is. That and a great big does of knowing you are loved.

Right now, Bakery Boy is mentoring me. Less than a month ago, these two young people lost their three year old as he ran into the street to get a Frisbee. She talks bluntly about the land mines she is trying to avoid but even more about how to move on after a tragedy that most of us will never share. I am in awe of both parents. They know that Someday they will see their Ryan again and that our ways are not God's ways. Mentoring, no matter what it looks like, it is a labor of love...

choose a coach...

Everyday we are coached by someone, or something. Everyday. For all of us, are early coaches are assigned not chosen. Those coaches have their own distinct styles, everything for lovely encouragement to the darkest unthinkable. Someday, we will be able to choose a coach.

There may have to be some relearning but a good coach is invaluable. They see things we can because we are flying by, trying to keep our many life balls, in play. A good coach knows the plays and will call them out to you. You need a coach that you trust is all for you, if you already have that, take good care of them. If not and it is time for a staff change, make it. Find someone who will be in your corner. Someone who has your best interests at heart. It won't always be fun or feel good but you know, it is the best thing for you. Someone who cares, One who loves you...

Spring 2.0...

Around these parts, it is the last week of school. The unofficial season of summer, starts now. Down the road, the kids have a few more days, one has school into June. It is tougher to pay attention when the sun is shining and begging for us to come out and play. It has been a long winter for every part of the country and we are tired of being weary. Dead tired.

Had my first meeting with my new little mentor today. She is a doll and I already love her. Her step father is not allowing any photos of her to be taken so I can only tell you, she is a red haired beauty. Smart, funny and full of questions. I told her I might now always have answers but will do my best. That is the most anyone can ask of anyone. I do have 53 years on her. Have seen a few things, and so is she. She was captivated by the orderly folders on my iPad. Something I never would have thought of. She wants me to show her how. We had met briefly last week and I would have given you a 50/50 chance that she was not interested in having a mentor. Today. I got the feeling she wanted to adopt me. She knows what she is getting herself into, there will be no sugar coating with this kid. She is miles ahead of where she should be but life is like that. Some of us have to grow up faster to survive. She is most definitely, a survivor.

Going to walk in the sun today and glow in all that is right and good. Thank you Spring for not being summer. You have so much to share and I have so much to learn. Baby steps, always about baby steps...

15 avenue garden...

Right smack dab in the middle of family neighborhood on church owned property. 22 raised beds, they have been getting ready to plant. Here we say, never plant before Mothers Day and it looks like these millennials did their homework.

I am going by every week to track their progress, the neighbors are use to me now. Someone asks, what if someone steals the food? The answer I heard was, great - they probably needed it. An interesting way to look at it, a fresh way of looking at an age old problem.

We all know how gardens work. You start with nothing, prep the land, nourish the soil, water and weed and hopefully, harvest. I wanted to put a visual to the process, hence the photo parade.

Love the addition of flowers early in the process. Two signs, and now, a tee pee. The watering lines look they are ready to go on the beds, just have to be plumbed into the main source. Would be pretty, lousy vegetables without water.

men 2.0...

Even while suffering from the effects of eating his weight in carne aside, he is able to go out and socialize with his band of neighborhood brothers. These male creatures never cease to amaze me. I am stunned at their ability to watch things for hours. They delight in the little, small, tiny, dumb things that we women would never stand or sit for. Right now, the man who couldn't get 2 feet from the bathroom, has been out for over 2 hours watching tree limbs fall to the ground and then cut up into little pieces.

I could understand it if they didn't have YouTube and MSNBC. I have never seen these three men together, and we have lived here 14 years, yet this tree has brought them together. Women are brought together by yard sales, Tupperware parties and grief. Men, obviously, can be brought together with trees. I have been happily working on Mothers Day photos, looking at my girl with her girl. The boys wrestling and desperately hoping for a outcome that doesn't involve the er.

So Happy Monday fro the great NW, where the men bond over trees and the women, well, just are...

unintentional experiment...

Not sure what happened but now, looking back, I think I went on a Journey. A Journey that involved social media. Facebook and Instagram vs blogging. What are the perks, what are the downfalls? This is what I have come up with.

Blog posts are longer. You can add detail that FB and IG folks don't have the attention span for. There are some perks, don't get me wrong. My attention span is right there with everyone else. You fill the need to tell the next Story in as few words as possible. The photo has to carry more weight, at least 50% more. We now operate in short, bursts of time and there is a lot of area to cover. I save my favorite blogs for late at night when I know what everyone has done, thought, said, eaten and liked, for the day. I take my time and even feel refreshed after my blog reading time. Blogs have always been like short stories to me. On the nights I allow myself to blog hop, I never know where I am going or when I will be back but I do know, I will never be the same. Someone's Story will resonate with me, make me take a second look or think about something in a different way. A blog gives you more than a quick drink, it quenches your thirst. It allows you to go one to the next thing.

All that to say I am happy to be back. A few new things coming up. I have joined with the Mentoring Network and will mentoring a child in a local school next year. Hopefully, I will get to meet Miss N before the end of school so she can put a face to the name and be ready to go in the fall. Winter was rough but spring is here. We have been in full flag football mode with Gage. Keaton is about to turn 15 and is trying to take over The Tonight Show from Jimmy Fallon. Miss M is her precious self and the way she handles those two brothers is Something to behold. I am in awe.

So my unintentional experiment is over and this is what I think.

We move too fast.
We live in a 140 character world
and Sometimes, that is what I need

but I never want to forget to take my time, lounge around and check out my options. I couldn't have planned this better if it had been planned. I learned a lot about life and myself. Time to dip back into the blog pool where the living is easy...

What we see...

Art is a deception that creates real emotions -- a lie that creates a truth. And when you give yourself over to that deception, it becomes magic. TED Talks

I have not always had a close relationship with photos, just the opposite. Smiling children and parents do not give an accurate description of the lives being led. Maybe that is why I prefer the lifestyle style of photography over the family portrait one. People doing what comes naturally while not knowing there is a camera around. To not be aware can be real, sounds strange but believe in power of the photo to tell the story.

These two were gaming their way around a 40 minute wait time at Red Lobster. Their parents were outside. Sensed there is a Story here that may or may not ever be told. I saw this shot long before I fumbled to get the camera out of my purse, hoping they wouldn't look up. They didn't. Happy me.

There have always been and will always be the family portrait that every mother wants. Come hell or high water, you will be dressed, hair combed and most of all, smile. You will smile until you are told, not too. These will be the photos that are posted in the living room and Places you and I would be invited into. I take these photos because that is what it is all about to me. Each to their own, I have some fabulous friends who are portrait and studio artists. Bless you, you are fabulous. Could never do what you do, again.

Off to see more of what I see. The sun is shining and get to see three little ones that have captured my heart and Sometimes, let me into their world. Someday, it will all make sense to them why Nana wants a picture of them doing normal stuff. Someday, is good enough for me...

My natural aperture probably runs at about a 2.8. The background is blurred and focus is mainly on one thing. By contrast, Steve has a good, strong life aperture, at least a 22. Needless to say, I miss what he sees and visa versa. His net is cast wide, he sees all the pot holes, and everything that hides in the trees. Mine is close, near but laser sharp. I find that one thing and won't let go. US spy planes have nothing on me. Do I miss a lot? Of course I do but I am good with what I do get. This just made my day...

PS Yes this is a real photo of someone's iPad email account!

Lent 2014

Sunday night while giving his acceptance speech, Matthew McConaughey said he has three things that he has in his everyday life. Some one to look up to, something to look forward to and someone to run to. The first two were no brainers but the Someone to run to, brought me to tears.
We all have people we love, dearly. We all have plans that we look forward to. Do you have Someone to run to? If we use this one in correctly, we will suffer. Running to a spouse, a job, perhaps a dream. I immediately saw myself running to God. As fast as I could. My go to, my maker. The One who knows me best, loves me most...Today is the start of Lent. Never growing up in church or later, a church that participated, it is a new thing to me. A few close friends have brought me along, Thank you D and A. I tend to keep my Lent choice private, just between Him and me. This morning, I went running to meet Him. Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine...

mentoring...

When Someone asks, to pick your brain, there is a certain satisfaction that comes to mind. Years of learning and experiences is being taken seriously. There is value being assigned to you. It is a time of sharing and mentoring, a giving to each other freely, no strings attached. We should have more of these times in our lives. Many more...

The Tonight Show...

Late night TV is one of the greatest gifts this earth, gives. I have watched The Tonight Show for as long as I can remember. Johnny Carson came into my home every night and no matter what the day had brought, he soothed me with laughter and jokes and it didn't seem like such a cruel world. Then Jay. I moved to Letterman when Conan came on. I never understood that choice but Dave was a new perfect fit. I will now have to watch both until Dave is replaced by a younger man which has to be, right around the corner.

It is a young person's world and Jimmy Fallon was meant to replace Johnny Carson. He brings the best that late night has and it is rooted in the here and now. Friday's Thank You notes, Justin Timberlake as his BFF, it is new yet has that same feel of the old Tonight show days.

Welcome home, Jimmy. Your replacement is already hard at work. in 25 years when you are ready to set sail with Mrs Fallon, Winnie and the twins, he will be ready to take it over and will make you proud but tonight, it is all you, my friend. Enjoy...

comedian or actor...

Comedian or actor.
A comedian wants to be himself, studies himself.
An actor wants to be anyone but himself. Jerry Seinfeld.

I am a so a comedian.

Jerry goes on to ask Howard Stern in the latest CCC if therapy could help him.
Jerry answers, What could I possibly be better at?

I think it says Something about how we take in information. In a TED talk this week, the speaker basically explained that said when we take in information we filter it either through the past, present or future. Those who choose the future, scored higher in IQ test and generally lead better lives. The test given to kids was you can have one marshmallow now, or 2, later. There is no question in my mind, none, that I would have been in the group that said, Now. I had learned even as a kid that when food was offered, you took it. You didn't know when your next meal was coming. Had my experience been different with regular scheduled meals that any kid could count on, things might have been different.

Even if it were not the case, I would always take comedian or actor. I would always, always take the funny Road, no matter where it lead. That is how I am wired, that is how I process and I can't imagine it any other way...

perfect...

What could be better than pizza with a great friend, while Superman looks over us. Nothing. Absolutely Nothing...

muscles...

I imagine myself to be like a girl Superman. I have practiced taking down Bad Guys, with a single bound. The ne time I needed to, paid off nicely. I did everything right, didn't panic. While there was no physical take down, and the perp was elderly and, clearly have a kid's sheriff's badge, he threathened my family we didn't take the bait. We got his license number, refused to get out of the car when he was screaming at us in the middle of the road and while he sped away, thinking he had gotten away with his little deal, the cops went knocking at his door a few minutes later and it was only a technicality that he didn't go to jail.

My superpowers worked even without the cape. I keep thinking about the cape, and getting one. seriously. Not to make all the BG aware of who the are messing with but as a physical reminder to me of how strong I am. How brave, how territorial... Don't screw with the girl in the cape, choose someone else. Someone easier to take down. My husband would argue that I am scary enough without a cape and feels sorry for everyone who comes across my path, that I see as a threat.

And then there are those days when I realize I am only as strong as my wifi signal. Humbled, I remember where my strength comes from...

19...

Same menu
Same people
Good times

19th spaghetti dinner was last night. We all get together once a year and it is like no time has passed. The kids are getting bigger and a few have moved away. We missed them but had great conversation with the Millennials. Loved seeing the world from their perspective. We are all a little older, hopefully a little wiser but no matter what, have certainly seen much change since we started this little church all those years ago.

When we started there was no home computers, no internet and no social media. Times have changed and so have all of us. A few more grey hairs and. a few more pounds gained. Yet we continue our tradition. Our dessert girl thought about changing up the brownies but was quickly silenced by her own family. I know as soon as she started getting the new ingredients together, it would have dawned on her that this was no place to start Something new. She got the message and we feasted on her brownies which are out of this world. Until next year, my friends. Stay safe, well until we meet again...

about a boy...

We all know that there are Seasons of life. Babies, kids, teen, Big Person, and geezer. You know who you are.

But, watching someone else's Season is a bit tougher yet necessary.

This boy is turning into a man. You can see it in his face. I noticed it last week when I picked him up from school. I had just seen that face but it looked different to me. Same eyes, same eyebrow, he might have grown another inch in the last few days but nothing you could put your finger on yet, it was there, Glaring back at me. He is on the brink of manhood.

My prayers from him won't change, I will just add to them. I have never been a 15 year old boy yet I think I have a handle on how to pray for him. Everyday that I am able to loo into this face, I will do all I can to love and support him. He needs all of us now, more than ever. It is not easy growing up, these days. Guiding yet letting him grow, he has a whole support system that wants nothing but the very best for him.

I love you buddy, and will do whatever I can to help you continue to grow into the fine young man, I can see in your face. Boy to world, here he comes...

good choices...

Sometimes, we want what we want, when we want it.

She loved her makeup face that her mommy, the Makeup Queen did for her during the game last Sunday. She would wear it all the time, if you let her. Did she look beautiful? Of course she did but the photo I took the next day, was way more beautiful and no makeup. She will look like this soon enough, all the time. Girls and makeup have always been and will always be but in between the always and will be comes the idea of good choices. At this Moment, her parents are making most of her choices, from what she wears to what she eats to who she sees. With each year, those choices are less her parents and more, hers. One day, they will be totally hers and everything her parents taught her, will be evident.

We are all a bad choice away from disaster in our own lives.
Good choice, bad choice, it is entirely up to each of us.
We also live with the consequences of those choices.

So it is simple, go out there and make good choices today. Even if it doesn't make you happy or giddy. Even if you have somehow have gotten it into your head that you deserve it. If we all got what we deserved, it wouldn't be cupcakes and roses. Do your best, that is all anyone asks. Good luck...

today, tomorrow and every day you are given...

Whatever you did today, own it. Whether delight or default, truth or dare, hello or goodbye. It was yours to claim and time spent was done with your permission and choosing. Using your powers for good or evil, knowing to whom you belong. Thankful for the opportunity and God willing, we all get another crack at it tomorrow...

Any given day...

Today we reaffirm:

Do you believe...?
I believe...

Will you persevere/proclaim/seek/serve/strive...?
I will, with God's help...

Good words, Teo Bishop. Thank you...

Polar Vortex...

All 50 states reported having below freezing temps today. Every single one.

Having coffee with a good friend, figuring out all that is right, wrong, fair and unfair. Sharing lives with a few tears and if you pay attention, walk away a bit smarter than you came in. You may even walk away with another piece of your own Puzzle. No better way to spend a day, polar vortex or not...

one of those days...

It has been one of those days that I needed to be reminded, to color outside the lines. I needed to be alone with my thoughts and my feelings had hi-jacked my mind. There was sadness everywhere. I needed to look at the colors and see that life it is messy, that there are overlaps, that we don't always get what we want and that most of all, that is ok.

The one thing I did walk away with was a new understanding of grace. Grace is received as Something we didn't deserve. Nothing in our behavior, warranted being loved, yet we were and maybe more to the point that those of us in community who see the unearned act of grace being bestowed on someone, react with pure joy. That even if it is Something we have asked for, prayed for and never received, we can say without a Moment's hesitation, I am so happy for you...

I want that kind of grace, in my life. I want to spend more days, coloring outside the lines and truly be amazed at how God works. If He is for us, who can be against us. Time to start living that out and today, is a great day to begin...

December kind of people...

...

Dec 26, kind of people. Now that we have crossed over into January, it is more apparent. Gone are the feel good vibes we had even on Christmas. Helping people seemed to be a natural out pouring in December, yet the minute the packages are all open, in an instant, we switch back to pre holiday mode.
People are still hungry, unemployed and can't pay the heat bill. My theory is that it is a lot more fun to buy presents for those who find themselves in want. Makes us feel good about ourselves yet the Moment that invisible switch goes off, we are done. The red kettles are gone and so is our charity spirit. I want to bring December into my life this January, and February and all through the year. I want to be open to the things I can do, big or small. The ones that are sent my way. I want that red kettle to be a sign that caring is just not for December. I want to be December kind of people, every day...