What is without periods of rest, will not endure...Ovid, Roman poet.
Truer words were never spoken. I would go on to add and Sometimes, harder to do than imagined. It seems like a lifetime ago yet it has only been a few weeks. Have gone thru four holidays, one funeral and very little else from my view from the Pear Tree. There were only 20 people at the funeral and I was one of the youngest but I did get to see two old co-workers and go the download on a bunch more. We were there to honor a grand old dame but it was like walking back in time. Not a cell phone or IPod in sight. They talked of a world before I was born, I wanted to drag them into this world but they were comfortable with the one they are barely hanging on to. To each, their own.
I have spend lots of alone time and even more time, just thinking. Trying to come with a 2009 theme for myself. 2009 has come with its own declarations and quite frankly, no matter what direction you look - most of them are bleak. It's has been a Long Process but at its end, it comes back to learning to let go. Letting go of things that are sucking the life out of me. I have already made some changes and there are more to come. It is not about Living in Denial. After Adam and Eve had to leave the Garden, it wasn't long before the uglyness of Cain and Abel came along and the uglyness of humankind was here to stay.
Whatever 2009 brings, I feel better about my chances of living a more balanced life than I did several weeks ago. It is cold and winter has just started. There is a built-in, quiet desperation that comes with January. We lose our footings after the rush of Christmas and have nowhere to route all that energy but it also a time to take some time to just be. I have come to love that about January.
As I went thru my daily read of blogs and was trying to sort out which ones would not make the cut, it was not without some uncomfortableness. One in particular, makes me laugh but deep down, I knew it had to go. It took almost a full minute to hit the Delete button but it was a Start. A Start to Let Go. I figure it will take most of January to sort everything out and I hope I have the courage to continue to hit the Delete button, no matter how bad it feels now. It took a lot of effort to take this period of rest, took a few days to even see the Need fro it but coming out on the other side, I could not have done a better thing. Happy New Year - we're back and ready to go...
