correction...

DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN...Facebook.

This was posted by some people who know Jesus. Really know Him. They have been in the trenches with Him concerning life, death and loss. While humor is subjective, this kind is never funny, I don't care who you are.

There are times in all of our lives when we need to make a correction. What we think is what we do, like it or not. You can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time. I am in the middle of making a correction in my life now. One that I thought was a good thing but turned out not to be. Doesn't have to be mind blowing but again, when thinking involves doing then pretty much everything can become a big deal pretty fast. It won't take a lot of work or effort to make the correction, might take some discipline. Anything but discipline... well, considering the Diet Coke experience, maybe it won't be so difficult.

Not sure how of the process where we come to know something needs correction. Wish I could say I had a nice comeback for the Facebook comment. It still burned my britches late last night as I was recounting the experience to DH. He said, maybe they are trying to be funny., even though he agreed, it wasn't.

It doesn't matter if you are a die hard fan of one politcal party or another,
God comes first.

It doesn't matter if you think you have the gift of a stand up comic,
God comes first

It doesn't matter if you have to make a correction to your life to get it right,
God comes first.

Just do it and let's get on with it. Correction made, ready for the next one...

young at heart...

We jumped on the Netflix bandwagon last week and between what comes in the mail and what we can see on the Wii, certainly getting our money's worth.

Last night it was Young At Heart. DH said I was on my own - code for he wasn't interested but he stayed and got hooked in the first few minutes. The average age of the chorus members is 80. The idea was to watch these old people sing rock and roll. No other way to say it and it so works.

You get to see their up and downs. From trying to learn lyrics to sharing each other's health issues. They have a focus on life that one can't imagine until you are there. Some things, you have to wait for. The path you are on is yours, no matter how long or short but the reality is, if you live to a ripe, old age - there are different lessons to learn and sorrows to endure.

Like it or not, life is divided up into sections. Even though the human heart tells us we want the whole Shebang, we will not all get wyat we want. Lives cut short, never getting married, having children or grandchildren. In our own way, we all barter with God for more time... what young at heart taught me was that that goal never goes away. Just a few more years, we ask in our golden years. Some things never change...

making your world bigger...

What does that look like for you? For me with my happy little world, it usually takes a lot for me to even notice when it is happening. There is a difference between seeing the Big Picture and making your world bigger. To me, it is like night and day.

I learn visually but I comprehend from the written word. I pay attention best when I listen to a speaker whether live or on the internet. Have been spending some time with Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz, listening to podcasts and got to say, they are making my world bigger. This is where I lack. This is where I need the most help. This is where if I keep looking, I imagine my life would change.

I woke up this morning as a dream from my small world was ending. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. The things we all mourn from Days Gone By. It is mornings like these that my world gets smaller. If only, wish things were different...the places we all get stuck every once in a while. Funny that today is should also be about making my world bigger. No accident I imagine. How better to learn than when it is fresh in your mind. The delightful thing is the one I woke up with is fading as the ideas are running around in my mind.

As I watched Keaton, Gage and their friends, I thought, these guys are the future and it is looking pretty good to me. I love boys so. Not much going on behind the scenes. They laugh, have fun and I have got to say that driving home with four boys singing Bachman Turner Overdrive's, Taking Care Of Business with the radio cranked, is quite the time. We were all jamming and they let me into their little boy world for just a Moment. Quite a Moment because my world got a little bigger. A few more like these, and I will be on the right track...

when listening is too easy...

I heart Steve Almond...to a point. He wrote a terrific piece about iTunes and when his new book, Rock and Roll Will save Your Life , comes out later this month, I will be one of first to stand in line for a copy.

When I first encountered iTunes, I was agog. After amassing music, I had more than 4000 albums, most of them stacked in my basement.

oh boy, a guy after my own heart.

Not only was my musical archive more organized, it was portable too. Thanks to the wonders of the ever -shrinking iPod, I could carry thousands of songs with me whenever I went on a device barely larger than a postage stamp...I'm pretty sure I would have proclaimed you the Messiah.

Heaven, I'm in heaven...

But for all the joys of such wizardry I've been experiencing a creeping sense of dread recently about iTunes... SAY WHAT!

...I considered listening to am album am activity i and of itself, It is not something I did while working on homework, let alone while checking em-mail or thumbing out text message.

This is where the Amish come in... wait for it. Mr Almond goes on to explain his view that music is pure and that we are moved it to the background. Filling our real lives with technology and leaving the joy of music behind. He couldn't be further from the truth. Sue Bender, Plain and Simple, taught me much about the Amish that I will never forget. God might have not heard my prayers to become Amish but by adoption, I will always be one of them and this is what she taught me.

For the Amish, everything is a ritual.
Doing the dishes
Mowing the lawn
baking bread
quilting, canning, hanging out the laundry,
picking fresh produce, weeding
no distinction is made between the sacred and the everyday

No distinction is made between the sacred and the everyday...

That is what Mr Almond is missing. The music is part of the everyday now and there is no us and them, it is we. It is the way life should be. My experience has been I am better at life when I remember the sacred and the everyday. Here's more.

Not knowing and learning to be comfortable with not knowing, is a great discovery.

Leave room for the unexpected

It's time to celebrate the lives we have

I spent a great deal of time living vicariously thru Sue Bender and the Amish. They changed my life. Mr Almond has it half right, now he just has to go celebrate the life he has...

when listening is too easy...

I heart Steve Almond...to a point. He wrote a terrific piece about iTunes and when his new book, Rock and Roll Will save Your Life , comes out later this month, I will be one of first to stand in line for a copy.

When I first encountered iTunes, I was agog. After amassing music, I had more than 4000 albums, most of them stacked in my basement.

oh boy, a guy after my own heart.

Not only was my musical archive more organized, it was portable too. Thanks to the wonders of the ever -shrinking iPod, I could carry thousands of songs with me whenever I went on a device barely larger than a postage stamp...I'm pretty sure I would have proclaimed you the Messiah.

Heaven, I'm in heaven...

But for all the joys of such wizardry I've been experiencing a creeping sense of dread recently about iTunes... SAY WHAT!

...I considered listening to am album am activity i and of itself, It is not something I did while working on homework, let alone while checking em-mail or thumbing out text message.

This is where the Amish come in... wait for it. Mr Almond goes on to explain his view that music is pure and that we are moved it to the background. Filling our real lives with technology and leaving the joy of music behind. He couldn't be further from the truth. Sue Bender, Plain and Simple, taught me much about the Amish that I will never forget. God might have not heard my prayers to become Amish but by adoption, I will always be one of them and this is what she taught me.

For the Amish, everything is a ritual.
Doing the dishes
Mowing the lawn
baking bread
quilting, canning, hanging out the laundry,
picking fresh produce, weeding
no distinction is made between the sacred and the everyday

No distinction is made between the sacred and the everyday...

That is what Mr Almond is missing. The music is part of the everyday now and there is no us and them, it is we. It is the way life should be. My experience has been I am better at life when I remember the sacred and the everyday. Here's more.

Not knowing and learning to be comfortable with not knowing, is a great discovery.

Leave room for the unexpected

It's time to celebrate the lives we have

I spent a great deal of time living vicariously thru Sue Bender and the Amish. They changed my life. Mr Almond has it half right, now he just has to go celebrate the life he has...

happy days

It has been 3 weeks since the loss of Diet Coke at my house. Make no mistake, it has been a huge loss. In all fairness, I confess I have allowed myself, one a week. Never at a time when I feel the Need, just the opposite. Mexican food, my favorite is just not the esame without it. That has made me crazy.

The 21 day rule about changing a habit just doesn't work for me. I have to be convinced not conned. Had already been watching the Jamie Oliver Revolution but slowly became convinced that some things other than the DC needed to change. I had gotten away from making food from scratch and last week, that all changed.

I made salad dressing and ice cream at home. My Vita Mix can make ice cream in 2 minutes, less if I want a shake and taste better than anything I can buy. That sold me so next I went through my pantry and started throwing processed foods away. No more instant potatoes, cake mixes or frosting. No Rice a Roni or Stove top for us. Late in life to change but most of my life my generation has cooked so I have skills to fall back on. Not sure what this will look like in 6 months but the apprentice ship will be over and either I am on board or have decided, it is not that big of deal. To buy potatoes, take them home - peel, cook and mash when you can do instant, even the good instant ones from Costco, doesn't make sense- until it does and it is really starting to make sense.

Remember Richie Cunningham's mom, Donna Reed and all those 1950's moms? They didn't have treadmills or take classes at the gym yet they were fat or obese. I think the difference was food not exercise. Exercise is great but we can't exercise enough to get these processed food s out of our systems. We could exercise for days at a time and still not get ahead. My mind is telling me the difference is the food and that makes sense to me. Will see how this little experiment works - the next time I need a cake I will make the one I use to make, the Chocolate Mousse one that no one could ever get enough of. Good place to start, that and my ice cream...

how long does it take?

The Kids Grow Up trailer from Copacetic Pictures on Vimeo.

... a lifetime. It takes a lifetime to permanently get use to losing something whether by choice, chance or commitment. Do we really ever adapt? We come to terms with the new normals of our lives but do we ever really get over the losses of our lives? Does the mourning period really ever end? Do we fill the new gaps or simply endure them? Profound yet dubious in nature, I wish I had a permanent answer, like one size fits all...

the wheels are turning...

It occurred to me that when the times change, we have to change with them. With the addition of the iPad into our lives, there are many opportunities coming our way. On PadPundit, Scott Bourne talked about his 99 cent app, new to the iTunes store. Avian, 15 images of assorted birds for your viewing pleasure. Imagine that.

While not a bird fan, I could certainly see myself buying photo apps of diners or carnivals or buildings. I Googled app making(?) and was directed to the iPhone Developer Program on the Apple site. Didn't check it out thoroughly but there seems to be a $99 charge to get started. Not much else required from what I could see. Having a super-smart techie SIL is going to help.

The cool thing is that there is room for everyone. Photos not your thing? do you game? Or Something brand new. While we can't run apps on PC's, the day has to be coming. If it doesn't, app and iPad will take over the world....Just checked the iPad stats and as of a minute ago, 871,169 iPads have been sold in the US since they came out the beginning of April. I can't find one locally so when I am ready to pull the trigger, it will be at the Apple web site.

The core remains the same. We are still getting info, just in a different way and we are still trying to get the word - what ever we have our head wrapped around at any given time. Bulleye's marks the spot, yours and mine. It is a whole new world and I don't want to miss a thing...

got your back...

Had to stop at Albertson's for stamps so was basically, focused. I didn't see Jesus coming right at me. I didn't see her until after, then I remembered everything about her. Have had these Moments before, both when I was paying attention and when I wasn't.

I can tell you she was a little graying brunette woman, with soft circles. I can also tell you she had a light sweater or and had three bags of groceries in her cart. Shortish, nothing particularly memorable about her. Someone you wouldn't give a second glance too - like me,

I can also tell you she was fabulously old school. The days when there were ladies and broads and both camps were happy. She is not afraid of the now, Watch out for number 1 culture because Some things are more important. She cook her food but enjoys a nice dinner out. Not interested in what one else is doing but being a good person is important to her. She definitely belongs in the lady category but with all due respect, there was some great broad in her.

It all happened in a flash but it seemed like a minute. The detail is so vivid, and in that Moment, I knew. It was a small thing. Most people wouldn't have bothered. Wait till she finds out! Can't wait to tell Herbert...

I know it is in the little things. That is where we get bogged down and that is where we are lifted up. The mountain top experiences come and go but the everyday is where we spend 90% of our time. No matter who we are, there is room for improvement. Always.

I didn't see her until she was directly in front of me, when she cupped her hand and whispered in my ear - Honey, your zipper is upzipped... and she kept on going. What a way to start a day. May yours be just as fabulous...

genetics...

You know all the questions you have to answer at the doctor's office about your medical history? Not only all your ailments and surgeries but those of your bio family. Heart attack, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure. Maybe you know and maybe you don't.

While those are a big deal, to me the bigger deal are the traits that may affect you on a more regular basis. You will never convince me that things like needing lots of sleep, having a poor memory and even the pathway to thoughts aren't as genetically connected as physical ailments. How much is environmental or learned behavior, one might ask. I will boldly confess, I think there is much more going on than how you lived as a kid.
Being tenacious, or ornery or kind or loving. This traits come the day you are born and although they appear to disappear during the teenage years, the basic trait of a person is always there and can be traced back to one or more generations.

I see many of these traits in my girl and my grand babies. Many of them, I sit in amazement when they describe the same things I feel.know.say. Things they thought were unique to them. Things we have never talked about. Things you will never find on a questionnaire in a doctor's office. It is part of the Mystery of the genetic code we share with each other. How cool is that?

quitter...

After a real conversation with a friend, I examined myself to see if I was a quitter. I see that label as being negative but am old enough to know that at a certain time in your life, known how to spend your time in a healthy way, will include knowing when to hold em and when to fold them.

Given my thin slicing personality, I tend to give Something a couple of chances and if there appears to be no value, I have no problem moving on. Sometimes, once is enough. From my perspective, there seems to be a fine line between hanging in there and exit, stage left. Not sure there is an easy answer, wish there was.

Whether a relationship or activity, deciding to commit your time and attention for any length of time, takes some serious and honest thought. When is enough, enough? If you aren't getting anything out of it, should you stay because it is helping someone else and how can you tell the difference?

Wanting to be aware, I will continue in the best way I know. Mistakes, sure will make a gob of them. In this lifetime, you will never be the teacher - always the student. If you think you have learned it all, you are in some serious trouble. Questioning yourself is essential to good mental health. It is not always their fault, sometimes, it will be your turn to be wrong. Just be aware of the possibility and when it is time to act or apologize, do it and do it fast.

Pondering all these things makes the tattoo thing thing look easy...or not. Imagine never having to imagine...

the experience of being aware...

It started last night as I lay in my bed and realized that being with this man who has shared 38 years of nights with me, was a pure gift. It was an awareness that I have had from time to time. Most nights there is not much awareness and some nights, I couldn't have been in that state of mind, for many reasons, no matter what.

It is almost like experiencing moments of clarity. Moments when you realize that it won't always be this way. Moments when you realize there is more time behind you than ahead of you. It can bring a small sense of loss but mostly it provides time for understanding a bit more of what this life has to offer. It may convince you to take that giant leap of faith or encourage you to make a chart correction to the life you are living now.

This awareness thing continued on today. During our senior shoot, watching Hayley and H at Donnie Mac's. The little things of life that go by and we miss. They seemed to be so crystal clear today. Like little bits of time being suspended so I could get a good look at them. It was a strange sensation and one I hope that comes again.

It was a good day. I expect the day will end the way it did last night. Will I see it the same way I did last night? Not sure but looking forward to it anyway...

it's the time of the season...

You can feel it, even smell it. It comes at the same time every year and whether you are a participant or parental unit or casual observer of life, signs of it are everywhere, Coming up here pretty quick for a small percent of our population yet everyone or nearly everyone, will experience it in a lifetime. There might have been a little ceremony at the end of kindergarten or a slight acknowledgement between jr high and high school but nothing like this. Pictures, announcements, parties and more parties.

The last year has been spent figuring out where to go from here and the paths to that Journey are as diverse as we are from each other. The class of 2010 will stand alone in its ability to see the future and what it holds. The newest generation to put glee club and grade 12 behind them also takes the ipad and whatever else is coming to change the world as we know it and make it happen. The possibilities are endless as are their choices. The world is changing at an incredible speed and we are not only along for the ride but are reinventing what that ride will be like.

One of my favorite commencement speakers, Anna Quindlen says in A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Life is made of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy as the ones most of us lead now, that won't happen. We have to teach ourselves how to live, really live..to love the journey, not the destination...

As the class of 2010 takes it final victory lap in the next 30 plus days, may the wonder they knew as a child, take them on the next part of the Journey. May you guys realize and more importantly, live like anything is possible but more so than any other class, that is the truth. As real as real can be...

simon says...

It occurred to me this morning as I was at Miss M's preschool that maybe it was time to play Simon Says. It was Miss M's birthday and her mommy was the teacher, and I, the helper. I thought it was just me but later when the teachers remarked that it was quite the Monday, realized it wasn't just me and the kids were indeed, bouncing off the walls.

At one point as the boys were going wild and the rain outside made it impossible to send them out for some much needed outside play, playing Simon Says seemed like a possible diversion for a few minutes. I haven't thought about Simon Says in forever. A non-tech game that is dependent on listening and remembering. I remember when the first electronic one came out. Loved it ...at first. Then with a long string of colors and beeps, it left me behind in the dust. As I sat there wondering if these 4 and 5 year olds had ever heard of SS, it occurred to me that it may not be the best choice for them.

We all play Simon Says in every season of our lives. Sometimes as just a game - for fun and Sometimes, for Real. It dawned on me that the Church, with all it faults, has been guilty of playing Simon Says not only on a regular basis but never for fun. You are in the game...as long as you do exactly what Simon says. The minute you deviate from the strict system that Simon has created, you are out of the game. You could probably say it is the same system that prisons and schools use to keep their charges in line. Does it work? Those who learn the rules and abide by them without thought, learn very little. Those who don't or can't learn, have a hard go of it.

Maybe Simon Says isn't the best thing to teach children. Maybe Simon Says isn't good for any of us. All I know is this morning I woke up thinking it was a harmless game and now, I am not so sure...

the green-eyed monster...

The green-eyed monster. We all experience it from time to time. It starts when we are very young and it is my experience that the monster gets smaller the older you get. This weekend, I experienced it in two completely different ways and lived to tell about it.

The first one had to do with a camera. Camera envy to be exact. Morgan shared her birthday tea party with a friend and that friend has a mommy who has a camera worth envying. A nice lens too. We took turns taking pictures and while I am very happy with my camera, I found myself thinking - what if?

I realized pretty quick that what if can get you in trouble fast and worse than that, gratitude goes out the window. I could have a bigger camera with L glass - if I am willing to go back to work. If I am willing to give up the freedom of dropping everything to go anywhere I need to go, on a moment's notice. Makes that camera look less and less appealing. Within a few minutes, the green-eyed monster was gone.

The other envy was a bit less physical and more emotional. As I watched this little girl whose blood is the same as mine - having the time of her life, I wanted to be a little girl. I wanted to share this with her in a way that is no longer possible. I wanted to be one of the gang - I wanted have a seat with a balloon and a cupcake at the party. I forgot, for just a moment, that taking pictures was probable the most fun I have ever had in my life. Again, the lack of gratitude was painfully apparent and brought me back to reality pretty quickly. Pretty quickly, indeed.

The green-eyed monster will raise its ugly, little head from time to time. Testing the waters, looking for an way in. Just like temptation, envy is not a sin unless it takes hold for the long haul. In someways when it pops into our lives, we have an opportunity to learn Something and for that one reason, I am so very grateful...

Tea Party ...

The Tea Party extravaganza for Morgan and Ava was quite the success. The girls were besides themselves most of the two hours and even got some trampoline action in their pretty dresses.

The brain child of my girl, she shared duties with Ava's mom for what was Something I dare say every girl (of any age) loved being a part of. Those of us who helped, got as much out of it as the little girls did.

There is just something magical about a tea party, no matter how old you are. The little sandwiches cut into flower shapes, the cupcakes with jelly bean flower petals and the small details that make the table come to life. Add a little planting action in delightful little tea cups and you have for a wonderful experience.

Morgan will always remember this day. She won't remember that her dad worked tirelessly hanging paper lanterns and the canopy or that her poppa spent some time putting petals on her cupcakes but the Love that she felt will represent it all and we, none of us would have missed it for anything. Happy 5th Birthday Miss M, we all love you so...

making a change...

It has been four days since I have had a Diet Coke.

Four long days. No full fledged crying but there have been tears.

This was not an overnight decision and if you have been around me for more than 5 minutes, you know what big a deal this is. Has been and will be. Years ago when I was going to ACOA, (Adult Children of Alcoholic) an AA sponsor pulled me aside and said to me,

You know you are an alcoholic...even if you never take a sip?

I knew it before she said it. In childhood, it manifested itself in food. Long before I knew anything about anything, I knew about my sweet tooth. Through thick and thin, it has never left me. Talk about a lifelong partner, this one can be counted on just like clockwork.

Back to the Diet Coke, the short Story is the kids gave up pop for Lent and their parents decided to make it permanent. In good conscious, I can't drink pop in front of them and with a 5 can/Sonic Route 44 habit most days, maybe it was time. I always still have a drink in my hand but I have missed it most during my two Mexican meals this week. I can't tell you how deflated and empty I have felt. Ice tea at Flying M -it really was ok but you start to realize how much Something can take over your life.

So trying to find my way this week. The kids and I have such a history with Sonic. It is one of the things we do. We talk and have fun - many memories have been made there. We haven't been there in a while. We will see if that will continue or if we will fill the time doing something else.

Many things will change. Making a change is not easy otherwise we would do it more. One thing that will not change is paying $4.50 for a bottle of water at the movies. Never have, never will...

earthquakes...

Is it just me or have you noticed that every few days or so, there is a 5.0 or better earthquake somewhere. This afternoon, it was a 7.7 in Indonesia. A few days ago, it was on the Mexico/California border.

Obviously, Haiti is still in the news and there seems to be some kind of Haiti relief project still making the rounds on the Internet. but life goes on, Dancing With The Stars and American Idol still rule the airwaves and trying to buy a IPad is going to take some patience.

It is not in my nature to predict doom and gloom but I find this underlining weather phenomena to be up close and personal. The Mexicali one is the first in the US and that may be why we have not thought too much about the string of events but ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

Maybe because I am always aware that there is more going on than what I see. Realizing that we live a one dimensional state in a multi dimensional world. Some of us are tuned into different paths. I wish everything was warm & cozy. That is where I am the most comfortable but I also know, that is not Real Life.

Today I remarked to a friend who has recently moved back to California, that when the Big One hits there, she will have to run back to Idaho and enjoy the beach front property that will finally be ours. Never thought it would happen in my lifetime but it is starting to look like a distinct possibility...

he owes me $225.00...

I saw him at No Greater Love and my immediate response is the same it has been for over 15 years - he owes me $225.00. Not his name or his family, just about how he did me wrong.

He has had many jobs and fixing TV's was one of them. It was the Days when we thought hiring somebody from the church was a good thing to do. He came, said it was fixed, got our money and left. That night, the TV was still broke and we were out a gob of money. We called him, he assured us he would come back...never saw him again except around town. We have seen him around town, even talked to him but he never showed up to try the repair again or refunded our money.

After 2 1/2 hours of NGL and the Easter sermon about forgiveness, it is time to not just let it go but forgive him. It is time to change my view, change my thought process and let this man go. Let the whole thing go - think of all the time I have wasted being mad and reliving it everytime I see him. Maybe the difference is I am ready now. I don't want to continue this, I want to forgive and forget. What I really want is the next time I see him, I want there to be no pain, hurt or anger. It is a step I want to take. Baby steps, first him and then on to others. Funny, the big hurts in my life, I have forgiven - it's the little ones I struggle with. I need to start here, with him and now...

back to normal...

Easter festivities are behind me but still linger in the corner of my mind. Saturday night, we took the boys to No Greater Love. Gage, for the first time, was somewhat in awe. If you not local, NGL is a 31 year old Easter pageant complete with live animals and a whole community of actors that weave a story within The Story. Must have been a hit - as we walked out to the car, Gage wanted me to buy tickets for next year now.

Easter Sunday was filled with much joy. The kids made quite a haul between two sets fo grandparents, their aunt and uncle and mommy and daddy. What did they love the most? Bubbles. Even though it was a less than warm day, they spent 15 minutes outside blowing and chasing bubbles. There was an attempt to take some formal Easter pictures but it didn't work out. That is ok. I have a collection of 15 or so pictures of pure Easter Joy and that is good enough for me. It reminds me of what Easter is about and more importantly, what do we take with us as we go back to normal? Is there anything we realized we no longer need that is just taking up space? What is not working for us anymore and what is?

Can it be as simple as chasing bubbles? Do we make it so difficult that it is too hard to understand or even implement? Do we overthink the important and unthink the essential? These two icons remind me of what I need to know. Seemingly olar opposites, they seen seamless to me and that is what I am taking into this week...

Holy Friday and the IPad...

Keep thinking about good and holy, and decided to make the permanent switch to Holy Friday. In that light, I woke up Friday, ready to embrace the day. Jumped on the Super Highway and got the first blast of IPad-ness. It was downhill from there.

To say that I am excited about the IPad is like saying, I like ice cream. It so does not come close. I have been too excited to sleep a few night, contemplating how it will change our lives, not just mine but all of us. I have been on board since Steve Jobs announced it in January, I got on lists and have been waiting ever since. It will feel right and it will be glorious.
I kept coming back to Holy Friday. I wanted to no only be but stay in the Moment but I kept being redirected by the Shiny. I hate that I can lose focus so quickly and Friday was just a another reminder of how so quickly I turn into Peter. I know it in my heart but when I see myself living it out, it is not one of my finer moments.

By the end of the afternoon, I started to get my head on straight when the phone rings. There was a IPad with my name on it at the MacLife store if I still wanted it. My heart leaped and missed a few beats but I knew the answer... Not Today. I would never be able to forgive myself if I bought it so I told the nice man to give it to the next person. There are just some things you know you have to do and if you don't, it will always be with you.

Don't know when the IPad will be fitting neatly into my little hands but I know when it does, it will be the right time.Later that evening, the battle seemed to die down. No more competion in my mind and the day ended as I wanted it to, with Holy Friday bathing my soul. Couldn't have ended any better. Thank Angie for the new perspective and thanks for taking me along to the Stations of the Cross and Veneration. Someday, I hope to see for myself...

resurrection...

Resurrection: Rob Bell from The Work of Rob Bell on Vimeo.