It started last night as I lay in my bed and realized that being with this man who has shared 38 years of nights with me, was a pure gift. It was an awareness that I have had from time to time. Most nights there is not much awareness and some nights, I couldn't have been in that state of mind, for many reasons, no matter what.
It is almost like experiencing moments of clarity. Moments when you realize that it won't always be this way. Moments when you realize there is more time behind you than ahead of you. It can bring a small sense of loss but mostly it provides time for understanding a bit more of what this life has to offer. It may convince you to take that giant leap of faith or encourage you to make a chart correction to the life you are living now.
This awareness thing continued on today. During our senior shoot, watching Hayley and H at Donnie Mac's. The little things of life that go by and we miss. They seemed to be so crystal clear today. Like little bits of time being suspended so I could get a good look at them. It was a strange sensation and one I hope that comes again.
It was a good day. I expect the day will end the way it did last night. Will I see it the same way I did last night? Not sure but looking forward to it anyway...
