It has been four days since I have had a Diet Coke.
Four long days. No full fledged crying but there have been tears.
This was not an overnight decision and if you have been around me for more than 5 minutes, you know what big a deal this is. Has been and will be. Years ago when I was going to ACOA, (Adult Children of Alcoholic) an AA sponsor pulled me aside and said to me,
You know you are an alcoholic...even if you never take a sip?
I knew it before she said it. In childhood, it manifested itself in food. Long before I knew anything about anything, I knew about my sweet tooth. Through thick and thin, it has never left me. Talk about a lifelong partner, this one can be counted on just like clockwork.
Back to the Diet Coke, the short Story is the kids gave up pop for Lent and their parents decided to make it permanent. In good conscious, I can't drink pop in front of them and with a 5 can/Sonic Route 44 habit most days, maybe it was time. I always still have a drink in my hand but I have missed it most during my two Mexican meals this week. I can't tell you how deflated and empty I have felt. Ice tea at Flying M -it really was ok but you start to realize how much Something can take over your life.
So trying to find my way this week. The kids and I have such a history with Sonic. It is one of the things we do. We talk and have fun - many memories have been made there. We haven't been there in a while. We will see if that will continue or if we will fill the time doing something else.
Many things will change. Making a change is not easy otherwise we would do it more. One thing that will not change is paying $4.50 for a bottle of water at the movies. Never have, never will...
