The green-eyed monster. We all experience it from time to time. It starts when we are very young and it is my experience that the monster gets smaller the older you get. This weekend, I experienced it in two completely different ways and lived to tell about it.
The first one had to do with a camera. Camera envy to be exact. Morgan shared her birthday tea party with a friend and that friend has a mommy who has a camera worth envying. A nice lens too. We took turns taking pictures and while I am very happy with my camera, I found myself thinking - what if?
I realized pretty quick that what if can get you in trouble fast and worse than that, gratitude goes out the window. I could have a bigger camera with L glass - if I am willing to go back to work. If I am willing to give up the freedom of dropping everything to go anywhere I need to go, on a moment's notice. Makes that camera look less and less appealing. Within a few minutes, the green-eyed monster was gone.
The other envy was a bit less physical and more emotional. As I watched this little girl whose blood is the same as mine - having the time of her life, I wanted to be a little girl. I wanted to share this with her in a way that is no longer possible. I wanted to be one of the gang - I wanted have a seat with a balloon and a cupcake at the party. I forgot, for just a moment, that taking pictures was probable the most fun I have ever had in my life. Again, the lack of gratitude was painfully apparent and brought me back to reality pretty quickly. Pretty quickly, indeed.
The green-eyed monster will raise its ugly, little head from time to time. Testing the waters, looking for an way in. Just like temptation, envy is not a sin unless it takes hold for the long haul. In someways when it pops into our lives, we have an opportunity to learn Something and for that one reason, I am so very grateful...
