I was so naive when my girl was a toddler. Thinking that, if I could just get thru the next couple years... there would be the reward of, making it.
Toddlers have nothing on adult children but you couldn't ever have convinced me of, that all those years ago.
The worries of toddlers, the crashing into the coffee table or escaping out the front door disappear. Those crazy fears pale in comparision to losing jobs and heart-breaking life events. While it takes many years to see this clearly, when you do - it helps put your thinking into a more, understandable state.
Those toddlers eventually go to teens and that is a whole, other world in itself. Those years where death doesn't seem possible until a group of friends are killed on a late Saturday night. That feeling of invincibility goes from improbable to possible as one moves into adulthood but for the parent, there are just more things to worry about. Add in grandchildren and you push the ante up, even more.
I am so proud of my girl. She has grown up to spend her time, raising her family. She has no problem telling the kids, doesn't matter than bobby's parent's let him watch R-rated movies, you won't be. All those things that take constant attention, the watering, feeding, running around. I thought I had it hard with one, with three, she knows what to ask and where to look.
Still, there is a part of her, that will always be my little girl. I want none or very few bumps along the way. No more worries about coffee tables or escaping. The worries are different but have the same intensity. If I could protect her, my fabulous SIL or my darling 3 - I would do it in a heartbeat but I can't. I can lift them up to the One who holds them tight, and I do. When I remember to whom they belong, I am a better mother. I have been allowed to be a part of these wonderful peoples lives, never take it for granted. The worry just comes with the job, seems like a small price to pay for such a great privilege...
