Went to church with the kids on Sunday and the best part was Miss M wanting to have her picture taken in their very lovely bathroom. Not sure what her deal was but nana was more than happy to oblige her. There are very few times in a girl's life when she wants here picture taken, when she feels good enough about herself to have it documented so I say, go for it - no matter where or when.
Church was fine. Ok, maybe not that fine. Everyone in our family showed up so we took up the whole back row except for the end seat, right next to mine. Thinking that is wasn't necessary to put my purse and our collective coats on the chair because who would even want to sit there...except Karl, that's who. DD immediately had her DH move down to the extra seat by him. She know her mama. The seat next to me is never open to strangers, never. Issues and this one is mine. So the morning started off bad and then a few statements before and during the sermon hit me wrong. Nothing outstanding just the same church jargon - you would think we could learn to say something different. Still trying to figure out if something the pastor said is biblically correct or just his opinion.
Woke up yesterday and this stinky cold is coming back. Feel asleep early and then couldn't sleep. I wanted to finish the book I was reading so I could pass it to my friend who is heading out of town. The cover flap marked the place where I had stopped reading the night before and I picked it on pg 24 and read these words.
How is it then that we've come to imagine that Christianity consists primarily in what we do for God? How has this come to be the good news of Jesus? Is the kingdom that He proclaimed to be nothing more than a community of men and women who go to church on Sunday, take an annual spiritual retreat, read their bibles every now and then, vigorously oppose abortion, don't watch x-rated movies, never use vulgar language, smile a lot, hold doors open for people, root for the favorite team and get along with everybody? Is that why Jesus went through the bleak and bloody horror of Calvary? Is that why He emerged in shattering glory from the tomb? Is that why He poured out His Holy Spirit on the church? To make nicer men and women with better morals? The gospel is absur and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died and rose again with but no other purpose in mind: to make new creations.
I am only here for the furious love of God - nothing else. Brennan Manning reminded me once again, of the what I know to be true.
...the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness and extravagant, furious love. This, my friends, is what it really means to be a Christian. Our religion never begins with what we do for God. It always starts with what God has done for us, the great and wondrous things that God dreamed of and achieved for us in Christ Jesus
This furious love of God will allow me to walk back into church, any church and do the best I can. One of the things that hit me so wrong last Sunday was the same stale call to come and make friends at church. I have enough friends, thank you, not interested in any more. Then I remind myself that my best friends, each and every one either came directly from a face to face at a church or thru a church friend. Every single one. The church is no match for the furious, wonderful love of Jesus but because of that love, I will go back - again and again...
