I want to be a Catholic...

this Easter.

I know it sounds strange but considering I wanted to be Amish for a real long time, praying and praying for it to be so - this seems to not be so very strange.

A wonderful friend was explaining to me the Holy Week schedule of her church and I found myself, aching for what she was going to experience this Easter. I love that her church calls Good Friday, Holy Friday. The difference between good and holy is what is calling me this Easter. I would be the first to agree that long term, unless the Catholics start having rock and roll Mass, we probably would not have a chance of hanging out for an extended period of time but going with the theory that maybe we weren't meant to pull all our church eggs in one basket, this might be just what I need.

When she told me about the completely dark church with candles at the Saturday Easter Vigil, I felt the unquenched thirst that comes to each of us from time to time. The thing is, I didn't even know I was thirsty until the words came out of her mouth. There are times we are completely unaware that we need nourishment yet it makes itself clearly known. When I stayed with my MIL while she was dying and the LDS church came in and smothered us with Love, I felt the same thing, even told my pastor I was jumping ship and why.

I decided a long time ago that is was Jesus first, church - farther down the list. I am in Catholic state of mind this Easter and maybe, I already in some strange way, have embraced the ritual and formality that I desperately seek, no matter what church I attend this Sunday. May Easter bring your heart what you hunger and thirst for, fill and even overflow wherever you need it too. Happy Easter.

the Sabbath...

My literary companion for the last week has been Dan Allendar's, Sabbath. Usually blow through a book but this one has been one that makes that speed, seem unlikely.

...The Sabbath is the day we play in the light of unrammeled freshness.

What I know about the Sabbath is a bunch of do's and don'ts without a lot of freshness involved. When I have picked up any knowledge of a religion, one of the first things I have been taught is what the rules are for Sundays. The most importance one is church comes first. My understanding has always been that going to church covers a multitude of other sins. The other perspective that less is more. TO not work is the thing that is pleasing - replace it with going to the movies or whatever you do for rest and relaxation.

Growing up, Sunday was a day of dread. When I was small, it was the day my hair got washed and air-dried while sitting on the furnace, Hated every moment of it. Later on, after getting my first hair cut at age 12, it just became the day before school which held equal dread. Can't say that going from an atheists to a believer changed my opinion of Sunday. One was dread, the other obligation - both lacked much joy or happiness.

Sabbath joy is far deeper that mere pleasure, or even happiness

It's not that you can or can't do these activities, it is the attitude of the day. It is a day to totally be in the Moment. To take those activities, even the do's and don'ts and replace them with a new mindset.

We are to clear the way on this day all the debris from the past week and the week ahead - and turn our ears to his delight.

Play in the light of unrammeled freshness - I can hardly wait for Sunday...

the comfort of our lives...

He stayed in this position, sound asleep for over two hours. To his credit, he was hugging his backpack for all of it. Having not flown in over 10 years and not since 911, I knew the rules had changed. Long gone where the days when you met someone as they got off the plane with big cheers and lots of love. Before 911, we never could have imagined how life would change. Now, this is our new normal. Anyone under 10, will never know there was any other way.

Having to take your shoes off, bringing your own drinks and snacks and a watching TV on your own personal screens for $6 are all new. There was a bit of personal comfort knowing that the flight attendants informative presentation, hadn't changed much. What has changed is the flight attendants themselves. I remember when they had to be perfectly coiffed and drop dead gorgeous. That is no longer the case but if you ask me, as long as the plane gets me in one piece to where I am going - I am good.

I was a little lost today. I had no contingency plans if all four flights went well and I lived. Now I find myself trying to gather my bearings and get on with it. First day of spring break brought a movie, ice cream and a little bit of shopping. I can only imagine tomorrow...as I didn't expect to be here, must regroup and move on. Much to look forward to, much to be greatful for and as long as I am hugging my pretty self, this would be a great time to just chill out...

comments...

Had some problems with problematic comments but will try again. Love hearing from you all. It is all about sharing ourselves.

serendipity...

Early in the weekend someone said something about serendipity. Little did I know it would be the theme of the weekend.


What I thought would be a Meet Me In St Louis weekend turned out to be much different. To be blindsided by the great affection of human beings would be more like it. It could be likened to thinking you expected no more than a small piece of bread at your meal and being served a 27 course meal.

I will never forget the Love that was shared. The conversations deep into the night. The hugs of a wonderful two year old. They will be in my heart forever because they allowed a piece of them to be left behind and I scooped them up.

Ladies, I can never thank you enough. We were in the midst of Something much bigger than ourselves. Something we couldn't have seen, or known. It had to be experienced and it was in ways we will never understand but the one thing I do know is that I need to take what I am feeling now and and make it grow. If it can happen in one weekend in St Louis, imagine what it could look like in my everyday life? I think I am ready to find out. I love you guys, thank you for showing me the Way...

leavin on a jet plane...

Just about packed, ready to go. St Louis, ready or not - here I come. The pods are loaded with inspiration from Rob Bell, a lecture from Don Miller and even a mini concert, A Night of 140 Tweets (comedy/ITunes/$2.99) along with the greatest music in the world. A great weekend with my imaginary friends as my gk keep reminding me. I can't wait to show them pictures and make them as real to them as they are to me. It will be a great weekend, no matter what. It will be like when we talk about needing to see Jesus with skin - it will be real, as real as it can get.

These are the eyes I am taking with me. This is what I saw today,

a hug out in front of a house between a man and a woman. Not a romantic hug but one of love touched by loss. It was a hug of grief and anyone who passed by when I did, couldn't miss it.

I learned I am an observer instead of a composer when it comes to taking pictures. Couldn't be happier about it!

the lady in front of me at Walmart that seemed to be hiding one of her purchases and at the last minute, put it on the counter.

the first time I saw my girl, I was awestruck. That feeling has never, ever left me.

Someone told me that they didn't think we would meet face to face before heaven - looks like that will not be the case.

if there is a luckier girl than me, I would love to meet her because me thinks, she would be wrong... Love you all, be back Monday...

our house is a very, very fine house...

While DH was on the roof last night replacing roof shingles, I was in my van in front of the house, watching to make sure I would know if he fell off. There wouldn't be much I could do but my job was not unlike a spotter - if needed, help was only a frantic sprint away.

I love my house. It is a little over 1200 sq feet, with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a TV room. If you do the math, it is obvious that we don't' have a lot of room but it hasn't stopped us from doing what we want to do.It is comfortable, my photos are in every room. I have an office and the gk have their own room. It is a wonderful place to retreat to and the pantry is full. It is exactly the kind of home I would have loved to grow up in. I am tidy but not obsessively. It looks nice when you walk in but if you look close, there would always be something that could use some dusting.

Having a home is still a very humbling experience. Having a safe home with a full pantry, is heaven. In 38 years of marriage we have moved 8 times. The year I turned 16, my family moved 17 times in less than a year. Needless to say, I have house issues.

What I am trying to say is that I over the top grateful for this house. It is the only house Keaton, Gage and Morgan know. It is nana and poppa's house. The park at the front entrance of our subdivision is known as Nana's Park, just as if there was a posted somewhere.

This is not the nicest or biggest house I have ever lived in but like that last few I have lived in. it is my favorite. I am so grateful for everything in it, I am so grateful for that full pantry. The washer and dryer that I can use, whenever I want to. I am grateful for my office which is the gateway to the world and the walls that hold the creativity that I never knew was inside.

Its about being grateful, no matter what and to find the what in everything...

the road from panic to peace...or at least, semi peace

Long before these guys came along, the idea of prayer had eluded me. I can't imagine now, how I would ever have managed not being in a total panic for their safety, well being and general happiness. When I stopped listening to the prayer rules and started just listening, prayer started to make a lot of sense.

From my perceptive, prayer is as much about giving as receiving. It is not so much about results but the journey. The actual prayer part brings as much joy as the answer part. I know it sounds strange but I can't tell you how many times a prayer has brought a physical smile to my face. Over and over and over again.

My favorite prayers to pray are those of the Bigger Picture. Those that are life-changing, miracle material. The smiles speak for themselves. I can honestly say it has been a absolute delight praying for 2 for almost 15 years. Would I like to see results, of course, I would be lying if I said no but there is a part of me, that is very, very comfortable with things just the way they are. Why, because I no longer have to see/know/experience results because of prayer, The prayer is the gift in and of itself. I have another Bigger Picture prayer for one that has not been for such a extended period of time but it came with its own words. I was not left on my own to figure out how and what to pray - it was crystal clear. It is an aggressive prayer, filled with power and the smile on this one comes huge, every time. It is a fun prayer because of its strength because I completely let go and ask God to make make it crystal clear to this one. Leave no answer unanswered.

The last month, a new prayer has been added to all the Bigger Pictures prayers. This time, it is personal.... Do for Them what you did for me . If I thought the smile was big before... now it is indeed, personal. I always think about one particular time when God made himself real to me and that same experience is what I pray during these times. I got to tell you, I have gotten so much out of these times that it has taken me from panic to peace... or semi peace, this side of heaven.

These prayers have become a part of me. I do them automatically and am always open to more. I never really understood about joy in the journey but I do now. It is Something I never, ever saw coming. It is like we are friends. No games, and we both know the Truth is way bigger than what we could ever ask or imagine. How cool is that? It is awesome...

Nella Cordelia...

http://donmilleris.com/2010/03/21/nellas-beautiful-story/


Don is right, grab a tissue. Listen to Nella's mom tell her Story. Be prepared to learn Something you didn't see coming today...Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast, Alice In Wonderland

being neighborly...

The cemetery is less than 1/2 mile from my house. In the middle of a sea of housing neighborhoods and catty corner from a high school. They were there first. This area used to be way outside of town and we slowly have encroached upon these lands and now find ourselves with somewhat, odd neighbors.

I drive by here almost everyday and most days, I am made aware that our days are not ours to expect. Just the other day, there was a funeral and they were getting ready to let go of at least 50 balloons. I wanted to grab my camera but thought better of it. I wanted to watch but had a slew of traffic behind me with no place to pull over but I kept that image in my mind for a few minutes.

Sometimes it just hits me, out of nowhere. This happens alot. I don't know if I am unique but suddenly it just dawns of me, I will not be here forever. Someday, this life will end and there is a shadow of sadness that passes over me. Make no mistake, it will also happen to you. Whether you have less than a day or fifty more years, it will end. We will move on, Death is as real as life. Most of us have experienced the death of someone close to us, someday it will be about us. What a humbling thought.

But before That Day, we will experience the death of many other things in our lives. Not just people although for some, that will be the case. There will be the death of dreams and relationships. There will come a time that we will have to mourn the loss of what is no longer possible and the death of what we thought would always be. My perception is that experiencing these losses won't help a whole lot against the diagnosis of cancer but it does give us a taste of what is Real.

This day, I knew I was to stop at the cemetery. Not just drive by, get out and take a few pictures. I know no one buried here. My only degree of connection is, it is my neighbor. Like Neighbor Mike, we have crossed paths for a reason. The same mentality applies to the Firehouse right down the street from the cemetery where often, I hear the sirens headed out to the next cal. I always stop and pray for wherever they are going. That God will show up and spread His Love. It is just the neighborly thing to do, no matter who your neighbors are...

leperchauns...

Saint Paddy's day at preschool today. The leprechauns broke in, scattered the table and chairs and left a bucket of chocolate coins all over on the floor. Not sure of the origin of this invasion, seems to be somewhat of a santa clone Story but everyone seemed good with it and getting to eat the coins, didn't hurt either,

I was Miss Brandi's assistant. Not DD, she was Miss Shelli today so both classes had a Miss Brandi. Not a lot of confusion, the kids seem to know who belongs to who. After a morning of green cut and paste and coloring, we moved on to a semi-feast of green and white cupcakes. Again, unsure of the reason for the celebration, most seemed very happy, to celebrate the liberal use of green.

In his breakthrough book Buyology, Martin Lindstrom talks about how marketers package their products within rituals, even going so far as to create rituals within which their products can be used. He notes there is no cultural tradition that would have us put a lime in a bottle of Corona, for instance, and how that ritual came about when a marketer placed a bet with a friend at a bar that he could make the masses put a lime in a bottle of beer.

Enjoying a three part series over at Don Miller's blog on rituals and consumerism. I know exactly what he means. Everywhere I have turned today, there has been St Paddy Day sales. I don't know what St Paddy's day is about. Not sure that I understand/or need a sale to celebrate. I did however, notice the shelves of green paper plates and the huge display of corned beef at the store. I am not blaming anyone, seems we are hard wired for this.

Rituals exist because of a need in the human spirit for magical beliefs that their repeated actions are tied to good luck, fortune and security

So, for those of us who don't have a drop of Irish blood, it's ok. The leprechauns, corned beef and a little green - never hurt anybody. Just know that perhaps someone, somewhere is with a friend in a bar and making a bet that he can get you to buy his green mashed pototoes to go with that Irish whisky steak he want to peddle at Applebee's next year...

somedays...

it doesn't take much.

Somedays, it comes so effortlessly.
Somedays, you wonder why you had your big girl panties all up in a wad yesterday.
Somedays, you don't want to leave the house, or get dressed.
Somedays, the idea of picking up your camera is the last thing on our mind.
Somedays, a picture gives you a high no drug ever could.

Each day is different.
Each day brings its own troubles and its joys.
Each day invites you to play along.
Each day gives you a change to do better.

Today, came effortlessly
Today, I played along
Today, I understood that just like snowflakes, no two days are alike.

Little as that may seem, it is huge for me...

satisfied...

The average American encounters 3000 commercial messages each day. Whether this is a radio commercial, a magazine ad, a logo on the side of a coffee cup or a billboard we pass on the highway, these images and messages are designed to cause to you think of your life as incomplete, and desire the product they are selling to make your life complete again.

A standard formula used in many commercials is twofold: 1. To illicit a thought in the viewer that their life is not satisfactory and then 2. To convince the viewer their life could be made satisfactory with the introduction of said product.Donald Miller.

I will so admit, this kind of consumerism works very well on me. I can be perfectly content, see an ad and decide, now, I am missing something which leads immediately to the thought - what else am I missing? Because I understand that I am not alone is this kind of self induced terrorism, somehow helps. Is terrorism too strong a word? Maybe and maybe not. I am under no illusion that anyone trying to get me to buy their product will do ANYTHING to make that happen. Apple is one of those people.

I love Apple ads, and feel the need to get grab my keys and head to the nearest Apple store before the commercial is even over. Since we don't have an Apple Store, it would be a 5 hour trip to Utah or a 10 hour trip to Seattle - either way, not easy task. Apple is the king of advertising and if you haven't been sucked in, you are not paying any attention.

How can one go from satisfied to completely and totally lacking in less than a minute? If you can figure that out, you can sell refrigerators to Eskimos. If you can see one of these 300 ads and say to yourself, I'm good - you really are...

art Love...

We hit the Motherload, he said. While DH was out riding his bike, he found a clump of 37 trains, rich with graffiti, just waiting to be photographed. We have been putting together a visual collage of these trains for about a year and never, ever hit this many. I was so happy. Graffiti does that to me.

While I am a firm believer in, if it is not yours, don't touch it... Graffiti on rail cars is here to stay and there is some fun talent out there. There is also a big difference between the haves and have nots, not necessarily when it comes to talent but paint. It is obvious that some use quality paint and it shows. I have seem some great designs but for the lack of rich paint color. seem to fade into the background and miss their just dues.

I marvel at what I see. Did they do this under the cover of night, not to be caught and what do they do for lighting? These are intricate works of art. Unlike an artist who had a studio with light streaming in from a side window. One who is able to stop after a long day and pick up tomorrow when the lighting is new and fresh - the graffiti artist doesn't have those kinds of liberties. Time and lighting are not on his side. Either is a moving train. Are they ever in the middle of a project just to see their art head on down the tracks, never to be seen again? Maybe that is part of the excitement of this kind of artist. The funny thing is God is not fair when it comes to talent. He doesn't give those who believe in him, an extra little something.

We may not like that but we call the works if such artists un-christian or non-christian at our own peril. Christ has always worked in ways which seemed peculiar to many men, even his own followers. Frequently the disciples failed to understand him. So we need not feel that we have to understand how he works through artist who do no consciously recognize him. Neither should our lack of understanding cause us to assume that he can not be present in their work... Madeleine L'Engle

Whether you see it as art or vandalism, is one thing. Realizing where the talent comes from is another. Both might seem unfair but that is what life is about. Learn it now and everything will start to fit in place...

looking out the window...

To see I have often been in the right place at the right time. Cathy Zielske

Most mornings, I jump out of bed and head to the front door to peek at the weather. Looking for obvious signs of what to expect if I am leaving my cozy world. If I were to look out the window of my door and proclaim that what I see is what it is like everywhere else, would be foolish to say the least, yet I do it continually.


Was watching the Convergence series with Donald Miller and Phyllis Tickle last night entitled, Learning to Share Our Shories. Side note - these series of discussions would be perfect for a small group or retreat time setting. Plan to do that one day - so much to think about and grow... The point was to why do you need to share the Story of our lives. Why does it matter and how do you decide what to share. Ms Tickle talks about how the Story first is felt in the heart and then is literally regurgitated back out, and that is when the mind get to see it.

So it seems natural to me, that when we look out the window of our Stores, we are looking through our experiences, histories and how we have be a witness to how life is played how as we know it which gives one a one dimensional view of the world and we reply by viewing it as such.

I think I am a Big Picture girl. I think I see the Bigger Picture most of the time. I find my biggest struggles when I am living in the little world and get bogged down real fast.

I am headed to St Louis in less than 2 weeks. To meet 3 people I have never met in person yet would know them, their kids and grandkids if I saw them at Walmart, The reason why this non-travel person wants to go is Story. These wonderful women have shared their Stories with me for a long time. They know mine. Without Story, I don't think there would much value in such a weekend trip for any of us. I would still be by my window imaging that St Louis looks pretty much like Nampa and I might as well stay home.

The Bigger Picture. My brain is a little full. I got to connect more of life's dots last night and as it all slipped into place. I smiled. It's not everyday that it happens so completely...




the Big Picture takes some effort - maybe for some, more than some.

Strong women...

Quite a week. Started the week knowing that Layla Grace had one foot in heaven and one still here. Her fight is now over. Her family will now start the healing process and try to find a new normal. May God bless them real good.

Been pulled emotionally back and forth all week. I am reminded again that the focus of my life is who God is to me and everything else, revolves around that point of reference. How I respond, what I think and how that plays out. When it comes down to it, there are few things to throw myself on the sword for but if I get it wrong, it could spoil my day.

Have had a few conversations this week about strong women. I know I am one, sometimes too strong. From my perspective, being strong doesn't mean a extrovert or being every one's best friend. You can be an introvert and still have a strong personality. If Mary say one thing and Sally another, the strong woman listens but isn't swayed from a false sense of needing to be everything to everybody. She know where she comes from but isn't sure where she is going. That takes real strength.

I think of all the women who have crossed my path in my lifetime and still marvel. The women who lose babies too earlier. The ones who love their children fiercely. The women who do the same thing, day in and day out for those God has given to them to take care of.

Ladies, do you know how strong you really are! Do you know that tomorrow is another day and if you feel like you were nowhere near the mark today, you are strong enough to dust yourself off and go again. You are beautiful, a woman to proud of. Strong in your womanhood...You Go Girl!

newspaper 101...

It was after 6PM last night when the phone rand and this delightful, yet totally unprepared 21 year old man from our former newspaper called. He wanted to know why we canceled our subscription. We will never know how he wishes than he dialed a wrong number. Never.

We went on to have a 20 minute conversation about our local newspaper. I got to do my newspaper routine and he was left stunned. I even entered the arena of his job security.

If you are the Editor, what are you going to do to make sure you have a job in 20years? Do you really think trying to get people to buy the newspaper because of the coupons can be seen as anything more than a defensive posture?

The poor guy. We talked about value. The only place he tried to defend was in the area of Investigative Reporting. Again, I apologize.

Since yesterday, I already know that the Boise Police officer who retired 5 days ago and has been arrested and charged with child molestation with 5 children, ages 1- 21 months (sorry about the detail, it was pertinent to his question) and that as of this afternoon, 13 more people have come forward. What more could the newspaper add.

This isn't brain surgery but I did point out that his paper has decided it is better to be defensive than pro-active. If I have a product that by my own definition is aimed at people 60-80 years old and not to be crass, but you are losing your consumer on a daily basis, isn't it time to make some drastic changes. I told him the That Powers That Be need to get 5 people like me but not me, to sit in a room and get honest. Honest enough that allowing the loud voices to fly would be encouraged. Even their on-line paper is unattractive and impossible to navigate through.Who would continue to buy this product, I asked him. Do you really think you will have a job here in 5 years? 10 years? By this time, the poor guy, I am sure, is wishing for the wrong number thing. Maybe I should go to college, he said out loud, at one point. What have I done now?

He was a nice man and I hope whatever career he chooses next, will have a longer shelf life. At least a field that will be around for most of his working career. Should one desert a sinking ship? A ship that has charted its own course and decided that hitting the iceberg is the best plan? Go ahead if you want to but I think it is time to get Real...

with tears in my eyes...

Layla went to play with the angels early this morning. Rest in peace precious Layla. 11/26/2007 - 3/9/2010 ...

the marriage bed...

I saw a family photo on Tara Whitney's blog last week and it just set this whole idea in motion. She had all her family just come up on the bed, turned on the self timer and made magic.

I want to think that it is the same bed that she and her hubby made all their babies on. It is also the place she nursed them, read to them and brought them after a scary dream. Maybe that is a bit naive..but it is most certainly, working for me.

This is our fifth bed in thirty eight and a half years. The first one is the one we made our baby in. It was also in that bed that I realized Something was wrong one morning when I couldn't get out of said waterbed and soon found out I was pregnant, There were a more waterbeds to come and finally three years ago, when I got out of bed in the middle of the night and my feet were wet, the waterbed era came to an end. We are now on one of those therapeutic mattress and all is good with the world. In a perfect world, we would still be sleeping on that first bed. Not because of comfort but rather because of history.

The marriage bed is a Place like no other. Everything takes place here. From eating and drinking to play and lets just say, more play. We watch movies, read books, talk and argue. Many, many conversations - some fun, some not so fun, take place here. It is a Place to go when you are cold, whether from the world or the weather. It is a Place where you should spend some of that hard earned money. Sheets that make you swoon, a bedspread that makes you smile. I am not talking about spending the family fortune. Microfiber ones from Costco that cost $30 and they feet so good. I do much of my prayer here and it always occurs to me, there is no place I would rather be.

When I am by myself, it is never by choice. As the years go by, I think about how Someday, one of us will be sleeping alone, not by choice. I love those nights when I decide to bring out my stand up comedy routine and there is so much laughing going on. I also think about those night when it is ice cold, although nothing has changed but those in the bed.

The marriage bed is a magical Place. I wouldn't trade mine for the world...

insomnia...

Is hope about now or later.
Is it a ticket for a train or a plane?
the journey of hope,
Is it for the here and now
or Something to hold on to
until the invisible becomes visible.
A Someday ticket, that until it comes, fills the void.
Might we humans wish, there was no such thing as hope?
if hope doesn't exist, that means all is well- right now this every minute.

Hope, we don't need you, immediate gratification is ours for the asking.
A world without hope, what would that look like?
When hope is gone, what takes it's place?

Is it better or worse?
Are we happy or sad?
Do we feeling like something is missing?
Is it easier to find or lose hope?
What will you hold on to if hope doesn't exist?
Does believing in God bring automatic hope?
Is hope still there if you don't believe?
or would you even care?

Do you see hope as a crutch, used only when one is weak?
Are you scared to hope?
Do you consider hope a weakness, to be overcome at any and all costs?
Does hope bring any comfort? Is it suppose too?

How often do you hope? Daily or only when you are feeling a bit strange?
How would you describe hope to a child? or would you?
Do we need hope to survive? When was the last time you hoped for something?

This is why I have insomnia. Welcome to my world...

2 truths and a lie...

Jimmy Fallon played this game with John Lithgow the other night. You tell the other person 2 true things and one lie and they have to decide which is the lie. Sounds simple enough and they were both able to pick the lie. I, on the other hand, was wrong on both counts.

It seemed perfectly obvious to me that while drunk, Jimmy Fallon would crawl into a cage with a St Bernard - doesn't that just scream true? As did the suggestion that John Lithgow had gone to veterinary school for two years. Maybe it is a Hollywood thing, like you have to run in those circles and then you would be in the know.

So, let's play and see how you do! Here go three statements - which one is the lie?

1. After sitting in the car for almost an hour, I took my underage self into a bar in the middle of the desert and dragged my father out to the car. We were on our way from California to Idaho and he got thirsty.

2. Right out of high school, I worked for Ma Bell as a Directory Assistance operator. I got a call from a soldier who had just come back from Vietnam and needed the name of a local motel. Even though I was being monitored and suggesting ANYTHING meant instant termination, I did it anyway and didn't lose my job.

3. I was about 7 and playing with my sister. I tripped her and she fell, hurting her ankle. She got to pick out a toy and being who she is, she picked an Styrofoam airplane and as she lounging in a chair, I had to retrieve the airplane for a whole day as she threw it, over and over and over again. I was also was her beverage and snack slave.

Which one is the lie? I didn't go in the bar. My Soon To Be Stepmother did. I waited in the car with my sister and step sister. He never did that again.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

normal...right now.

JESS3 / The State of The Internet from JESS3 on Vimeo.

We talked about the internet at bookclub last night. Where is it going and what is it going to look like? Is it a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it is here to stay and this is what normal looks like for us now...

Occam's razor...

entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, is the principle that "entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity" and the conclusion thereof, that the simplest explanation tends to be the best one. Wikipedia

Caught this on Cash Cab, and it peaked my interest. For one who is curiosity-free, 90% of the time - when it happens I quickly, pay attention.

The simpler the answer the better is the basic premise. We human are the greatest at understanding and implementing this concept. Simple always seems to come out, complicated and confusing. We don't feel like we have gotten or giving our money's worth with the simple. We live by the complicated Golden Rule,

I asked what time it is and you told me how to build a clock.

The question the 2 year old asks, Where do babies come from - is a completely different one than asked by a 12 year old. It also deserves a completely different answer. Life is certainly not a One Size Fits All, even though many of our paths cross and intersect with each other.

What separates us from animals is our ability to complicate most everything. If I could wave a Magic Wand over the whole world, it would be to sprinkle a little Occam's razor on everyone ... but alas, no such wand exist. Doesn't mean I can pray and hopefully some of it will just, rub off... or I can round up all the first graders that are thanking their 4th grade reading buddies. Seems like they have their stuff together...

Layla Grace...

Ryan Seacrest interviewed LG's mom this morning on his radio show. Her mom explained a bit about her disease and Layla's progression toward heaven. She said she was told Layla wouldn't be alive last week, and the week before that. While she is still alive,(as of this posting) it is not a quality of life that any of us would want for our children. She sleeps when her pain is under control which has been an issue because she is allergic to morphine. She has not eaten in 14 days which is the natural progression of death. Because of her not eating, acid is building up and causing her a whole different kind of pain. No tsure if her sisters are still at their grandma's house or home. Her parents are at her side constantly and many nights, just hold her.

Momma was brave when talking to Ryan Seacrest and said on Twitter, she almost lost it. He asked her how she keeps it together and she says, I don't. She said you don't feel the crying when blogging but her keyboard is wet with her tears. I can't imagine losing my baby in such a slow, painful manner.

Those of us who have been following this Story, have one foot with her at all times. She and her family are never far from our thoughts. That is what social networking has done. With Audrey Grace, then Stellan and many more, my heart has been touched like never before. I hope that part, never changes.

But, life is balance so here are a few Happies that made me chuckle...

spring cleaning...

So under the heading of spring cleaning, I had a conversation a while ago and the questions was, If you had to choose, which would you rather be lose - sight or hearing.

I have had this conversation with myself at least million times. My heart tells me that the loss of music would be unbearable. My mind tells me that to lose sight would feel fatal. Not been able to see who is coming my way, or who's way I would be crossing, is a big deal for me. So, reluctantly I would say I would voluntarily lose my hearing. Until this conversation.

My debate companion also had a particular choice with just as strong sentiments as mine and her choice was the opposite of mine. She thought it would be intolerable to be alone with her thoughts. I was floored.

My thoughts for the most part, comfort me. I value their opinions especially when they speak, one at a time. There are days when one just screams and screams in my ear and will not stop! Those days, not so much but for the most part, we are great friends.

I imagine our reasons come from the same place, deep inside the human brain. Fears real and that we carry with us everyday. Would love to say that once you discover them that all they need is a quick sweep to send them packing but it just doesn't happen that way. It takes work, hard work to rid our heads of all the dirt and cobwebs that take up valuable brain space. For each of us, it will take a lifetime of sweeping and cleaning, the job will never be finished. There will always be Spring Cleaning to do be down - it is just the way it is...