With the announcement this week of a dear friend girl's wedding later this year, here are few things I wish Someone had told me when my girl got married. Admittedly, I have never had a son but having a father, husband, son in law and grandson, thinking I have a pretty fair handle as it relates to being a in law.
You will always, be the mother, Always. The thing is that role becomes secondary when your child chooses a mate. The responsiblilty for making that shift, for the new Season of life for everyone, lies with you.
You are no longer, nor should you be, the stronghold of their lives.
You no longer have the Final Say.
You do not come first, any more.
Your words may or may not be taking into consideration.
You are not a silent partner, you have an active role to play.
And most importantly, if your child doesn't understand this shift, it is up to you to whoe them the way. It is our job to send them in the direction of a healthly relationship. It is no longer about what you as a parent thinks, it is know time to be a support and that may mean getting tough when said child wants to run back to the comfort of home.
Think it is tough now, wait until babies come. That brings a whole new set of responsiblities. When to speak, when to shut up. Make no mistake, your heart strings will be pulled like never before but this isn't a Season of just sitting back. You need to understand your part and help make the new couple's chances of not being in the over 50% failure rate. Extended family can make or break a couple. Time to grow up. You have the power, make sure to use it wisely, even if it hurts like crazy...
Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org at Wednesday, February 15, 2012