Aretha Franklin was stunned at the news of her goddaughter, Whitney Houston's death. MSNBC

Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston. Is stunned really the word we want to use? Over the last few days, one keeps hearing that word when referring to someone to whom risky behavior was the norm. This is not about the morality but the consequences of deciding to use drugs/alcohol. This is about the dangers that we are all aware of, so to say you are stunned at an almost by the book ending, seems a bit odd to me.

We all know people in our lives that are grossly obese because they have treated food just like the drug addict, treats their addiction and can honestly say I have never heard anyone say they were stunned by the death of someone who weighs 500 pounds.

We are not stunned when we not blindsided. When we have watched addiction of choice lived out in front of us. With us, when we have discussed and worried and discussed again and again. Stunned, not possible.

To shock or suprise.

Stunned is being there to see a sunset, or experiencing an unexpected gift of love. It is Something magical, and comes completely by surprise. It you are part of people's lives, you are part of their choices and you will never be stunned, by the reality of consequences. Theirs or yours...