David Letterman makes 40 million a year, Jay Leno - 23 million. Dave makes more because CBS had to woo him from NBC. Katie Couric makes more than Brian Williams and Charlie Gibson, even though she has the least viewership. Oprah makes 423 million a year - imagine that. Chad and Steve who started You Tube less than 2 years ago - sold it a while back to Goggle for 1.6 billion dollars. Pretty good investment for 2 years work.
It is pretty obvious that most of these people could have worked for 45 minutes and retired to a desert island, living the life of luxury and never work another day their entire life but it must not be about money. How many million do you need? How many billion do you need? That tells me that they are working for another reason. If not money, then what? What would make a person continue? The only thing that makes sense is the power of me...
You don't have to make millions to to be absorbed in the power of yourself but it is a little more difficult. I was raised by folks who had no financial means but still had an air about themselves. They truly believed they were better than most folks. Sometimes I think that arrogance kept them going when it would have been easier to give up. It was kinda of like, we could if we wanted to...but we don't want to. That same power that saved them emotionally, hurt them terribly, spiritually.
I spend a fair amount of time trying to balance having too much or too little self esteem. If one is off balance in either direction, trouble soon follows. I want to feel that God has Something for me if I open the door for Him and that I am teachable, willing and grateful. I also want to be aware that if I won't do something, there is someone that will. I am not indispensible nor the one and only. I am a part of His Plan and He loves me. If I can accept that and live my life with that conviction, the power of me, can become less. I know it will always be a process and I won't always make the right choice.
One of my favorite photography quotes is from Diane Arbus, I really believe there are some things which nobody would see unless I photographed them. We are each here to tell a Story. The only power that any Story should hold is Jesus. It is His Story told thru our lives. Because we are all different, our Stories will all be different but will all be going in the same direction.
Most of the time, I am very well aware that this blog is not mine. Once in a while, I forget. I love the photos, the layouts and the Stories and can't wait to share. This ER journey has always been about me learning to live in the moment - if I stop showing up for class - the journey is over. For now, I will continue to tell My Story and do my mighty best to keep the power of me, to a minimum...
