trash...

It is its own religion, this love. Uncontainable, savage and without end, it is what I feel for my child... Comeback/ Claire and Mia Fontaine.

I can't remember too many times that I have knocked on the door at Brandi's house and not heard the shriek of one or all my grandkids yelling, NANA'S HERE !!! You hear footsteps running toward the window - they know to look outside to make sure it is nana even if they see my van - before they open the door. The greeting continues with hugs and kisses as I greet each one and ask how they are. I try to listen to each one as they are all trying to tell me Something going on in their world, FIRST. Everyone gets a good dose of nana love and then we move on. I know it won't last forever and delight in each and every one of these moments.

Kids don't always care about the same things that we do. The things that make them happy is knowing that we love them. Really love them. Our job as parents (and grandparents) is to make sure they have that security so when those times where there has to be Tough Love, they know that after it is all said and done, they are still loved. I came from a home where that was not the case and we knew it. When the Tough Love came, there was no security to fall back on. The Way the parents lived their lives - made it very clear what was important and it wasn't children.

What do we model to our kids about themselves? How would your kids define the way you feel about them? What are they watching you do - Good and Bad? I know so much more now than when I had my baby girl. I am a better grandparent than parent and I hope that I have shared that security in a fuller, richer way with her.

We all have things in our lives that need to go. Even parents. They need to be put in a trash bag and set out at the curb for pick up. They need to go. Being a parent doesn't mean letting them walk all over you. If you give children the security of Love and they choose a different way, that is not about you.

I told a friend today that I can't go out and be to the world without having the security of knowing I am Loved. There have been many things I have had to trash during my life, expectations, beliefs and life grooves. Something like a Life yard sale - somethings don't fit anymore.

About 830 in the morning, I will be knocking on Brandi's door again and I know how I will be greeted. More importantly, They know how they will be greeted. They know exactly what is coming and lavish in the Love. No trash talk, just Words of Love...

competition...

I do not think of myself as a competitive person. My nature is not so much to beat you at something as to beat you up - that I understand. Even the definition of competition makes me uneasy.

competition (kom/pi/tish/en)
1. rivalry for supremacy
2. a contest for prize, honor or advantage
3. a struggle among organisms.

Reminds me of some of the church activities I have sadly been a part of, especially that game at Sunday School Christmas Parties where you bring an unopened gift and you take turns taking it away from each other - I have seen it turn ugly, often fighting over a $2.99 ceramic figurine

I realize after having grandboys that most everything can be defined or settled by a little competition. Those boys wrestle over just about everything. One says something to the other and it is GAME ON. Is that a boy thing?

I say all that to say, I entered a contest yesterday. As of about three minutes ago, there were 1828 other people who entered. That is a lot of competition and I am not expecting to win because I already have. I absolutely LOVED my offering. Whether I win the $400 Home Depot card for DH or not, my submission has made me laugh all day. After I read the Pioneer Woman's requirements, I knew what it should be. I don't envy her having to read 1829 comments and pick a winner. How could you possible do that? Maybe it is not fair to say I don't compete. I don't compete against you - I compete with myself. The rivalry is between my ears, in the deep grey matter that fills up in my head. Once I am happy, the rest just doesn't matter to me.

I have won a few times - an essay contest for the local paper that made me $250 dollars richer. It was one of those things that made me happy before I was even sure I would send it in. I won a homemade Valentine card contest too. They came out to the house and took my picture surrounded by my cards but that wasn't as important as making the cards for the people I love.

Now, we have the bovine photo contest. One of us will be the winner by tomorrow afternoon. No matter how it goes, I am a happy girl, If you can make yourself laugh, in a good way, you have got the world by the tail...

confession...

Confessions of a Pioneer Woman

My good friend and I have a new BFF. So far, we seem to be sharing her just fine. My good friend is starting to understand why I don't read books anymore. Course if she hadn't been reading a book, we never would have discovered Pioneer Woman.

Having just discovered her, I have many months of posting to go thru but I must say I can not imagine anything greater than her impersonations of Ethel Merman. For a 30 something girl, she certainly has it going on. She makes me laugh, out loud, snorting and other bad things.

It became common knowledge last night that one of our senators is in Big Trouble. Everyone can believe what they want but it's certainly is a Sad Story. His life, his family's life will never be the same. When the same problem has dogged you for over 25 years, it is hard to blame it on everybody else. It can't always be Someone Else's fault nor a mistake. Confession is not only good for the soul, it is the first step to healing. All the experts say, his career is over but there is still time for him to salvage his life if he comes clean, not for the world but for himself.

Miss Ree, on the other hand, confesses to just about everything. In our world where the surprises just keep on coming, I am indebted to Pioneer Woman and those who help me keep it real...

PS, That is Mable and she is pregnant. A true Lady in Waiting...

18 million who want to learn...

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Our town shut down the local skateboard park last week. They said it was due to vandalism. Visit any town, in any city and you will see multiple signs all around town that point out that skateboarding is prohibited. I don't think most people associate skateboarders in the positive. It is not right or fair but it is what it is and usually, people look no further.

If we keep thinking the same things, we will keep coming up with the same answers. For just the length of this video, forget about what you think you know about skateboarders and see what is possible. I have know the hearts of KKSM for many years and have watched this skateboarders grow up physically and spiritually. They speaks from their hearts and while they may not be your idea of evangelists, that is EXACTLY what they are.

Mama E. sent me this video on a day that I had a hard time lifting my eyes upward. I have always lived vicariously thru KKSM and they have so generously shared so much of their Story with me. God has blessed them with a ministry that few of us could be a part of. These kids would spot a wannabe in a heartbeat and when KKSM hits the stage, these kids know - theya re the Real Deal so when Luke or Elijah introduce them to Jesus, they too know - He is the Real Thing.

I sat watching the demo wiping tears away from my eyes. God is alive and working thru His people. The Church of the Board. The Church of the Wheel. The Church where Love is King. Thanks, you guys for listening to the Still Small Voice of Jesus and doing His thing...

maid in China...

Both photos today are from the Geswein family blog. They are spending the next 2 years in China teaching and she is a digi girl that is sharing her and her family's Chinese experiences in a fun, interesting way.

As you read these two DVD covers, it helps explain why we are experiencing the current problems with China that we are. As of last Wednesday, the Consumer Protection Safety Commission has banned over 300, 000 products from China. From lead paint and magnets issues for toys to problems with diabetic test strips and other vital medical issues, we have found ourselves in Big Trouble. Go to any store, pick up any item and you can see why these is a REALLY big problem for the Chinese. 3 CEO's of different Chinese companies have committed suicide because of the shame issues attached to these recalls. Can you imagine any American CEO in that same position?

I wonder what the average China person thinks of us? If they watch any American TV, maybe not much - so they don't feel so bad about us buying all their stuff. Made in China - not so much a point of pride here. If the information/language gap is such a problem, I don't want to be using those medical products on my family. I don't want my grandkids playing with toys that are unsafe for any reason. Have we become so stuff oriented that we are willing to buy ANYTHING if it is the right price?

The language thing really bothers me - both directions. I hope that the American churches that are over in China are doing a better job at explaining Christ to those folks. That the love of Christ is full, rich and forever. If those details are not shared, the Chinese could really get lost in translation. Even Mel Gidson, would have a hard time sharing and that, would be a shame...

happy...

I have always thought being happy was somewhat of an oxymoron. My interpretation of achieving happiness was dependent upon circumstances. If everything was going well, if I got to purchase that next goodie I had been salivating over. To me, happy could be gone in an instant and would only return when the good stuff did. It makes me very uncomfortable when someone says that a person deserves happiness. I am a big believer that we don't deserve much of anything after all He has already done in His Love for us.

Happy - (hap/e)
1. delighted, pleased or glad
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure or contentment.
3. fortunate or lucky.

I woke up yesterday morning with a little black cloud following me around. Not unlike a low grade depression, the cloud and I are familiar with each other. I have known it all my life. Now days, I see the cloud less as the enemy and more as something to be endured for a hopefully, short time. There is no rhyme or reason. I can be having a great life as I have this week and the cloud just appears. As I cruised the digi boards during the afternoon, one of the threads read, How Happy Are You?, I had nothing to lose so I click on the link which directed me to Oprah.com and took the Satisfaction with Life test. Five questions with a scale of 1-7. A total of 35 possible points.

1. In most ways, my life is close to ideal.
2. The conditions of my life are excellent.
3. I am satisfied with my life.
4. So far I have gotten the important things in life.
5. If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.

6
6
7
7
7

That was my score, 33. On a day that the little black cloud was so obviously a big part of my day. Truthfully, I am amazingly satisfied with the life I have. The tears are flowing as I write these words. In the midst of everything, I have learned that happy is not about bigger, better, more or perfect. In the midst of where I am on any given day, perhaps I am able to see the Bigger Picture. I can't tell you what a gift that is. I can't imagine ever having another day when I see the little black cloud follwing me, that I won't remember today.

Anna Quindlen's book, A Short Guide To A Happy Life, ends with telling about Story doing a Story on how homeless people suffer in the winter months...
...He and I sat on the edge of the wooden supports, dangling our feet over the side and he told me about his schedule, panhandling the boulevard when the summer crowds were gone, sleeping in a church when the temperature went below freezing, hiding from the police amid the Titl-A-Whirl and the Cyclone and some of the seasonal rides.... and I asked him why. Why didn't he go to one of the shelters? Whey didn't he check himself into the hospital for detox. And he stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view". And every day, in some little way, I try to look at the view. That's all. Words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. When I do what he said, I am never disappointed. . Me too...

overwhelmed...

This has been one of those weeks. Full to the brim with lots and lots of fun things but as with everything, we introverts feel the need for less speed. That is tough to do when you have music running thru your mind.

I remembered her from the first time. I have never heard the violin played like this. As Lucia Micarelli played, I was transported to a different time and place. When I saw her last night - I hoped she would reprise Nocturne/Bohemian Rhapsody from the first time but instead she introduced us to Kashmir.

As I went thru my day, her music playing in the background of my mind. It reminds me of the ebb and flow of life. Life, when things are going well and times when, it appears that it couldn't get any worse. Pain and joy co-habitating, side by side. My week has been rich and full. I am feeling overwhelmed but not in a bad way. I am feeling life, all of it.

for the love of Josh...

A few of us spent the evening with Josh Grobin last night - he remembered us. Well, maybe not the four of us in particular but we were his first. Again, not us in particular but his first concert ever was held a few miles down the road. We were his first concert stop on his first concert tour. This time, they moved him to a bigger venue and with a lot of miles of experience behind him, he had not changed a bit.

The music is hard to describe. If you know him, there is no explanation necessary and if you don't, it would be difficult to describe. Suffice it to say, that for a few hours, we were immersed in some of the most gorgeous, moving music you will ever hear. At times, I could feel goosebumps running up my arm. It is music to live life by. It is music to celebrate being alive Today.

Thanks Josh for coming - and for the promise of coming back. You never forget your first, no matter who you are. Thanks for the reminder of celebration. Of music, friends and life. You rock, baby...

state fair...

Monday was a big day for us. It was Gage's 5th birthday, his first day of school and the state fair to celebrate everything. It was a great day with lots of fun and some pretty tired campers at the end of the river- and the kids were tired too.

The state fair has a atmosphere all it own. Less than DisneyWorld but more the neighborhood carnival - there is a little something for everyone. From spin art to an Idaho baked potato - made completely out of ice cream, we managed to pack quite a bit into this fabulous afternoon. When daddy and poppa got there, we finished out the day with some fun rides. Morgan had no fear and wanted to back again and again.

We completely wipe out the notion that fair food has any calories and eat most everything we can get our hands on. The cost of food at the fair bears no resemblance to the food prices outside of the fairgrounds. We allow ourselves to be taken advantage of as we eat that second Pronto Pup or chocolate covered banana. We head home with our wallets much lighter than when we came in and our tummies, feeling somewhat in an uproar.

As we reenter the Real World, we settle back to the familiar setting where a Diet Coke doesn't cost $3.50 an ounce but with a sense that our time in fair world was worth it. A rite of passage where although we could have taken the kids to ToysRUs and bought them anything they wanted, for what it cost to win that stuffed animal - we were sharing an important memory with them, or - we are just plain crazy...

the details...

Watching Bill Maher on Larry King the other night. I like him - and I agree with him about 95% of the time. You might not like him but that is not important to the truth. DH HATES him. Calls him a , well, a not very nice name although he does agree with him alot. He just can't stand him.

Bill Maher says stupid, a lot. Whether directed at people or words, he is an angry man and maybe, rightly so. Sometimes, he and I are on the same path.

Religion - he was talking to Larry King about the afterlife and how neither you or I know exactly what it is going to be like and the religious Right who not only KNOW but go into great detail about what it will be like. He's right, we don't know and we look stupid when take it upon ourselves to share the details.

The older I get, the less I know but what I do know, gets stronger. I would not begin to try to explain the details of heaven. My faith is not grounded in the who, what or why but rather in Christ. Whatever He has planned, fine - I'll find out when I get there. You, me or everyone else - trying to explain the details is pure speculation and most of the time, causes great distress. Spend less time chasing the details and more the Detail Maker. Spend less time trying to explain the unexplainable and more about the love of the Unexplainable One.

Bill is not a terrible guy, he is just a terrible, lonely guy. He has spent too much time listening to the people who define themselves as followers of the Detailed One. He has judged Christ by His people and has been giving much to flee from and he has come up short. He has yet to run into Christ Himself. His day is coming - his tune will change. He is not the first guy to treat God bad and he won't be the last. He is right about a lot of things and he is right about us and the details we share - and we have no one to blame but ourselves. There is nothing wrong with saying, I don't know. I don't know but let me introduce you to the One who does...

yes Virginia, there is a GodTube...

The YouTube movement has opened our eyes to things we could never have imagined. There is everything you could and many you wish you couldn't, imagine. I have googled YouTube for all kinds of things and have rarely been disappointed. I did hope to see my favorite preacher somewhere but alas, he was not. Someday, I may post my own video of him - that reminds me, I must get him on my ITunes. Stephen Manley is his name - a great evangelist from the Nazarene tradition. A few minutes of listening to him and I rememeber why I am a follower of Christ instead of a christian. To me, there is a distinct difference.

It was the natural progression of all things YouTube. I expect there will be more soon. Not sure if I agree that every entity needs their own Tube but that does seem to be how we humans operate. I think I will stay with the Original although I do love this video. If you like this one, there are a few more at you-know-where...

making babies...

I couldn't sleep last night - kept tossing and turning. So when I got home late in the afternoon, with DH still asleep from his shift, I had a little snack and proceeded to dream an all too familiar dream.

Dh and I are driving home from the doctor's office and I feel the baby kick. DH is apparently too stunned to talk because he says nothing. After feeling the baby, I count back from November when the baby is due and am satisfied that everything is on schedule. I am thinking that Brandi will be 35 when the baby comes. 35 - I am desperately trying to wrap my mind around this. We get home and as I leave DH in his catatonic state on the couch in front of the TV, I go into my bedroom to call my stepmother, Ma - guess what God thinks is funny?

I have had this getting pregnant dream for years. Always coinciding with whatever age Brandi is at the time and always accompanied with much screaming and crying, This time, there was a sense of acceptance - all except for DH, don't know what his problem was. As is the case in most of my dreams, I am trying like crazy to dial the phone and can't figure out how to do it. I am giggling at the thought of having children 35 years apart and can't wait to spread the news.

FF to waking up. There is a smile on my face and it isn't because I know it was just a dream. Finally, it dawns on me but the smile is already there. Maybe this is a turning point for me, or maybe my stand up routine has gone too far. Either way, life is good and hopefully, tonight will be peaceful. I can only hope!

for the love of JOB...

Inspired by John Herron's blog, I have decided to do a page for each book of the bible. Like a visual collage of God's word. A short verse in a visual setting.

I have always thought myself to be the audio type. My love of music always made the audio selection, seem like a slam dunk. These days, I am not so sure....

Visual - ( vizh/oo) -1. pertaining to sight, 2. perceptible by the sense of sight and the mind, 3. distinguished from the sound elements.

When I am scrapping or just on my computer, I am finding that I am more and more attracted to visual. Tonight when DH has to work the midnight shift, I need the TV on to even go to sleep and if I can get to sleep - I wake up every 1/2 hour or so. I can't sleep to music - gives me a headache.

On the other hand, I can't drive without music. Like in all other areas of our lives, we change. What worked in our 20's doesn't work in our 40's. What worked in childhood doesn't work in adulthood but I digress...

Using the Message, I want to capture the essence of each book. Something that means Something to me. I started with Job because it is my favorite book in the Old Testament. I am Story - driven, no wonder it is my favorite. The first time I read Job, I hooked by the first sentence.

It is not suffering as such that troubles us. It is undeserved suffering...This is the kind of suffering that bewildered and outraged Job, for Job was doing everything right when suddenly everything went wrong... The Message.

We will never resolve suffering in this lifetime and when I am feeling overwhelmed, I always run to Job. There is a peace there for me that I can't find anywhere else. It is my Genesis - this is where it begins for me...

daily something...

Ran across Ali Edwards' blog yesterday and she inspired me. She was talking about those dry times times where creativity has flown the coop and is nowhere to be found. She talks about doing something creative everyday...

Every single day of our lives presents us with a story to tell...

So I head to the grocery store, do my thing and head out to my car. This 65 ish year old guy has flowers in one hand and a sack of groceries in the other. I realize this is my daily something and am fighting with my purse to get my camera out. As I wrestle with the tiny camera bag, this guy is marching toward his car. I finally get the camera turned on, but he has shifted his purchases to one hand while his other hand searches his pocket for his keys. I aim the camera in his general direction and hit the button, not having a clue as to what I actually got. Daily something - looks like it could grow on me.

His license plates said, Mama C. Wonder if Mama C was in for a treat? The chemo had taken its toll and her energy was zapped. He had been so good about everything. For a man who worked all his life at manly endeavors, he certainly has taken to housework. His cooking isn't bad either. When I thank him for all his help, he just shrugs his shoulders. You would sure do the same for me, he says, No big deal. I never would have imagined it would be like this. It is easier to be the caretaker than to be the one being taken care of but I just feel so weak. The garage door slams shut and I hear him walking toward my bedroom. Need a few things, he said as he grabbed his keys and headed for the car. He walks in with this paper-wrapped bundle of red roses - they are my favorite, He remembers. I burst out in tears and he just holds me...

That is what I think his story is and because I will never know for sure - that is how it will be, at least in my head...

clutter...

I am finished with the wedding pics after backing up everything several times so I deleted them off my chip - 829 photos. That is way too many - way, way too many to keep. Probably got 100 - 150 that were good enough to keep. The weeding out process was tough - at times, I needed another set of eyes to say yea or no. Saturday, I took over 150 photos while scouring the country side at a winery, nursery and the lake ...I am running out of hard drive space.

I LOVE TLC's, Clean Sweep, even in re-runs. Peter Walsh is a Master at clutter and spent part of the afternoon reading his, It's All Too Much book. An Easy Plan For Living A Richer Life With Less Stuff. My personality is such that I have to pick up my house - can't stand most things out of place but have parts of me, that collect clutter in different ways. Here is one of his insights to the effects of clutter...

Clutter is insidious, a slow but steady tide. It enters your home little by little, usually over years. Clutter sucks life away. It leaves you depressed, overwhelmed, lacking motivation and unable to breathe. Clutter prevents you from enjoying the most precious, intimate moments in life. Clutter robs you of far more that the space it occupies - it steals your life...

While my home may not be cluttered, there are others areas where clutter is sucking the life out of me. Not unlike tripping over stacks of magazines or searching endlessly for the electric bill, the clutter that we carry around in our hearts and mind could bring the same symptoms as a untidy home. Suffocating in mental clutter could make one crazy, pretty quick. Being buried by the clutter of expectations could drive a girl to drink.

I am going to study his solutions and see if there is some way to apply it to the clutter of my life. I want to live a richer life with less stuff, whether physical or mental - or both. In the meantime, I am going to clean out my office and the hall closet - one can always let go of Something...

the world belongs to the young...

Drew Carey is the new face of The Price Is Right, replacing Bob Barker while Franklin Graham has taken his father's place on the world's spiritual stage. Jay Leno is slated to give my beloved Tonight Show to Conan O' Brian while it is looking like Jimmy Fallon will be the new Conan. It has been rumored that Ryan Seacrest may take over Larry King's spot and Joe Scarborough has replaced Don Imus.

Speaking of the young, they don't get their news from the Big Three at 5PM every night. Brian Williams, Kate Couric and Charlie Gibson best have a back up plan. The world of the young is defined by text messaging, YouTube and instant everything. I think the local newspaper, as we know it today, is already a dinosaur - DH still wants to read it but if it was up to me, I would not subscribe another day. When I got up this morning and wanted to know the latest on the trapped miners in Utah, I checked with MSNBC.

It is the natural order of things - I think it is true that the world belongs to the young. Ready or not guys - here it comes! Young - please remember to have some manners. It is a sign of polite society and that is not such a bad thing. Remember that everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, even though you had 2nd grade skills before you hit the classroom because everything is moving faster and faster.

I don't know all the new guys at Saturday Night Live and if it wasn't for ITunes, I would be music-challenged but there is apart of me that understands you and hopes to hang on for a while. I always hear people say they belong to the 60's or the pioneer days or are Renaissance biased. I was made for the tech world. I can't get enough. The digital world is in my blood. A boomer in a young world, nothing could be better. Now if I could only get Jay Leno to change his mind about Conan...

riding the wave...

I have certain themes that randomly, repeat thru my mind. several times a year. I have never tracked them to see if there is a pattern to when they show up but I am always aware of their existence. I dare say they are like my personal parables. This one has been around for the last few days and I am just riding the wave.

Here it is - how can you explain to someone that is better to work for minimum wage at McDonalds when he can sell drugs on the street corner for a whole lot more money in a whole lot less time ?

Not growing up with a lot of right and wrong teaching, I am aware that for what other people would come naturally, doesn't for me. We all spend our lives trying to do life Bigger, Faster, Quicker, Smarter and that for some of us, right and wrong never factors in. We live in a world that at every turn tells us - Bigger, Faster, Quicker, Smarter.

less is More is getting harder and harder to sell. Each generation seems to have a tougher time seeing the trees for the forest. Maybe it is in the presentation - somehow, we have to get past trying to sell Bigger, Faster, Quicker, Smarter as the Ultimate and to do that, we have to be convinced ourselves first. I have hope - I remember the 60's. Until then, I will continue to ride the wave and when I see a kid coming down the block, standing on the corner - staking out his territory, I don't think I will bring up the idea of employment at McDonalds. Maybe just get him a Bite to eat...

fast forward...

no picture today...no layout either.

I have been creatively challenged for the last few days. My POTD has suffered, I have days with nothing to show. Not because I forgot but because I just didn't do it. I thought about it on Saturday during the yard sale, but couldn't bring myself to walk 20 feet to my purse to grab my camera. Call it burn out or whatever but it is like when my introverted personality kicks in and goes inward. I just could not take a creative step to save my soul. For a few days last week, I became a beach bum without the beach.

I got the courage to ask my girl about a Trash The Dress session. Thinking she would said no, I was stunned when she said yes. We may have a dress and are looking at doing the TTD shoot next week. I am starting to feel better. There is a slow burn on its way... I can feel it.

We all lose our way from time to time - in all areas of our lives. It is part of who we are. We can't always go forward. It is not realistic to expect to. I think you are setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations if you think it is always about going forward. During this dry spell, I thought lots of thoughts. More than usual. I thought about life, people and seasons of life. Sometimes, I thought about nothing, nothing at all.

While I can't say I really enjoyed this time, I see the need for it. I am ready to join the world of the creative, once more. Times like these can keep one humble, can give you a true chance to look a little deeper and gives you a chance to regroup... Fast Forward to today, and I am ready to go...

patience...

If there is a short list for humans with patience, Barbara Morgan must surely be near the top of it. Our local hometown girl was the backup Teacher in Space candidate to Christa Mcauliffe who perished 22 years ago in the Challenger disaster. Barbara is ready to lift off herself tomorrow and will surely carry her friend Christa in her heart, even after all these years.

Saw a little clip this morning of Ms Morgan on the Today chatting with Katic Couric. Barbara told Katie that it would be at least 2 years before she would have an opportunity to finish what her friend had started. Katie asked her, Could it take longer? Barbara gave a vague answer about not thinking it would be a long amount of time. How wrong she was.

Patience - The bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain without complaint. The ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

I can imagine no one with more patience that Barbara Morgan and the 22 years she has waited to fulfill a mission. I truly don't know if she is a hero or crazy but I do admire the patience she has exercised in front of all of us. My experience with patience has been fleeting, virtual non-existing. My anger level can go from 1 - 1 million in a sec. I am not a long term goal girl - can't see too far in front of my face. The only other place I have seen this kind of patience is Jesus. You would think even a bit of it would rub off on me.

I will be thinking about Barbara as she lift off in Florida on Wednesday afternoon, and her husband Clay, who watched as the Challenger exploded 22 years ago and prays that his wife will not suffer the same fate. Maybe it is he who deserves the Patience award, standing by her all these years, knowing the dangers firsthad. Their 19 year old son Adam, wrote a song that will be played to wake the astronauts one morning during the mission. Patience has been modeled and taught in the Morgan family. It will be their constant companion while Barbara is up in space. Bless you Morgan family and good luck...

forever grateful...

No matter how grateful a person you are, the phenomena of feeling overwhelming thankfulness for your own life when you hear about the pain and sadness of another, is universal. At one time, I thought that if I was more grateful about my own life, I wouldn't feel this way every time I heard someone's Story but now I think it is more like a reflex, like hitting your funny bone or that little triangle-hammer thingie the doctor hits your knee to check for whatever he is checking for. When we hear a Story about the misfortune of another, there is Something in us that immediately takes us inward and we are instantly thankful for our lot in life, even as imperfect as we felt it was a few minutes prior.

Sometimes it is not a event but a season of life. I only had one child and felt overwhelmed during most of that time. Now, with my three darling gkids, I get that same feeling. It is a different world and most of my anxiety is about protecting them but for my girl and all those other mommies who do mommy thing everyday, they are overwhelmed by the sheer work of raising children. In many respects, children have not changed. They have always had mountains of energy, have always fought with their siblings and usually leave a mess wherever they go.

Grab your hanky and prepare to be thankful...

You are timeless to me...

It started with Miss Kathy's layout of a birthday bash of women friends. Then I scrapped this page and we decided it should be National Girlfriend Day.

Keaton and I decided to do a movie and he came up with Hairspray. After getting clearance from the Mommy tower, we headed out. I wasn't too excited but whatever the boy wanted. To my surprise I loved it. It certainly played into NGD. While it has a political theme to it, I thought it had an overwhelming theme - the celebration of women. Big or skinny, black or white. Keaton and I danced our way thru the movie and then headed directly out to get the soundtrack.

Women were a Big Deal to Jesus, they made it into the very first book of the bible. He knows what a woman's heart is capable of holding. A woman has a wonderful sense of where and when. It would seem that Jesus may have given way to establishing the first NGD.

Woman relationships can be difficult and rewarding. We feel at a diferent level than men and at times, that gets us in trouble. It also gives cause for deep, meaningul relationships. Since we women share from our hearts, you can't mistake the Love when you find yourself in the midst of it. Forget about what the calendar says, it was National Girlfriend Day in my world yesterday. I thought about all of you and felt like a very lucky girlfriend ... and for you local girls, let's get together and do a Hairspray night, you will love it...

I am not going to get up today...

Keaton, Poppa and I are having a sleepover tonight which includes dinner and a trip to Costco. My little man found my favorite Dr Suess book, I Am Not Going To Get Up Today. I have an old copy that I picked up at a yard sale long ago. It is torn and colored in and seemed to be a good deal until I found a new one with all the pages for a mere $5. Poppa had never read it so Keaton proceeded to right that particular wrong and read it out loud to us on the way home. Keaton and I both agreed that everyone feels this way once in a while - Poppa, who hasn't had a day off in several weeks, feels this way ALOT...

Please let me be

Please go away

I am not going to get up today!

The alarm can ring.

The birds can peep.

My bed is warm.

My pillow's deep.

Today's the day I'm going to sleep...

I've never been so sleepy

since I can't remember when

You can take away my breakfast.

Give my egg back to the hen...

You can tickle my feet.

You can shake my bed.

You can pour cold water on my head.

But you're wasting your time.

So go away.

I am NOT going to get up today...

For poppa and all of you who need some rest, maybe you need to put your foot down and let God do His Best to revive your tired spirit. The world will not help you - you need to be firm and somedays, just stay put...