It is its own religion, this love. Uncontainable, savage and without end, it is what I feel for my child... Comeback/ Claire and Mia Fontaine.I can't remember too many times that I have knocked on the door at Brandi's house and not heard the shriek of one or all my grandkids yelling, NANA'S HERE !!! You hear footsteps running toward the window - they know to look outside to make sure it is nana even if they see my van - before they open the door. The greeting continues with hugs and kisses as I greet each one and ask how they are. I try to listen to each one as they are all trying to tell me Something going on in their world, FIRST. Everyone gets a good dose of nana love and then we move on. I know it won't last forever and delight in each and every one of these moments.
Kids don't always care about the same things that we do. The things that make them happy is knowing that we love them. Really love them. Our job as parents (and grandparents) is to make sure they have that security so when those times where there has to be Tough Love, they know that after it is all said and done, they are still loved. I came from a home where that was not the case and we knew it. When the Tough Love came, there was no security to fall back on. The Way the parents lived their lives - made it very clear what was important and it wasn't children.
What do we model to our kids about themselves? How would your kids define the way you feel about them? What are they watching you do - Good and Bad? I know so much more now than when I had my baby girl. I am a better grandparent than parent and I hope that I have shared that security in a fuller, richer way with her.
We all have things in our lives that need to go. Even parents. They need to be put in a trash bag and set out at the curb for pick up. They need to go. Being a parent doesn't mean letting them walk all over you. If you give children the security of Love and they choose a different way, that is not about you.
I told a friend today that I can't go out and be to the world without having the security of knowing I am Loved. There have been many things I have had to trash during my life, expectations, beliefs and life grooves. Something like a Life yard sale - somethings don't fit anymore.
About 830 in the morning, I will be knocking on Brandi's door again and I know how I will be greeted. More importantly, They know how they will be greeted. They know exactly what is coming and lavish in the Love. No trash talk, just Words of Love...
