We all give it and we all get it. Sometimes, it is asked for and sometimes, it is given freely. Sometimes too freely. I am guilty on all counts. We all are.
The thing about advice is whether you are giving it or getting it, you have to remember it is not truth, Advice is your opinion of anything, seen through your own personal filter. That filter takes in experiences, beliefs, likes and dislikes - and a whole lot more. We get offended when asked for our opinions and they are not followed. The thing is, the person getting the advice now has to run it through their filter and it will not resemble the advice you gave. How could it? There is not a one of us who has identical experiences. Even if we have a similar experiences, it is just one out of millions. Even with a comparable experience, the outcome will be like trying to compare apples to oranges.
In saying all that and I believe it is true, there are times that make you go... I read what I have mostly considered a reasonable-based column. Good, solid answers mostly. Good thing that we are not renewing the newspaper when our year subscription runs on in January 2010. I think Annie and her Mailbox have a screw loose...
Dear Annie,
I have been living with Alex for 2 years. We have a 9 month old daughter, Maggie. I just found out that Alex told his employer that Maggie had died. He received $300 and the company was going to hold a fundraiser to cover funeral expenses. I was furious. I called his boss and let him know that Maggie is alive and well. Alex resigned his position and returned the money.
Alex said he did it because I complained about our finances. That's a lousy excuse. I complained because I was tired of supporting all 3 of us. I pay for everything and Alex doesn't contribute a dime.
I told him this was the last straw and he needed to move out. He said once he gets his own place, he wants to see Maggie. Should I fight for sole custody and keep her from her father? Confused Mom In Omaha...
Dear Omaha,
We understand your concern that if Alex has unsupervised visits with Maggie, he might sell her. But in spite of his greed, is Alex otherwise a good father? Does he love her and care for her properly? Studies have shown that fathers who are involved with their children's lives are a major factor in the development of the child's self-confidence and how well they do in school. Unless Alex is abusive or teaches Maggie to lie, cheat and steal, a healthy relationship between them will be best for everyone.
REALLY...
Doesn't the threat of selling a child fall under the abusive flag? Is it just my filter or is this really, bad advice? Don't even get me started about the mother who is living a confused life. I pray that Maggie finds her way out of both of these people's lives. That is my best, filtered advice to her...
