There is a lot going on this month. Lots and lots of graduations. One night there are two at the same time - 20 miles apart. Trying to negotiate being at both is impossible - how do you choose?
It is in the details that I find the most difficulty. I get bogged down in the what if's and how to's and everything else gets blurry. I can't focus beyond what I can't get pass. You would think that when things are crystal clear that would make it easier but for me, it doesn't seem to. Single focus would seem to suit my personality but it makes me a crazy girl.
The blurry areas of my life can be denial or lack of focus. Either way, I think the results are still the same. Ignore it and it will go away. If there is pain involved, that too, can be put on hold but there can be plenty of pain in the sharpness of life. When the true focus is up front and personal, it is pretty difficult to deny. Hard to look away and pretend you can't see it.
There have been a few things this month that I had to look smack in the face. No running away, no hiding and no blur. I will have to let go and realize that I have no control. I will have to look at the details, make the best choice I can and live with it.
Maybe just saying it out loud will help. Realizing that the details are not the enemy and sometimes, there may not be a right or wrong answer, The answer will lie with what I can live with. Whether blurry or sharp, it is my decision where I am going to focus...
