know better, do better...

The quote is from Maya Angelou. In theory, it should work. In theory, if you put forth the effort with husband, children - most anything, there should be a good outcome.

Every time this kid plays basketball, there is a whole team of Big People, cheering him and his brother and sister, on. They have the best support system I have ever seen. People have commented, over the years, at The Fam Club that follows them around.

We do it because we are crazy about them
and because we could do it, no other way...

There may be another lesson of Love that we are teaching them. One that we give little to no thought to - they may pass off this Love to their own children. I think about who they will marry, their kids and grand kids, alot. Praying for those I will never meet, those who these guys will Someday be responsible for. If our Love takes them Down that Path, it would just be icing on the proverbial cake.

We shout, we cheer, we hug, we give high fives. We live a cheerleader existence and, we wouldn't have it any other way. Go Sharks!

cling or flee...

I’ve decided I am too tired to wonder why God allows suffering. I’m too tired for a lot of things. I’ve gotten to the point where I will either give up religion all together, or cling to it like a buoy. 6yearmed.

Could not have said it better myself. Imagine that being a doctor, while as wonderful as it may be, at times - presents like a nightmare. The pain of accidental injuries, and many, more consistent with negligence and Things Far More Sinister.

There is one place that can make a huge difference in your life and that is the relationship between a father and his child. If it is a bad one, it will color everything, for the rest of your life. God, trust, authority figures, learning to become a woman - all colored by the lens you see your father. You learn to live with it but there is always that Lingering doubt.

You can learn to live with it.
You can learn to cope.
You do the best you can and you may find, you would still rather cling than flee

If you don't have the daddy handicap, you have the ability to fly and soar. I could not be more happy for my grandchildren that their father has given them the greatest gift a father can, a great sense of Love. They thrive under his Love and because of that, the idea of a loving God - seems so natural to them. I imagine that the cling or flee response is a bit easier for them. I hope I have learned something from Miss M and my favorite son in law. All dads aren't bad, I know that but it is not, my natural default.

If you aren't as lucky as Miss M, you will have to learn as I have, that God is not like your earthly father. That he is cut from a different kind of cloth and you are doing yourself a disservice, if you continue Down The Path. Cling or flee, the choice is always yours but make sure you use facts not emotions to make those choices...

the marrow of life...

I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. ~Henry David Thoreau

Picked up my girl from kindergarten today and had some Miss M time, and this exact theme was going on in my mind. Not word for word, but certainly heart to heart. After sharing our cottage cheese lunch and playing teacher, the idea to get ice cream kept coming back. She never asked, totally my idea but I realized that our days together are coming to a close with her kindergarten season and moving on to first all day grade.

I have enjoyed these special times with each of the kids. She is the last and with it, the close of another season for me. I know it has to happen and accept it with all I have but also, will live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.

353 days until DH retires. The kids will be in school and another chapter will start. I don't know what it will look like, have been trying to imagine it but imagining is not for days like today.

Today was about talking about school as we drove home with the sun shining down,
Today was for sharing our lunch while watching our favorite TV show
Today was for ice cream and being together.

Suck the life out of every day, whatever that looks like to you and start the tomorrow with a new song. Why would we live any other way?

recall...

You know the drill. Postcard comes in the mail, directing you to a local dealer to fix something they found and couldn't shake, on your car.

I hate car dealers whether shopping for a auto or visiting their repair department. They look all the same. Uncomfortable areas with a TV, vending machines and outdated magazines. I came prepared both in mind and spirit. With Diet Coke, Shuffle, book and journal in hand, I headed to my appointed time with car destiny. After repeatedly explaining that I didn't want any of their additional services, I settled in for an hour and 1/2 wait. Can't help but imagine that there wouldn't be a shorter wait, had I opted for extra services. When I get my car back, there is no sign anything was done. We are at their mercy, you wonder if they might have done Something to force you to come back. Later that evening, DH asked, Did they fix it? I didn't even know what it was and I most certainly don't know if they fixed it.

Wish life had a recall system. Get a postcard in the mail, directing you to a dealer who specializes in whatever the problem is, you wait in the customer service department until it is fixed and you go home, happily ever after. The car business seems to have this recall thing pretty well thought out, now if it would only flow over into some other areas of my life, I would be a happy girl...

looking back...

If you had the chance to look back, tell yourself some things - what would that conversation look like?

The first thing I would tell Little z is that I am so proud of her. Scarred yet in tack, you have come through the worse and I could not, be more impressed by the way have persevered. You have become the poster child for trying to get to the Truth and dealing with it, head on. No feeling sorry for yourself, but looking to make the best outcome possible - you get up and try, over and over again.

You, my little friend will not only survive but thrive. You will come to be thankful for every little thing ( wait until you see an iPad!). The gifts God has given you will be treated with the up most respect, always thankful for the wonderful people in your life. Your husband, child, son are More than you ever expected. As for Keaton, Gage and Morgan - I already know you will be blown away.You couldn't have come up with them yourself in a million years.

Little Girl, life is going to be an amazing journey. It wouldn't always be easy and Some days, it will feel, familiar in a not good way. Use the same true grit that you have and keep moving. It is all coming, enjoy every minute of it. I love ya, girl...

focused...

It started with the music. To say that if felt sluggish to me, would seem like a complement. I felt like I was on a sinking ship and there was nowhere to go. It took a few minutes but I finally looked around and started thinking about those who were getting it, and prayed for them - as Freddy Mercury was screaming through my brain.

Forty nine minutes later, with We Are The Champions still pounding in my head, it was crystal clear. Things started to click and the pastor's words started to make sense. He was talking about faith and I had not been tracking with him. All of a sudden, he likened faith to marriage. Some days are good and some days aren't. Both are constants that are fluid - focused. For me, today I was in a Freddy Mercury state of mind while the church was in a slower, different place. I started to relax and let the words, take me where I needed to go...

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions

My day suddenly, got better. Nothing changed... but me. I stopped knocking my head against the wall and it felt better. Imagine that. I left the church building, a different person, no longer wishing for a way out. I learned a valuable lesson, one I am sure will need to be relearned, again and again. I just wasn't paying attention and that, my friends, is worth fighting for...

crazy good...

Don’t commit to an idea, commit to a tangible act you can check off of a list. Donald Miller.

This just struck me as pure genius. Instead of committing to losing 20 pounds, commit to exercise or less carbs - commit to an act not an idea.

How many places could be be invaluable? You have got to admit, we don't have the best track record in more than several areas of our lives. Diets alone have a 95% failure rate - imagine that drugs, smoking, gambling and a lot more less attractive issues, do too. Imagine if we re-thought the way we try to change (insert unwanted behavior here) and because we do what we have always done, the results are the same we have always gotten. Even more important, what if the we committed to the act of loving God, no matter what.

This fits just in line what I have been telling myself about exercise for the last week. Have been taking it day by day, just do today - will worry about tomorrow, well - tomorrow.

Sometimes, crazy good comes ways we never expected. I knew it when Miss M and I spent a few hours on Friday playing Uno, Cake Doodle and Barbie's. Never thought about it as a concept. Now that, is crazy good...

juror 424...

I have waited with you
every night in January
listening for your number.
You almost made it through,
but with 6 days to go,
juror 424 was called up
and off you went.

Don't know what went wrong,
but somehow,you were chosen.
That really surprised me,
one look at you,
and small animals and children
usually run away.

Domestic violence.
You watched a woman, teen girl and 6 year old,
who wanted to protect his family with his karate moves,
testify against husband and father.
My first thought was, what kind of man?
would allow and put his family through this.

For a day and a 1/2, you listened to testimony.
Then deliberations for a few more hours.
a mistrial.
I was very proud of your observations,
while trying to bring common sense into the jury room,
yet it was not to be.
We all come from very different walks of life.
and a jury maybe the one place where votes do count.

I hope there is no retribution,
for that woman, teen and little boy.
They have lived enough life already,
to know that life isn't fair.
I hope, it serves them well.
You did the best you could.
Now come home,Juror 424, your dinner is ready...

back sliding...

Even as an atheist, I knew what back sliding meant. When you get in the church, you learn more and faster about back sliding than you do about Jesus. Now I get it, human default and all but don't let the church define the word, it is a human event not merely religious.

With that said, here is m;y back sliding Story. For over 5 months, I have faithfully while hating ever minute of it, done my 5 day a week exercise. The first Monday in January, out of nowhere one morning, I decided not too. I also decided that again on Friday. Three weeks go by and my deciding follows this slippery slope path. Last Friday, I faced this whole backsliding thing, put it in a mental red balloon and watched it go up into the sky until I could see no more. Thank you, Frazier Crane, you still totally rock.

Had to do a bit of friendly trash talk, and this week, we are back on the straight and narrow. Never one to believe that if you do Something for 21 days, it becomes automatic and second-nature. I have a long, long list of attempts and back sliding to back up my theory.

We are backsliders by nature, that is why there is so many When's not If's in the Word. Our lives are a constant jumble of 2 steps forward and 1 back and not necessarily in that or any other, order. In all areas of our lives, we can never take for granted that we are, for the lack of a better word, cured of what we think we are. There will be successes and some will stick, but that will be because of hard work and the taking of responsiblity knowing it could change in an instant.

Today, I am not looking back at what was nor looking to tomorrow for might be but today. Did my time, exercise done. Today was a good day. New red balloon tomorrow, can't wait...

cheer leading...

We are embarking on our first adventure in the cheer leading world - the one where there are uniforms and pom poms. As I watched Miss M go from cheer to cheer, it reminds me of the cheerleaders we all have already have, in our lives. Some come disguised as parents, and grandparents. Teachers, neighbors and at times, strangers. Yes, they are harder to spot because they dress normal and their cheers don't rhyme. Nevertheless, you can certainly see the similarities in cheerleaders Universal.

A good cheerleader is meant to encourage. A steady stream of unconditional love, with a nice delivery. No condemnation and no accountiablity - that is not the job of a cheerleader. It is more of a way of showing support for a job well done. When there is cheerleading for something not good, it turns into enabling. We each need a balance of cheerleading and truth telling. That is where God comes in. He is the total package. The real deal.

I love it when he pushes me to be more than I ever thought I could be but I also know, he will always, always tell me the Truth. We humans get mixed up a lot of the time. We cheer lead when we should be telling the truth and when we need a cheerleader the most, we fail. Working on doing a better job of telling the difference between the two and loving those around me. This is the cheer I was raised with, explains quite a bit, don't you think?

Rah Rah Ree, kick em in the knee.
Rah Rah Ras, kick em in the other knee

My wish is to come up with a new cheer, am working on it - will get back to you...

No, thank you...

So who could be surprised when Gail Davis, a woman in Orpington, England, picked up the phone, listened to someone offering her a prize, and immediately replied, "Thank you very much; I'm not interested"?

The only problem was that the caller really was someone from Apple and Davis really had won a prize. For her household was, indeed, the one from which the 10 billionth app had been downloaded from Apple's app store.CNet

Yes, yes - she called Apple back and made nice. All is well and Gail is a very happy girl but have you ever been in her shoes? I have. I have my standard, We don't do any business on the phone, and if they persist, I hang up. Most of the time, I am hung up on before I can do any hanging up of my own but I imagine that is the mindset of those who make a living calling us at dinnertime.

I have done the same thing with the mail. Got a letter once that looked like one of those millions of bank credit cards approval letters but it was a Visa rebate that I had been expected. I had to call the company, tell them what I did and ask for a second chance and they obliged.

We are all skeptical. Some of us, more than others. I would have reacted exactly like Gail did and I had been trying to win the Apple 10 Billion App download too. Like Gail, it never would have dawned on me, that I might win it.

If we aren't open to joy, it won't come our way.
If we aren't open to love, it won't come our way.
If we aren't open to all that is available to us, it won't come our way because we won't recognize it.

Good lesson for all of us. Let's all take a back seat to, No, thank you and use it sparingly...

the power of Story...

You have probably seen either or both of these photos in the last couple of weeks. They have resonated with me on many different levels.

First on all, they tell the Story we are all wondering about. Our lives have gone back to normal. Proper care and concern have been shown and quite frankly, we have moved on. They are just starting to learn a new normal, a normal that will affect them forever. In spite of all of it, they have shared their Story with us through updates and wonderful photos. We don't need to see her face to tell that she is loved and doing pretty darn good for someone who could just have easily been taken away from her family and loved ones.

They have shared the beauty of being able to go outside on a sunny January day. What an intimate detail to share, more intimate than any face photo could ever be. We know that the congresswoman is being loved by the sense of touch when everything else may be confusing. You might forget many things after being shot in the head but can't imagine that having someone hold your hand might be one of them. These photos are powerful witnesses to telling A Story in the most important of ways.

May we be sensitive to each other and show as much love, as we have seen here. Thank you Mark Kelly for sharing your wife with us with grace and beauty. We are all rooting for both of you, may we Someday soon, see both of your smiling faces complete with all the love you have shared with us but, most importantly - with each other...

dream on...

For good mental health, there has to be a balance and deep appreciation of knowing one's strengths and weaknesses. Not sure the line is so fine between I am the Best and I am the worst. After 2 hours of watching American Idol, it becomes painfully apparent that some of us need some work.

I favor the realistic and beyond side and I need to dream more. Many years of living with people who only dreamed, soured me and I am just getting around to reversing the trend. When you are a kid, it is hard not to throw out the baby with the bathwater and wash your hands of anything dream-like. Will probably never be able to teach classes on dreaming but I am moving to the middle and that may be the most important thing.

Knowing that anything is possible, one can take that in any direction of their choosing. Personal, business or humanity. I couldn't, wouldn't have been able to envision the technology that we now enjoy. Keaton, Gage and Morgan, what can I say?, I never saw them coming. Our culture, the way we communicate, FB and Twitter. Never gave photography an second glance until digital cameras. None of these things would have been possible without a dreamer.

To those of who to whom dreaming is second nature, thank you. The rest of us are coming along nicely. Don't get too big headed though, while you were dreaming, we were paying the bills and cooking dinner. To each of us, dream on...

weather or not...

The weather around here has been a bit confusing the last few days. Yesterday, we were outside with no shoes or coats and spent an hour, just taking it all in. Today was not as nice but a little goes a long way in January. We understand it was a one time thing, and don't expect it again for a few months. That one is easy, it gets more difficult when you step outside of weather and head into Real Life.

Real Life, obviously has more layers than the weather. Weather, straight-forward, Real Life, not so much and when straight-forward fades away, expectations start to come to the surface and many times, it is not pretty. We can lose perspective pretty quickly and the What If's take on a life of their own.

My digi sisters and I have been on a Journey with Vivian Maier and it is absolutely stunning the direction, it has gone. The shift is really away from ourselves and now, directed toward others. Miss A, did a powerful post describing her personal involvement with someone whose photo, she took. If this continues to spread, there is a potential movement that I could see, might change lives. Not sure what it looks like but is seems possible and that is Something I am so looking forward too.

Not sure what the history of the fair-weather friend discription but you would think it wouldn't be such a big deal since we have such small expectations about weather anyhow...or do we? Not sure how we ever get anything right...

mutual heartbeat...

I find myself in a mutual heartbeat with her photos...

This was part of a post I made yesterday in tribute to Miss Vivian. Later on, the comment came back to remind me that mutual heartbeats are not exclusively good and positive. A true heartbeat - beats in each of our bodies, people I would like to include and those I wish, I could forget.

Gage has an obsession with WW2, the German culture and Adolf Hitler. We have had many, many Q&A and I have tried to be as honest as I can. Having a mother who was a German, brought to the US in the middle of the war while her new husband went back to war and was not loved by many, including her in-laws - I am a wealth of information to him. Some things I have kept to myself, things he would never understand now but later, I will tell me what I know.

I can remember my father and grandmother arguing for hours about Hitler. This conversations happened about 10 years after the end of the war and always shared the same ending. My grandmother's voice always claimed that when he first came to power, he was for the people, the common man. Food, shelter - many things which she claimed, changed her and others lives. She would point to the VW and she had a long laundry list of all the good he did. My father, saw a different side. Looking back at what we know now, I would imagine that Oma's view would be no different.

When you think heartbeat, you have to take it all. Well, I would never do that... Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn't. I think we are all more capable of doing things than we think we can. You have to take the good and the bad and face it, straight up.

My post probably should have read that I shared an emotional heartbeat. Sometimes, it is hard to believe that we are all the same in God's eyes. He doesn't pick and choose like we do, He is unconditional. Maybe that is why when asked, Who are your hero's - I go blank. We are each, good and bad, shadow and light and share a mutual heartbeat. Take it to heart and not only will your view of others change, the view of yourself will be altered forever...

ode to Vivian Maier...

2011...we are only 17 days in and it already feels like a different world. Along with all the normal January things - cold, cold, rain and more cold - some creative impressions have been stalking me. With the discovery of Vivian Maier, the photographer whose works has recently been discovered, I have been thrown with permission, into her world. Circling the drain to find exactly where I fit in, I found my new home. In one area of my life, I found what I was looking for.

I don't take that lightly. Whether we perceive it or not, we all think, if we could just find/identify/accept it. I am looking forward to the days, weeks and months to come when more of Miss Vivian's work is literally, developed. There are bins and bins of undeveloped film and two guys who are working diligently to tell her Story.

We are all keepers of our individual Stories but to make a small contribution by helping to preserve the culture of our day, belongs to any one with a camera. You don't need fancy equipment or large amounts of time. Miss Vivian was a nanny and took the city on her day off. Hundred's of rolls of film later, we can get a better idea of times before ours. While the written word is not to be denied, a photo does say 1000 words. Thank you Miss Vivian...

everybody's talking...

These two Stories have been on our collective radar for more than a week now. At different ends of the emotional spectrum, the lives of Ted Williams and Jared Loughner.

In less than a week, these two men have gone from unknown by few to known by all, but few. They have been discovered and uncovered. In less than a week, one went from zero to Time magazine, the other from living on the streets to overnight fame. Tonight, one is sitting in jail, the other in drug rehab.

The point is not why their lives changed overnight but the culture that we know find ourselves in. A culture where any of us, for many, many reasons - could find ourselves in a place, we never could have imagined. Both made choices that put them in the spotlight overnight and, they won't be the last.

No matter what your politics or religion, we each spend 24 hours a day in this world. There is no way to tell, what is coming at us next. All we can do is being aware of the Moments of our lives, each and every day. There will be no turning back of the cultural clock. God grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference Truer words have never been uttered...

BIG...

It started out as a fleeting thought. I knew I should write it down but once again, talked myself into thinking, this time I would remember.


Many hours later and with the proven path of letting my right brain rest, I came back to me late this afternoon. Not a huge thought, just fleeting.

The growth of God becoming bigger, might have coincided with the Internet. Told you it wasn't a big deal. The more I thought about it, it seemed to match up. Being an introvert and having zero curiosity paired with some bad teaching, had limited my ability to see past my little finger. With the Internet, my world got bigger and all of a sudden, so did my idea of God. Things I feared, were no longer as issue. I began to realize that He is BIGGER than my narrow little thoughts. I also realized he was BIGGER than many other's thoughts too! When your world is small, you hold on tight to beliefs, values and think that God is nothing without your help. As he gets BIGGER in your heart, you start to let some of the petty things you see and hear go, no longer needing to defend them. You understand he can take care of himself and you leave it to him and spend your time doing the things you need to do.

Not saying the Internet is the greatest thing ever but the correlation cannot be denied. If you believe that he can and does use anything he wants, it becomes totally possible, even probable. As your God gets Bigger, you learn to naturally - let go. You put the proverbial suitcase down, and walk away,hands free. In time, you may even see it as the negative it was.

Just barely touching the surface of this BIG thought, it is comforting to see progress. If you are not moving forward, you are moving backward. No one can tread anything for long. There will be time to say Something or choose to not participate and learning to tell the difference is an on-going journey. For now, I am pretty stoked about the change in my thought process. Anything is possible is easy to say but hard to believe but understanding that for all of us it is about when, not if. We each have many whens in our lives. Some little, Some BIG. That doesn't change, anything is possible. Doesn't explain why, just that is is When Time.

Here is an example, I have never bought a lottery ticket because I believed I would never, ever, ever win. I have still have never bought a lottery ticket but this difference now is I fully believe it is possible that I could win. Now that, is BIG...

coffeeshop mentality...

Nothing quite like spending some time at Flying M to gather one's thoughts. For a introvert, you might imagine that is the last place where one would go but the opposite is true. At every visit, you might run into someone you know but a quick hello and goodbye and you are back where you started. The most fun thing is to share the time with someone that involves deep conversation about the meaning of life. It is even better if you come a few minutes early to not only collect your thoughts but to watch your fellow man.

Became aware of the life of Vivian Maier last week. A reclusive nanny (which really is an oxy moron) who on her day off, went into town and collected hundreds of rolls of street photography. There are a couple of young men putting together her Story now, who missed tailing to her by a few days after her death. There is a gallery showing in Chicago, a film and a book. After I read her Story, I wondered if they would ever find pictures of the children she took care of but it seems, that is not to be.

I look around my section of the coffee shop and notice lots of men. I always wonder what they are searching on their laptops. Admittedly, I imagine most of them are up to no good. May not be a fair assessment but this is not a fair world. Lots of college students and the couple next to me, should have taken their conversation, somewhere else. There was no way I could not overhear. He couldn't' get a break with her, no matter what he said,(his words). Imagine it was a New Years break up, best of luck to them, no matter what.

I read several newspapers, reminded me what I no longer take the paper despite my weekly call/flyer trying to woo me back. It feels much like being courted by a Commodore 64, (prehistoric Wii). I even got a call asking if I would take the paper again for the poor carriers and their falling income. I spent 20 minutes reading nothing I hadn't known for a week but everything goes better with Diet Coke, so I was in good company.

My people showed up and it was time to move on. A delightful couple of hours and I headed home, feeling pretty good for a cold, January day. It doesn't take much for me to appreciate what I have and Miss Vivian has inspired me to see my fellow man is new light. Going to follow the rabbit down the Hole...

bookends...

Christina-Taylor Green was almost the same age as my Gage. She had just joined the student counsel at her school. She wanted to know the way government worked. that is why when asked, she accepted an offer to go hear her congresswoman speak at the grocery store on Saturday. She wanted to learn more, so does Gage - maybe it is their age where curosity is perhaps, at its highest.

The details are almost more than one can comprehend. But for Christina, her Story can be told as a short, shelf of books between two bookends. I think all our lives bear the bookends analog. Some of us, obviously, have a long line, maybe multiple book cases filled the the Stories of our lives. Christine's Story starts on 9/11/2001.In the midst of the worst tragedy in American history, Christina came into the world and drew her first breath. In an interview on Sunday, her father said, she came in on a tragedy, and she went out on one. What are the chances that someone, anyone would have that kind of Story to tell? Her legacy is yet to come. Her family left with her bookends.

Many lessons to learn. We can't know how much time we have with each other. Bad things have always happened and always will. Sometime, it will affect us. It will be our turn, that is just the way it is. Our Stories will be bookends for those who love us. May God have mercy on us all...

full disclosure...

Do I post everything that happens in my life?
How does one choose what to tell and what to hold back?
It's all in the way you see things.

My friend, Miss A shared a great Jake Story tonight. It might not have been her most proud Moment but Mr Dille and I shared a tear-filled belly laugh and Jake is my new hero. Guts and glory, all wrapped up in a wonderful little boy!

Every Friday in Mrs Davis 2nd grade class,(the most awesome teacher in the world according to Gage and nana)a student is spotlighted. A complete bulletin board, fill ed with photos and favorites information, a Q&A with the student, adjectives written on the overhead of attributes of said wonderful students and a letter from each child/parents/siblings/nana telling said wonderful kid, what we like/love about them. Unlike the kids who have been doing this every week, this was my first rodeo and it seemed very magical to me. Along with adorable(Gage's description of chosen photos to go on said bulletin board)photos of gage and his family, he included a photobooth strip he had of me and him. I couldn't have felt more honored, what a kid!

Later on, during the Q&A portion of the program, someone asked him what his favorite planet was? I knew the answer before he said it, Uranus, he replied. Of course it is. Proud? Could not have been prouder.

When you know who you are and are able to lay it all out, that is my kind of person. Warts and all, this is who we are. Black and white, dark and light, never picture perfect nor mortality flawed - it is about accepting ourselves, laughing when we can, correcting when we must. Full disclosure is not needed, except to ourselves - to grow and be the best person ever. Thanks Jake and Gage for leading the way...

joy box...

Pay it forward 2011- I promise to send something homemade to the first 5 people who comment on this status. In turn you must post this as your status and make the same promise ｡◕‿◕｡ the rule is it must be homemade and it has to be given sometime in 2011/Miss K

Found this on Facebook last week and loved the idea. Lots of things swirling around in my brain. Different mediums, digital, physical, food - the possibilities are endless. I love just thinking about it.

I think deep down, we all like, maybe even prefer homemade gifts. For about a month before Christmas, every time I saw Gage, he was keenly interested in my bath routine.

Do you like to take baths?
Do you take baths?
Ok, well I have Something for you.

Christmas morning, I opened a beautifully decorated bag filled with a jar of homemade bath salts, made and given by Gage. Neither of us could have been more proud. This gift, I will need to use. Many others, from cards to small, homemade gifts, pieces of paper to papers that have been specially made for me.

I have containers of all kinds under my bed, in the top of my office closet - of things given to me by people, BIG and little. Years ago, a few of us stumbled across the idea of a Joy Box. One of our dear friend's very talented husband's made these gorgeous boxes for each of us where we could put away precious things to be brought out occasionally to remind us, how lucky we really are. I have many Joy boxes now. Wood, paper, hat boxes, trunks - overflowing with reminders of the Love that surround me. It doesn't take too long while cruising through one of these boxes, to feel the Love.

Back to the Pay It Forward 2011, after a few days I am sorry that no one wants to take up my offer. I admit I did think about Miss K's offer for a minutes but in the end, decided it was worth it - to take a chance. Miss K asked for our addresses and soon, I will have something new for my joy box. I can hardly wait, maybe this was only for me, a way to take a chance, risk putting myself out there. I am way ok with that, as I have said many times, everything is not for everybody.

Ah...a great way to bond with Miss January. I have already experienced living and doing the unplugged life this year, not always comfortable but already seeing the necessity of doing so. Baby steps, you are either moving forward or backward, neutral is not an option...for long.

Ipad LOVE...

I have been excited about this since before Christmas! Three of us have had ours for a while. Two others got theirs for Christmas.

Battery's charged, photos loaded as are my 162 apps. How did I get that many? Have dreamed of this taking a photo like this. All this Love packed into one afternoon, what a day!

DH is ready for his own. Will wait for the iPad 2 which is looking like it will have a camera, USB port and FaceTime. Sounds like a good upgrade, must start saving out of my grocery money. More cooking, more saving!

We are all in the same book club so I imagine that way we do book club might look a bit different in 2001. It certainly has changed the was we communicate, buy, and. research. Someone suggested, Extremely Loud and Incredible Close and in no time, a few of us had downloaded the preview to check it out. That my friends, is love - pure and simple.

Can't wait for iPad Love 2. Thinking I am totally into Evernote now. Love that we all took notes on things we wanted to check out later. Our lists are as diverse as we are. Turned Miss D onto Cake Doodle for her grandson and can't wait to see what Miss D does with Lens Flare.

With the first week of 2011 almost behind us, moving on with anticipation...

theatre of the mind...

If Ted Willimas hasn't gone viral yet, he soon will. It is part of the new way we communicate with each other. It explains why most of everyone has heard of Justin Bieber, whether they want to or not. We are now smack dab in a world where anyone, anyone can become a over night success literally, over night.

A town a few doors over from us is trying to stop panhandlers from soliciting on street corners. Over the holidays, the city administrators asked that if you wanted to donate to the homeless, to do it through an organization, like the local food bank or Salvation Army. The local news had even followed a local couple from their residence at a local day motel where the mother stayed with their young child while the dad stood on a street corner trying to get enough money to pay for their room and some food. I don't pretend to know the answers to these complicated matters but I do know, each of us has a Story to tell. A Story that has lead us to where we are, this very day.

Mr Williams is pretty open about his and I imagine that in the next few days he will find at the very least, part time employment, if not full time employment. Someone will say, I will give you a chance. Maybe because they have walked or have almost walked in his shoes or maybe because they just have a theatre kind of mind. Best of luck, Ted - hope you are ready to start over. Looks like it's your turn for that second chance. Run like the wind, Bulleye...

Dear January,

Here we are a few days in and it really hasn't been too bad. I also haven't been outside much. Have to go to the grocery store tomorrow and an iPad party the next day so hopefully, we keep this working relationship going.

I don't remember having an adversarial relationship with you while growing up in California. I do, however, remember hating Sundays. School the next day but mainly Sunday was hair washing night and always, always was a bad time. Apparently, buying hair detangler wasn't an option. It took many years for Sunday not to be a cuss word but now, Sunday and I are quite compatible. No hard feelings on either side and we seem to be sharing a bit of the good stuff. Sunday will never be Friday but she isn't trying to be, and she is a lover not a fighter.

But, back to you Miss January. It would appear that my judgement of you is tied up in weather. The snow, the cold, the dark days. I learned to dislike you the first year I moved here and it is just this year, that I am trying to see beyond what I don't like about you, to seeing the good in you. I am finding more than I believed was ever possible. Not sure where all this good will is coming from but I rather like it.

I might backslide, hear that snow is predicted for the weekend. I don't have to tell you that life doesn't go in a straight line. Thanks for sharing some time with me and being such a gracious listener. I know you have heard it all, there is nothing new I can say to you that you haven't heard. Thank you, Miss January, for everything.

52...

One thing I am trying to implement in the 2011 is my 52 project. While the 365 idea is not for me, thinking that there has to be one thing every week that stands out as 52 worthy.

The idea of one.one.one.one or 1/11/11 date is unique and was destined to be the first of the series. Since there was a whole lot of laying around until 6PM that day, the 15 annual Crossroads Spaghetti dinner seemed to fall into place as the first week's entry and of all the photos of the evening, the neatly, lined up pan of rolls with J and J in the background explains the nature of our time together. When they were little, they wanted to sit at the Big People's table and visit but over the years, after they discovered football, this became their default location. 10, more or less, at the table, the rest involved in in small conversations in various areas of the house. Later on, the young ones leave and the rest of us dig into deep conversations. We start by catching up with each other's lives, and then the conversation takes on a life of its own and we are mere pawns. Much like an iPad with many apps, we flow effortlessly from one to another. We trying to include each one in each app, trying to see the Bigger Picture. That is the whole point, as we have grown - so has each of our Big Picture Moments. We are not the same people we were 15 years ago when we started on this adventure together. The kids are all grown up, have families and opinions of their own. Love asking them about technology and how it affects the Church now. The Message hasn't changed in 2000 years but the way it is shared, has. With almost each generation, we have found it necessary to change the delivery of the gospel. As the culture changes, so changes the unchanging Message of the Love of God. Change in the midst of constant, a great comfort to my heart.

We end our evening with laughter and hugs. It is really the only time we get together every year and we are comfortable in that constant. Thanks guys for another great spaghetti meal. Hey, there are rolls left over! That never happens - must be that 71 rolls for 12 people is too many. Never saw that coming...

unplugged...

Ah... here we are. 2011.

We made it through a great Christmas, the fab holiday week between holidays when everyone is still looking back at Christmas or looking ahead to New Years Eve. then there was the first day of 2011.

One. One. One. One. Interesting little number combo. All in all, quite a great way to end the year. Tomorrow life for most of us will go back to normal, back to work and back to school. I will be starting my descent into my least favorite month but that seems to be changing. Have been doing some rethinking about my lack of love for January and will admit that if my location was not a factor, January may rival some of the love I feel for July and August. Great sales in January, good time to stock up on towels and maybe a duvet cover. Even though my personal calendar starts in September, I can be on board with the world and see how January has some validity, even seniority in that arena.

unplugged... I always look for one word to define a beginning year and this one, just showed up. When I think of unplugged, I think of an artist who is taking a softer approach to their music. Wasn't sure how this would translate but it soon became apparent that is had to do with not necessarily becoming a softer me, although that may wind up to be part of the process but rather to unplug from things in my life that are not working, yet persist because I am still attached. That is all I understand for now and look forward to seeing how it plays out.

unplugged adjective
1. Not plugged in
2. Using acoustic instruments, especially in lieu of electric ones. (Wiktionary)

So, I will take my definitions and my comprehension on this New Year's journey and see where it goes. What might being unplugged and non-electric feel like? I can't wait to find out...

Hello 2011...

Looking forward to a New Year with loads of possiblilties for you and me...

Merry Christmas...

Some much running around in my head tonight. Of Christmas 2010 and memories of Christmas past. What a wonderful time of remembering experiences that have been the pleasure to be mine.

I have thought a lot about you guys lately. I wish a wonderful season of Christmas Love with hopes of a New Year filled with much anticipation. Wherever you find yourself this year, may you choose joy and may it spill out to all areas of your life. Christmas Day only last 24 hours, then it is back to Real Life and all that it brings.

I love you all so, Merry Christmas. See you January 2! love zalaine.

my Christmas Carol...

In the last 24 hours, I have lived my own version of Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol. Looking back, maybe there has been a real resemblance between Ebenezer Scrooge and myself. Not for any particular reason, the season's greetings haven't seemed to sink in the way I would want. Everything just seemed a bit off, a slant that I would not choose but found myself embracing.

It started with the written word. It came in the form of correspondence but as I read it, I knew the writer who weaved a beautiful Story, didn't realize that is was the first of what would come. I went over the words again and again and with tears and amazement, took the words to heart.

The morning brought the next stanza of the Carol with a package that I thought would never come. A necklace charm that had been ordered 6 months and after many, many emails, FB post and Twitter tweets - I had giving up. No responses ever sent back. I even resorted to asking for a refund but got nothing but silence. Today it arrived with a second charm and an apology. Out of the blue. The front of the charm had the word, joy printed on it. That pretty much explains how I was feeling.

Heading down the road a few minutes later, Joy to the World came on the radio and the tears started flowing. I put together the three events and realized Somebody was trying to get through to me.

Happy is involuntary and it is fleeting. It is like trying to live a whole lifetime of marriage on the Mountain-top of honeymoon Love. Joy, on the other hand, is a choice. You must make the choose to be joyful and you might have to do it many times a day. Joyful can be lived out even when you find yourself down in the Valley, if you are willing.

I feel like I was given these three joy-themed experiences for a reason. As I sit here, these random events may not seem to anyone else to be connected and that really is the point, it was for me, at this time and it makes perfect sense.

May you find your joy this Christmas season and as Tiny Tim said, God bless us, every one!

Noah and Lisa...

Was reading Lisa's Story last night and took notice of her son's Story and learned how she was instrumental in bringing Noah's Law to fruition. This young mother felt so passionately about getting a law made in her son's name that would protect mother and child in domestic abuse sitations even though it was too late for her and Noah. I googled Noah's Law and this is their Story.

She was 16 years old and nine months pregnant when a masked man broke into her home and "kicked, beat, and stomped on her," the Idaho Statesman reported. Rushed to the hospital, doctors quickly delivered Smith's son, but Noah had sustained fatal injuries in the attack. The bill, Noah's Law "recognizes that there are two victims -- the mother and her child -- when a pregnant woman is assaulted or killed, and her unborn child is harmed or killed as a result

This was Lisa's Story...

Lisa Janea Smith, 25, died as a result of a house fire at her home in Las Vegas, Nev., on Monday, Dec.13, 2010. Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 21, at the Friend's Church, 301 Randolph Ave. in Melba. Services will be conducted by her uncle Keith Moore. Internment will follow at the Melba Cemetery.

In her short 25 years, she must have lived a lifetime. She did the work that will help many families for years to come. She went on to Real Estate school and had a three year old daughter. Her funeral is today and her uncle will conduct the services.

According to the Idaho Statesman, Smith said after he was born, that she put a diaper on Noah, combed his hair, and swaddled him in a blanket. "In my baby's whole life," she told the senators, "I spent 20 minutes with him."

She will not be spending Christmas with her daughter, her mother, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles but I have to think that beyond their tears, she and Noah will be together this Christmas. Not just for 20 minutes but for as long as they like... Merry Christmas Noah and Lisa!

looking ahead...

Just starting to think past the holidays. To be thankful for 2010 and with faith, look forward to the new year. While resolutions aren't my thing, the new year does give one pause to decide to add or subtract to what I am doing now. What is working, what is not working. Clean slate to make a few changes...

TV. While it may sound shallow, I think food and TV are related in genre. When I have too much fast food and fast TV, I don't feel so well the next day. Some new shows coming up in January, one is My Special Addiction. The promo shows 3 women, each dealing with a strange disorder. One eats toilet paper, one - laundry detergent and one has to sleep with her hair dryer. Where are the men? At home, doing their thing with their mouths shut!

Daydreaming. I call it that for lack of a better description but I need to spend more time, just thinking. I know this always gets me in trouble but it alos opens up things to pray about, things that I need to change and things I have to add. Where did this post come from? From this kind of time.

The Living in the Moment path is not my default and there is a constant state of learning which I am more than happy to keep following. There is always Something new to learn or to rework. I started the year wanting out of Facebook, now I feel completely differently. We have to progress or we regress.

Retirement. We are headed into DH final year and lots of decisions and choices need to be made. We already know he will need surgery this summer and we wnat to be prepared as much as we can for his Dec 31, 2011 date. It will be a year of focus, and hopefully, we can start 2012 with great expectations.

With Christmas, I can put 2010 into photobooks that will always remind us where we were and what we were doing because we really do, forget so fast...

Story...

Isn't it interesting how the culture of any current generation takes an age old Story and puts it in a way that they can identify with?

The Story doesn't seem to chance. The change comes in the presentation. Stories are told in many different ways. Commercials on TV are just mini Stories. They are hindered but time frames but that makes it vital that they get to the point of getting you to buy whatever it is they are trying to sell. In any Story, there is Something the author is trying to sell. Whether a tangible product or a concept, there is a point to every Story. If there isn't a point, it isn't a Story. Whether you buy or get it, isn't the point but in the best of Stories, you know exactly where to go and what to do when you get there. A good Story will leave you in a pool of emotion, good or bad. Sometimes you get a feeling of uneasiness or profound sadness. Others, put you over the moon. The two main Stories of Christmas may bring both emotions to the forefront and every year, we go through the same feelings.

I grew up on the Story of Santa and could not imagine a better Story. Every Christmas Eve, my sister and I would go to bed at 230 in the afternoon and try to sleep until morning. It was a time of being thrilled to death and the hopes of two little girls who knew the Story better than any other.

Later on, the Story of a baby in the manger would come into being for me and it seemed like such an opposite one from Santa, Rudolph and North Pole one. Not quite as sparkly and definitely a downer. It was tough to have these two co-habitate my brain. One seemed so predicated on being good and getting my heart's desire. The other, seemed distant, sad and didn't involve gifts for me.

We have come a long way and in the 2010, it is the year of Facebook. If FB Nation was a country, it would be the third largest in the world. How do you tell a Story and reach millions of people? Sounds like a win-win to me...

natural light...

This is the last shopping weekend before Christmas and you know what that means. If you choose to go out among the masses, expect everything to take at least twice as long. Twice as long to get where you want to be, twice as long to go potty, get something to eat or wait in line. I firmly believe that it is each of our responsibility to expect and anticipate delays and to be kind to one another in the midst of the hurry up mentality that will be in endless quantities.

Imagine yourself being bathed in natural light. Your soul being replenished by the familiar Christmas carols that will surround you. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Listen to the Hallelujah Chorus before you leave the house, maybe even a few times. Grab a snack and remember to breathe. Enjoy being with each other, make a friend as you stand in line.

If there is only one left, let the other person have it - you can find Something else. Treat yourself to your favorite beverage at some time during the day and put a little Something in a red kettle. Bask in all the Season has to offer, bath yourself in the lights of the Season and behave in the spirit of all that the Season is about. Have a great weekend...

senses...

The scientific explanation for chills is that the emotions evoked by beautiful or meaningful music stimulate the part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which controls primal drives such as hunger, sex and rage and also involuntary responses like blushing and goosebumps. When the song soars, your body can't help but shiver.MSNBC

We are a complex kind of people. We are not all Lovers Of All Things Guacamole. The smell of gasoline doesn't make everyone happy and for some, songs are not music to our ears.

If I could wish one thing for everyone, it would be that each have a deep love for music. That music, anytime of year would touch them deeply. Then, I would buy each and every one a set of Bose headphones so you could plug in and hear the music with no outside distractions every once in a while.

For me, music takes the anxiety down from 100 to 1. It bring tears to my eyes in an instant. Memories, good and bad come flooding back in seconds. I can soar like an eagle and the world becomes crystal clear in a heartbeat. The pity party is over, all unwanted guests are gone. The world becomes a nicer place and I could, in theory, give everyone a big hug.

Of all the senses - touch, smell, hear, taste and see, we all have those that we tend to pay attention to more. The ones that bring passion to our lives. At Christmas time, I believe they are all on heightened alert. Everything seems so alive and vibrant, one of many reasons that January is hard for most of us. Our taste buds are screaming for more, our ears are looking for something to listen to, we are craving the familiar smells of December, the Christmas textures have long been put away and the visuals of the season are gone and winter white is all that is left.

As we go through these last few days before Christmas, take it all in. Let yourself be in the Moment with each of your senses. Practice not depending on your eyes and let the others have a chance to describe what they see. Then, and this is the good part - take all that practice and your senses into January and see what you can find. You might have to take a big leap of faith, but there will be Something to discover. I am excited about seeing January in a different light and this maybe one way to chase those winter blues away. Worth a try, can't wait to see how it turns out...

blind but now I see...

After the Thanksgiving flu finally wore off, 10 days had pasted without spending one minute on my exercise bike. Quite honestly, I had gotten un-use to it and when the new week came around, I was trying to talk myself out of starting again. There were a few irrational thoughts that were shoving each other trying to get their crazy proposal why we should shelve any and all exercise, to the head of the line. While they were duking it out, I got ready and before they knew what hit them, we were rocking and rolling.

The bike runs on batteries or rather, the electronics run on batteries. Speed, calories, time. It was immediately evident that today's exercise would not rely on speed, calorie and timeless. The bike still worked fine - checked the clock on the wall and off we went. Decided not having batteries wasn't a deal breaker. Forgot to buy batteries on Monday, so Tuesday - same thing. By the time I got to Friday, I realized there would be no batteries - ever again. Not because I am cheap but because I realized how much time I focused on the electronics instead of why I was really doing this. This is week two and the way I exercise now is a complete 360. I go as fast as I can and i have no idea how fast that is. Not having to regulate because of the numbers on the screen, I can concentrate on going as fast as I can on any given day. I am riding blind and I love it.

Another place in my life where less is more. It makes me wonder where else this realization might be useful. There is a difference between sticking your head in the sand to not see and when the opposite works for you. Life, sometimes it just makes me crazy and Sometimes, it makes me so happy...

focus...

I am playing with light these days. Inspired by Tara Whitney and Shannon Lieth, I couldn't quite bring myself to take pictures in the kitchen of my dishes but I most certainly see what they see. I had to start in the living room. The red pillows to be exact.

Aperture is the place most of us get a little giddy. The idea is to have a part of your photo in complete focus and another part, in total obscurity. The choice is ours, which is which. As I took these, you can see - depending on where I focused, either the pillows of the table top was the single focus. It immediately reminded me of life. Depending on what one's sees, that will be their focal point. You could absolutely miss a complete BIG Something and a bunch of little somethings.

It amazes me that the same photo can look so different. I bought the pillows for the rows of texture. I love to feel them and look at them. In the photo where they are not the focus, you can't see any of that wonderful texture. They just look like red, plain pillows.

Kids, it may not seem like a big deal but the more days I get to play with this seeing, focus, light thing - I think it is a bigger deal than we have given it credit for and the older one gets, the bigger a deal it becomes.DH and i went out shooting the same barn, birds and trees yet our photos are so different. We each went where out eyes lead us and never looked back. He is into shadows and with me, it is all about the emotion.There is alot to be said about walking in the other guy's shoes to get a different perspective and you put them all together and maybe, just maybe you will see for miles and miles and miles...

see...

Went out to play with our cameras today and right off the bat, the birds were on the wire. Usually they are in smaller number and very skittish but we went around and tried to get them head on. It worked and I am a very happy girl!

Ran around town, doing a few errands and then out for some more winter shots. Came back into town and needed some fuel badly. DH got out and while he pumped gas, I sang Christmas carols along on the radio. He comes back in a few and gives me that, you missed it look. Apparently I did. our car was pointed in the opposite direction which would explain how I miss the shoplifter that had run away from store employees across the street only to be tackled by the two young gas station employees.

The kid was smiling, he had made it across the busy street and away for the four guys that were chasing him and knew they were being held up by two lanes of traffic. What he didn't see coming was the two attendants. When he did notice them, he loudly proclaimed, Oh Sh*t! They grabbed him and finally the store guys were able to cross and take them back to wait for the police. DH gets back in the car and I am able to get a few shots of the young perpetrator being led back to the store.
I saw the store guys waving and thanking the gas guys. we gave the gas guys a thumbs up as we drove off.

Been thinking about seeing and how much I miss. I sang through this whole ordeal, not a clue that had the kid decided to come my way and open my door, the outcome could have been not so great. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening. This thought has been going through my mind all weekend - never truer than today.

We see what we want to see.
We choose to not see at times.
And Sometimes, we miss it all together.

Had our little thief seen the Whole Picture, maybe he would have gotten away with it. Run a different direction, or maybe have brought a getaway car, but his language says it all. He thought he saw all he needed to see. He was wrong. What am I missing? Where do I need to look? What is it going to cost me if I miss it?

medium....

I love the idea that God uses all medium and artists. He is not restrained, no matter what we think. All art comes from Him whether the artist acknowledges it or not. No one rides for free. It rains on the just and unjust,that is often a bitter pill to swallow whether it comes to loss, talent, happiness, art and a whole lot of other things.

Imagine that He has great affection for graffiti artists. Their moving gallerie on trains allow them to infamous for seconds at a arms down railroad crossing. Still working on a book of photos of graffiti-covered railroad cars. The talent on these less than legal canvases blows me away. Thinking that they work under very undesirable conditions, not only at night but at times, they must have to work quickly. Very few luxuries available to these artists.

Here I sit in a warm room, with plenty of digital power to keep me company and all the time in the world to think. Neither way is better than the other, we all compliment each other. We revolve around Him, not the other way around. The Christmas season is all about revolving too. You get to choose - can it be all about Santa? Yes it can, I spent the 26 years of my life and it is completely possible and very satisfying. When the Impossible Medium of a Unbelieveable Story crossed my Journey, I was blown away. I keep going back to the one dimension of the way we are able to think and the umfathomable dimension that He has. We couldn't understand it if God started selling it at Hallmark. The Medium of the Master, makes it, Oh Holy Night, indeed...

remember...

Take a deep breathe, often.
Just zone out for a few minutes.
Thank God, without apology for whatever you think you have short-changed Him about, for today.

I have been where you are. Those days that going 90 MPH seems pretty slow. And I know, there will be more to come, soon. Enjoy the cold, enjoy the lights, enjoy the music, enjoy the madness, enjoy those that have been sent to cross your path. Enjoy the hustle and bustle and put Something in the red pot everytime you walk in a store because you can.

When this is all over in a few weeks, what will you want to remember? What will be the most important thing that you can capture from Christmas 2010? It will the memories, is always is. It will be the times we spent with each other. Whatever that looks like to you. There is no right or wrong way to do it

This year, Keaton's Christmas concert is the only music/play/party that the family has. The church doesn't have a children's Christmas program and the school has banned all Christmas parties. I have my own not-very-nice-opinions about both of these but that is for a later post... Got to say that hearing the 6th grade band play, We Wish You A Merry Christmas and the Jazz band perform, Baby, It's Cold Outside was great fun and I made a point, to take it all it.

It is a delicate Dance we do starting the week after Thanksgiving and marching right up to Christmas Day but with a little Common Sense in our back pocket to pull out at any Moment, I think not only is it doable but can be great fun. Remember to breathe and enjoy your Moment...

6th grade

Since my 6th grade choir concert at Ethel M Evans Elementary School where I learned to sing Oh Come All Ye Faithful in Latin, the words remain burned in my mind. It was probably 10 or so years ago that I decided that from now on whenever I heard OCAYF at being sung, I would sing it in my native Latin. So, when shopping the other night at Fred Meyer's when the familiar song came bursting thru loud and clear, I joined in quietly with the bell ringers. The words, fresh in my memory lay there for the taking.

This concert happened over 50 years ago and still fresh in my mind. We often hear that children are resilient, and of all the memories I have banked, these words have taken hold and just won't let go. Just this week, I heard Coach Pete say his players bounced back faster after their fatal loss to Nevada than the coaches did. Bless the little child and sing on people, sing on...


Adeste Fideles
Laeti triumphantes
Venite, venite in Bethlehem
Natum videte
Regem angelorum
Venite adoremus
Venite adoremus
Venite adoremus, Dominum
Cantet nunc io
Chorus angelorum
Cantet nunc aula caelestium

papa dude...

Papa Dude is quite the guy. Motorcycle man, a member of the USPS with a few more years to go. For as long as I can remember he took charge of many cruises. He would put on a little presentation and invite you along. No detail was spared, he had thought of everything. He is just one of those kind of men, who knows what he likes and is willing to put it all on the line.

He did the same thing when he became a grandfather. He put a lot of thought into what he wanted his grandson to call him when J started talking so he decided on Papa Dude. When I heard his grandma tell him to move down a seat, because Papa Dude wanted him too, I rememberedhim telling us this Story. Toward the end of the service, J got tired, snuggled up to his Papa and laid his head against the man in whom he knows he is loved. Unconditionally and often. When we feel love and happy, not much else can shake us. To know where the Love is isn't difficult - we go to where we have experienced that security, over and over and over again.

Not a bad day for a Sunday. Wish we could all have a Papa Dude in our lives. Somewhere we felt safe and loved. Somewhere we could land when we were tired and just needed a rest...Oh yeah, we do. All we have to do is ask...

romance...

Make no mistake, there is a romance to Christmas...

From Wikionary. romance (plural romances)

1.An intimate relationship. a love affair.
2.A strong obsession or attachment for something or someone.
3.Love which is pure or beautiful.

If that is not a perfect definition of the Christmas season, I don't know what is. been trying to wrap my head around this obsession that one way or another, consumes most of our waking Moments for at least a month every year. From music to food, gifts to postage, parties to decorating, and a lot of falalala-ing in between. We are enamoured, seduced and swayed by everything we come in contact with.

And on top of everything else, we tend to be nicer. We share more, give more, care more. Courteous, polite, more forgiving, we turn in to people we don't even recognize in the mirror. If that doesn't describe someone in the throngs of romance, I can't imagine what else it could be.

While the opportunity does come along to lose ourselves during the Season, we can decide when and where. We are not so feeble that we can't control it at least some of the time, same as with romance. The problem is we usually don't - because we don't want to. We like the feeling of the romance and have little desire to make it go away, even if there is a Cost. We are willing to pay it and I don't mean just financially. Just one more present, he would love it or she needs it - This is the Love language dialogue that goes on in my head. It would make them so happy. A round of Norman Rockwell for everyone, is my motto.

Even the baby Jesus can put us over the top on the feeling scale. It is a Story that is hard to take casually. You are all in and it is an incredible Story. One that deserves our whole hearts, without all the romance...

snow day...

The week after Thanksgiving and we have our first Snow Day in two years. I love the almost surprise of such a day. The news told us last night to expect up to 10 inches but we never believe them until we see it for ourselves and by 4am, it was one time the weather-liars hit it right on the head. Keaton called giggling says his mom wanted to know if I wanted to meet them at Costco for lunch. I told him if he had a sleigh to come pick me up. About 5 to 6 inches in my driveway so we kept in contact all day but phone and photos. Not perfect but I got to talk to each one of them and got their take on the day.

Being snowed in isn't the worst thing. Gives you an excuse to do all kinds of things you wouldn't normally get to do. Unexpected time is fun and hopefully when it happens, we take advantage of letting ourselves be kids again. It dawned on me today that maybe if we could be more childlike during the Christmas season, we would enjoy it more. Instead of running around trying to buy gifts for everyone we know, maybe we could delight in the season. What if it was that simple? Wow, if I could feel like a kid every Christmas that I have left, I would be a happy girl!

Thinking that being snowed in might be a mighty good thing, mighty good indeed...