Happy Mother's Day...

Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant says in a court filing that he never gave his mother permission to sell mementos from his high school days and early professional basketball career. Bryant is in a court battle over whether hundreds of items can be auctioned off. Pamela Bryant says her son told her the memorabilia was hers. She arranged earlier this year to auction it off through Berlin, N.J.-based Goldin Auctions and received a $450,000 advance.
ESPN

This little 5x7 card was a little extra Something, something that came with my photo order this week. Everyone who placed an order during this MD promo received one of these. For some, it will mean the world. For some, it will bring tears. For others, it will bring pain. For some, it will mean, nothing.

Mother's and Father's Day invoke strong emotion in most of us. We each have our own experience which is unique to only us. While some wouldn't have their childhood, any other way...for some, there is no celebration unless it is a, Thank God and Greyhound you are gone, Moment. Yes, I belong in the second group.

If you got dealt one of these cards, and can use it - by all means do. If you received one and need to, throw it out and don't beat yourself up. Now or any other Mothers Day. Ever.

If you are not a Mother and feel left out, celebrate with a friend or a neighbor or not at all but don't feel bad. You know someone who is a good mother, maybe to a two-legged darling or maybe, a four legged one. You probably have seen the love of a mother and child, even if strangers and, it made you smile. Maybe your favorite book is one of love the way everyone who is human, craves. NO matter how old you are, to have a safe place to fall... is an wish one never gets over.

With one frantic 911 call on Monday evening, three women missing for years were found in a Cleveland house where they had been held against their will by three brothers, police in Ohio said.
"I’ve been kidnapped,” Berry, who disappeared a decade ago, told the dispatcher. “I’ve been missing for 10 years and I’m out here. I’m free now.
NBC.

Whatver this Sunday looks like to you, be in the Moment. It only last 24 hours and then the world is off to something else. If you have Something wonderful to celebrate like I do, be thankful. There are many women who would kill to be in your shoes. Happy Mother's Day to each of us...

two...

If there is a number better than 3 or 7, it would be two. Two makes the world go round. Two makes one's think they are less than. Remember, there were two in the Garden of Eden and look how that turned out. The power of two.

I imagine the conversation that went on between Adam and Eve. Probably much like some of the conversations I have with Mr D, now. Two makes one go outside of themselves, maybe for the first time. You learn to share, not always be right... ok, you may be right but now there is a second opinion involved.

Back to the garden, how would you imagine that after being told, eat anything you want, just leave this one alone. How would you go about starting to justify going to the one, you were warned about. Everything was perfect, were you bored? If there had of been only one, would the outcome have been the same? Did either of them play the I don't think we should, card? did the other one say, screw it, we are doing this?

One can get in trouble as easy if not easier than two. With two, you have a chance that some sense will be thrown in there and maybe, just maybe cooler heads will prevail. Yet even if you are part of a two, there are probably more times than not, that you find yourself as a one and have to make go it alone. Wherever you find yourself, do the best you can with what you have and live the Dream...

expert...

That is what her nametag said, expert.

The Apple store has climatized all of us to their genius description so having a retail giant follow suit, didn't seem like a stretch. But, there was no name, just expert, written in all lower case letters. In retrospect, that was the first clue.

She was cashiering on a busy Saturday afternoon. I noticed her tag and immmediately my mind expected some kind of upgrade in service. That was my first mistake. Then she charged me double for an item that is commonly sold in pairs. She didn't have a clue, is what her face said when I pointed out her error. I started to wonder when the expert was going to kick in. It never did.

She redid the transaction, smiled and our time together was complete. I felt robbed of some kind of expected experience because I was led to believe, that's is what was afforded to me. Putting a label on someone, doesn't make it so. It might make you relax, think you are good hands and that might make you expect more. If you are going to wear the label, make sure you are the Real Deal. We will find out if you are or aren't. We almost always do...

idle...

Maybe you have to be a teenager to really understand the concept of being idle. Maybe it is only with those few early teen years that doing nothing is the one time in your life that nothing is truly made into an art form.

It is most certainly the time where listening to your music via earphones is at its highest concentration. You turn out the Real world and enter the one of your chosing. Tend to think this is where the first ideas of grown up hood, begin. The what ifs are not refrained or bound by money or talent. Anything is possible as long as the music never dies. One can dream, plan, plot and scheme. It is about the only time in life where that kind of behavior is tolerated, semi-accepted.

We are about to enter summer once again. Understand there are three weeks of school left. The warmth of the sun brings with thoughts of idleness with small bursts of response. We are each at its beck and call. No matter what season of life you are in, summer has its own agenda, its own rules.

There are some who are idle their whole lives. The dreamers who never got past the dream. Either too scared to try, or too lazy. Taking in correct doses, idle is part of the journey. When an overdose occurs, things tend to go south, quickly. Life is about taking what you need,and leaving some for someone else. It is never really ours no matter what kind of ownership we claim. Claiming doesn't make it so. You learned that in Idle 101. Review if necessary...

dream come true...

“...Being able to attend this event was the highlight of my life, this writer stated. I owe it all to my grandmother, a friend of the McClellin family, for including me in her invitation to the wedding! What ten year old BSU football fan would not jump at the chance to see his football heroes eating, laughing and having a good time in the Steuckle Sky Center?


This is part of an oral report that Gage did for school this week. Even almost a month out, this kid is still pretty excited about the wedding. For the bride and groom, it was a dream come true. They will never know that it was the same for a little boy. Someday, at Gage's wedding, I hope he remembers and has his picture taken with every little kid in the room that asks. You may wonder where my confidence comes from in this soontobe, someday NFL player. If you knew him, you would understand. Go BSU, Go Shea, Go Gage...

in the scheme of things...

I do realize there are much bigger issues in life.
I also realize that we focus much of our time, on those bigger issues.

This is not one of them.

Costco, Costco, Costco... how I love you and your food court so. From the fine chocolate yogurt, to the wonderful hotdogs and delightful ice cream bars.And your beverage bar, was one of the best. Not just because you used Coke products but the delicious mix of soda water to syrup. Having had a soda fountain in my home, I know of what I speak.

I overheard last week that Pepsi was coming in. Not just my Costco but corporate wide. I knew there was no turning back. Either Pepsi had an offer that Costco couldn't refuse and Coke would not match, or Coke stopped caring. Either way, It was Doomsday and I happened to walk in that morning. I got there just as the final handshake was being done.

I spoke the words I never thought I would say, Pepsi please.

Thought I would get it a shot, my shopping at Costco will not be brought down by one measly little drink, Sonic is only a few steps away.

I was not disappointed... It was swill water, as is my Diet Pepsi experience most everywhere else. New machines, new recipes, the magic is gone.

Life is all about change, some good and some bad. If I try a put a spiritual spin on this, not sure how God could turn this into good. It is like using your superpowers for the wrong team.

Some one had to be happy. Pepsi people will rejoice. There are those who share the same blood as me that are Pepsi people. My favorite SIL is one, I heart him so. Still do.

In the scheme of things, it is a little thing but when you add it all up, it is still a little thing. I get that. Way to grow up, Little Girl...

she, her, me...

This weekend proved to me, once again, how many strong woman are in my life. The woman who gave me this sign because she said, It screamed, you, is also, one. It can't all be me, some are related some are old friends, some share the same blood. Whatever is going on in our lives, at any given moment, is always paired with passion. Strong women are all about passion. Very few of us have any neutral territories in our lives. Even the barren ground has stakes with signs that state the intended use, Coming Soon!


It is like looking in a mirror. Gives you a great sense of yourself and how you come off to others. The worse part is if one is with a few or more of these ladies who are all being passionate at the same time. Just walk away.Especially if you are in the middle of a passion Moment of your own.

You have to remember to breath.
You have to remember, this too shall pass.
And most important of all, you have to remember, you are one of them...

the photographer...

My friend posted an article about if you are a guest at a wedding, please be careful about taking photos. The couple has spent good money for a photographer and videographer and you, Mr and Miss Guest, are in the way.

That train has long left the station. Been to a wedding recently? Everyone has a cellphone and has tweeted, FB or whatever their choice of intenet travel and it is everywhere. Got to say, have seen seen a bride or groom disappointed, to say nothing of mad? No and you won't. If the bride and groom feel that way, they need to give written instructions when guests are invited and that, is not going to happen.

There are even apps now that will link anyone's cell phone to any given wedding, and the bride and groom get a whole set of photos that the wedding photographer could never get. They are only one person.

I have shot weddings and know a bit about them. That said, I will never, ever be a first shooter at a wedding again. At the NFL wedding we just attended, I shot 336 photos, one of the first was my grandson and one of his football idols who came out of a photo booth, grabbed Gage, put on a feather thing and oversized glasses and told me to take a picture. What a night!

Talking to a friend's daughter yesterday and she attended a wedding where the bride and groom gave out prizes for the best Instagram photos during the wedding. It is a new world, my friends.

The photographer at this wedding, knew her stuff. She looked as relaxed as could be. She just kept shooting around all of us. Great respect for her, she had a bit of time after the ceremony to take pictures and a few at the reception but the rest, were on the run. If I was interested in doing wedding photography, I would learn to embrace the technology and figure out how to make it work. This is not going away, ever. Shooting in tandem with wedding guests is the new normal and I for one as a guest, am having a ball...

5AM...

Heard an interesting tidbit from my SIL the other day... It doesn't matter what time you go to bed, your body resets itself at 5am. Those who wake up before don't get that reset and have a shortened life expectancy. Apparently those who work the 12am shift have a shorted shelf life that those who work day shift.

I am an early riser. More accuartely an early waker - upper. With some help from my doc, it is a bit better now, but I still have to work for it. Most night/mornings, I just get up and start engaging my brain. News, FB, music and well before you know it, it is time for everyone else to get up. I already have 5 hours in under my belt.

Since this new information has come my way, I am trying to learn to stay asleep. This morning was a trial run and unexpectedly, it worked. What was different, what changed? only the inward resolve that try as you may, we aren't going to engage. We are staying in bed, awake if necessary. I went through a few of my rituals but the engagement kept creeping in. Finally, I went to my homeless shelter place. It is where I imagine I am homeless, sleeping on a mattress about 4 inches off the floor. I have a great line of sight under all the cots. I continue to listen to the noises around me, near and far. NO thinking about how I got here, that would be defeating the purpose but just taking it all in. This is a prayer for me, has been over the years. My father was homeless for a time, I iamgine what it must have been like for him.

I awoke a few minutes before the alarm was set to go off. It worked. To purpose to not engage my brain had allowed it to return to sleep. For me, this is a very big deal. 5am is still a wonderful time to be awake. The world is still, still in quiet and in the state of non-doing. While I will not always be successful at being asleep at 5am, I will try this again. Engagement is my default. I hit the florr running everyday. Want to be able to say that you can teach an old day new tricks and be, that dog...

crossing lines...

We each have lines in our lives that we won't cross. It has nothing to do with peer pressure but everything to do with how we are hard wired.

Not talking about obeying rules of a religion or an employer. Talking about the nevers in our lives. REgardless of what everyone else thinks or does, these are not in our sight of vision. Saying no when everyone else is saying yes. We can waver and move nevers from camp to camp but these are usually generational changes that come with age and a big does of, I was wrong. Accelerated from the inside out, not the other way around.

Sometimes we hear of someone's line and think, Really? That is where you draw the line? Remember this isn't about right or wrong, necessarily but by an inward push/pull. I remember when my dad and who would become my stepmother, moved in together. I was horribly embarrassed and lied, saying they were married. When they got married, I had to make up another Story. I was not raised in a house with rules and certainly none having to do with being married, yet that was a deal breaker for me and made up a Story, to make it ok.

Know your lines, understand them.
If they change, change with them.
If it feels wrong, don't start now.
Stand your ground.
If you are wrong, and proven wrong, let yourself off the hook.
Life is too short to not listen to that still, small voice...

manipulation, the good and the bad...

If you sense you're being manipulated, walk away. Don't try to change a manipulator. They'll do it till it stops working.Donald Miller.

If this is news to you, you are about to learn a powerful tool in your life. If you are unclear about when and who has maniputated you, get smart quickly. The thing is, it is always the same MO( method of operation). Once you understand it, it is like a bike - you never forget.

I learned it early growing up. It was part of the Daniels 1.0 guide to learning how to survive and learn it fast. Whether from family or friends, it always starts the same way. The only difference is how you finish it. Keep giving in and they will keep coming back. Refuse to play along and they will find someone new, it is just the nature of the beast but it will not be your problem any more. Would like to say I learned all this overnight, but sadly, I did not.

Remeber the children's story, the Emperor's New Clothes? Subtle and non-existant. Because he couldn't face the truth, he went along with the tailor. Where did it get him? Butt naked, sublte enough for you?

And yet, when my grandchildren do it, and make no mistake, yours do or will also, it is a wonderful thing. They already walk around with your heart, and you have a great opportunity to guide them or just abandon yourself to them, and give them whatever you can. It is the best kind of manipulation because you own it. That is the difference between us and the king. Own it now, own it often and don't let anyone lead you. Lead yourself, pull up your Big Girl panties and be able to lay your head down at night, knowing you did your best. That is all that is ever asked of any of us...

vegan sneakers...

They put their logo on pencil cases and sweatpants. They partnered with Macbeth Footwear, run by Blink 182's Tom DeLonge, to sell vegan sneakers...Time

Vegan sneakers. I must be getting old.

It takes a lot of effort to keep up with what the younger generations are doing and even more, to understand them. Yet I see it everyday. The world is changing, some for the good, some for the not so good.

Keaton passed me in shoe size last year. A few months ago, he surged past me in height. I knew the day was coming but wan't ready for it yet. Much like the vegan sneakers, it has not Real to me yet very Real to the world. Maybe not but it seems like these days are changing faster than any other. What's old is new again. Retro is back big time, makes me with I still had those orange and yellow flowered sheets from the 70's. Could get a pretty penny on Ebay for them now and my orange toilet, don't get me started. yes it was in the living room and yes, it was a planter.

I love the app where you aim your phone at a song while it is playing and it tells you who is singing it. Now, that is putting technology to good use. I stay as current as Twitter allows me. The last few years I have learned more on social media than any other medium. No longer having to wait for anything, nothing says immediate gratification as well as Google. Instant information available 24/7, 365, all for the taking.

Now, if only I could use to slow my grandson from becoming a man. I did see that there are people working on keeping kids little and not growing up. Maybe him growing up isn't so bad but every other week! Keep up Sister, run the race, you can do it...

first responders...

I have said before, I don't believe in heroes. I believe that people do ordinary things in herotic ways.

When you are making a choice as to your life's work, you know the risks of said work. You may choose work where you can help. That is in your nature, risks, be damned. If you choose to be a policeman, firefighter, the military, a doctor or nurse, you know trauma will always be involved. The rest of us become stockbrokers and car salesmans, for reasons all their own.

Even me, the glass half-empty girl, believes that when in a fight or flight situation, most of us are not only willing to help but by instinct, will jump in. Nothing extraordinary, just doing what is needed in the Moment. It comes as naturally as breathing. Those are the Moments that are heralded as herotic, yet are instinct-based.

If I did believe in heros, it would look must different thatn the standard definition. My hero would be flawed severely. There might even be some madness involved. To me, being a hero would be going against what might come naturally and able to forgive themself and try again. The absense of flaws, is not possible in any of us. We have good and bad, we are black and white. Some of us are a big more unbalanced and some, are just off the charts and should not even be asked to participate into this conversation.

Tested out my thoughts on the guy in the grocery right behind me this morning. He said that people called him that when he came back with two bullet holes from WW2. He also said all he was trying to do was get home, get married and have a family. He blames the Rocky movies for the elevation of heros these days.

I appreciate and honor all those who hear the cry for help and run in that direction. We can feel good about what we do. Sometimes, you may find yourself in a battle you didn't sign up for. Imagine that you would kick being a human into high gear and do your best. That is all we ever ask, just do your best. The thing is, it looks different on each one of us and that is Sometimes, hard to remember...

RIP Brennan Manning...

My phone whistled, and the text from my friend said, Brennan Manning has died. I started to cry. It was not just because of losing a trusted mentor. I knew he had been ill with alsohol related brain disorder brought on by his chronic alcoholism. Yes, one who taught me about the love of Jesus because he knew it personally.

The last time I saw him, I already knew. One does not forget that smell. I walked up to him after a series of lectures and I smelled him, long before I got to his table. That smell that you instinctively know. The smell you knew forget. The smell of the habitual intake of alcohol. The smell that last long after the last drink which may have been an hour ago or much longer. I knew before he came clean with his struggle. I nver said anything to anyone. I was in christian shock. How could someone talk about the love of God and have an issue as deadly as the sin of drink? How little I knew then, now I know.

It may not be drink for your and me.
It may be brownies, or shopping or the internet.
We all struggle and those that say they don't, are lying.

Yet, the last couple of weeks have been filled with more than a few deaths. One was very close, and the news of Brennan's death... started the tears and it would be a while before I could contain them. Still feeling a bit weepy, yet I know how his body had given up on him a long time ago and the greatest gift he could get was, death. No more pain, either physical or emotional. He is now with his Abba. All these years of talking about Him, now it is time to experience it first hand.

Richard Francis Xavier Manning, we wish you peace. RIP, we will miss you...

why here, why me?

One of the recurring thoughts in my life is why was I born here?

Why the United States of America? Why not Russia or China or India? I won't know that answer to that in this lifetime. Maybe never, but it doesn't stop me from asking. When you read of the countries who would give their eye teeth for clean drinking water. Forget about big screen TVs and iPad, a full belly would delight them. A delight that I am not capable of understanding.

If I lived in Sri Lanka or England or france, would I be envious or feel like a dodged a bullet at not being born in the USA? I always think every other country would kill to move their familes here but that is not altogether, true. We are a legend in our own minds. There are days, I am ashamed at our behavior or lack of. We have the resources, the intellect and the stamina to make more good choices than bad yet that doesn't seem to be the way it goes.

In the space of 1 hours on Thursday, there were five threat made to 4 local schools. By that evening, three business had also been targeted. Friday, it happened at Keaton's middle school. His text said he had been outside, standing, waiting. He said the admin moved the kids away from the building, with no explanation. Less than an hour later, they got the all clear.

You can not go a day without hearing about a shooting. Schools, mall, movie theaters. It is changing the way we think, and the way we do business. Will admit, have been thinking about taking a concealed weapon class and buying a gun. Never, ever thought I would consider this. Never thought about having to protect myself or my loved ones in this way. Never.

The older I get, while I still feel fortunate to live in this great country, I can see the flaws and fess up. Eyes wide open and with Newtown, firmly in my mind, a waving flag - still gets to me. Pray for our nation, pray for each other. We are in uncharted territory. We are truly learning to live in the Moment. God bless us all...

normal day...

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you and bless you as you leave. Let me not pass you by in hopes of a perfect tomorrow. Mary Jean Iron.

It doesn't get any easier than this.
It doesn't get any harder than this.

How can that be? Easiest and hardest? Make sense, please.

Depends.
Are you going to a wedding or a funeral?
Are you home alone or in a meeting in a crowded room?
Can you focus on right where you are or is your mind, off and running?

If we wait for the perfect time to_____ (insert wish list here).
It will never happen.

If we ignore it ______ (insert issue here)
We think it will go away.
It doesn't.
It never will.

Mormal day, let me be aware of the treasure that you are.
Let me learn from you.
Love you.
Bless you are you leave.
Let me not pass you by in hopes of a perfect tomorrow.

Could it real be this uncomplicated?
What do we bring to the table that makes it seem almost impossible at times?

Going to focus a bit more this week, see if I can't make this a daily prayer. The perfect time is now and I am jsut the girl to give it a go...

eight...

Today she is eight. How did that happen?

The easy answer is one day at a time. Days still feel like hours to her. She is still at the age where anything is not only possible but life is going to go on, forever. She has no defined concept of time. If she is in want, it is dire and if she is not, life is good. Maybe not a bad way to live. maybe I could learn something.

She doesn't know that yesterday 5 local school had bomb and personal injury threats within one hour's time. Or that her mommy got a text while we were all having her Birthday Lunch that his school had been evacuated and would stand outside for over an half hour before returning to their buildings. She does not not where Newtown is and what occured there. Today she is in birthday bliss and no one can make her shake it off, as it should be.

Happy Birthday Miss M! I hope you have many more carefree birthdays! It is your day and we are following your lead. Sometimes Real Life is overrated. Don't let the bad guys get you down. Define yourself but the good in your life, not the bad. Thank you for being the best, I love you to infinity and beyond...XO nana.

Wow...

We talked about the Wow factor in bookclub the other night. Help, Thanks, Wow is one of my favorite right now and Annie Lamott makes me smile. Someone asked if the Wow factor lessens as we age. Most of us thought it did not. I agree.

When you are young, you are pretty much your own Wow. You think nothing bad can happen and if it does, it won't affect you. Then comes career, family and kids. You still think you have a little Wow left but it is has grown a bit dull. A few more years, and you are running ragged with no Wow to be seen for miles. While the Wow changes, what is looks like and where you find it, aging gives you the time and clarity to not only see the Wow but look for it more, in places you never imagined.

For me now, Wow can be in the BIG or little things. It can come in an instant and be gone, just as fast. It can come in the form of a glance, or a face. It can be a person, place or thing. Yet no matter what form, it always, always points to the One, who made it. It reminds one that we are little fish in Huge pond, yet we are all loved deeply by the Fisherman. We are not privy to the same Wows, we see what we need to see. We are all given, and it is up to us to, allow ourselves those precious Moments.

I have had a great many Wow Moments, maybe more than my share. Praise Him for those Moments, those times when only a Wow would do. I am seeing them more and more, doesn't get much better than that...

I do...

There are two events that bring us into the Moment, in a real way, real fast. Weddings and funerals. I love them both.

Will save the whole funeral experience for another post but suffice it to say, I do love funerals. DH says I may be the only one. I am good with that.

A wedding will take you back to yours. Or your best friend's or your second cousin. even with all the culture changes, they follow a basic pattern. Get married, and party. The colors are different, there may or not be a tradional cake, and the music may be sweet and romantic or funky and loud. Dpending on how we are attached to said bride or groom, will set the tome for how many people we may know. There may be much catching up to do, or you may find yourself, alone.

We all adapt. At this wedding, I knew few people and was surprisingly, chatty. Made frieds with a sports agent and we were chatting I mentioned a blog post by Donald Miller last week about the twenty-something generation and he immediately, got on his phone and directed his attention to that post. One does experience different conversations in direct preportion to how well you know the crowd. You either find your way or stand aside. This wedding was all about football players. They were a joy to watch, like watching a bunch of jr boys except they were all huge and very, very well-dressed.

But just like my own wedding, there was a bride, groom, cake and people. Mine was much smaller which makes it tough to hide, like one of my DH's friend's and his wife who misread the invitation and showed up the night after the wedding. I do or did, indeed...

destination...

At his age, I had no idea of what I wanted to do when I grew up. He does and already has an agent.

He has grown up around the blue turf. He explained all about it to his new agent, Chase. Poppa explained the history of building the stadium and how they used buckets, not huge trucks in to dump concrete. Being a fossil sometimes, helps. I think Chase has Gage;s back now.

We are a mixed of bag of what we like, what we have been through and what we think. Not always in balanced preportions yet we mostly manage to find our way, eventually. Some get a headstart, others of us have to think fast on our feet. Either way, we are built to accomdate both schools of thought. Thank God.

You can take the boy out of the blue but you can never take the Blue out of the Boy...

6 degrees of seperation...

It is not often in this life that you get to go to a special event. It is not often you get to bring such joy, to one you love.

We had the wonderful opportunity of attending a wedding where the groom plays in the NFL and all his buddies are there too. A group of them sat in front of us at the wedding and were what I expected, still acting like little boys. So excited to see each other, high fiving and hugging... the whole nine yards.

At the reception, more trickled in. We sat with two football agents who are already geared up to sign Gage in a few years. Someone even got them so scream, Show me the MONEY! It was a magical night. Not often do you get to see your football heroes, dance the night away.

He has looked forward to this, for months. It did not disappoint. Still on Cloud 9, we will attempt to get through the day. Rock on little dude, rock on. Chase said he will be ready for you. Thank you Shea and Sam for a wonderful time and Congratulations, may God bless you both...

for/against...

For or against. It comes down to these two camps. Most of the time, we could give you an instant answer when asked on most any subject. Some, take more thought.

It is good to know what one stands for. It is not good, to define oneself but what you are against. Not good for you, not good in community.

Know where you stand. The old adage, if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything, has merit. Those who can never seem to pick a position, are asking for trouble. We each need a basic set of beliefs and then build on those, by what we are for, not against. Go ahead and be against Something but make sure, it does not define you. That it is not your motivater. That is a part, not a whole of who you are.

Today, it may be boys. Tomorrow, who knows. She made each of her brothers Easter cards where she shared what she loved about both of them. She is so for them, just not in her room, right now...

You did not make the iPhone. When the iPhone was being dreamed up, you were in kindergarten. You use the iPhone. And when you post a picture of your vacation, it doesn’t make you a genius, it makes Steve Jobs a genius. Steve Jobs is dead. And he died when he was your parent’s age. You’re alive. He can’t create something new, but you can. The ball is in your court.Donald Miller.

Never thought about the Steve Jobs thing. Apple is now the boss of us and run by 20 somethings but they haven't come up with many original ideas. The path has been set for them, laid out a couple of years ahead. Steve Jobs knew he was dying, others will not get that luxury. Each generation thinks their ideas are better, more hip and each have to some degree, been wrong. Donald Miller's prediction that much, more will be expected, sounds like Word to me.

We are people, humans and that basic nature will never change. You can doll it up or dress it in evil, whatever spin you are trying to create to prove your point but the bar can and has been set higher than at any other time. That doesn't change human behavior. Let's just pray that each generation uses it's powers for good.

You are not more entitled than any generation before you. Even if your parents paid for your education, and you have an iPhone(that your parent’s generation created) and can tell one-thousand people what you ate for lunch, you are not special. You are one in several billion people who God made, and you are equal to each of them, no matter how wealthy they were or how poor they were. In fact, with the tools you have been given, much more is expected of you than of any previous generation, and much more will be expected of your children.

easter...

Kept Easter close to the vest, this year. Not sure why but the last week, I realized that is was ok. That Sometimes, we are private and while the whole message of Easter is to tell the world,the Holy Spirit can get His message out, if I am quiet. Social media covers more than we could ever imagine, not that God needs help but I think He does like to hear from our hearts. It is a good thing that we are not all silent at the same time. I thought about Sandy Hook and all the Easter baskets that would not be this year. Those empty spots at the table this year and lots more.

This morning it was all brought in to one moment when my favorite ever song leader was so excited,...He has freaking, risen. Could never be prepared for that, would not wish to be his inbox this week but his enthusiasm, was infectious. See beyond the word, see his heart. He has freaking, risen...Could not have said it better myself...

new kid in town...

Tried out the old/new cafe that just opened around the corner from us. Nice little addition to the strip mall that formerly held a Hostess cupcake store. They moved from a location, Down the road. Never heard of them before. Funny how in a town of only a few people, this one passed us by.

Some things are meant to change, like businesses in a strip mall. They come, they go, you adjust.The new kid in town always has to prove himself and with social media these days, it is much tougher. They need to be on their game, all the time. Left them a nice review this morning, Hope we get to grow old together.

If you noticed a new kid on your block, give them a chance to prove themselves. I know, I know. I am the worse for always making the safe choices at places I am familiar with. I don't like the idea of wasting money by trying something new but how will you learn if you don't try?

Their Tshirts say, Living the Dream. Thanks for coming our way, Blue Sky and thanks Self, for giving it a go...

champions...

If asked, we could all list the many, mnay things we are not very good at. Even those that we stink at. Really stink. We know them like our favorite cousin, we can recite them backward and forward but what would or could our inner tshirt say about what we are good at. The stuff that championships are made of. Bragging rights aside, what could we each. come up with?

Much tougher to take ownership of the things we have been gifted with, without sounding like a blowhard. It is a fine line to walk but walk it we must because it speaks to keeping balance in life. We are not all good, nor are most us, all bad. A well-balanced person has both kinds of traits and can be honest about them, to ourselves and others. If you can't be honest with your friends, time to get new friends. If you can't get honest with yourself, no better time to start than today.

Using one's powers for good, is a lifelong process. We are constantly changing and that goes for personality traits as well. You must continue to go as you change, be willing to let things go and be able to pick up something new. Baby steps, but always moving ahead.

Think about what you do that helps others. It may or may not be the thing you like best about yourself. How you feel is unimportant,but what you do could change someone's life...

kick it to the curb...

Still my book of the year, and this month's book club selection. I keep coming back to it again and again...
He was a star player, it was expected that his team would win and win quick. After watching more than a few basketball games in the last few days, it is apparent that basketball has a rhythm all its own.

This player and his team were behind, most of the game. They were ranked at #1, their oppenent, at #9. For all but a few minutes of the game, it seem like it was Opposite Day. In the last 29 seconds, he and his team took possession of the ball. A two point basket would tie the game, a three pointer would win. Forgetting the last 2 hours that he missed three points shot after three point shot. They showed them all. Nothing to be proud of, much would make one want to run and hide.

Was told that a good player, forgets what has happened. No beating up of one's self. Just go forward, be the one that you are. that you know yourself to be. He takes control of the ball with 29 seconds to go, despite his poor track record, he will not relinguish the ball to anyone else. It is do or die. With 2 seconds to go, he goes for the three point shot, not the two which would tie the game. It was go big or go home. With the clock reading .2 seconds, he makes the three point shot. Forgetting all that had happened, he moved forward. There is a lesson to be learned here. About the self talk we all do. There may be a fine line between being cocky and willing to take the risk. Maybe we would all lead better lives if we really believed that within each of us is the curse of being human and to accept it and, move on. I imagine that men can do this better than women. We ladies, hold an awful lot in and take on blame, slower to let it go. Another thing to accept and move on. Not sure if it is too late to take up basketball, but it is never too late to try, try and try again...

from the couch of...

The last 10 days have been a blur. First, Miss M gets a fever and will get to keep it for 6 days. It will be alot of nursing and threatening, going on.

Take your medicine, please... Drink more, please... It will end with her daddy offering her a American Girl doll for her effort. She also tells me that she is allowed one, small hissy fit while taking said medicine. She did not disappoint.

I was so proud of myself, staying well. All that healthly eating, is finally paying off. Then comes, The Day. By the end of that first day, I didn't know my name or where I was at. The fever lasted about 12 hours and Miss M and I would spend the next day together. I am seen more 19 and Counting, Good Luck Charlie and The Suite Life, tham ever before all combined, in my life. A couple days in bed at home, and I am starting to feel like my old self, except that I have discovered March Madness and I may not come out until it is over.

What a rush! The idea of you win or go home, is fascinating to me. Doesn't matter what your record has been up to this very date, if you lose, you go home. No do overs. No second chances.
There have been some killer games. One game was won by the team who hadn't lead all day with .2 left on the clock. Unbelievable. March Madness, where have you been on all life?

If not a chance encouter while laying, sprawled across the coach, waiting for some unknown amount of time in which moving might seem possible again. Up and sort of at em, time to return to Real Life... well, maybe, one more game...

Come on, Spring Brake...

Miss Morgan is going on Day 8 of high fevers and this nasty flu thing. We have been going back and forth doing everything we can to get her well. It has been a team effort. Now, the troops are starting to fall. Day 1 for nana, hope this ends soon. Please let next week be better. Come on, Spring Break!!!

smoke...

I know very little about smoke or the Catholic Church. Have gleamed a bit from friends and family over the years. Smoke has traditionally been sent to other body parts, and the little I know about the Catholic Church, is incomplete.

But I must say, the whole conclave, choosing a new leader is fascinating. There is very little pomp and circumstance in our lives these days. It is all about social media where word travels faster than at any other time in history. There is no rushing to choose a pope, it is all about the smoke. And waiting, is at the very essence, something most of us do little of anymore.

Shortly after the noon news started, networks broke in with the announcement that white smoke could be seen coming from the Sistine Chapel, followed quickly by the ringing of the bells, leaving no one in doubt, a new pope had been choosing. As I waited with those on TV and in Vatican Square, it was a stark reminder that not everything can be known by social media. There were not hints of who the new pope would be. For a few short hours, it was even implied that an American could be chosen, I was rooting for Cardinal Doyle!

But alas, at the time of their choosing, the new Argentin pope appeared. It was nice to see a pope who appeared in good health, able to lead a church of over a billion people. The last couple popes seemed to be circling the drain and with all the changes in the world, not able to keep up, pay attention and lead. This pope, seems to have crossed that barrier.

He took the name Francis. Named after Francis of Assisi. I like that, think I would pick that for my name.

The smoke, the bells, the tradition. One can always learn, and be thankful for those things which enrich our lives. Welcome Pope Francis...

be ready...

If you Google, Billy Joel and Micheal Pollack. You will never forget either of them after you see the video.

You can't hear but when Micheal Pollack walks up to the stage, Billy Joel askes him what key he plays the song in. His reply is, What key do you want in?

This Vanderbilt freshman was ready. He stunned the audience filled with his friends who already knew him and Billy Joel as well. His preformance was flawless, his confidence was sweet yet confident. He was ready for this Moment, and had been for a long time.

New York State of Mind, will never sound the same. Maybe that is the way it should be. The old passing on the the young because they show they are ready. We each need to ready, to be able to step up when it is time. No time to cram,o practice. It comes naturally, because we have done it a thousand times in our mind. It has become second nature, no need to be nervous.

Well done, gentlemen. Well done...

highlights...

The basketball season ended last weekend. Had a chance to watch Gage's coach and how he interacted with his team. I think he was a perfect match for 10 year old boys. By trade, he is trained to help people puts their thoughts together, to help them make sense of the lives they have been giving. He is the only coach I have ever known who has not passed out the different stars at the end of each game. He waits until practice, the next week.

Sportsmanship, Christlikeness, offense, defense. They are each given a particular star and told why. This coach ends the games a bit differently. He asks them to highligh what they or someone did right. He won't let them dwell om mistakes. He will say over and over again, just the highlights.

Not many places in life where you are only allowed to talk about the highlights of life. You complain, you get better service, or something free. Most everything we do rewards the complaints we make. Police officers don's top you for going the speed limit. There is no prize for telling someone they undercharged you. You get results when you go agains the grain. That is why we are all, so good at it.

Thanks Coach for the lesson. Tell me the highlights, what would that look like in each of our lives?...

Wow...

Im soooo ready to burst - just can't keep it in any more. My God is such an awesome God! I thank Him over and over again for all my many wonderful blessings and guess what - He just keeps them coming! Thank you my blessed God! I will continue to serve you & love you & keep you with me always!

A comment on my FB page yesterday. It was posted about 2 hours after I had a 2 hour conversation with her. We tried to catch up on 20 years. We tried to comfort each other about the past, and remind each other that we are still here. We both learned things we never knew. The reason this resonates with me is a comment she made. We have a long past together, not all of it good and we didn't talk much about spiritual things.

It must have been something else happened to her today that would bring about that kind of unbridled joy. Talking to me would not do that for anyone but I am smart enough to know, that sometimes it just happens and if you lucky, you get to be a part of it. You get to see the unbridled joy. It may be just what you needed that day. It sure did that for me. Talking to her today had a cleansing effect on me, it also caught me up on the Love that I never knew, came my way. Thank you Auntie, I hope we get to see each other again in this life but if we don't...Thank you for the Love, it means the world to me...

cropping...

There are hard and fast rules to cropping a photo, I just don't happen to believe in them. When you crop a photo it is usually to make a statement. To emphasise a image, to make it the focal point and to get rid of unneccesary clutter. These three are SOOC. No cropping. This is exactly what I saw and wanted to capture. There is a Time and Place for Portrait style photos but 90% of the time, it is about everyday life and everyday life is not about the Rule of Thirds in a 4x6 format.


As with so many things, I have my own way. Sometimes that gets me in trouble and sometimes, most of the time, it just doesn't matter. Rules are made for all and if they apply, be all means use them. If they don't, feel free to crop outside the lines...

little fish...

I am always better when I remember I am just a little fish in a big pond...

Most of us are ok with being a LFIBP if, somewhere in some small way, we think we are a Big Fish somewhere in our lives. We need to feel important, viatl, relevant, in other words...loved. In the Big Pciture, we want ot know that our time here left an imprint on someone or something.

When on eis a Big Fish, certain amenities apply. You perceive thaqt your words, your way is more likely to be the correct way to proceed. That in becoming a Big Fish, you have already been proving, right. Your chest is pumped up a bit, you stand a little straigher, so people can find you easier, to ask your opinion, or for your ideas. Things that are never asked of a little fish.

Little fish are a dime a dozen. In the unlikely event you need the advice of a little fish, all you need to do is reach out and grab one. Anyone will do, they are basically all the same.

So, why would anyone WANT to be a little fish? Shouldn't we always, always be striving to be a Big Fish? Little fish aren't about being set apart. They are about community. They are about we not me. When you take the step to become a little fish and make no mistake, you must choose, you are choosing a way. A way that may not always be easy to live with. A way, where at times, all is lost. On the other side, it is a Place where you can grow gratitude, learn the path of humility and ponder until you are all pondered out.

I have lived on both sides of the Pond, Big Fish, little fish. While one may feel good for a while, the other brings peace. And that, makes it all worth while...

everywhere we go...

First we check for wifi service and then we go straight to, You Tube and the BSU Broncos. Yes, he is obsessed. He will watch old bowl games, everything BSU. This was a highlights video of one of his favorite players. He knows the plays, he knows their numbers, he knows his guy.

Doesn't matter that football is done with for a few months, his love knows - no bounds. It is forever, until it isn't.

For most of us, most of the time and for most things... It is forever, until it isn't.

People, places, things. Emotions, feelings, thoughts.

It is forever, until it isn't.

A baby who parents were killed on the way to the hospital, died today. Can only imagine their last thoughts were all about him and then, they weren't. Got myself all twisted up in a bunch because the local school district has decided to go back to outside granduations at all three high schools. Because of a mistake, their mistake and now parents and teens have to suffer. Maybe they should cough up the $12,000 needed to rent the Big Arena so everyone can attend. I have been to an outside graduation at one of these schools. The weather was brutal and it was tough on everyone. Your mistake, you take the blame not the kids. Right now, I am still riled up. It is forever, until it isn't.

Forever in the short term, it should have its own word. We are a passionate people, yes, some more than others and we meant it when we say forever. Forever always looks like a long, winding road but the truth it, it could be over in seconds...

awareness...

this is the day that God has made. psalm 118

really-this day? the one with wars and poverty and divorce and addiction and betrayal? this one?

yes, this one.

this one because there’s a difference between analysis and awareness.

analysis pulls things apart, looks for cracks in logic, points out the inconsistencies.

analysis needs things to make sense.

there’s nothing wrong with analysis, of course, it’s often vital to our survival and thriving. but if we stay there, in that mode and that mode only, we can easily find ourselves stepping back with arms folded, pointing out all that’s wrong with this day and all the ways it falls short and all of the evidence for why this particular day doesn’t appear to be the kind of day that God would make-all while this day passes us by.

(this is very easy to do, by the way. it’s why cynicism is so popular. it’s easy.)

but in this psalm-the one that says that this is the day that God has made- this psalm isn’t first and foremost about analysis, it’s about awareness.

and the difference is massive.

awareness doesn’t ignore or gloss over the very real questions and pains of this day, it transcends all of that analysis with the very straight forward acknowledgement that whatever this day is, it’s a gift to be embraced and engaged and maybe even enjoyed.

this day maybe be rough and bloody and heartbreaking but it is here and it is now and it is bursting with untold potential and possibility and our response to it is of utmost, urgent importance.
Rob Bell.



Yesterday brough shock to the digi community, one of their own passed away. Many of my sisters were caught off guard and the day was spent in many, many I Can't Believe it Moments, grief shared. While I did not know her personally, the love her friends have lavashed on her, is ummistakeable. One can't help but grieve, for the one loss but for themselves too. To know how quickly, life can be taken away. We need to be jolted into remembering this and sometimes, nothing short of a grief, will take us there. It is about today and it is about awareness. As I prayed for this precious soul I thank God that she got to meet her her twin grandbabies that were born last year. I thanked Him for making her illness short and hopefully, as painfree as possible.

For the first time in over 8 months, I forgot my iPod when I went to the Rec Center. I decided to go without. It was tough. I heard all the sounds that normally don't even cross my radar. It was tougher to pray. To pay attention, my mind wandered farther and farther. I forgot about today and the gift it is. Too much analynis and not enough awareness...

flu...

True story... My friend gets the bad flu that is going around. She is sick for days. Starts to feel better, go's to her husbann's school to help with a fund raiser. One of the events involves kissing a goat.

She does.

Less than a hour later, the goat is dead. Enough said, be careful out there. It's a jungle...

Bose or Dr Dre...

We had a sleepover last week and most of the time, we were gone. These single child events are based on their personal immediate need. They get to pick where and what we eat... and, what we do. This time it was Gage's turn. The food choice was Golder Corral and the search was on for the perfect set of earphones.

It was a two day event, broken up by a movie and then the next day, playing Soltaire at Flying M. Even then, the whole earphone thing wasn't far from our minds.

We are not talking $20 earphones, we were running with the Big Dogs. Dr Dre's tapped out at $250, the Bose at $350. All three of us are earphone snobs and each have a difference of opinion. It is not that we hear everything the same and just decide which ones are the coolest, it really is about the noise. The Dr Dre's, IMHO, have more bass and sound a bit tinny. To Gage, there was nothing better. Color and style did play into it for him. The Bose are nothing to look at but the sound, that wonderful, wonderful sound. We agreed that in a perfect world we would have both, like the Best Buy guy who wears his Dre's to mow the lawn and the Bose's, for every thing else. He was partial and made no bones about he. It is not good or bad, it just is.

We all went home earphone-less but all in agreement that we had a couple of swell days, trying to work it all out. Sometimes it is about the purchase and maybe Someday, we will all sit on the couch, in complete harmony with our respective earphones, agreeing to diagree. This time, it was about the journey and sharing it together and that we can all agree to, now...

angels among us...

We pass this house everytime we go to the kid's house. It is basically in the middle of nowhere. An undescript brick house with little to define it. A few bushes, a tree and lonely wreath of a holiday long gone... and this angel. It sits there all the time. It is never adorned with the popular theme of choice, no buntings or garland. Just a statue of a white angel. It does not seem to be affect by weather, have never seen in on the ground, nor have I ever seen anyone around it.

I have passed it a hundred times, yet only really noticed it this week. If I ever seen a live person outside, I am going to stop and ask what the Story is. What does it reperesent, what has it seen, what has it done. Kind of like the idea of a 24/7 angel watching the house, protecting is as only a white cement statue can. Focused, rigid, not deterred by friend or foe. Just there to do a job. Imagine we could do a lot worse. Way worse, actaully...

happy ...

Sometimes, it just falls into your lap. You never saw it coming, and if you did, you weren't sure what it woldl look like. When it came, dressed as nothing he could ever have imagined wanting, he was quick to embrace, in fact it was instant.

We have a couple of months to go and there will be photos. Papa and I will keep our eyes on him and there will be dancing involved. He is already picking out which tie to wear. I told him he had to dance with me. That is what you do at weddings. He has never been to a wedding, this may be his first and only time. Like manna falling from the sky, he could not be happier to go to this wedding and we could not be happier to take him. Let's do it, Dude...

Downton Abbey...

I am late to the DA bandwagon. Not just late but have been actively fighting it for almost 3 seasons. My friend that recommended it also recommended So You Think You Can Dance and that didn't turn out too well. I have a band of friends that love the English and their culture. Keaton loves Mr Bean. I feel the same way about Mr Bean and Pride and Prejudice, let's just say, not my cup of tea. Downton Abbey had me within the first 5 minutes.

Suffice it to say in that the last couple weeks, DH and I have given up days, to make it through Seasons 1-3. I must now wait for almost a year to find out what happens next. I already know that it will start 4 months after Matthew's death, Mary will have made some progress in her grief - the rest is unknown.

Not sure why certain TV shows grip us so intensely. Why their Stories become ours, or at least we care about them more that some of the Stories of our own. Last week, I found some relatives I haven'nt heard from in a long time on Facebook. While I am excited to hear some of their Stories, I am at the Moment, more vested in the servants and household of DA. Some families are close, others aren't. It is just the way it is.

So I will live my life for the next year knowing that if the Real Person of Matthew wanted to, he would still be in the Story and would not have to have been killed off. It was by his own hand, hope he can live with that.

As for me, one of my life's mottos is, Never Say Never. You never know where your heart will wander and want to attach itself. You best be prepared...

Happy Valentimes Day

Flowers, chocolate, a sweetheart... In a perfect world. Yet, we can all make the best of the situation and find somebody to love. A pet, a friend, a neighbor. It is not all about lust, it is about love and you can love anywhere if your heart is open. Hope you were able to celebrate the life you do have, the love you have instead of dwelling on the have nots. I know some will have eempty places in their hearts for Valentines, lost. Time to learn a new way, after all isn't that what life is really all about.

Wherever you found yourself today, I hope there is a smile on your face. Hope you shared a hug or two, and gave some of your own Love away. It may seem like a silly holiday but to participate is to give it meaning.To each and every one of you. may God bless your hearts...

Lent...

This is my first year, participating in the tradition of Lent. Having watched others and learned from their experience, it was my time. The what to give up, came quickly and there was no mistake about what it should be. It wouldn't make sense if told you but suffice it to say, it is my way.

I look forward to the focus of the Lenten season. Never having any formal training, and not looking for any - the concept is easy enough that I can make it my own. To make it meaningful. To remember why. We human don't have the greatest of memories, look at our own timelines and that will be apparent to even the smartest of us. Any given day, we are pulled in many different directions and some days, focus is nowhere to be found.

Whatever my experience, it will remind me of what I have. My hope is that I will gleam a bit more of the meaning of gratitude. That I will not take my everyday life for granted. That I will love Mondays as much as Fridays. Our days are not promised and should be cherished.

So, here is to another adventure. God is so good. Got word that Brianna did get to go home from the hospital today. Over 6 months, she has not been home. Funny, that she would go home today. The Divine at work, I think so. I really do...

keep your eyes on the ball...

Even when one is keeping their eyes on the ball, even then, you don't always catch it. We tell ourselves, You should have got that one or worse. What if the prize was not actually catching the ball but being present, keeping the eyes on the ball?

I realize that kind of logic wouldn't work in a basketball game, but rather Real Life. I also know that a basketball game is only an hour long. Whether we make the shot or not, just being aware that the ball is around and may be coming our way, should be victory enough. Sure I cheer when she makes a basket but as I watch her defend her player, I am more aware of her than at any other time. The ball in the basket only lasts a few seconds. Watch her run up and down that court, following that ball where every it goes, for the better part of an hour, now thats...a game...