damaged goods...

I saw an ad the other day for a cleaner that would clean a 10 yr old cookie sheet. IMHO, cookie sheets have a short life and need to be replaced not cleaned. On average, I buy sets of three every year. I just can get myself to use an old, hunk loving piece of metal to try my delicious(insert food here)new favorite.

This sign might change my mind.

Damaged but still good.

Sounds a lot like what most of us say to ourselves, at one time or another. None of us is perfect, and we are probably a whole lot worse than even we imagine. If we applied this sign to our lives, I imagine we would be more loving, more understanding of others. The way we treat others is shadowed by the way we treat ourselves. Love me, love my friends. If we are able to see pass the outside, we might get a glimpse of the pretty, good inside. If I can see the flaws in myself and decide to look beyond, for a second glimpse...I can do the same for you and that, could change the world...

it's the most wonderful time of the year...

I know, I know. The song is about Christmas but I think I could make a pretty good case about fall, fitting the bill.

There are many of us that think fall is the best. The warm days and cool, crisp mornings. The trees and leaves are starting to turn colors. There are pumpkins, everywhere and there is a feeling of being one with all things, fallish. Hot cocoa after raking leaves, making smores around the fire pit, and visiting the pumpkin patch once...or twice.

Fall just makes me happy. Exercise seems like a good thing. Wearing a jacket first thing in the morning, is a small price to pay when one know's that in a few hours, it will be short sleeve weather again.

Along with my daily To Do list, during this time of the year, the idea of being greatful, is an easy one. The Big Picture is easier to see. The best of life can be seen for miles.

Today was a good day. A quick trip to the local pumpkin patch, with my camera, was all I needed to put this day in perspective. Thank you Fall, I so needed to see the world through your eyes. You are a true friend, and one to be greatful for, and I am...

prayer...

We have been praying for Brianna for many weeks now. Praying that God will touch her and heal her. So far, we are still praying. Asking nicely, sometimes, begging through tears. Courtesy of Brandi, we are praying the Word of God, inserting Brianna's name, which comforts us as well.

As I was walking the track today, here comes The Weary Kind again, on my shuffle. If you have seen the movie, Crazy Heart, you know the song. First thing Friday, this song came on and I was reduced to tears. I kept moving and then heard these words. Funny, usually on the shuffle, there are no repeats...

And this ain't no place for the weary kind
This ain't no place to lose your mind
This ain't no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try
. The Weary Kind/Ryan Bingham

It didn't make the tears go away but it reminded me that prayer isn't a quiet, little ritual. It is a powerful, maybe even animated force, that is not to be taken lightly. No matter what you are praying about or for, it is a time that is not to be messed with. If you have been praying and it seems like you have not gained ground, don't let it get you down. Don't rely on what you can see. Know that what you can't see, it greater than what you could ever imagine. Be confident that as you pray, God is near and is praying with you. So, I pick nyself up, wipe my tears and go on. I believe that God is able to do anything and I believe in Brianna's prayer - I know it doesn't look good now, but I am going to be alright. Word...

daily...

Am compling a list of Things To Do, Every Day - No Matter What.

Whether the sun is shining, or my heart is barely beating. Some, like gratitude and prayer are of a spiritually nature. Some, like being fluid and less sarcastic, are more of a personality issue. Learning to be satisified by recoginizing that I am full, will be a constant battle, one that will never be mastered this side of heaven.

Maybe the same can be said for each of my Dailies. That by admitting to being human, I understand and do by acknowledge, that very little comes naturally and that most everything is a discipline on some kind of sliding scale.

It is easy to love my family, it is easy to love chocolate. I had a Golden Corral kind of day last week. I mean, I really did go to Golden Corral, Miss M chose that as her place to eat on our sleepover. She always choses Chapala, always but at the last minute, Golden Corral was the choice. You would have thought I never have seen a buffet and would not be able to gather food, for a long, long time. I did not hold back. It was a free for all, right on my many plates. Wish I could say that won't happen again but it will. Maybe I will stop sooner, maybe not.

It is a list that I will continue to add to. Very few times can we sit down, make a complete list and not have or want to add too it. We are grocery list kind of people. You start a list days before you are going to the store, you tell everyone to add what they need as they think of things, as do you. Three days is a good number, if you/they haven't remember they ran out or needed something in three days, it can wait until the next shopping trip.

Tomorrow, I am going to add being brave. Life is risky and sad enough as it is, I don't need to foresee and imagine what else could go wrong. Yes, definitely adding being brave...

strangers...

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. Heb 13.2


Are there times, that we prefer strangers around us, instead of people we know and love? I think there may be.

This is the stuff for late night talks around the fire. The air is cold, the fire feels good against our toes and faces, our bellies full of smores. Ideas pop up that would never see the light of day. Free to contemplate the what ifs of life, we set our minds free, and follow their lead in new directions.

Strangers allow us to tell our Stories, one more time.
Strangers let us to be emotional when we can no longer be strong.
Strangers mayt bring a new perspective to an old problem.

I always, until this very Moment, saw the Hebrews verse as a physical, hospitality, the act of preparing a meal for one unknown. What if it also includes, the sharing of ourselves? At times we need it the most and by that very act, been loved on by angels. Wow...

true...

All things live, all things die and God is in control.Donald Miller.

Seems a bit cold. While this is not news to us, it is not a Place we want to think about or can stand to live. I can't tell you how many conversations I have had about what it would it take for me to give up my faith and walk away. Would I have the strength, the will, the faith - to keep walking. To keep trusting, to keep loving, to keep believing.

How about the death of my child or my grand babies, would I be able to see a Bigger Picture that God would send or would I say, on the inside, Screw you and walk away?

The truth mayb lie in the Moment. Trying to hedge your bets for future acts, can not be done. We have what we need in the Moment and don't get more until we need it. And then, it is up to us to accept it. Lord, help us all...

walk away...

don't be afraid to walk away. Unknown.

I say unknown but really, I can't remember where I heard this but I do know that I keep coming back to it.

In the middle of a deep conversation today, these words kept coming back. There are things we all need to do and things we should not be doing. As with all of life, knowing how to tell them apart is tougher than it looks and we do and will make mistakes.

If you walk away for the wrong reasons, you will be sorry and there will be consequences. That is what we fear, the consequences. That fear will freeze us in our tracks and make us less likely to try again. If we should walk away but won't because of fear, commitment or failure, there are emotional consequences. Have a had at least one issue in this camp this week, made a decision and will live with the consequences.

We will never get it right.
We will make mistakes.
But I have to think that if we are not afraid to walk away,
we will make more better choices, than if we were afraid.
It gives us a choice, it gives us the ability to live freely.
It gives us the chance to be human, and live with those choices...

reality...

You are going to be okay. Your moods are rarely reality. Reality is something else. Trust God.Donald Miller.

Good words to start the new month off with...

IMHO, reality shows in the droves that we now watch, have skewed our idea of what is real and what is not real. Maybe blogging has also. we live in a immediate gratification world and with that, comes change, and the change comes from having a new normal.

I know of several situations where families are experiencing a new normal. The loss of a loved one, sickness of another. Their lives, not their moods, have been changed and it is a permanent change.

Read this morning about a family who took a 31 day challenge to their finances. Nothing but essentials for 30 days. No clothing, eating out or Starbucks. They saved over $1000 in a month. That is a mood, there are many people out there who live the same way because they have no other choice, and they, don't save anything. In fact, they go into the money hole, deeper and deeper every month.

What is my mood today?
What is my reality today?
What is the Place where these two meet?

And, what does that look like in my life? Making a list of things I try to practice every day. Telling these two apart and making choices based on those identifications, just made the list...

what do you believe...

You will never know how much you believe something until it is a matter of life and death. C.S Lewis

If you believe in Something, most of us will take that belief, pretty far out there. We will defend it, protect it and if done in an unhealthly way, lie about it.

There are obviously degrees, of beliefs. Some we believe until it has been proven to us, that it can not possibly be true. Some beliefs, when it concerns our families, we deny and refuse to see what it really is, even when it is right in front of you.

One can believe and still be honest. It isn't easy but it can be done. Our beliefs are formed from childhood, experience and environment. Some we carry to the grave, others move and shift. I could tell you at least 5 things that I have changed my mind about in the last couple of years. I could also say that being able to reverse a belief is part of being fluid which is Something I practice purposefully, every day. I believe in it, that feriously. With the same fierceness, I can also say that some of life's beliefs have roots that need to grow and some that need to be dug out. Trying to figure out which is which, is a life long Journey.

If you are or have ever been in a life and death situation, you know what it is like. This is where the Rubber meets the Road. Sink or swim, what you believe is where you live. Every choice is based on that belief. Every decision comes from that core belief. Good luck...

tethering...

tethering - connecting one to another.

Found myself heartsick this morning, reading an email from one who needed a big hug. I can't get to her, she can't get to me. We share the Love of God, we both know He is here, no matter what but Sometimes, we all need to see/feel, Jesus with skin.

When someone feel helpless, when their faith has been crushed,and their hearts bruised, those of us who stand with them have the ability to stand in the gap. I immediately tethered her to me and I reached out, praising God for His Love. I have been where she is at and don't wish it upon my greatest enemy.

Fatih most certainly, waves and faints. The winds and sometimes, the tornadoes of life bend us until we think we can take no more. We are beaten down, branches on the ground. The scene is horrific. What we can't see is the roots. The roots, below the ground whose job it is to dig deep, to provide solid strength for when the winds come.

Invisible to the naked eye, we forget about the roots, who thrive in darkness and work around the clock, to steady the tree. When the winds come, and they always do, to each of us, we battle and it seems we are fighting a losing battle.


Hang on, your roots run deep
Hang on, it is not over.
Hang on, I know things don't look very good right now, but don't worry because I'm going to be alright...

you saw what?

I have always said that 5 miles in any direction of where I live, you can find an adventure. As we were going through the back roads, this tepee with its full field to do tepee-things magically, appeared. The house sits back from the road, overshadowed by the obvious meeting place.

A few miles down the road and you will find a plastic deer sitting on a front porch. Someone with a sense of humor or crazy nut job. I am not brave enough to walk up to the front door to ask. Some Stories should not be told.

I have plenty of those too. When a conversation was headed for a shareathon a while ago, I turned to DH and told him it was late enough and we were not drunk enough to tell The Story. He understood perfectly but I can imagine, sitting around the fire at Camp Tepee, with a little bit of liquid refreshment and the right crowd, and the Story being told. That I can imagine. We all have them, and we should all keep them to ourselves, mostly...

won't back down...

With Gage being sick last week, just waited for the next shoe to drop and that happened this morning. Miss M was up and was down for most of the day. Banjo came in to lend moral support, or just add more nap to his already-napful day.

In between naps and the fade periods, we talked. She had some questions about a project that she is putting together and I filled in the blanks as well as I could. Her task is for someone else. You can tell by the questions she asked that she has put much thought into her project. I most certainly donated to this worthy cause and when she can, she plans on soliting funds from her brothers too. I don't think she will need to be on Kickstarter to fund her idea. I think when those close to her, hear her plan, she may have more funds than what she needs.

When we see a reason. and make a plan, no isn't part of the equation. We expect some bumbs and bruises along the way but expect that and move on, as if the plan had a mind of its own. We rarely look back or fret. It is just a matter of time, before it all comes together.

We counted out her funds and she has $31.90 to date. She also showed me what she is thinking and it is swell. Better than swell, can't imagine what that might be but I can tell it is. It is a wonderful idea, built on prayers she has been thinking and saying out loud. Her questions today were not about money but on the technical side. Would said recipient be able to have something considering she is in a restrictive environment? Not exactly knowing the answer to her question, we decided that if she could not, then she could later. That seemed to take care of her concerns so moving forward on the Plan.

Looks like someone is going to have to stay home a second day and we will get to iron out more details tomorrow and I will be bring another donation. I just love it when a plan comes together!...

love the one you're with...

...the decision on how we choose to live this one short, precious life. The decision to stop hitting the snooze button. The willingness not to be good at things right away, to be clueless but committed; to make more messes and mistakes in the interest of living with spaciousness and a sense of presence; to find out who we truly are, who we were born to be, and to learn to love that screwed up, disappointing, heartbreakingly dear self of ours. Anne Lamott.

Does it seem to you that this whole willingness stuff, starts with ourselves?

It the reason we are stuck, does it start at our emotional front door?

Am I my best friend or my worst enemy?

I am finally at an age where I trust myself enough to do Something and if it turns out to the be the wrong decision, or a course correction needs to be made, I know I can do it. No more self condemnation or second guessing the first choice. If I have to say, I am sorry, please forgive me - I can and will. Old enough to know what I can live with and what I can't live with. My choices are not based on senority or favortism, they are based on what needs to be done, in the Moment.

I have come to an understanding about myself, I am just alright. Not perfect but kind, flexible and willing to help. Am I perfect? Far from it but I can live with that. When it counts, I hope to be the best I can be. That is all I can expect, and that, I can live with...

the bottom line...

Gage's class learned this poem and recite it every day at school. Not a bad way for any of us to start our day...

THE BOTTOM LINE


FACE IT, Nobody owes you a living
What you achieve or fail to achieve in your lifetime,
is directly related to what you do,
Or fail to do.
No one chooses his parents or childhood,
but you can choose your own direction.
Everyone has problems and obstacles to overcome,
but that, too, is relative to each individual.

NOTHING IS CARVED IN STONE,
You can change anything in your life,
if you want it badly enough.
Excuses are for losers:
Those who take responsibility for their actions
are the real winners in life.
Winners meet life’s challenges head on
knowing there are no guarantees,
and give it all they’ve got,
And never think it’s too late or too early to begin.
Time plays no favorites
and will pass whether you act or not.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.
Dare to dream and take risks…
Compete.
If you aren’t willing to work for your goals,
don’t expect others to.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF/Keith Kennedy

beauty...

Not a big beauty person. Yesterday I spent $20 on a haircut and eyebrow treatment. The eyebrow ting cost 2 dollars more than the haircut. I am extremely happy with both. A little bit of hair color from Walmart and I am good for a long time.

Those women on House Hunters who choose a new home based on the size of their wardrobe, I do not understand. I have about 10 pair of shoes of which 99% are black. If you would look inside my closet, you would find black shirts and jeans. The shirts would be short-sleeved or long sleeved, depending on the season. Attempts have been made to alter my appearance, and they have all failed miserably. I have on occasion for Miss M wore pink, sorry if you missed it.

While my hubby will not go broke with my beauty and clothes leanings, he most certainly may with my electronics fixation. Now there is a reason to make sure, one has the best floor plan, one that will fit all and future electronics needs.

I still do not own an iPhone. I am with the only carrier that has decide to revolt. My iPad has convinced me that the iPhone is the perfect product but you better by the extended warranty. The iPad Mini is scheduled to be released next month, and I am all ears. This is where I shine.

Fashion Week, you have no hold on me. The perfect purse will be an life long quest but for now, we are good. You got to love a woman whose $9 haircut made her giddy. Beauty most certainly is in the eye of the beholder...

today...

With in a six hour period, the circumstances that appeared in my Today, took me from potentially leaving for California as fast as I could, to getting a haircut and hugging my babies, very tightly.

You never know what any given day will bring, all you can do is be ready. Ready to shift, ready to let your plans, go. There is much flexability built into retirement but one must still be quick to pack, and leave on a Moment's notice.

For one who has no gypsy blood, it might take a bit more effort but I am learning. Walked into one of those quicky hair cut places and with the day's events still burning in my brain, shared the details with a couple stranger, even asked for her prayers, not knowing if she prayed or not. It didn't matter, we were two people who shared a few brief Moments and agreed to share with each other. Would this exchange have happened with the details? I have no idea, hope we don't have to have something Big before we interact with each other. That would be a true shame.

What will tomorrow bring? I don't have a clue but after a day like today, you can bet your bottom dollar - I am more prepared than I was yesterday...

never, ever give up...

I needed to see this sign today.

None of us have super powers. It is human to need to be reminded, that until it is over, there is hope. In the face of everything we see, feel, touch and know - those superpowers are self imposed, not given.

Our lives revolve in circles. The Stories that come our way, the people that we touch -all come into our world and become a part of our Story. There are several circles insdie my life right now, that need to heed the sign's advice. It is not about noting ever bad happening to us of those we love. It is about lving through those difficult times. It is about learning not to avoid the pitfalls of the Journey but how to go through them. It is about being brave and not cowardly, running away when it gets tough. It is about being there, no matter what.

Thanks Sign, not only for the words but the reminder that I am human...

ready to go...

It all started with a text at 914am.

Keaton, Whats Up?

As he would say later in the day, you've got to be bored to text your nana on saturday morning.

No offense, he would quickly add. None taken, and I meant it.

Through about a dozen text, it would seem that all three kids were available for a quick lunch. That is usually not the case, they are older now. Gage had two birthday parties to go to this weekend, Keaton has mowing duties and Miss M, has girl stuff. Luckily for me, all three were free for a bit so off we went.

Now that they are older, the choices are more difficult. Even choosing somewhere for lunch was not an easy process. Trying to find somewhere we could talk, Gage asked for no fast food, Mexican and Chinese were still fresh in their minds but we finally came to a meeting of the minds for FuddRuckers. For those of you who don't a FR close, it is a hamburger place where you get to pick your HB accessories, bottomless fries and the coolest soda fountain. It looks like some thing the Jetson family would get their Coke from. 12 kinds of Mello Yellow and 7 kinds of Caffeine Free Diet Coke, a first in my book.

We had a great lunch and got Gage back home in time to get ready for his party. Settled into watching the BSU game and picked him up a few hours later. First thing he asked was, What is the score? Was on the phone with Poppa and got to give him him an immediate update. He went to a birthday party for his friend when he would rather be home watcing the game. He made the time. He was ready to go, just like I was when there was a change of plan. Be flexible, be ready to go, always...

No, maybe, yes...

Fun Run. Isn't that an oxymoron? Would I ever run in a with a group of people who are in different genres of running, or not running at all, for no less, a season?

No, never, minus a gazillion. Whatever the lowest response is, that is where I come in on that question...but all of life is not lived in the Never. I know, finally I get it.

No, maybe, yes...

While I mostly run hot and cold, black and white, and even, yes and no - there is a Place for, No, Maybe, Yes.

It is usually not a single event for me. There are few times I have said no to something and then in my mind thought, maybe and even fewer times, yes. However, it has happened.

Rarely do I second guess my gut feeling which is always my first response. 80% of the time, I am good with whatever that choice was. It was made in the Moment and is always the way I would choose even 300 days Down The Road. Not always the right one but the one I can live with. The times I have gone into NMY mood immediately was for the wrong reason even if it made someone else happy. The times I changed my vote, after some deliberation, from No to Maybe to Yes, were choices that started with a no but were worth a shot at a do-over. Rarely have they been the wrong choice, even if it wasn't what I wanted to do. if it didn't hurt anyone, and might help someone, it was worth it.

Is this a good way to live? Don't know, it is the only way I know. Is it getter than living in a NMY constant state? I think so. Not every choice need that kind of scrutiny. Some need more, some less. Most of our problems come when we get those two camps mixed up. All hell breaks lose, for everyone.

I had to make a NMY choice today. I did not get the frozen yogurt at Costco. The choice was make over a bit of time. starting before I left for Costco and decided 2 hours later when I walked out with a Diet Coke instead. Baby Steps...

point made...

A while back, I talked about how Miss Sweet Tooth was no where to be found. She had disappeared, a feeling that I never experienced before and seemed to be a blessing in disguise. After weeks after she left, her brother, Mr I Will Never, Ever Have to Eat Another Bite, appeared, Again, this seemed like a dream, come true.

It would turn into a nightmare. I would lose 30 pounds in 6 weeks. I would wake up feeling way past full, not able to even drink 4 ounces of water, let alone, eat. What I always wished would happen, did, yet I was still not happy. Truth be told, I was petrified. Not sure how I would stop this runaway train, a colonoscopy an dmed change, turned everything around.

That experience will never be lost on me. Be careful for what you wish for, you just may get it.


How many other things have I wished for and thank God, were not given? We think we know it all, we think we know best. The If Only's that take over and try to soothe the aches of our minds. Now, Miss ST and her brother are back, stronger than ever but I see them in a new light. I am thankful for them. Not because they are familiar or predictable. I have new respect for them. We are making a new path together, on my part, there is no more wishing they would go away and never come back. I am trying to work with them, explain why their way may not be the best way. I am asking for their help and Sometimes, I am just telling them, no...

multitask...

Most of us don't make our living on being able to solely on multitasking. This gentleman is the expection.

We all multitask at some time, on some level. It is built into the human condition. Some do it better than others, I would dare say that women do it not only better than men but have a broader range of being able to do tasks that are completely unrelated to each other. It is part of the Woman gene pool.

On the other hand, because men live more with easily with their emotions, and can seperate the important from the essential, perhaps with a bit more broad approach, they come in handy also.

I am sure I have offend both men and women with the two paragraphs above. Whilte there are always exceptions to every rule, generalities are what I am describing now.



All that to say this, learn what your strengths are. Don't worry if you can't keep up with your SIL or if your friend's house is always, always neat and tidy and she has kids too. You have been given what you need to start, and then along the Journey, you ask for more. If you run ahead, trying to do in all on your own, you may run into trouble. Baby Steps, if you understand that you can never run ahead and get an extra grip, or whatever you are looking for, then when the Bad Things come, you understand the concept of asking for more. We humans were never meant to store up tasks, emotions and dare I say, most anything. Look at a child, they live in the Moment. We lose that skill as we grow up. We need to be reminded every day. There are Times and Places for thinking about the Big Picture, for today all we need is for this very Moment and while it might seem that surely, we have enough to get through this day, I think that would be thinking that might not hold water.

Today, I am doing ok. DH has a temporary, part time job with long hours. The first few days, I wanted him to quit and stay home with me. I had gotten use to him being here. Monday, I need some new skills because what I was doing, was not working. New skills asked for and thought process changed. Will get through this couple of months and get on with retirement. Funny, how we can unlearn what we would have sworn was ingrained...

911...

Anyone who was 10 years old on 911 will always remember where they were and what they were doing that fateful day. For Frank Culbertson, it is especailly true.

The only American not on earth on 911, was Frank Culbertson. He was with 2 Russian Astronauts at the international Space Station. This is how his recollection of that unforgettable day.

I had just finished a number of tasks this morning, the most time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew members. In a private conversation following that, the flight surgeon told me they were having a very bad day on the ground. I had no idea...

He described the situation to me as best he knew it at ~0900 CDT. I was flabbergasted, then horrified. My first thought was that this wasn't a real conversation, that I was still listening to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just didn't seem possible on this scale in our country. I couldn't even imagine the particulars, even before the news of further destruction began coming in.

Vladimir came over pretty quickly, sensing that something very serious was being discussed. I waved Michael into the module as well. They were also amazed and stunned. After we signed off, I tried to explain to Vladimir and Michael as best I could the potential magnitude of this act of terror in downtown Manhattan and at the Pentagon. They clearly understood and were very sympathetic.

I glanced at the World Map on the computer to see where over the world we were and noticed that we were coming southeast out of Canada and would be passing over New England in a few minutes. I zipped around the station until I found a window that would give me a view of NYC and grabbed the nearest camera. It happened to be a video camera, and I was looking south from the window of Michael's cabin.

The smoke seemed to have an odd bloom to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the city. After reading one of the news articles we just received, I believe we were looking at NY around the time of, or shortly after, the collapse of the second tower.

As he signed off, Culbertson reflected, "I miss all of you very much."

change...

in 12 days, it will official be fall. Every warm day after that should remind us of why some of us love it so.

It never occurs to me that winter is on its way, that is one of the lovely side effects of fall. I am lost in the color, the breeze and the smells of fall that cold, and snow are on its way may be in the back of my mind but never affect the euphoria, that is fall.

Time for hay rides at Linder Farms. picture of the kids in the pumpkin patch, hot cocoa, slippers, reading in front of the fireplace, chili and feeling the wind in your face. When you walk outside, the hot dry air that comes roarin gat you is replaced by wind and falling leaves.

There are few things in life that affect us the way weather does. Those who love winter have very little in common with those of us who would prefer to hibernate for the entire season. I love that there is a Place of each of us. We don't have to agree, or participate but there is a lot to be said for encouragement and respect. Winter People, I love you.

non profit...

DH and I were talking the other day about if things we would like to do if we had means and he said he thinking Non-profit insurance.

I loved his idea. I'm thinking cars, houses - later on, I would find out he meant, medical insurance.

Whether a church, business or even personal finances, your base drives what you do. It is about money. If money is not an issue, the rules of the game can be different. If you don't need to generate an income, how would your model change?

We all need to make money to do what we need to do but after that, whatever that looks like to each of us, what have we sacrificed in mind, body and spirit. If money is not the motivator, what would our personal model look like. If we could think outside the box with no concern for our well-being tied to it, what would our lives looks like? How would they affect others? Could and would we do more for each other?

If we were not so busy chasing our own tails, worring about how we are going to pay for this and that, how would that change the world? The truth is money is a short term and long term motivater. It is a constant in each of our worlds. Are we better people when it is not part of Something we are involved in? Can we look at our lives and see what ratio we live in profit and nonprofit? What ratio should it be? Should it be lopsided? Should we forget about winning the lottery and and do small things?

I love talking photos and when I got my first DSLR, is was about taking photos of my grandkids. Then the thought occured to me, I could make money taking photos of other peoples kids,and gks. The whole process changed, and I had to look at it from a business stand point. After a while, my focus changed. Was I willing to be available on a Saturday afternoon at 430PM when that was the only time a customer could get the whole family together? For me, that price was too high to pay. I went back to taking photos when and where I wanted to. With that change, also came a change in focus. Anytime you add or subtract the issue of money, the focus changes. It has to, and we must each decide on many different levels, where we want to focus. I admit, I would rather live in the non profit world all the time but that is not reasonsable but what is reasonable it understanding that we have a choice and that we exercise that choice. Make it your own...

headphones...

Headphones saved me as a child.

It would be high school before I would discover them but I digress. The summer of my beginning descent into junior high, would bring chicken pox. It also brought music via a transistor radio. My life would never be the same. That summer, with nothing to do but scratch, introduced me to a lifelong love of the All Things, Rock and Roll. Later, when the headphones were brought into the mix, I had found my utopia. Johnny Mathis, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, the hours spent by myself with the music took me out of the unthinkable and into the wonderland.

Have been a fan every since. Years ago, I spent $100 on a set of Bose headphones. They are still my go to headphones today. Must admit, I have a small collection. I carry Apple buds, for the kids (they hurt my ears!) and a black pair of SkullCandy's for me. There are some sort of earpieces in most every room, you never know when you might need them. For Ted Talks on the iPad, they are fabulous. Garrison Keillor on Saturday afternoons, you will never miss a joke. Solitary Moments that allow me to come out and share.

DH and I have listened to a few high end sets of phones and might splurge Someday. Not sure if headphones are a introvert sort of thing, I hope not. There is just Something about the focus or a song, a talk - Something personal and refreshing. Something that soothes the soul and allows one to catch up with life and put it in perspective. Used them last night for a Ted Talk and the creative juices were flowing afterwards. Sometimes, it is the smallest of things that give us the biggest return...

the internet...

We have two Papa Steve's in our family. One, I promised would not be on the internet with a potato between his knees. To the other one, I made no such promise.

The internet is a wonderful and scary place. It seems like one has to take a lot in, then decide what to keep and what not to keep. In theory, we would get better and better at this but there is also an element that keeps giving us, less and less of the of what we need.

Still it is out there, here are a few of the Places that I have been hanging out at lately.

Snapstagram - great little site that will take photos off Instagram and sends you a roll of 12 prints for $6. I know, I know, I don't have a smart phone either but you can still upload your nice, from your computer photos and have them printed in a square format. Have done 2 rolls and I am hooked.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee - Thursday nights are CCGC night around here. We gather around the iPad and watch Jerry Seinfeld and guest talk about...nothing while riding around in a cool car and having coffee at the local coffee shop. I would love to do this in Real Life and I look forward to every Thursday night.

Storyline - Have been waiting for Don Miller's new book to come out, tomorrow is the day. I firmly believe that each of us has a Story to tell and that we each should tell ours. Don't compare your Story to someone else's. It's not interesting enough, it is too plain - your family needs to hear your Story, no matter what because they will see themselves because they are a part of you. Going to see about maybe putting a little study group together and encouraging each other to see the validity in telling our, own Stories.

As with everything, there is a good and bad side. The internet has changed our lives, the iPad is now, a part of our lives. Knowing how to balance it is the hard work and one, we will must do. It is a new Day, a new way to do things, a new way to think. Throw in a bit of laughter, not a bad way to live...

women and crowns...

I have not been shy about my feelings about women. My first experience was a bad one and lasted until almost my 17th birthday. Little did I understand that it would be still affect me for many years and therapy would be needed to come to terms with it.

In my late 20's, with the advent of going to church, I began to be open to women-type things. Retreats, lunches and other church lady stuff. Never quite comfortable until at a women's retreat, one who would become a dear friend of mine, told me to gear down 10 years ( women who were 10 years younger than me). That advice has proved to be invaluable, through the years. Totally, changed my life.

Except for one, all my girlfriends have come through church. They have filled in the blanks I have missed over the years. Having to play catch up was not Something I saw coming but when you miss a whole chapter in your life, that is Something you have to remedy.

So here I am, barely into my 60's and finding that there are still lessons are, to be learned.

It is alright to be a girl.
It is alright to be a princess.
It is very good to be Queen, of your family.

To me, the lesson is clear. Not only are you the one to whom will defend and fight for your family, you are not one to be messed with. I always thought the crown sent a message of not being serious by it just may be the opposite and that is Something I certainly agree we. Mess with my family, and you will have me and the crown, to answer too. Enter at your own risk...

Smith Summer Olymipcs...

Spent yesterday at the most fun party! Aunt Bebe had us all join in in Carry A Pototo Between Your Legs And Drop It In The Bucket. There was also the Hula Hoop, two at a time so we could each show off your talent, or lack of. It was a wonderful day of family fun and the neighbors, two doors down, ending the night with a live band and there were some smooth moves going on in our yard.

It was such a joy to share this time with kids and Big Kids. Our world doesn't come by it naturally. Aunt Bebe loves her iPad as much as I do but she understands the idea of community, on a greater level. Even the dog, joined in on the fun and as usual, we are told, it will take her several days to recuperate from having the cousins over. but she wouldn't have it any other way.


Some by blood, some by marriage, we are family. We share the joys and the pain. There is laughter, galore. 280 photos later, one can relive the day. The smiles on the the kid's faces, the yummy food, the Stories sharing - Naked in the Northwest. What a day! Thank you, Aunt Bebe, we could not have had a better time!

First day of school...

After many hours of shopping and organizing and deciding what to wear, and two different first days of school, the week is almost done. Much going on and getting use to getting up early and getting back in to the swing of things, has taken most of the week. Good thing, there is an extra day of rest this week. Thank you, Labor Day!

You can feel the crispness of fall in the air. Heard this week that winter is suppose to be mild again this year. Last year was beyond mild. Little snow, the sun was shining most every day, unheard of. Very little snow, I can't believe that it could happen again.

Still, I will take each day as it comes, sunny or not.It means that Christmas will soon be on the shelves, making a little room for Halloween. It means my standard wardrobe for the last few months may have to be supplemented with a few long sleeved things and worst of all, a coat of some sorts will have to be worn.

This year will be different as the man will be home. What that will look like will have to wait, one step at a time. He has learned about Happy Hour, now the First Day of School and next, Christmas shopping. Last night was the first time I forgot, and as I thought about the opening of BSU football, I thought, he won't be home in time...then I stopped and remembered, Oh yes he will.

There will be many opportunities to capture Fall but it starts with the first day of school. The cheesy picture under the tree, here we go...

worth...

It is nonsense to believe that you must agree with someone to treat them with respect. Rick Warren.

We have all done it.

Every single one of us.

No exceptions.

We make instant judgements, every second of every day. It is part of the human experience. I have been guilty of it, my whole life, in one form or another. Sometimes I feel bad about it, sometimes, I don't. A mother who is cruel to her kids in public, you can only imagine what she is like at home. What those kids suffer in silence and not a thing I can do about it.

Easy statement to make, hard to do. Very hard to do. From one who sees the glass as half empty, there comes a whole set of instructions on what is right and wrong. A very strong set of instuctions that I must fight at most every turn. We all have our triggers tripped by different things. It is easier to control once you know your own personal ones, but they never go away. Never.

This goes beyond being polite, this had to do with character. This has to do with being bigger with your triggers, thoughts and ideas. This has to do with moving over into the passengers seat and letting Someone else drive the car. This has to do with giving something up, another thing that does not come naturally and takes a lifetime to learn.

Someone's worth is not up to me or you.
Their value is not ours to determine.
Our only job is treat them with respect, like it or not...

the future....

This is our future...

These guys are going to bring their own game and take over soon. They are running things now, whether you like it or not. Everybody is aiming at them. It is said that President Obama won the election in 2008 because of them and if they don't show up in 2012, it could cost him the election.

Their attention span does not look like ours. Not saying that is good or bad, they don't seem to hold on as tight as we do. There is much more fluid in their lives. The look of the workforce as we know it is changing before our very eyes. Again, not bad- just different.

Their fun looks different than I remember at this age. Our course, we didn't have smartphones and instant most everything. We were at the Food Truck Rally last weekend and a couple of these kids are very near and dear to my heart. Hanging with their friends, I knew I had to shoot them. Later, they asked me to take a photo of them on one of their iPhones. Nikon and Canon better watch out, these kids may document their entire lives on an iPhone. What worked/works for us, may have no value to them.

I am in awe of their laid back attitudes. Nothing much seems to rattle them, make them want to hurry along. I know each generation has its own quirks and points of interest but these guys may be game changers and I for one, will watch and learn. There is always something to learn, always...

the burning house...

If your house was burning, what would you take with you? It's a conflict between what's practical, valuable and sentimental. What you would take reflects your interests, background and priorities. Think of it as an interview condensed into one question.

Name: Zalaine Dille
Age:60
Location: Idaho
Occupation:a simple woman living a simple life
Website: www.everydayrandom.com

List:
4 Memory boxes for my daughter and grandchildren
external HD with all photos
My necklace collection
My digital scrapbooks

This website made me think what would be essential for me to take. AS you read through those who have given their lists, you might scratch your head and go, really? But think about it, as diverse as we all are, the things we cherish are anything but common.

If I had more than a few Moments to gather things, there would be another tier to the List. My iPad, my desktop and my red chair. Things that can all be replaced but why if you don't have to. Make a little pile in the neighbor's yard, forget that you were sleeping in your birthday suit THAT night and just get as much as you can. What would your list included?....

perfect...

Miss B is part of our extended family.
She is 8 years old.
She has been diagnosed with aplastic anema.

We are praying. For her, her parents, her brother. This is not how life is suppose to be. Children are suppose to be able to run and jump and play, not isolated in a hospital unable to have visitors and to feel awful and scream when anyone with a needle comes close.

We always feel so bad when we hear of someone's child being extremely ill. We also all say the same words to ourselves that we are not proud of, Thank God it isn't my child.

But sometime, it may be you and yours. Then the prayers take on a different meaning, a different urgency. We want to go back to the way things were, before. w ewe do get to sleep at night, we want it to all go away but when we open our eyes, there is it staring us down.

Normal takes on a whole new meaning. Everyone's world goes on, ours spins on a new axel. We are headed in a direction, we didn't ask for and didn't see coming.

Many prayers have gone up for this precious child. Those of desperate parents, of anxious grandparents, of loving family and friends. Some pray for a touch of instant cure, some for strength for parents who have spent countless hours in a hospital and some, to be thankful for the healthy families they have.

I think it is true that God doesn't give you everything you need, until you need it. This very Moment, I pray that Miss B gets everything that God has for her. I pray that her parents feel him hovering over them as they keep watch and I pray that for the rest of us, as we breathe in everything he is...

PSA...

This is a PSA for the experience of a colonoscopy.

Views expressed are strictly those of my experience, Your experience may differ from mine.

That being said, I never would have gotten a colonscopy, just because I should. Never have been fond of anything, just because I should. I am anti-everything, medical. Scared of needles, you name it, I don't like it.

I fought this for many years. The company DH husband worked for sent monthly reminders to go get one. What they didn't tell you was, they were not going to pay for it.

This time, I couldn't get around, tried as I may. Heard that the prep was the worst. That they made you drink gallons of slightly, thick liquid that might make you vomit and if it did, you would have to do it all over again. And, if you lived through the prep, which was highly unlikely, The procedure was painful.

Here is what I experienced. A 32 oz bottle of Gaterade with a bottle of Miralax which is complelely grit- free and tastless, one day and another, the next day. I can throw back a Route 44 Diet Coke without a second thought. The Prep on both days was a piece of cake.

Yes, what comes next is at best, a bit confining but it too, passes.

The day of the procedure, I was given a gown that covered everything and a warm blanket. Soon, my lovely nurse said she was giving me my happy juice...and then I remember waking up with DH by my side.

All those years of worry and fear, for nothing. The polyp can back benign and will have a followup in a couple of weeks. Found Diverticultis, which may have been giving me fits and will have to adjust my diet accordingly which means no more Route 44 Diet Cokes.

So here's the deal, we spend our lives worried about all sorts of things that never happen. Is there a better way? I hope so. I really, hope so...

young at heart...

As we get older, the things that make us laugh, are the same thing that made us laugh when we were 20. Humor is most certainly subjective. DH and I don't share the same humor, mostly. Last night, the back seat of the can which included him and two grandchildren, were crazy with laughter. They all had tears running down their faces and could not get the Story out that had put them in this laugh coma. It didn't extend to the middle and front seats and we were having a hard time understanding what was going on because none of them could stop long enough to tell us.

By this time, the Story almost didn't matter. The laughter that caught on in the middle and front seats was directly in response to theirs. When they finally got the Story out, it wasn't as funny to us as it was to them. They did collect themselves, eventually but those who were not part of the backseat, never caught up.

And, that is ok. It was almost like trying to share a private Moment that wasn't meant to include you. Must admit watching these two generations, in such sync, was aweseome. To be in that Moment was a wonderful Place to dwell for those Moments. The rest of us, even if we didn't get it, will never forget...

10...

Here's to being 10.
Here's to wanting to spend the day at the Mall.
Here's to a family dinner at Rockies where you were the star of the show.

but more than that...

Here's to your big heart.
Here's to doing the right thing when it isn't always easy.
Here's to grabbing your wallet to share.
Here's to making all of us, so proud
Here's to you, who makes us laugh.
Here's to the boy who askes all the questions.

Here's to you, Gage. We love you to infinity and beyond...love nana

7 days a week...

What do I do 7 days a week? Religiously, yet not religious. What in my life is important enough for me to do it, every day?

It is a great question and I imagine that for each of us, there would be more differences than similarities.

My short list would include my family, my faith and my gratitude. There is a part of me that insist that most things should not be done 7 days a weeks. I am anti 365, whether it comes to taking photos or exercise or even, ice cream or most anything else. IMHO, those types of external events need to be put in perspective and perspective to me, doesn't include them being done every day.

The everyday is sacred. Ask anyone who has lost someone in an instant. We only have the here and now. Sometimes we get distracted and think we more. More of this and more of that. Maybe what we really need more of, is less. Maybe we need to refocus our everyday. I am talking to myself here, and not sure where this is headed for me but I am most certainly, open...

411 vs 911...

Do you know the differences between 411 and 911 in your life?

Maybe it sounds silly but if you get these two mixed up, how does it affect your life?

I can tell you how if affects mine, it messes with mental well-being. It makes things seem important that aren't. It belittles the true tragedies of life. It gets me all mixed up and when I get mixed up and make choices with that mind set, they get mixed up too.

I walked myself through a stressful time last week, asking myself with each step, Is this a 411 or a 911? As I took each step, I realized that they were all 411 steps. I would have not seen that because when I looked at it as a whole, there appeared to be some very 911 Moments. Funny, how if you pace it out, the clearer it becomes.

Moments to learn and Moments to panic, seems like a 411 Moment to me. Think I will save the 911 for later...

faith over fear...

It occured to me this week that not like a fraction, faith has to be over fear.

When I look back on my life and it was fear over faith, it was utter chaos. Not just a sense of being a bit off but a sense that was riddled with being over thought, and downright dangerous.

Fear makes you throw out everything you know to be true and head like Alice, Down the rabbit hole. No more making sense, the journey takes one down a whole new, not so good path. There is a Time and place for fear, good fear but letting it lead, is never, ever the answer.

Faith isn't sticking your head in the sand. Faith tells you that no matter what, you are loved. No matter the outcome, someone was there. Faith reminds you there is more than one way to be healed. Faith says, look at it from this angle.

Never one to be good at fractions, I see a mental picture of faith on top and fear on the bottom. There are 365 mentions of Do Not Fear in the bible. Sometimes that is easy to remember, sometimes not. That is where living straight up with faith comes in. If you are upside down, if fear is driving - make a change. Do youself a favor and make that change...

food for thought...

To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.

It's time to wipe the slate clean.

I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.

In the midst of winter, I found there was witin me, an invincible summer.

Here's to the kids who memorize lyrics faster than vocabulary words.

Never lose your sense of wonder.

Fall seven time, stand up eight.

Take it day by day.

You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you, suddenly thrill you.

Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.

Sometimes, we just have to let things go.

We are crooked souls, trying to stay up straight.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

Breathe deeply and appreciate the Moment.

Let it go...

clothes...

Here we are again, school is starting here is less than 2 weeks. Still time for a little vacation and a week to practice getting up in the morning. The quest for school clothes has been going on for almost a month, not done yet but who wants to try on jeans in 100 degree weather?

I don't remember it being so hot starting school as a kid. Global warming or whatever you want to call it, it seems like the going back to school wardrobe only requires shorts and a tank top, bypassing what Sears and JC Penney would have you believe.

This year, uniforms have been added to the mix for one of the kids. Makes it easier to shop, I guess but isn't part of the fun of going back to school wearing that 1st day, special outfit that makes you feel very girly or very manly. Guess he will have to save that for a different occasion.

In the mornings, the heat is cooling down. No longer 90 degrees at 630am, fall is in the air. The days are still blistering hot and will be for a while, but change is in the air. There may be hope for those long pants yet...

so there...

Either you have been there, or you are experiencing it as a parent.

The attitude, the face that comes behind your back that you may or may not,see. The thing is we adults do the same thing but are way less guarded. At this age, somewhere deep inside, this seems like a cool thing to do and maybe it is, unless you get caught. Is it worth getting in trouble for? I would imagine that his answer would be yes. His Down The Road, is just beginning. Lots of things look like a good idea, even if you gave him a chance at a do-over.

As we mature, we learn what is approperiate and what will get us in trouble. If normal maturity prevails, we learn to curb those feelings and keep it inside. There are plenty of examples where maturity goes wrong and it never happens. Where people don't learn and grow. Their family suffers and your world suffers too. It's ok to disagree, or refuse to go with the standard norm. There is a right way and a wrong way but if you never learn that, for whatever reason, that so there mentality turns toxic.

This boy has the kindest heart I have ever seen. He shares his money, his time and always bows to keep peace but even the best kid has to live through the terrible teens. I can almost see him as an adult. This picture and a few more, will remind him of his wild and crazy days and I venture to guess, it will not be his shining Moment. That he will shrug it off and glad he has come through to the other side. We all have So There Moments and hopefully, they are fleeting no matter what Season of life, they come...

you and me...

The older I get, the more I understand that sharing with each other, is a delicate balance.

Oversharing as well as no sharing are not where we want to find ourselves. Both are telling, both show a lack of balance. TMI, too much information can wear a person out. Never sharing and holding on to everything by yourself, is equally damning.

I have been guilty of dipping a toe in each camp. The details don't maater but over the years, I swing wildly between the two and have not had as much balance as I wish I could confess to.

Do we know when we are out of balance?
Do we know when to share and when to shut up?
Is it possible to live in balance when it comes to sharing?

All I can tell you is that a few weeks ago, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was to share Something with someone. I had no intention of doing so but when the small, quiet voice is made loud, I knew it was the thing to do.

I also know when I have gone to far in the other direction. We need to share our joys, hurts and understand that people are not our personal problem-solvers. They are sharers of the Journey. They may have advice to offer and they may not. We don't share equally with everyone. Personal issues are held tight by those closest to us. Those who we have shared and have history with. I imagine we all have Stories about sharing going horribly wrong, where we imagine we will never share again. It is part of Life, accept it. This side of heaven, that is what this Journey looks like, is like.

We get a chance to do better every day.
We also know about 2 steps forward, and 3 back.
Do better than the day before...

you...

Sometimes, it is all about you.It may not come in the shape or form of your choice. Sometimes, you have no choice. It may not be pretty or flashy. It will be not of your own choosing but it will most definitely, be about you.

No answers and still lots of questions. Hope to get down to the heart of the problem soon. Until then, it is wait and hold on to what you know. That...

today is a gift.
no one is promised anything.
plan but be ready to be, derailed.

And in everything, give thanks. No matter what, you take your faith with you. You wear it like a blanket and let it comfort you. This isn't about whether you believe or not, it is about making the decision and standing by it, no matter what. I lived 26 years trying to do it all on my own, didn't work so well. Faith seems to fit me, just fine...

the male species...

Women are nowhere near prepared to know what men are thinking at any given time. Or doing. The way they react with each other, is no help. They stand together and can look at the sky, forever.

Every day, I appreciate the male species even more. Even if, I don't have a clue. It is even fun to watch them interact. Let them go and stand back and watch. They certainly don't act like women. They are slow and methodic. They bulid up to a pace, we women just dive in. That is why when we ask them what they talked about with So and So, they don't know. It isn't that they don't want to tell us, they may never have got there.

All of our friends are 10 years young so it makes DH, the old man. Not to be bothered by that, he keeps up with the best of him. A semi pro visitor, he can and does talk to anyone. He once talked to a street vendor for an hour, we thought it was a long lost friend...he had never met him, complete stranger.

I love my friend's husbands. One saved me the other night when I got a bit light headed. He found me a seat and went and got Stevie. Think I got a bit overhearted but the kindness shown to me couldn't have been more appreciated. Men, got to love them...

happy groom...

Without exception, everytime you get that photo that makes you smile, involutarily - it is pure giddyness.

A wedding comes with so many emotions. All the time, money, attention to detail, comes to an end. It is Crunch Time. Ready or not, here we go. With the ceremony first, everything you have worried about and practiced for, is over. There may be a few gliches but really, it just adds to the charm. As you participate by witnessing a new union, you are reminded of your own wedding. You remember standing in their shoes, hopes and dreams, firmly held in your hands. You are your most idealistic time of your life. Never will you think the Impossible isn't totally doable than this time of your life. It is a wonderful Place to be, for a while.

Then comes food, speeches and then the first dance. Then the dance with parents. Then the party really begins. Now it is time to get down and get funky. To celebrate what the day is really about. Can't imagine doing it any other way...

Criminal Minds, no more...

I use to watch those Nancy Grace shows. Not proud of it but, it's true.

There is never anything good, redeeming or uplifting. It is always the Worst crime of the day and all the terrible stuff that goes with it. That all goes into your mind for use, Down The Road. The news is scary, no doubt and I have never been one to sugarcoat our culture, always looking it straight in the face.

The theatre shooting in Colorado spooked me. Haven't been to a movie in long time and not sure when I will. Not even sure I want to rent the movie when it comes out on video. Just not sure.

My crime program of choice has always been Criminal Minds. DH likes NCIS and there is always the Mother of all Crime shows, Law and Order. I loved the way CM would take a horrific Story and the killer is always caught by the end of the show. I haven't watched a single episode since that Thursday night. I just can't go there, ever again.

I need to focus on cute boots.
I need to see the good that is around us.
I need to refocus

Dog days...

Not sure of the official start of the dog days of summer, but with the Back To School yearly push in full bloom, it is on the horizon.

There are still plenty of sno cone days left and we will take advantage of every one we can. Birthday Cake and coconut, who knew?

Having one eye on the 2012-2013 season, new teachers and a few other new things. It is all good, hopefully even better than good. Time will tell. As everyone moves up to the next grade, there is a Sense of a new thing. Teachers, expectations, and new ways.

Have always said, that the school year is my real, New Year. Fall renews me. Still buy new underwear every year at this time. It is a part of my DNA. Just bought a planner that starts on August 1. You guys can have Jan 1, as the start of your new year. It is usually cold and snowy, I like my fall NY, so much better. It is a beautiful time of the year that reminds me, of being renewed and that while winter is coming, it is not here yet. It is the Time of year where color abounds. The harvest is ready. The weather is still warm, the days long enough and most everything is right with the world.

But until then, the sno cone shack is still open for a few weeks. Still time for lazy days and just hanging out. Enjoy every moment of it...

Have you killed him yet?

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life and elevating them to an art. -William Morris

I have been asked this question more than once the last five weeks. And the answer is no.

There has been Something that I can only explain as a sweetness between us. Whether it is the recognition that this is the last stage of life and we will share it together, from here on, is the only explanation I can come up with. There is a mutual concern for each other that is stronger than the pre-retirement days. We are in this together until we are not. We hope for many years together, to enjoy our family and the life of the Everyday.

Don't get me wrong, we have had a few spats but the fire of those times seems to be gone. We understand that we are better together, then divided. We are learning a whole new way and the facial hair is growing. Our job is to grow too and finish strong. If you are grateful for the everyday, there is more than enough to keep you busy and that, keeps the kill factor - at bay...

young love...

There is nothing quite young Love.

To watch it, takes you back to when you thought you knew everything about Love. It takes many years to distinguish Real Love from Real Lust. When you are young, those two look like identical twins. With some perspective, you start to see they look, nothing alike. They are as diffeent as night and day.

It shouldn't be but Love is quite tricky. We don't seem to see it when it is staring us in the face yet, will jump through all sorts of hoops to grab what we percieve as Love even though it looks nothing like it. Maybe there are too many different kinds of Love for us to fathom. Try to explaining couple love, the love of a woman for her child and the Love of God. Similiar maybe, but hard to sort out when you have questions.

We are a simple people who complicate Love at every opportunity. We are either holding on too tight , or sharing it in ways that just aren't right. We give, hoping we will get back and that never turns out well. Love doesn't have to be big, we miss so much when we think it does. A little, good Love goes a long way and that kind of Love will make us better...