different strokes...

Less than 12 hours after leaving the Shakespeare Festival after seeing The 39 Steps with Keaton, we were on the sidelines of Gage's first football game. First play, went to Gage with a touchdown. Of course it did. This boy thinks of nothing else. Football is his life. With his dad as his team's coach, he is getting everything he needs, including learning how to be try different things even when you were made to play wide receiver. His dad is no slacker and wants his boy to be well rounded. He loves football, but understands there is more to life.

As for Keaton, he could not care less about football. His heart is with the arts, writing and now, he is in love with live theatre. Ready to buy season passes next year, hearing him laugh Friday night, was well worth the price of a ticket. The boys could not be any more different. Between everyone in the family, their individual interests are being encouraged and they could not be happier.

You wonder how 2 kids with the same parents could be so different. A wonderful book by Cynthia Tobias, The Way They Learn, is an fabulous resource for understanding how to help one understand how their different children learn and how to change the way you relate to them which in turn, helps them learn how to be the best people, they can be.

Learn not to pigeon-hole kids. Learn to go with their flow, whatever it looks like to them. To be or not to be....Run like the wind, Bulleye.

dear Keaton...

We had just finished celebrating your 2nd birthday. It was a Tuesday, Grandma's Sue Tuesday, to have you. I was home, Poppa had one of those early morning shifts. Hadn't been to bed all night so when he got home about, 7am. so we both headed to bed., exhausted.

The phone rang just before 9am. It is Auntie Mel, Turn your TV on, she says. I do. The rest is history.

I remember holding you closer the next day, mommy and daddy off to work, back to just you and me. I remember thinking how this might affect you, Down the Road. Here we are, 10 years later. You now, know the Story. While you were not affected directly the way so many were, there are things you now take for granted because they have always been a part of your life.

You will never know what it is like to wait for someone at the airport gate and wave a big welcome sign for them as they get off the plane.

911, takes on a new meaning.

It define a generation, and you will want to know eventually, what your definition will look like.

It doesn't seem like 10 years ago. For you or 911 but for each of us, that day changed us forever. I fear for the 911 of your generation. Just because of technology, it would have to make ours, look like child's play. I pray that it would pass you and yours by but I know better.

When you study other unimaginable events, keep in mind, man has always been capable of anything. Don't confuse evil with God. Someday, we can ask all the questions we want but for now, we need to understand that this side of heaven, there will no peace and we will have more events like these, God help us.

This commercial, done by Budweiser, was shown only once. In tribute, not as a commercial money maker. This, my wonderful boy, is what it is all about.

We talked a bit about 911 last night on the way to the Shakespeace performance. I asked it you were taught about 911 at school. You said not much, but you have read a lot on your own. We went on to discuss being taught evolution in school to which your response was, God's version is less complicated and makes more sense. I smiled.

A few weeks ago, we were sitting at your dining room table and for no apparent reason, you looked straight at me and said, Real Men love Jesus. You said you read it on a bumper sticker. Don't forget it son, it will help on days like today...love to infinity and beyond, nana.

motivations...

We make these movies to entertain ourselves and we hope that the rest of the world connects with them as much as we do. Pixar via Twitter.

I would really like to believe this to be true. Would love nothing more than to think that fame and fortune was second to creativity and art. To making others laugh, cry, or to inspire them. Have had multiple conversations about motivations this week, like parts of a puzzle - and it keeps coming back to a few basics.

For me, I am better when my motivations have no end value. Not because of money, or being hailed a hero. When it is about the art, the gesture, being kind for kind's sake. When there is no value except for just being, motivation is at its best. I would make a lousy salesman, no matter what the product. If you seeing me use said product, because there has been a relationship and there is value, that is one thing. When I am just hocking Something because I am trying to run up the assets of said product, the motivation has changed and so have I.

Doing a little rethinking which will hopefully led, to a change in the way I do life's business. Motivation is too strong an emotion to run around, unchecked. I think I have a pretty good handle of it, but need to make sure that in all areas of my life, no matter what the outcome - I can put my head on the pillow at night and know I did the right thing for the right reasons. If the motivations of our lives are running the show, we are living in some bad territory.

When life goes south, and it will...I want to be able to look in the mirror and know, I did the right thing. If I choose not to, well..that is a post for another day. My point is, you always have the choice...

school year 2011-2012...

The beach is behind us and school, is upon us. Hard to think about reading, writing and arithmetic... or as Keaton says, Math - not even once (based on a meth ad here. Guess you can tell, his least favorite subject!)when the weather is going to be in the 90's for the week.

This morning, we headed out at 7am to start Keaton's 7th grade experience. The school has decided to integrate jr high with high school. Pretty sure this is a bad choice but time will tell. A quick trip to the local coffee shop to wait for the Gage to present to 3rd grade and Miss M to start her first day of 1st grade, gave us some breathing room and a bit of sugar.

By 9am, everyone was settled into their new digs for the year. Tonight, we will be Facetiming to see how the day went. The first day is so exciting, day 2 - a bit less. Good thing it is a short week.

Fall is on its way... It is a wonderful time of the year. My personal calandar starts September 1 and I was well aware of it on the Oregon Coast. What a way to start the year! It is a new beginning for all of us. Everyone is in school, DH will be retiring. New year, new changes and it all starts today...

vacation...

8 of us - 3 grandparents, 2 parents, 3 kids.

1 GPS
1 iPod Nano
1 PSP
3 iPod Shuffles
3 DS
3 iPads
3 laptops
4 video players
5 phones
7 cameras
14 sets of earphones.
luggage, backpacks, purses.
2 cars, completely loaded.

When we stepped into the front room of our house on the beach,I felt it. A few nights later, I had time to feel it again. Going on vacation is more of a emotion than being in a particular place. Some times, vacations are not really, vacations. Disguised as family reunions with a lot of have to's, while these may happen away from home, they are not vacations.

Even doing dishes and a bit of cooking, this was a true vacation. We obviously had our electronics with us and need more. Note to self, 3 iPads are not enough. Even with everything we brought, the ocean called to us on a regular basis and we, responded in kind. We spent quality time together, and had to place to be at any particular time. We fell into bed each night, very little chit chat and were ready to go again, every morning. Vacation, true vacation, reminds you that while your Real Life is waiting back home - that for now, this is your Real Life and to live it fully. Run, dance, smell the air. We all did that and so much more...

wonder and amazement...

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. Steve Jobs

As I headed for the grocery side of Costco, went through the electronics isle and where the former HP tablet had been, after being put out to pasture in seven weeks, was the newest replacement, what ever it was. As I glanced over to take a better look, this 20 ish year old man, had one in his hand, contemplating making the purchase. It was still over $400 and I couldn't help myself...

You are going to be disappointed, just get the iPad...I know, he said.

Steve Jobs was asked how much marketing and consumer research he did in anticipation of his I line. He replied, None. His greatness is not in giving us what we want but what we didn't even know was possible. I couldn't have thought up the Nano, Shuffle or iPad if I had a million years. I knew that buy albums when I just wanted songs was a Big Deal but in all my years, never saw this product coming. I have shed tears while listening to my iDevices, I am not proud to say but only because I love them so.

Reminds me of the way that God works. We think we know best when in reality, we don't have a clue. If I only had this, if only I weighed this, or drove this or lived in this. That and please protect my family from all harm is about all we've got. He is about so much more than this and we would do ourselves a bit more justice to remember that.

Last night, Twitter was all ablaze with Steve Job's announcement. It was almost like, he had already, passed away. With his gaunt appearance in June, that is easily understood. Whatever time he has left, I hope he and his, spend every precious moment together. Mr Jobs, thank you for what you have taught us. May God bless you now. may your days be rich, filled with light and love...

Off to a little R&R with my kiddoes. Going to hit the beach, and have a blast. Have a great week, Labor Day and will see you September 7! Love zalaine.

outside...

Have to say I am not much of an outdoorsie person. When I get out, I love it but is takes quite a bit to make that happen.

There are things, however, that makes me deliriously happy and will even get to jump out of a moving car. Crop dusters - can't get enough of them. Now, those big outdoor farm sprinklers are my new love.

They are mammoth in size. Seem to go on forever. There is Something very romantic about misting water and a long line of sculpted, circular metal. Huge, usually in the middle of no where. Like they were dropped there by aliens. Have never seen a human moving them, or anywhere near them, for that matter.

I have taken photos of them in the dead of winter, but summer is my favorite. I can linger without suffering the elements and there is a smell of green that lingers for a while. When I first got into photography, it was all about people. Now, it is about sprinklers, crop dusters and people. There is a lesson in there Somewhere and can only imagine, that when I learn it - I will only use the power for good...

goals, the long and short of it...

There is a reason to have short and long term goals. They serve completely different purposes. Getting them mixed up could bring bad results.

For instance, losing weight. If one is working at weight loss as a short-term goal, you have a 95% change of failure. That is what the experts say, I would guess higher. Some things just demand being in for the long haul. Would you ever put marriage or parenthood in the short term World? Most of us would not, I know those who have and again, the results were disastrous.

Watched my first episode of Extreme Couponing on accident last week. Another branch in the family of addiction, that is why they call it extreme. Yes, you can save lots of money. Hoarding at Albertson. Getting your fix at the Piggly Wiggly. Addiction is addiction, no matter what color dress it wears. Yes, it is nice to have a month's supply of toilet paper, but to buy 73 bottles of mustard at one time to add to the 50 some you already have. When is enough, enough?

It is not a bad idea to list your goals and make sure they are in the right place. Make sure that having these goals are not only right for you but in their proper place so they can be given the attention needed to make them happen.

Do I have anything in the short term cart that needs to be put in the long term basket? As a matter of fact, I did. Made a course correction, and off I go. Will probably have to make more, guaranteed. Looking at the list in front of me today, I am good to go. If the phone rings and I have to go...I will be ready for that too. Always leave room for the unexpected...always.

2am...

I have never felt anything like this...

The minute he said that, I knew it was a kidney stone. He had never had one, I have.

When he finally decided that I may be right, we headed to the hospital. Good thing we only live a few miles away and a better thing that the ER was quiet. It is usually not. Saturday night is the big Party Night in any town, and ours is no different. The pace would pick up in a few hours but for now, he got his 2 hits of morphine and waited to be taken for a CT scan. Later, the scan would confirm what me, and the nurse already knew. A couple of kidney stones and a infection to boot.

In between all the tests, I amused myself listening to the staff talk about how quiet is was. Very unusual, they kept telling me. A bit later, the phone rang and it was the hospital down the road that had seen 8 assaults so far. They also had a guy who ran out of the ER gushing blood and told this ER, if he showed up, call 911.

Later on, a man came in who had 2nd degree burns when he got hit with hot oil. My ears perked up because DH sister company in our town, is the only place that he couldn't have come from. DH heard them and when his nurse came back, he ask his name. This man of mine has obviously never heard of HIPAA and she told him if she told him, she would have to kill him. Loved her.

By a little after 7AM, we had hit the all night pharmacy and were home. Still nauseated, he took all his pills and hit the sheets. I stayed up a while to reflect on the night. You never know what will happen, you never know where you might go. For most of life, you do not get a heads up. Wish it was so. New day, new experiences. Hopefully, today's fare will be a bit more fun...

nine...

It was nine years ago today, that this Little Man made his way into our lives. He had a hard time getting here. It was a rough month. His grandmother died few weeks before he arrived and his great-grandmother would suffer a tragic stroke, that would change her life forever. Still, he persevered and now, we know why.

We have had nine years to get to know him and who he is. He is too smart for his own good, and we are learning how to channel all this energy and smarts into something, hopefully that will be of use to him Someday.

He is polite, loving, specific, and self-confident. He loves football, rock and roll, shrimp, and talking. Spend some time with him and you will start questioning most things you believe. He can ask questions for hours. Good questions, questions that matter. He believes in Jesus and has his on take on religion. Not too much he doesn't have an opinion on. He can convince you the sky is yellow.

Knowing him has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. Praying for him is a hoot. He talks fast and long, keeps me on my toes.

Happy Birthday Gage, I can't wait to see what you capture on your camera. To see the world through your lens is going to be a blast, I can't wait. Love you buddy...

one on one...

I drive my family crazy, asking questions.

What is your favorite movie?
What's your favorite food on vacation?
What makes you happy?

So, this morning I thought. This time, it is your turn. The cool part is I get to ask the questions I want and the other half of my brain has to come up with an answer. Here we go...

When you hear the word hero, what comes to mind?
I think we have heroic Moments. I could probably think of those Moments in a lot of people I know but to label someone a hero, just doesn't make sense to me.

You have got a spare 10 mins, what would you do? I love praying for people I will never meet. I love, love praying for Keaton, Gage and Morgan's grandchildren. I imagine them as adults and it just puts a smile on my face. Think about their strengths and what wonderful role models they will be. One of my favorite things to do.

Dark Moment, what does it look like? The realization that comes over me every once in a while that life is fleeting and I will not get to see all I want to see. It doesn't last long, but it is reoccurring.


Someday, your family will look back at your blogging, Facebook and Twitter profiles. What do you hope they will see? I hope they will see that I wasn't afraid to ask the big questions, and would try to be as open as I can be. Don't worry much about them seeing the flaws, they don't let me get by with a thing now.

What scares you? The same thing that makes me happy - sarcasm.

Glass half full or empty? Today, half full.

Best blood pressure lowering advice - earphones blasting, music everywhere.

What question would you beg, not to be asked? The one that would make me cry.

Working inside your comfort zone, crowd or one on one? Always and forever, one on one.

80/20 rule...

It wasn't until we were part of planting a church that the 80/20 rule came into my sphere of being. 20% of the people do 80% of the work. The same formula is also true for the financial giving of a church. That was the first time I had ever heard of the80/20 rule. That is what I thought until today.

Apartment Therapy had a designer on talking about color, your home and the 80/20 rule. He said your home should be 80% neutral with 20% color to make it pop. It immediately resonated with me that I have been doing this for years in my own home. When I have ventured over the 20% color line, it has been disastrous. Many years ago, we weren't even finished putting WallpaperIHadToHave in the kitchen, and I knew, it was coming down. And it did, in a few days. Too much, made me crazy.

Now days, I have 8 rooms and 2 hall ways in my 1200 ft home. Living room, kitchen and eating area are basically one room and along with the 2 small hallways, all have color on the walls. The other 5 rooms are Polar Bear white. It makes me so happy. The color will change again but not the configuration. I have dabbled with the idea of painting closets and the pantry, some wild colors, Intrigued by the idea, now that I see the 80/20 in the house, maybe not.

Imagine if one did some digging, there would probably be more areas of 80/20 in our lives than we imagined. What about the Story of the Little Red Hen?

Once upon a time there was a little red hen. She lived with a pig, a duck and a cat.

She asked each on for help around the house and yard. Each had the same answer,

I will not

But when it was time to reap the benefits of all the hard work, they each had the same answer.

I will

What we forget is that the Little Red Hen said, Ok, all for me. We don't do that today. Mostly the 80/20 rule is as big as ever. Sometimes it feels, so natural and sometimes, it seems so unfair...

unexpected...

My heart aches so bad I can barely breathe. My cousin, basically my brother, died in the line of duty as a Dallas firefighter tonight. Bart Millard/Mercy Me.

Two completely different situations, yet related by the nature of being unexpected. Even the act of seeing this photo when I was checking on the news, took me back. The police had taken the Norway shooter back to the island to have him recreate, step by step, each shot he took that would leave 69 people dead.

Unexpected can be a good thing, not as often and when it is good, we have to do a quick emotional u-turn. The couple that won over 200 million dollars in the lottery last week, had just sought financial counseling and the results were not good. In a second, their whole life changed forever.

We have all experienced the unexpected, in some way. Some in little ways and some in mighty big ways. Most of the time, I imagine you would be hard pressed to remember the first few Moments. Like Bart, he said it for all of us. A later Tweet would sound less emotional, the acceptance phase had began.

The knock at the door, the path report from the Doctor, the late night phone call. None of which you can practice for. Think the only thing that is fluid is how long you stay in those first few Moments. Some people stay there forever, never learning to live with the new normal. I hope we are stronger than we think. For me, I am counting on it...

learning by history...

If you do Something enough times, a history starts to form. You start to make decisions based on that history. There may some variation but history tells us there is a baseline that sets up the learning truth.

Have made many decision, positive and negative based on history. Things I will and won't do. Once you know what is, you can decide how to respond. Even if it is not a good thing, having all the knowledge up front gives you the chance to decide if you are willing to take a risk or not.

Because of history, I have made decisions about family that have not been easy to make. Family may be the toughest because saying no, always, always brings repercussions and you have to decide if you are ready and willing to take on that kind of drama. I have learned to say no because of family history and there has been fallout but in not one of these situations, would I have done it any differently, given a another chance.

I love the fact that tomorrow is another day, that life may be a bit sweeter tomorrow and that I can lay my head on the pillow, knowing I made the best choice I could have made with the information I had. There is a Time and Place for warm fuzzies, and Sometimes with family, they are few and far inbetween...

cheating...

If you say you have never cheated, I will call you a liar to your face. If have all cheated at something, sometime in our life. On purpose, we knew that we were doing was wrong and did it anyway.

There, I said it. It is out and now, we can begin to deal with cheating. It is our nature to cheat. It is not in our nature to take the high road, every time.

I have cheated at those Are You A of Do You Have, insert problem area here, in Reader's Digest. I have constantly cheated at assorted tasks in my life. As early as 5th grade, I cheated in math for the whole year. Because the prize was chocolate cake made by the math teacher. I don't remember his name but he was a large man who loved to cook and if you were the best in the class, the most wonderful chocolate cake you could ever imagine in 5th grade was your and I made sure, it would be mine. I remember being found out but it must not have been traumatic because I don't remember the details so no traumatic memory was made.

Cheating/per Wikipedia
1.An act of deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition.

We do it all the time. We hide it all the time. Face it, admit it and learn to do better. That is best we can hope for, this side of heaven...

fixed...

This side of heaven, some things will never change. No legislation or ordinance can make it so. Just like the sun rising and setting, you can set your watch by these truths.

Imagine if we compare our lists, there would be a some variety. There may ever be fireworks of disagreements as we go back and forth. Could we all agree that this side of heaven, prostitution is here to stay?

Could we further agree that true peace among man and nations is unrealistic? The reason I bring this up is, it seems if we can take some things off our proverbial plate to discuss, argue and worry about and concentrate on the things we can change, life would be better. It doesn't mean we condone these things but that we are honest about their place in our world.

If I had three magic wishes, or was in the running for Miss America - dreaming of world peace would never be on of them. There are things we need to accept, acknowledge and learn to live with. It is part of growing up. People will always take unwanted kittens for a drive out in the country, no matter what...

slow...

I always in a hurry. I eat fast, walk fast, think fast. We all go at an unusually fast pace thinking it is not that fast and that everyone is doing it. The line that defined a normal pace, has been changed and with it, our view and actions that follow.

Every once in a while we are jolted back to reality. We clearly see what is right before our very eyes. We are able to slow down, look around and see what we have been missing. It is not always fun and uplifting. Sometimes, many times, we are agitated by being made to stop at the pace we were at. The truth is, we need more to these times and if we are completely honest, we need to make them happen ourselves, not wait for a life experience to get our attention.

I wish everyone could have a Gigi in their lives. We all hover over her, making sure she is drinking her cherry Coke, keeping her cool and walking her to the car. She no longer knows any other pace and we are learning her way. We are lucky to have her...

student...

I see myself as a progressive student. For one who never cared for formal education, I find myself ready, willing and able to learn. Even with my life calendar in front of me, the idea of getting another chance everyday to learn Something gives me a new appreciation for what learning can be.

Right now, I am getting my PHD in life and using Ted talks as my source of education. Not constained by the title of a certain educational environment, Ted is taking me places I could never imagine and doing it 18 minutes at a time.

I have learned more than I ever did in college. Maybe it my age and the understanding of the value of being more fluid, more open. This is an ongoing education with no end. It will end the day I do.

If you do not see yourself as a student, you will start putting yourself up on a pedestal and that, will get you nowhere or in big Trouble. We all take turns being the student and teacher in situations in Real Life but the mentality of always learning, keep your ego in check - should be in the forefront.

It is a form of gratitude. Acknowledging that one does not know it all, that everyday we get a chance to do better, because we know more. It is a submissive stance, a mindset, a way of life. Can imagine it any other way...

compromise...

Do you find it odd that a word that means to give up Something you believe in for the greater good, contains the word, promise?

Does that mean you can put aside having it 100% your way and promise not to yell foul, later?

When you and Compromising cross paths, what does it look like? How does one decide when to compromise and when to hold your ground?

We do it a hundred times a day. With parents, husbands, children, family, jobs and community. Sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes, not. What does good and bad compromise look like and what are the consequences of either choice.

The first part is to figure out if a compromise is warranted. Compromising on something that should not be on the table, can bring difficult consequences. Likewise, being unwavering on something that should be considered bringsequally bad results. Be a student and learn to tell the difference. It will always be an ongoing project but you will get better and better at it.

Next, when you start the negotiating of said compromise, give away the chocolate, not the cream corn. Ever asked to bring food from your pantry for a special function and you start digging in the back of the can shelf for that cream corn that no one will eat. Grab the chocolate, compromise should be about value and the giving up the good stuff.

Third, stand by your promise. Meet in the middle and stay there. Don't waver or do takesie backsies. Stand by your word. You may even learn Something, imagine that...

chemistry...

Spent more than half my life avoiding anything to do with chemistry thinking it was all about beakers and lab coats and while that is still my thinking, I am now all about the other kind of chemistry. The kind that has to do with us humans.

Heard Emma Stone/The Help talk about having to take a chemistry test with a fellow actor to make sure they clicked before starting a movie. Didn't know they did that sort of thing but it makes perfect sense.

Just like speed dating. You can tell in very little time if you are compatible with someone whether it be romantically, friendship or even in a job interview. There is a certain chemistry that attracts us to each other, nothing you could ever put your finger on but as real as real can be.


Years ago I asked about five guys who didn’t know each other to meet me for breakfast. I hand chose these guys. Each of them were intelligent, driven, successful and emotionally stable. We got together early one morning and I introduced them to each other. Then I did something very strange. I told them we all needed to be friends. I told them the world was in need of good leaders, and good leaders only become good leaders if they affect each other. As odd as it was, that group continued to meet for two years, and now we are all deeply imbedded in each others lives.Donald Miller.

I can't imagine anything sweeter than putting together women I know that I think, would love each other. I have thought about this many times, and if location was not a hindrance - would have gone there by now. Have had discussions about women and mentoring but you have to consider the chemistry factor and if it isn't there, it isn't there. I have been on both ends of the chemistry debate. I have learned to trust it and move on. We can't like everybody and everyone won't like us. You can like someone in an instant and try for years to make something happen that just isn't there. Trust it and move on. There are bigger fish to fry...

comments...

Read the preview of the September book club pick and then proceeded to read about 40 customer comments of those who have read the book. It confirmed my thought that I am going no further and will not finish the book. This has happened before, not a prude but Sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do.

Amazon, Apple, I have learned that reading the collective comments of others has saved me more than once. Whether toward or away from a product, comments can be a serious way to help one choose. Of course, you can't go by one review but when most of the reviewers love or hate a product and tell you why, that gives you a sense of where it fits into your scheme of things.

Total strangers. I don't know them from Adam. Don't know anything about them. Thier political leans, or emotional state. How they feel about the color red or mexican food. Some obviously are biased, those you throw out. There is always one doubting Thomas and always, always one that wouldn't like it, no matter what.

They are all telling it as they see it. How did it work, taste, feel. It is an individual call and you have to take that into account. I am thankful for those you give reviews. I have written a few but only when I love something.


Thank you to all who do reviews. From cameras, to coconut water to apps. You guys rock, all except those of you who loved Lovely Bones...

guacamole...

Part of learning to live in the Moment means you understand that there a Time for everything. You understand that sno cone shacks are not open in winter, no explanation needed. You know that school supplies are dirt cheap in August and not in February. You don't get upset about everything that fits in the Time for Everything folder but you get it.

Some people never get this. Whether they are even aware of living in the Moment or not, they always expect that with enough complaining and loud yelling, whatever they want will magically appear. I come from a long line of these kind of people, I know them well.

The lady was next to me in the produce section, by the onions, tomatoes and avocados. She was obviously in a huff and I tried using my charm to calm her down. The avocados were all light green and hard, they way they always are. I have learned that if I don't want the nasty green stuff in the plastic container, I am going to have to plan ahead. Two days is about perfect. Not knowing if she was from around here, I told they were always sold in this store, this way. She answered angrily, I know THAT but I need them today. My charm would not be of much use today. She knew how it was and expected a different outcome.

One who knows about guacamole, know about life. It has taking many years, but I finally get it. Another piece of the Big Puzzle of Life. Thank you...

signs...

Even with GPS and ongoing technology, we look for signs everywhere we go. Signs are everywhere. Most of us have some kind of decorative signs in our homes. If you have ever left yourself a yellow post-it note, there's your sign. Life may update and want us to Like it but signs will be around forever.

Sometimes they come, as a little whisper in one's ear. Not married to the physical, those quiet times when you aren't sure you heard what you thought you did. If it is a true sign, it will come back and try again. If you are open, you will sense it and try to figure out what is going on and what it means.

Had one of those today and not sure where it is all going. This tweet from Donald Miller, runs along these same lines.

God changes our path over and over to keep us from trusting in formulas.

Don't know what it means but imagine time will tell. It usually does...

creature of habit...

I am a creature of habit, a student of the same. Little changes throw me off and make me realign. Not crazy about little change.

The UHaul truck in front of the neighbor's house is not a good sign. Someone/s are moving on and another is being left behind. Whether a permanent move or not, will have to wait and see. For now, it makes me sad, imagine how they feel. It is a big change for them, a little one for me.

Not to see a certain someone and their work on your favorite digi site, also brings unwanted change. I will miss her presence, it will not be the same. It is a little change for me, a big one for her.

A strange weekend, filled with things I have no control over. We always worry about the Big Changes when maybe, just maybe the little ones might give us some insight in how to handle them all. That is my prayer, and with blessings for all those who are dealing with the Big Changes...

boys and girls...

It is always this way with our family. The boys stand and the girls, sit. Sports, birthday parties, and anytime at a park function.

Not sure if this is every one's experience but imagine that we can all agree that boys and girls are different. With school starting right around the corner, the shopping of clothes is hot and heavy in our neck of the woods. A late vacation is pressing the issue even more.

Miss M has her ideas about what one wears in first grade and has a closet to prove it. The boys have their own ideas too but only interested in shirts and pants. They have little interest in spend hours at The Children's Place are extremely thankful that there is a Best Buy, next door.

Keaton spent last week at a writing camp. Everyday last week, his team would head Downtown, exploring everything from a haunted building, the Basque museum and the local coffee shop. We were invited to an outdoor reading of each writer's choice on Friday in 102 degree heat. We were in the shade, the writers in the sun. The girls wrote of their mothers and how they shaped and uplifted their lives .2 of the girls read poems of quiet desperation, truly. The boys, not so much. Keaton wrote about Mars and how we would probably want to stay on earth. It was funny and though provoking. He wrote a delightful piece on Tully's coffee shop which was equally inspiring. They all learned about 6 word Stories, metaphors and similies and I dare say, their lives have been changed whether they be a girl or boy.

Although the changes have come steadily, this is the time they are becoming aware of each other. Boys and girls start to see Something Different and stat to have different feelings. We all travel this Road and this is wear we start to learn to appreciate each other and the ways we are not the same. Learn it now, boys and girls. It will go a long ways to helping you understand life. Best of luck to both camps!

working...

Mom and dad don't believe me but I think working for your money is the best.Gage.

I think I believe him. This is the child that lives in a wonderful world of his own where facts aren't needed if he has even heard of a subject.

This is his first lawn mowing by himself gig. Not yet allowed to use the mower with an engine, when poppa and I found this almost brand new push mower, Gage is who we thought of first. The lady selling it bought it for exercise but said it was too hard. We, on the other hand, are having a ball.

Gage had to work for his money, really work. The idea is for him to cover some ground and big brother will come behind with the big finish. Think this is going to work out nicely. Keaton has certainly learned more about the value of a dollar and now has 3 yards to mow each week. Gage has had a hard time finding Something he could earn money at. I have been asked by Miss M and Gage, not to clean my house...except maybe for the bathrooms so they could have a chance to earn some money too. Now, I have to find something for Miss M.

Yesterday Gage says, Thanks for the five dollar bill, it is working out nicely. Not sure what that means. He may be considering trying to buy Oregon because he likes the smell or any other ordinary idea that pops in his head, For now, the mower is his way to financial well being and for me and the summer of 2011, that is good enough for us...

self inflicted...

A 63-year-old California man was recovering in the hospital on Tuesday after trying to fix a hernia in his stomach with a six-inch butter knife, police said.

The man's wife called police to say her husband was sick and tired of waiting to get surgery for his rupture and decided to take matters into his own hands on Sunday evening, Glendale Police Sgt. Tom Lorenz told msnbc.com.

When officers arrived at the couple's apartment, they discovered the man, naked and sprawled out on a lawnchair, with a butter knife protruding from his abdomen, Lorenz said. The man was cooperative and even pulled out the knife when asked, he said.

"As an officer, we are told that no call will be the same and to always expect the worst — from the dumbest thing in the world to carnage," said Lorenz, adding. "This falls somewhere in between."/MSNBC


This would have seemed weirder to me a few years ago but about to enter the world of the uninsured, has me seeing this form a different perspective. Crazy, maybe. A steak knife would have made more sense, a butter knife will only slow down the process. That is the thing that seems crazy, and the loudest.

Got word this afternoon that a world Olympian from our area took his own life Monday night. Had not heard much from him but a DUI Friday night, put in him back in the spotlight, for all the wrong reasons. We will never know why someone takes their own life. Even a note doesn't tell the whole Story. I experienced four funerals in a row where the deceased had taken their own life, it is just Something we won't understand this side of heaven.

There are many ways to self inflict ourselves. Imagine most if them would be seen as a negative but there is no reason we can't own the good things we do to ourselves. It is just that those never make the news. Seeing life in a positive way and attaching yourself to that will most likely never be seen by anyone by ourselves. Go ahead and do some good self inflicting, whether anyone is watching or not... Just for us.

choices...

Very conscious choice Z. was my good friend's reply to my FB posting of living in the Moment. She does it as perfectly as any human I have ever met. As the weekend unfolded, the death of Amy Winehouse and the terrible shooting in Norway, became a part of our Moment, like it or not.

Someone said today that Amy Winehouse was known as much for her addiction as her music. She has joined the 27 Club, whose members included Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Brian Jones and Jim Hendrix. I did not know her music and when I heard the news, I had the same thought as Amy's mother, it was just a matter of time.

76 people gunned down in cold blood. Acting as a policeman, encouraging people to come out where they would be safe and then, shooting them one after another. A choice was made and then carried out. This didn't happen in a blink of an eye. This is not the work of a insane man.

We are only as good as our last choice... I wrote this many years ago and can't remember exactly in what context but today, it reminds me that, just as Miss L so eloquently stated, when we choose - it is a conscious choice.

Could either of these people been stopped from doing what they did? No
Is this always the outcome? No
Do we really always have a choice? The real truth is, yes.

Snapped this couple a few weeks ago, talking with the homeless man at the Mall. Imagined they were trying to help him and it warmed the cockles of my little heart. Imagine my surprise when this weekend, the same couple were sharing the corner with him, signs and all.

We would like to think that we don't. We would like to think that when this stuff happens, they had no choice. That is how we can wrap our head around it, how we explain it to ourselves because we are not able to understand with our heads or hearts how some of these choices are made and maybe, closer to home - are we next? We are only as good as our last concious choice, make it count...

For Annie...

Loved talking to you tonight. We have had a wild and crazy life, haven't we?

Here are some recent photos of the fam. If you need a distraction in your life, the internet is definitely the way to go, ask Terri! XO me

RIP Borders...

Didn't plan it but found myself at Borders on the first day of their Going Out of Business sale. Needed a journal, and were close to the mall so we followed the crowd into the mall. The coffee shop was already closed and with the yellow GOB signs everywhere, it was obvious that this was really going to happen.

Unlike newspapers, seeing a bookstore close makes me sad. I understand that the world is moving toward ebooks but in my heart of hearts, expected paper books to be around for a long time. They say that Borders didn't get on the ereader bandwagon fast enough. Amazon, Barnes an dNoble saw the handwriting on the wall and moved quickly, Borders did not.

As we headed for the journal section, the graffiti on the shelves was up front and personal. Scribbled on every square piece of metal shelving that didn't have a book, it looked like every high school yearbook I have ever seen. Could have understood it if it had to do with the loss of reading or the love of books but this was names, phone numbers and non-sensical words.

Borders, we will miss you. Hope all your employees find new employment soon. RIP.

privilege...

Women have to look beyond the concept that beauty is only skin deep. Our society has become obsessed with beauty and youth. I work hard to empower my clients to remember that aging is a privilege and the natural course of events, we are stronger and more dynamic with the life we have led at 40 than we were at 20 and there is immense beauty in that/ Molly Stern.

I marveled at these words by a celebrity make up artist. Aging is a privilege. Read it again, aging is a privilege. Have you ever thought of it that way? I hadn't and as with many other privileges, fall short of recognizing them.

Privilege
A peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor; a right or immunity not enjoyed by others or by all; special enjoyment of a good, or exemption from an evil or burden; a prerogative; advantage; franchise; preferential treatment

That means aging is a gift. Not given to all, not enjoyed by others or all. When you think of it in those terms, whining about getting old seems pretty petty. This summer I have purposefully started my day with gratitude for a chance at another day. It has changed my attitude in ways I never could have imagined.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

None of know who or why.
None of us have tomorrow in our back pockets.
None of us have more than right now.

I have been whining about my 60th birthday. I have not been thankful for hopefully, reaching this milestone. This stops now. From this day forward, every day will be considered a privilege and will be treated as such. Funny how a few words can change your life, thank you...

relax...

One of the important things in life is knowing, how to relax. I know it is popular to fill every waking Moment with some kind of activity but if the true is told - that is not the way you want to go, unless it is for a very short run, no matter what your circumstances.

I think relax is seen as lazy. Maybe relax should not be a noun but a verb. Whatever you want to call it, the idea of slowing down, and taking time for oneself's may go against the current and it may be one that you have to stand firm and just make it happen.

Went to see the Decembrists last night with my girl. Five hours of watching people and listening to fab music. The young woman dressed in the Spiderman costume was a bonus. The dancing geriatric crowd, showed up in force. You could justify Doing Something instead of sitting in a lawn chair out in the sun with speakers blaring but not sure that is where the greatest benefit lies.

Sometimes Doing Nothing is really doing something, in disguise. Don't be fooled, knowing the difference can make all the difference...

men...

Last Friday, I stopped at Paul's to get some donuts before going yard saling. It was still early and the store was filled with men. They were lined up to get donuts but when I went to check out, there were five of them in front of me. With only one checkout person, there was nothing to do but wait.

I have this theory about men and standing in line behind them. It is not positive. As I stood there wishing that Someone should grab a mike and call for back up which the lone lady cashier never did do, I hoped my iconic notion was archaic. In that split second, I imagined that men had evolved over the years and that my theory would go right out the front door. As I continued to stand there, it was harder to be chipper and upbeat.

I should also tell you that each man only had one item. The first man didn't even get his walled out of his back pocket until the nice cashier lady gave him is lone item in a small plastic bag. EVERYONE KNOWS you get your wallet out way sooner. There is check out etiquette but somehow, this guy had never got the memo. My eyes are starting to roll back in my head, hope it is not too obvious. Man 2 and 3 take equally as long but that is because they are chatting it up with the pretty lady. I don't even remember Man 4 and 5. I had completely checked out by then to save what daily sanity I had left.

As I relayed this Story to the nice, older salesperson at JC Penney's today, she wholeheartedly agreed. She said men can't multi task. I told her I would be happy with just a single task. She thanked me for the conversation, said it made her day.

Men, we love ya but you are killing us. A slow, painful death. Swell plan but we are catching on and it has already been proved that we are better in the long haul. Good luck!

hip, insta and all the other matics...

And as I import our pictures, from both Travis and me, I notice the percentage shifting each month. More and more iPhone photos, fewer and fewer images taken with the DSLR.

And yet I wonder: Will we one day regret this? Will I look back at this time in my life and wish I had more pictures that showed the scenes from my life realistically, rather than transformed into some ethereal, filtered version of my life? Will we all collectively look back at this trend the way we now look at the days of cutting photos into stars, hearts, and other cutesy, outdated shapes in scrapbooking?

Trends scare me. Because they depart as quickly as they arrived, and if you embrace the wrong one too strongly, you end up looking foolish. Angie Lucas.

Angie blogged what I have been thinking for some time. Years from now, will a photobook filled with unfocused, over filtered, sometime unrecognizable photos - seem like a great idea?

While the matics I take are solely on my iPad, I have saved none. I have saved many photos after using some of my favorite photo apps. There are some killers out there and more coming, everyday. Loving the photobooth ones and with a quick edit, you can get some nice saves. She goes on to say,

I tend to value the real. The authentic.

I hear ya Girl.
I want every photo to have the best shot at being loved.
I want every photo to tell an easy to understand, Story.

It is same for Real Life. You have to decided - you can't do everything. I imagine that TMobile ever starts carrying the iPhone, I will load it with the matics but you can be sure, there will always, always be a G-Something in my purse. Compromise is in the eye of the beholder...

paying attention...

So... I am in the return line at Costco and this nice CS 30 ish woman starts doing the paperwork and Something about the receipt made her remark to me, You are very lucky. You should buy a lottery ticket. I smiled like we all do. I have never bought a lottery ticket, ever. Something about losing a lot of money in high school when going to the race track with uncle who assured me, it was a done deal.

She finished the return and for a second time, told me to buy a lottery ticket today. And then she stopped, looked right at me and said, buy it from a gas station off the freeway. She said she didn't know why she she gave me those precise instructions. I knew at that Moment, for whatever reason, I would be buying my first lottery ticket ever, in a few minutes. We got on the freeway and got off at the first exit because there was a gas station, right there. Went in, asked how much a ticket costs - $1, I was told. Grabbed some drinks and off we went, about the rest of our day.

The ticket is on my bulletin board now. Must say, it made for some great conversations this afternoon. DH and I were on the same page on some things. Give the house away to someone, trusts for the gk and a nice cash payment for the ladies at Costco and Jackson's.

I don't expect to win the lottery, whenever they pick the numbers. I expect that this was just practice to see if I was paying attention. While winning anything would be fabulous, the idea of paying attention means as much if not more. The more one practices living in the Moment, the more one is aware. Paying attention may be the best gift you can give yourself. Buying your lottery ticket at 59 3/4 is an adventure I wouldn't have missed for the world!

teaching...

As we were yard saling last Friday, a Story unfolded from the kids. As told from the backseat, they shared the account, not realizing the extent of what they had done. A teaching Moment from a 12, 8 and 6 year old. A lesson that could be taught by anyone but they owned it and took the responsibility. We each have these Moments. Hopefully on some level, we do what they did.

Their daddy has been friends with A since they were in second grade. Whenever there is a kids birthday to celebrate, they are there for each other. Our three and their two. A boy who is 2 weeks younger than Keaton and a girl a few months older than Gage. Somehow the subject of saying I love you and hugging and kissing your siblings came up within the Circle of 5 and our three were flabbergasted that this brother and sister team had never hugged, or gave kisses or said I love you. they proceeded to show them how and then when the boy was still not on the same page, held him down so his sister could try her new-found Love.

Realizing that some people are just more affectionate than others, the truth is if showing Love comes difficult to you - you have some learning to do. It doesn't mean you just aren't and therefore, don't - it means you may have to work doubly hard to get the same result. Just like the kid to whom math is an easy A and the one who struggles to make a C. My eyes teared up as I listened to them tell the Story from their point of view. Gage is probably the least affectionate of the three but still gave his sister a hug and kiss last night before she headed home with us for a sleepover.

Never underestimate the power of a hug, kiss or attaboy. Jesus said a little child will lead them. I believe that power is alive and well, I would stake my life on it...

Crossroads...

In Career World, crossroads don't happen very often. Should I go to college? Which one? Should I quit this job? Where should I apply...

In Project World, on the other hand, every day offers a choice that could change things. Should you start a new project? Organize a conference? Open a new channel of social media? Quit something you're doing right now to make time for something else?

It's easy to get stressed and excited about the infrequent crossroads. It's just as easy to ignore the daily opportunities you have to change everything. Seth Godin

In my World, I think the daily opportunities are not as easy to ignore. Ok, maybe those days of Headaches or Heartaches - when it takes everything you have to just keep going but mostly, I'm all about the Daily.

I remember Career World. I was very good in it. I was a Pain to those around me and to those I reported to, a dream come true. A bulldog that did not let a penny go unless it had been accounted for. I dare to say that most of my working days, I could have been Employee of the Month, every day. Not bragging but the feedback I have gotten after a 25 year career.

Did I love working? 99.9% of the time, no.
Was I aware of anything but the job? 99.9% of the time, no.
When the Crossroads came, was I aware? 99.9% of the time, no.

Project World has been a whole new experience. Besides learning to live in the Moment, which I believe we learn everyday our lives, I have found a creative side I never knew and would argue vehemently even existing. There are more Crossroads than I ever imagined but if I don't see them, they go unnoticed and poof, they are gone.

When the Crossroads came, was I aware? 99.9% of the time, no. What bothers me is what did I miss? How would my life look now if I had been aware? The true is it doesn't matter. The truth is today is what I have and the Crossroads I have to deal with are here and now. The question is, whether for you or me, what are we going to do about them?...

fracture...

I come from a crazy family. There are cousins, multiple aunts and a family that just doesn't know each other. From what I so know, most of the cousins had a lifestyle similar to mine so survival was about all they could handle. There was one cousin, my uncles first wife who I remember spending a lot of time with. It is where someone pointed out Frank Sinatra, sitting a the bar in the family restaurant in Palm Springs but I had no interest as we were on the way to the kitchen to pick our dinner for that night.

Facebook. In the last six months, I have searched for a few cousins. Have found a few but after much though, decided not to go down that rabbit roll. Influenced by their FB page, ok, scared by their page. Sometimes is it time to just move on.

Last night, my first cousin came to mind. She has an unusual first and middle name but FB found her in a nano second. As I looked at her photos, saw how happy she was and the lack of our family name, I did not send a friend request. I couldn't. Her mother is still alive and she was a fabulous aunt, I would have like to let her know that I appreciated everything she did for my sister and me but not sure, that would be best for her.

But... just because you can doesn't mean you should. I don't remember how the marriage ended and we never saw either cousin or aunt again. There were rumors that Grandma got to visit and sent gifts for SS birthday and Christmas. Maybe she deson't remember her day, surely not us and opening up that can of worms is just not right. I got to see her happy. beautiful smiling face. She is so beautiful. She looks like her dad. I hope she and her mother made a new life and have been very happy. Sometimes, love means never having to say, a word...

fan or follower...

Another branch would include Like, as on Facebook. We all have degrees of enthusiasm for most everything in our lives. What separates the men from the boys analogy is how much Like. Are you a casual observer, a fan or a follower? What determines which camp you are in and what does moving from camp to camp. look like in one's life.

Good question. I have no answer, just more questions. Not a big fan of liking anything on FB because what does it really mean? I am either trying to win Something and being a fan literally means, I pushed a single button in an internet page. There is no true love or even, like. There is no true relationship. No commitment. No anything.

Being a fan. Is that a step up? What is the relationship when you are a fan? Do you wear the fan hat or tshirt? Have you even ever met the one you fan? What does being a fan, mean?

Follower. Are fan and follower the same? I am just asking. For me, to live in the Moment is to be fully involved in where you find yourself. Could I go from fan to follower and from follower to fan? Going to do some research. Ever notice Somedays, it is all about the questions?

you're welcome...

In talking to a younger, well dressed woman up at Sumpter, she shared her DIY pedicure recipe with me. Not sure how it came up but her enthusiasm was contagious and I decided to give it a try. Not one to usually try strange things except for that one time, I did try to paint a couch(a Story for another day). Duct tape on your heels, and overnight with socks on would leave me with smooth as a baby's behind, feet.

Gave myself a nice little peppermint-foot bath and with freshly cleaned and filed heels, I applied the tape, put on the socks and waited for 24 hours to pass. Must admit the Duct tape felt pretty good and I interpreted that to mean, it was working. Next morning, I ripped off the tape. This produced a few tense Moments and a bit of tape pain. When I went to feel my newly - baby butt smooth heels, the disappointment on my face was even evident to me. They were no smoother and now, they felt a bit sticky from the tape residue. I felt a bit disappointed, but realizing that I really didn't have much to lose, it was worth a try. Sometimes, you just have to go for it. If it had of worked, imagine how cool that would be. Wish I could have reported for all of you to go share this with the world but instead, you can't share this with the world - Move on, nothing to see here...

focus...

If you click on the flower picture, it won't take long to see that being able to change your focus after you take a picture, is a big deal. Lytro has my attention and email address. Haven't see it nor know how much it will cost although they say it will be affordable. Imagine never having to imagine.

Now, imagine what would happened if we could change the focus of our lives? With one click, we could move an issue, event or thought - to back of our minds. Here today, gone tomorrow, in an instant. NO more obsessing, no more anything.

But, we can't. Or if we do, we will have to work at it. always. No easy fix from Lytro or anyone else. We are stuck, Being human means it will always, always be about manual focus. We will always have to do the hard work and hopefully, will get better and faster at shifting the focus when we need to. We will have to enjoy the creative focus through Lytro and those who will follow. Just like other areas of our lives, using the wrong focus to live one's life can be counter-productive and even, life threatening. Knowing how to tell the difference will make all the difference in the world...

acceptance...

In talking about expectations, not sure you can get around not talking about acceptance. Not sure if acceptance comes before or after throwing away the expectations. Maybe there is a Place for them at each end.

Acceptance is sometimes seen as a waving of the white flag, admitting defeat, a giving up of sorts. It is seen with a yellow stripe painted down its back. I don't see it that way, I think it is a grown up, mature thing to do. Not a bad thing and quite possibly, a very good thing.

It is part of our journey, a big part. As we move from season to season in our lives, things change, people change, our lives do not, stay the same. If they do, we are doing Something very,very wrong.

Whether hopes, dreams, people or outcomes, when it time to move forward, acceptance moves in and will help with the transition. To the next thing, to the next leg of the journey. Think of it as an old friend, you get to see every so often. If you can change your perspective from a negative to a positive, there is only one way to see it for what it is. A win-win...

the Big Picture...

Picture all the expectations you have for yourself, your life, your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world. Take them from inside you, and toss them in the ocean. A river or lake will also do.

What happens to them? They float. They’re carried around by waves. The current takes them out, and they drift away. Let them be washed away by the cleansing waters, and let them go.

Now, live your life without them.

What’s a life without expectations like? It means you accept reality as it is, without expectations, without trying to force people into the containers you have for them, seeing things as they are. It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed or frustrated or angry — or if you are, you accept it, and then let it go.Zen Habits

Me and a million of my human colleagues watched this afternoon as the case we had been following for three years ended, with a not guilty verdict. A mother who admits he daughter died and that evening, she is seen on video, renting movies and acting completely normal by the boyfriend that was with her. The mother who didn't report her daughter missing for 31 days before her mother dragged her out of boyfriend's home, demanding to see her granddaughter. The mother who no matter what a jury of her peers have decided, will have to account to the One who gave her life of her actions, Someday.

Obviously, I am part of Team SheDidIt. Never able to imagine that she would be completely set free, that she would HAVE to be found of guilty of a lesser charge at the very minimum. Why all the emotion? Women don't like women who hurt their children. Those of us who had mothers like Casey Anthony, even less so. We have a hard time wrapping our brains around that concept even though it is nothing new. To be able to give life and feel the right to take it away, doesn't make sense to most of us. It never will.

I had read this quote last week and I didn't know what it meant until I heard the words, Not Guilty today. No instant gratification today. Today is about, the Big Picture. Somedays are just like that...

Happy 4th of July...

For all the reasons that you know and love. For those who gave their lives that we have the freedoms we enjoy every day....