needs to be moved...

Wouldn't be fabulous if one could attach this sign to other things in our lives? Immediately imagined themes like attitude,or mental tapes that keep playing in my head.

Have never not had someone take any thing we put at the curb with a free sign on it. The meighbor next door was asking how to get rid of an old lawn mower, he was also advised of our get rid of it quick action. Not sure how long this house an sign have been there. Out in the middle of nowhere, but on the road leading to the popular local lake, you can help but see it.

I use to think that garbage is grabage and that we are all on the same page about that, but that is no longer the case. Yard sales have taught me that if you find the right buyer, you can sell anything. Empty plastic diaper wipe containers are popular at yard sales. I use to walk buy them and wonder, who in the world would take these home and no less, buy them? Watch a couple of seasons of Hoarders and you will know that trash is king.

But the truth is, getting rid of the issues in our lives is not as easy as setting them out at the curb. While there is a Part of each of us that we would gladly give away freely to get it off our backs, this is not the solution. we have to work through them, divide and conquer. Do the hard work that it takes. Find the trash in our lives and dispose of it, bit by bit. Not unlike the sign, we have have to know that Something in our lives, needs to be moved. That is the hardest part. After realizing and making the decision, the rest is fairly doable. The hard part has been done. Yet I can help wishing, it was as easy as the sign says...

McDonalds...

I have friends that brag about not going to McDonalds...You may never have step foot in a McDonald's but you have your own McDonalds. Maybe instead of buying a Big Mac, you read Us Weekly. Hey, that is still McDonalds, it is just served up a little differently. Or you tell yourself that that Starbuck Frappacino isn't a milkshake or maybe, you watch Glee. It's all McDonalds. McDonalds of the soul. Momentary pleasure followed by incredible guilt, eventually leading to cancer, I'm Lovin It. We all have our own McDonalds.Jim Gaffigan/Mr Universe.

We have all done it. If you have a kid, it is not quite as embarrassing but without a kid, pulling in to a Mc Donalds finds you in a Place you don't want to Be. You might consider confessing to almost anything other than being there for lunch. But, like all good humor, when it is 95% true, it is laugh until it hurts, true.

I admit there are times that is seems to be a good idea to go have a Big Mac, although I wait for it to pass. Have a tougher time passing on the Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit. Even the grands don't like McDonalds anymore. There will tell you, It is not Real Food. That is Something, coming from kids.

From one who has had income from making McDonalds fries forever, it may a bit disloyal but there are greater virtues. I will say that is nothing like a fresh McDonalds fry eaten right off the production line. Nothing. Mama could never cook like that.

But Jim is right, we all have McDonalds in our lives. Things we eat, do or say that are not good for us yet, we do them anyway. We have heard all the warnings, are knowledgeable beyond measure and still, we choose to take the low road. We hope no one sees us and if they do, we are ready to lie, right there and then. Good words, Mr Gaffigan...

day 24...

After having medical insurance for 46 years, we are headed to Places unknown. Nowhere is it written that life is fair and no more than when it comes to the simple, basics that we all have come to take, for granted.

As we count the days to Retirement 2.0, we are also trying up a few loose ends. The first few months will most certainly be lived, one day at a time. It will take a few months for SS and a company pension to kick in. The good thing is, we are mentally ready. The last 14 years, have been a great training ground. I can cook better than 90% of the meals we eat out. It is the first time in my life, I have been successful at saving money. we are ready, as much as we can be.

So, we focus on what we do have control over. I expect in 50 or so days, DH will have the start of a great beard. I always imagined him with a full, manly beard. I also imagined him with hair when this whole look would happen and we all know how that turned out. Life is full of holes. Full of expectations that never see the light of day and it is our duty, to plan but to let the fluidity of life - flow. It is normal for a tree to sway, bending farther than one could imagine. Back and forth, until it looks like there is nothing left to do but break. If the tree is rigid, there will be no movement and the break will come, much faster. I want my tree to be taken down to the ground, over and over and over again, then, look the sky in the face and say, is that all you've got?. Let's see if it is possible, let's take a chance...

file, close...

This is a visual of what it feels like when my brain is full.

Starting with the color. Color brings passion, at its best and crazyness, at its worst. That is why I prefer black and white, mostly. My favorite image of color is when there is just a pop of one specific color and all the others, just fall in line.

When my brain is full, the colors all run together. Like if you melt a bucket of crayons, they all run together. You can't tell where one starts and ends. I know this seems to be rambling but when I work 99% in the planned, carefully arranged, and anal world and I step into the world of Life, there really is a difference in perception. Life is messy, it is unkind, it is extremely unpredictable. It is a world where bad news can come at any time and while we wait for it be different, sometimes we just have to be. To those of you who are heavy on my mind, I pray. For those who cross my path, either in thought or deed, I pray. For those who make me laugh throught it all, may God bless you, BIG...

Kickstarter

Done with Facebook? So over Pinterest? Ready to take a chance at something new?

Kickstarter, have you heard of it? It allows us, the consumer to help get in on the ground floor of the New and Now. There are projects in many different areas of interest, that are waiting to be funded by us, Joe Public. Technology, art, books - someone brings their project to the virtual table and you have a chance to decide if you would like to help fund the said project and at what level. I took the plunge last week and have a new, smaller stylus for my iPad coming that sounds fabulous.

Not all projects meet their minimum and never get off the ground. Some are over funded by 100's of percent. There is a new invention sheriff in town and a new way of doing things. Fun to see some local projects too. Imagine there will be many more of this type of creative, outlets. It gives each one of us a chance, to take that one terrific idea and make it come to life. At any given time, we all have ideas and inventions floating around in our little heads. We carry them around for years, and then we see them of TV. As Seen On Tv - someone stole my idea.

The future is bright and the future is here. Not looking to reinvent the wheel, but a fresh start with new eyes. Ideas coming to life, looking forward to it all...

spiritual gifts...

In almost every church I have attended, at one time or another, there was a semi-forced ritual of taking a spiritual gifts class. Much like the hit Hallmark takes for promoting Valentine's, Mothers and Fathers Day - there is a bit of self promotion involved.

When you take the test, realize what your gifts are, then you can be plugged into the church in your given field. I don't remember the questions or answers of any of mine but I do about the last one that DH took. After politely answers all the questions, he came up very strong in hospitality. If you have spent five minutes with him, you would know - this is so not true. He loves to talk to people. He once talked to a complete stranger at a street fair for over an hour. We thought it was a long lost friend as we impatiently waited, and waited and waited for him to finish. By the time he did, we were past caring who this guy was and when we found out he was a stranger, some of us went off.

I don't remember anyone at the church trying to plug him into any hostessing duties. Where he really shined was at one church during a fact finding committee trying to build a new santuary and his sharing that for a buliding that is used less than 10 hours a week, it didn't make sense to spend a gazillion dollars to build a new building. I was never more proud of him. Imagine a few someone's on that committe wished his hospitality skills had been put to use, elsewhere.

The Stories of Noah, David and Abraham seem to point to God not caring much about spiritual gifts but rather, His Will. Paul, Peter and the other disciples, did not seemed to come with gifts, not even having the simple gifts of faith, prayer and hope. God doesn't seem to care too much about what you have been graced with but what you are willing to do. Make no mistake, if you choose him - it is a rocky road. There is chaos, pain, and grief in the midst of whatever gifts you have been given. We all have special gifts and talents, do we always use them or use them correctly? If we let ourselves go and do what is uncomfortable, goes against our grain, so to speak...what happens? We add to our experience and what was unfamiliar, is not familiar. It is human nature to think a bit grand of oneself if we feel like we have a handle in that area. We also are hesitant, if we think we don't know much about where we are at. It is God who gives the spiritual gifts, when and for long, we need them. They may last a moment or a lifetime, ours is not to figure out why. Ours is to live in the Moment.

the mother in all of us...

There is a very distinct drive in most women to love and protect. I would rather face a hundred men with guns drawn that a mother who is trying to protect her own. Whether to comfort or to worry, the thinking process of one who gave birth is always the same, no matter what age the child is. My amount of mind time about my girl is no different than when she was seven, only the circumstances have changed. If I perceive she is in danger, I will go after the Danger, the same way I have my entire life. We can't protect our children against everything, it is not possible and we have have to live with that. But, on my watch, there is a Real and present threat to whoever crosses our paths.

To comfort your child, is also, always a constant. You never want to stop hugging your kids but you need to balance it out with a bit of timing. Just like not grabbing your almost teenage grandson at school, because you are so happy to see him...give him a high five and a big hug later.

I am so glad I got to be a mother. It is something that I always dreamed of being. It is an honor to have one to love and cherish, whose blood is the same as yours, yet, her own person. Someone to celebrate and cry with. Someone to pray for. Someone, to love with your whole heart...

scars...

We all have them and mostly, we can tell you a Story that goes with each one. Rich in detail, we are proud of the slings and arrows of Outrageous fortune and will gladly all kinds of insight.

Here is a head that has many Stories to tell but perhaps because the scars are visible only on the external, it may appear not as interesting as a personal wounds. This helmet may have saved more than one, trips to the local emergency room. He is hard on life, the idea of serious injury is left to us, who do enough worrying for all of us.

Google...

Your iPhone/Pad/Pod carries around your music history. There is much to learned about someone from their music, tons. The same can be said about your library. That is the reason that I have the ZD Memorial Library. If anyone wants to know about me, spend a few moments crusing through the five bookshelves and you will have a pretty good picture of who I am by who I have read.

The same can now be said of your Google history. What you are thinking, what is going on in your everyday life, it is all on Google. More accurate than a checkbook register, it can account for whatever was going through your mind, at any given time. Here is mine for the last few days.

bose mobile speaker
tallbone pain exercises
the yummy life blog
pool sofa float
plant based diet
container gardening
facebook ipo
reel theater
snapstagram
kickstarter

Does that not give you information that you would never have known otherwise? Thinking we may want to document this somehow. Never one to do anything the conventional way, what better way to give someone, the full monty - so to speak. Forget Ancestry.com, this is the Real Deal...

remember...

We live in the boonies, or at least what use to be. DH's aunt tells us that her and her first husband's dairy, is where our house stands now. The cemetary less than a 1/2 mile is living proof to that. Surrounded by houses and one of three high schools, I imagine the city planners never thought that we would all share this cozy space together.

Maybe we have never been home at 11AM on Memorial Day in the last 14 years. This year, as I headed to town, the streets, in both directions, were wall to wall cars. A celebration of those who fought and gave their lives for our country, stood at attention, listening intently.

I have never attended a Memorial Day service. My father and grandfather were veterans but the holiday was always celebrated with picnics. I can remeber thinking as a kid that Memorial Day was for all people who had died, I was an adult before I learned differently. I hope the next generation doesn't forget and will take the responsibility to continue to honor because of people like Marine Sgt. William Stacey.

He was on his fourth deployment when he was kileed by a homemade bomb in Afghanistan earlier this year. He had written a letter to his family that was to be read in the event of his death. It was read during a Memorial Day service in Afghanistan yesterday by Marine General John Allen.

My death did not change the world, it may be tough for you to justify its meaning at all. But there is a greater meaning to it.

Perhaps I did not change the world. Perhaps there is still injustice in the world. But there will be a child who will live because men left the security they enjoyed in the home country to come to his. And this child will learn in the news schools that have been built. He will walk his streets not worried about whether or not his leader's henchman are going to come and kidnap him. He will grow into a fine young man who will pursue every opportunity his heart could desire. He will have the gift of freedom, which I have enjoyed for so long.

If my life buys the safety of a child who will one day change the world, that I know it was all worth it.

Semper Fidelis means always faithful,. Always faithful to God, Country and Corps. Always faithful to the principles and beliefs that guided me into the service. And on that day in October when I placed my hand on a bible and swore to defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, I meant it. Marine Sgt. William Stacey.

From his mouth to God's ear...

pomp and circumstance...

Maybe we need to attend a graduation every year, whether we know someone or not. It is good for the soul to be refreshed with the reminder that some have reached a milestone in their lives and are starting on a new path. As humans, we all need that reminder, that a a few bars of Pomp and Circumstance. Everytime I hear that song, I remember myself on the night.

Fresh, full of hope for new beginnings. A sense of accomplishment, a job well done and now, out into my forever Life. After graduation night and an all nighter at Disneyland, the glare of that job well done, started to dim and the idea of a Real job, became louder than loud. My father was starting over with a new family, and I was kicked out of the nest. Little did I know that in four months, my mother would be dead by her own hand. What a way to start one's new forever.

We all know it turned out fine, better than fine. There would be many, many twists and turns but in the end, it was all good.

My Commentment Speech to Miss Zalaine Daniels, Class of 1969, Pacifica High School, Garden Grove, California.

The Real World is out there waiting for you, I know you are thrilled with your new found freedom but it will be tough. Job, college, where to live - all seem pretty glamorous choices and you, my friend, will have to make them all. Some things will be out of your control. Respond the best you can at the age you are. Look forward to making better choices everyday, as your life experiences change you. You will make mistakes, count on it, just don't make the same ones, twice.

I am rooting for you my friend, I have got your back. Now, go get em...

day 37...

About all I can focus on these days is how in 37 days, my life is making a big shift. Maybe the biggest ever. Isn't the chnage that is in front of you, always the biggest one?

Believe me, I am in full control of my multiple,mental personalities and to think that it will be all fun and games in 37 days, is not what I am thinking. There will be adjustments to be made. Compromise will become necessary 24/7 with no 8-5, days a week, breaks.

Maybe the idea of fun comes because I have an almost 15 year, head start on him. I have learned how to have fun and the experience has been the best thing, ever. Yes, two months after retirement, I found out I was going to nana and because of his work schedule, he has lived vicarously through me. No, we talk about taking day trips with the kids or just heading over at 10pm on a warm, summer night to go to Sonic for a Coke.

There will be head butting days.
There will be days, we will just have to stay out of each other's way.
Nothing can, always be fun.

That is the thing about fun. It comes and it goes but if you can see it, in the Moment...what a gift that is. I am planning on many, many fun days. Ready or not, here we come...

pets...

As an child and a grownup, I have had many pets. Mostly dogs, there is nothing quite like a dog to feel mighty loved. I understand there was a pekingese in the house when I was brought home from the hospital that needed some coaxing and some watching because of her one person attactment to my mother but sounded like, she finally came around.

Growing up, we had Gypsy. A type of heeler was her heritage and we had her for a bit but she magically disappeared. Later, we would learn that everytime my father was in the yard with us, she would bite him. Seems like we had her a long time, but like most things in childhood, they always look bigger and seem longer and you remember better than they really were.

Dogs are probably man's best friend. There is just Something. Fond memories of Ling Ling, Malcolm, Murphy and Miss Sadie. These days, we are pet free. Not because we don't want pets but these days as DH said last week, a dog is a luxury. He is spot on. If you have a pet, you better have a pet 401K. My sister has spent thousands of dollars on vet bills for her cat/cats, over the years. They don't have children so I get that. Before the kids got Banjo, they would suggest almost everytime we saw them, that we get a dog. Finally I told them, I can spend money on you or a dog, not both...There was no dog talk after that.

Everytime I see Banjo, it is like being loved by a four grandchild. I have to stop, pick him up, love on him before he can calm down. As I walk up to the house, I can hear him barking like crazy, knowing that soon he will be jumping around my ankles, looking for some Love.

Some big Love for all the animals that have come across my journey. You guys all taught me something with your love and devotion. Thank you, and for Banjo, thanks for all the love these days - poppa and I heart you too!

summer...

The calendar doesn't say summer. Not for a long while but the air outside does. It doesn't take much heat to allow one to think that a little bit of Beach Boys music is in order and watermelon goes on the menu while spaghetti goes back in the vault.

Raised in Southern California, the line between seasons is a bit blurry. Never seeing snow until I was 18, was a big deal. Still is. That is why summer here is Something to so look forward to. Sometimes we ease in into it, like this year and sometimes, boom - it is here one day and doesn't leave until late fall. We finished with soccer last weekend and the car is filled with coats, blankets, an umbrella and sunscreen. Never knowing what to expect, we were prepared for any and all things.

When the warm of the sun, spreads across your face, there is nothing quite like it. Laying on your back on a colorful blanket, looking up at the sky, seems like the most natural thing ever and just like riding a bike, you never forget how. The flip flops have been out for quite a while and no matter what the weather, have made a stand that no matter what, they are here to stay. Nothing quite like sitting in a warm car with a cold drink, jus ttaking in the sun. Nothing. So summer 2012, go ahead, whatever your agenda is for this year, we are ready. No longer in fight and flight mode, we are here no matter what you decide to do, we are here for the long haul.

It is suppose to start raining early in the week and probably ruin our chances of a Memorial Day trip to Sumpter, Oregon. It would not be the first time. We have taken the chance, made the 2 1/2 hour drive, got out of the car and right back in, to drive the 2 1/2 hours back. A memorable trip for all the wrong reasons. Looks like we will have to make the next one on June 30th. That is 40 days from now. How do I know? Retirement is the June 29th and the summer of 2012 will offically start for us. Summrt lovin, indeed.

your precious self...

Sometimes you’re not blocked, you’re empty. Anne Lamott.

While my camera is never far, my digital scrapping seems to have gone by the wayside. A combination of style change and not knowing what to do with that. It is about product and when you are not using anyone's product, you are left, galleryless. With Facebook and trying to keep up in the galleries of my digi family, I feel wiped out. Like I can't take type another Like, that too much time and brain power is needed that I can seem to muster.

Maybe it is because in 42 days, life changes. With retirement for DH, my life changes too. It is summer and all that comes with that glorious season. Being able to take off to go fishing, or grab the grandbabies to frolic and picnic, I find time is yanking me in two directions.

Maybe Anne is right, it is not about trying to find my mojo but I am empty, right now. I never thought of it like that. Always have discussions on the scrapping boards about where did inspiration go and how does one find it? What if it is not to be found? What if it is just a waiting game?

At least I can put a face to what I have been feeling. When a photo with a word of explanation is all that makes me happy, time to pay attention and stop trying to make excuses. It is what it is. Go with the flow, whatever it may look like and don't worry. That may very well be true...

miracles...

I have not always been a big believer in miracles. If anything, life experiences had proved, to the contrary. There have been Moments of clarity where where a miracle could not be denied. Getting married, having my baby, then grand babies but the idea of a these being a miracle always came in hindsight during one of Those Moments.

It has probably been the last 10 years that miracles have become the norm in my life. Now, I see miracles as they happen, I recognize them. They are not always the Big Moments, where lives are saved or changed. They come slowly and quietly. Even bigger than the miracles themselves is the idea that not only are they possible, but part of the Big Plan. They come unexpectedly and you have to be ready for them. They may come in a face, a conversation or even an app.

The game of Yahtzee is my current teacher. I have done it many times. Last play, last roll - I am losing and here it comes. A perfect roll where everything is comes together. Yesterday was one of those days. There is was, when I needed it most. I smiled big, not because I had won but because it just showed me again, anything is possible. Maybe it will, maybe it won't but it is possible. I was reminded of that again a few plays later, when the same thing happened to my opponent, Flavius. I would rather lose to the wonderfully, beautiful Mai or the marvelously wise, Sensei. Flavius is always telling me to, Relax. When it happens to Mai or Sensei, I am so happy for them, Flavius, not so much. When that changes, we will have a real miracle on our hands...

stubborn...

Stubborn - refusing to move or change one's opinion.



To be of stubborn stock, makes one destined to live a life that is way harder than it need be. To be immovable, to hunker down and refuse, to be like a donkey, is nothing to be proud of. Making a more difficult life by being unflexible sounds like something that no one would embrace yet... you would be wrong. Being of semi-sound mind and body, I will readily admitted that I am a member of this club. I may even be the treasurer or secretary. Ok, maybe vice-president but never, ever...ok, I could be president. I come from a long line of difficult people and am sure, have passed the torch to a few more.


Stubborn...I would never wish it on my worst enemy.



I learned first hand last week how, once again, being stubborn not only didn't pay off but cost me about 6 weeks of time. Once I gave in, the answer was very simple, the results were lighting fast and once again, I stand, shaking my head, wondering what I was thinking. That might just be the point, I wasn't. Would like to think I will remember this lesson, Down The Road but am smart enough to know, I will have to learn it again and again but that is the value of being stubborn. We never take the Road Most Traveled....No, we have to take our own road and because of that - it will always be a bit, rocky...

right between the eyes...

I am a Expect The Best, Preparded For The Worst kind of girl. I know I have at least a 50/50% chance of things going ok with a better than 20% chance of it going, splendidly but my eye is always, always - on the bottom line.

I go through any given day, praying for people I will never meet, for situations that will never happen, yet live in a world where change is constant and inevitable. So yesterday, I am minding my own business and I find a book Gage has written. He has drawn illustations to Louis Armstrong's song, What a Wonderful World.

I stopped. I needed to see the world through his eyes. I needed this before I could take another step.

Every once in a while, life becomes crystal clear...

transparency...

One of the last things Dr Tim talked about in class before his summer hiatus was the idea of being transparent. That instead of WWJD or trying to be like Jesus, that we become more and more transparent and let God show through us. It is the perfect picture of what our lives should look like. Easy to say, hard to do.

Not growing up in the Church Universal, I was instantly sucked into the idea that Doing was the way to making God happy. The more I did, the happier He would be. I was good at it, really good. When Doing is your goal, all you have to do is produce, over and over again. Over the years and after much unlearning, I no longer see many things as I once did. No longer is the church, complete with building, people, events and schedules my ideal of what God's church looks like....Whereever 2 or 3 are gathered, that is my idea of church now. Whereever and whoever, no group singing or handshaking required.

The art of being transparent will be a Journey we will travel, everyday of our lives. To risk what you think you need to do, to be still long enough to let Him shine through, goes against our need to do. There will always be Places To Do, where a word, gesture in the form of a little Love will be the right thing. When we stop getting our jollies from doing, when we stop patting ourselves on the back for the great work we are doing, when we are ok with being used instead of using, we may be on the right track. We can do many things that are good and wonderful, for the wrong reasons. Whether to make ourselves feel better or bigger. Whether we think we know what Jesus is like and spend our lives, imitating Him or we are willing to let ourselves fade into the background, taking no thought of reward or warm fuzzies. It will always be our choice, always...

Mother's Day...

I totally disagree with one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott about Mother's Day. She feels the same way about Valentine's Day.

It celebrates the great lie about women: That those with children are more important than those without.

This time, I really think she missed the point. If she wants to debate Hallmark and Flowers.com's involvement in the retail push of Mother's Day, then I would wholeheartedly, agree. We spend billion of dollars every year, trying to prove our love. While it is a wonderful thing to get a card from your grown daughter and grandchildren, written with their very own little hands, it is not about the physical proofs.

It is also not about being better. There are plenty of people who can and do have children, that shouldn't. Being part of this particular club is hit or miss. If you follow this line of thinking, I should be crushed every Martin Luther King's Day, or Father's Day. We can not be in everything. Some clubs we are a part of, and some we are not. While we experience, participate and spread ourselves, many different lies, these holidays are not about being bette3r or worse.

Every one of us came into this world with a mother, whether you know, have met, hate or loved her. It is a universal experience we all share. The details of each experience however, vary wildly. If there is a lie told, it has to be about not being honest about the loving concept of motherhood. It is not all about flowers and love. For some of us, it is about terror and fear. This was our first human connection. It is where we learn to trust, to feel love. If this didn't happen, Mother's Day will never be a Day of Feeling Important. Never.

We had a great day. Lunch and then, off to feed the geese at the park. Little things that mean the world and the importance of being greatful, that is what it is important...

ride...

While mainly I consider myself a convertible-type person, my life journey has contained multiple vehicle types. At different times, different terrian, it is not a straight away path. There are bumps, those pesky speed bumps meant to slow you down. We have to have them because most of us have to be reminded to slow down. Over and over and over again.

Mother's Day is another one of those paths where we may have to change vehicles, often. As our kids grow, we have to keep peddling to keep up. Knowing which way to go is tough if you aren't able to keep up. Sometimes, we need a Hummer. We need to be able to keep up, no matter how much a gallon it is costing us. Sometimes,we can afford to slow down and enjoy the view with the darlins.

Whether you are a mother or have/had one, we all share this universal maternal experience. This is our first experience with a human when we are born, and our life-long journeys are defined by this one experience. Where ever you find yourself today, try to see the Big Picture. Bask in the love of a good mother or be better than was done to you. Get on your bicycle and keep on peddling, knowing you are the best woman you can be...

innocence...

It is hard to un-know things. Guard your innocence. Donald Miller.

How many times as adults, do we protect ourselves? We spend a huge amount of time protecting our kids, gradnkids, friends and just about anyone else you comes across our path. We act like we are invincible, like we don't need innocence protection because, we have already, seen it all.

The older I get, the less sure I am about that.

Wikipedia describes innocence as, a term used to indicate a lack of guilt, with respect to any kind of crime, sin, or wrongdoing.

Learning is a good thing. We should be students, every day of our lives. But what do we need to learn and what do we not need to learn? Are we learning the wrong things? Every bit of knowledge we take in, isn't the truth. Where and how do we protect ourselves? Can I still be innocent at my age and what does that look like.

Makes me hope I haven't seen it all.
Makes me understand that un-knowing gets harder, the older you get.
Makes me understand, learning isn't just about taking it all in...

underarmour...

At any given Moment, we are on the verge of a new discovery. New to us but not to the world. Many have already discovered it, we are just late to the party.

How did we miss it?
Where has this been all my life?
Why did no one tell me?

It can be anything, from soup to nuts. A few weeks ago, my girl mentioned that these particular corn chips were the best, just like Chapala. Since I love Chapala's chips, I took her up on her offer to sample them. I have not looked back and Juanita's Chips are now a staple in my pantry. They are light, crisp and salty. The perfect chip. When picking up a few more bags last weekend, I shared this new found knowledge with the cashier at Walmsrt. She said she has heard that before but had not tried them yet.. Hope she tries them soon, she is most certainly, missing out.

Gage is having this same experience with UA. It is a line of clothing that has an appeal with outdoorsy people. DH has used it for years in the winter. Climbing around on railroad cars during the winter is nightmare and even more so in the middle of the night. Those days are now gone but the UA is still looks great and is going strong.

Gage doesn't ask for much so when he asked repeatedly this weekend to go on an Under Armour shopping trip, his mom obliged. We hit Sports Authority Sunday afternoon and hit the mother lode of UA items. He now has a collection of shirts, shorts, socks and sandals. He let it be known if we find UA underwear and a hat, he was vertainly open to having those too. Just like the chips, you can't have too much of this new and marvelous thing.

His birthday is toward the end of August. It will be interesting to see if he wants a winter warerobe of UA. Will not buy ahead, I learned my lesson for good. It is hard to tell but the one thing that is for certain, there will be many, many photos this summer of Gage in his favorite. It will always be known as the Summer of UA and Juanita's Chips. That is just the way it is...

there's an app for that...

What if God had his own App store where everything was free? What apps would be on your iBrain device?

Here's is a few of mine.

Is the Garage Door closed? This might be up in front. This would change my life if I didn't feel the need to go around the block and make sure the garage door was closed. It would save much time. A lot of time.

Why am I Considering Making This Choice that I Know isn't a Good One? You have mulled it over in your mind. You know it is not the right thing to do, yet...you are not ready to let go. You are fully aware of the consequences but are still trying to find a way to justify it.

12 cookies won't kill me. This app might help you understand, the incorrectness in that thought process.

I have a million more. How great would it be to just cruise around for the app you need, at any given Moment? At the hospital and need some assistance, there is an app for that. The thing is, maybe we already have everything we need to to make the tough decisions, accept the heartbreak and know what step to take next. There will always be a Way that looks greener but if you already have what you need, maybe greener isn't the way to go. There is an app, I could get into...

living the gray...

The truth is, most of life is lived in the gray. While we each have our black and white issues and they range in degree,and swing wildly from person to pserson. Shaped by family history and personal experience, we all still have huge blocks of life that have no absolute answers. We have to continue to shift, squirm and fake it until we make it.

With no manual to help led the way, we take the information we do have,and mix it with a healthy dose of what we think. The power to be fluid is an absolute essential. There is a Time to be precise, a time to be black and white. That may look different to each of us and even shift within our own lives but that is only about 25% of our lives. The rest is in that gray area, where we do the best we can because we are not afraid to think outside the box, to be out of our own, comfort zones. It is scary and crazy and at any given time, you can't be positive if you are right or wrong but that is part of the journey. Living the gray in the Real World, takes courage and commitment. I have seen many of you do it and I take heart, that I am able to follow suit...

a long, long time ago...

I have thought about this photo all week. Took me a while to find it but there it was, in the Hummer folder in 2006. Gage was three and had an unnatural Love for Hummers. So one day, I packed him up and headed to the Hummer dealer. I took this while I looked for a salesman. I needed someone that would understand that while there would be no sale from us that day, this was an awesome opportunity to throw a little car love our way.

After explaining that a Real Love for Hummers had brought us here, what we were asking was to let a little boy, climb around the car of his dreams and that, he got to do. He was told to pick out any one he wanted. How do you pick from 20 Hummers? Finally, the yellow one won him over and he crawled over every inch of that motor vehicle. He wasn't rushed and when he had enough of the new car smell, we were off for ice cream.

That was 6 years ago. When I asked him the other day what he was listening to on his Nano, he told me what his latest fav was. Every time I see K, G or Miss M, I always ask about what is going on in their heads. Music, apps, sports, fingernail polish. We still take these field trips. Keaton is all about the City. He loves the feel of urban life. Gage is my football guy. We had an in depth convo about the NFL Draft this week. I researched it before our talk and he was quite impressed that he didn't have to explain very much to me. As for Miss M, she is into much of what the brothers, as she calls them, are. She loves their music and can keep up with them, step by step. She knows the song lyrics as well as they do but still likes her girl things.

When I look back at this photo, it reminds me of what is important. To honor the little things, to make time for what seems would be impossible. It also reminds me, that listening may be one of the most important things we can do for each other. Sorry dude, they don't make Hummers any more but wait until I introduce you to a Porsche 911. We would look so cool in that on your 21st birthday! I can hardly wait...

following rules...

Some of us are better at it than others. Whether it is Somewhere you excel or not, the truth is - we all need rules.

We, the human race, you and me, all of us. We need some kind of guide, we have proven over and over and over again,left to our own devices, it is not a pretty picture.

Even with rules, because of where we each believe the spectrum of the authority of rules lie, we still have big problems. As a society, there are many reasons that even with rules, we fail. Why are these common sense lessons, not capable of being applied to each of us? From big to little, from minor to major with a bit of common sense throwm in for good measure.

If it isn't yours, don't take it.
Stop before the light is red.
Park between the lines in a parking lot.

Even this duck has better sense than some humans. Do the best you can with what you have. Make a good choice, at least more often than not...

david and Goliath...

From Max Lucado, Facing Your Giants...

Skinny, scrawy david
Bulky, brutish Goliath.

The toothpick verses the tornado.
The minibike attacking the eighteen-wheeler.
The toy poodle taking on the rottweiller.

Your Giant doesn't carry a sword or a shield, he brandishes blades of unemployment, abandonment, sexual abouse or depression.
Your Giant doesn't parade up and down the hills of Elah, he prances thorough your office, your bedroom, your classroom. He brings bills, you can't pay, grades, you can't make, people, you can't please, whiskey(insert favorite vice here), you can't resist....a past, you can't shake and a future, you can't face.

Where is your focus? That is where your battle is. Is it time to change the focus to what you have, to what you believe? To be grateful for what you are and to know you are so much better than cowering in the corner, waiting for the Giant to take you out? Time to fight back - will it change the outcome? Maybe not, but it will change your journey...

What,

...if anything, did I learn today?

My favorite morning show, Morning Joe, always ends with the question, What, if anything, did we learn today?

With a bit of modification, it is a great question. I don't buy the notion that there may be a day, when nothing is learned. I don't care if you don't leave your bed, there is Something to be learned, every single day. If nothing else, to understand that the power to learn is ours, if we choose, all the time. Every moment, every hour, every day. No exceptions.

That being said and gotten off my chest, the things I am capable of learning and the things that are available to be learned are an nevernending lists of knowns and unknowns, taking turns at being in our thinking universes. Sometimes, there are common senses issues that we have forgotten or never learned properly enough to be anchored in our brains. Not talking about those, Oh darn, I did it again moments,it is about those, I never thought about it like that moments that give us cause for change.

Heard a doctor this morning, promoting his new book illness and he said if you take an 81 mg asprin a day for at three year, you lessen your chance of cancer by 36%. Just $2 a year seems a pretty small price to pay for any benefit, no less such a seemingly large one. I have been taking my daily baby orange tablet for about that long. Way before this doctor's recommendation, I had heard too much about this benefit, not to add it to my daily routine but nice to know, it was a good move.

Some things you learn, in progress. As this boy grows, I have to remember to ask permission to take his photo when we are out. I just saw him listening to him iPod while grocery shopping with his mom and me and had the shot in my head.
Furiously trying to get the camera out of my purse, the moment for spontaneity passed and the photo I had in my head became, staged. And...I forgot to ask Keaton's permission. He got a little red in the face but we were good. He is so close to being 13 and I must complete my journey of his boyhood and replace it with a new one. His manhood. Hugging, taking picture - need to learn that when we are out in public, the Do Ask policy is always, always in force.

I do ask myself this question everyday and even on the days that the answer hurts, I am still aware that learning stands alone. It is not about the outcome but what choices you make to go there. The chance to be better, do better and grow. Can hardly wait to see what is coming my way today...

eyes, wide open...

Dinner at Piehole. Bacon and pototo pizza, and a big slice of Real Life.

Before a reading by one of my favorite authors, David Sederis - my friend and I wandered the street of Boise, looking for a bite to eat. After passing a few, we both kept coming back to Piehole. Her son had said he loved it, we had passed it during Saturday Market, so it was settled.

We sat outside with our meal and it didn't take long for the entertainment to start. We heard them before we sawthem. A bachelorlette party, in full voice and swing. This ladies were sitting next to us but know that those a few blocks away, heard what we heard. Their excitement was contagious, these chicks obviously loved, to party.

It was obviously prom night. A constant slew of prom goers, one with their own photographer, roamed up and down the street. Beautiful gowns and lovely men wear kept our interest as we munched away, It was also soon apparent that their was another kind of prom going on. Or at the very least, a dress up event. There was a group, dressed to the nines in short, sassy dresses. Beautiful hair, looking their very best, who were also men. Not judging here, but is not a sight I am use to seeing. My camera started to jump put of purse. The ultimate in street photography, yet the fear of being beat up was greater. On the way to the theater, we saw 3 men dressed as an indian, a hippie and a police men and yes, they went into a bar. Camera, camera - where are you! Culture 2012 was in full swing and we took in every bit of it.

Soon, we had to head for our venue. A reading about limo drivers and colonoscopys, finished off our nights. Laughing at the everyday Moments that we all share. To hear about your family, make ours look just as crazy as we thought, now we can say it out loud.

Thank you, Boise for a wonderful night! It was a ball...

RIP 467-3823 and Simplot

.

It is now official, retirement day for DH is June 29, 2012. Paperwork is done, money will be coming in Down The Road. The second Wednesday of the month will be our new favorite day. Seems unreal that it is here.

We are giving up the home phone and going all the way with the cells. It is time. Will be offline for a few days until we get new setup, up and running. Changes are coming faster and we are dodging and weaving, learning to love the new as we did the old.

Thought about keeping the old phone number but with the election coming up, we were pretty sure that giving it up was the best thing for our mental health. No more 10PM calls with fake voices, wanting something from us. The idea of living in the semi- anonymous world of cell phones is starting to make prefect sense.

It is just a phone, why the sad face? Why...it is the how I found out my girl was getting married, the same one that informed me, I was going to be a nana. It also brought the news that my father, mother and father in law were close to death. I imagine that I will never forget you, old friend. Thanks for the memories...

Change, here you come! We are as ready as we will ever be...now, where is my phone?

connection...

Each of us is a traveling show. What we do, where we go and how we do it. The people that cross our path on a daily basis, whether we know them or not, are our people. Sometimes there is a connection and sometimes, there is not. Yesterday, found ourselves in a connection that did not feel right. What do I do with that?

Have you ever just met someone and felt, instantly connected? For an introvert like me, this has happened way too often. In several cases, I never saw that person again. The connection was for that time and that place, alone. Have learned to accept that and even flourish in the concept. What about someone who wants to be your friend and you don't feel the same way? There is no reason to be flippant or rude. We all have different personal boundries and we learn to work within them, adjust where we need to.

The point is to just be aware of the people that surround your path. There may be there for a short time or forever. I tell myself, it is not always about you . It is not about me trying to be like Jesus, it is about being empty and available, as needed. It is about being aware, being alive to one's own journey and fluid enough to stop on the path and just be with those whom He loved. It may be a quick hello, long hello. It may be about listening to someone for a few Moments, being heard by one who needs an ear. It may mess up your day, your week or your life, so be it...so be it...

manly men...

Not until my husband told me, did I understand anything about men. Many years ago, he explained how difficult it is to ask a girl out. First, a man has to talk himself into it and then, is at the mercy of said, woman. Let's be honest, women are not always kind.

Depending on which side of the beauty scale, he and she are at and the confidence of his ability to be given a chance, there are obviously many variables here but looking back over my experience and one guy in particular, I wished I had been more prepared and not tripping over myself, trying to run away and pretend it never happened.

Later, I would date someone who was far prettier than me. My friends would say, they would take him, anytime. It was not pretty but it is part of my history and hopefully, I learned from it.

Back to DH, what a wonderful 40 years he has spent with me. He actually deserves a trophy and a huge gift certificate of which will not be forthcoming but it is the thought that counts.

I hope this kid gets the girl. He looked so happy...

I hope his goofy grin, wins her over.
I hope he is smiling in 40 years.
I hope they live Happily Ever After.

cause and effect...

Friday night was the Kony 2012, Cover The Night event. Every country, every city that participated - plastered walls, telephone poles and whatever else was legal or not. The Boise FB page showed that 3000 were shwoing up to the event and another 500, were maybes. The reality was 300, showed up.

Whether the fall of Jason Russell or the law enforcement's instructions that a piece of plastic was the only place to put posters, had an influence - we will never know. We hit downtown early but with the opening day of the Farmers Market, it was tough to see anything. Got some cool pics of the sidewalk art that had been done but that was about it.

Later in the day, we cruised around our little town and that there was some Kony action here. Had not even considered that there might be Something so close but looks like that would be an error on my part.

I have lived long enough to believe that you don't have to have a super, big number to succeed. One little poster can change the world, is a view I firmly believe in. From the day of the first video, I have prayed for Joseph Kony, every day. It is a specific prayer. Have imagined him in the jungle, or a safe house. Know that God knows exactly where he is. Part of the paryer is for his safety, that he be giving a chance to be arrested alive and not killed upon his whereabouts, being known. He is a wanted man and my prayer is that he is safe with God, before men find him.

Dude, you are on the run. There is nowhere to hide. Social media has changed the way a man is hunted and you best get your affairs in order, before you are found. Your face is everywhere. Every country, is looking for you. Where can you hide? How long can you run? Time for a come to Jesus meeting...now, before it is too late.

rolling in the deep...

This is Pastor Doug. Don't be fooled by his nice, old man looks - he is a firecracker. I am glad my kids go to a church where the pastor has a firm grip and a loose tongue. Over the years, we have heard many, many PD Stories. On Palm Sunday, he told about being arrested and serving time for selling drugs to Filipino drug lords. One of the regular worship leaders is Doug's friend, played with the Steve Miller band. He knows people that he looks like, he wouldn't know.

After many sermons, you get a feel for people. He has a wicked sense of humor. He is honest, maybe too much so. I can see where you might take him wrong. He is upfront about what he will eat if you have him over for dinner. The suit and tie thing isn't really him but it was Easter and he is from that generation were when Easter is on the calendar, you take it up a notch.

In my short Jesus career, I have heard my share of preachers. I also, have favorites. Like music, some were one-hit wonders and others like PD, has earn my over and over again, interest. Not one to sugar-coat what it is, the Jesus he shares is the one, I know and love. Next time I see PD, he will be back in his jeans, and we will both be a whole more comfortable, the way it should be...

day 79...

July 7, 2012 is quickly approaching and it is time to start all the paperwork.

Last week we started on his company pension. It didn't take long to find out that a copy of my birth certificate would also be needed. I didn't have one. Thought I wouldn't need one until I retired. Misconception #1. I knew I was born in Lansing, Michigan and that my parents and grandparents left for sunny California, two weeks later. That would have meant traveling across the country in how many vehicles, with a two week old baby, the first week of December. They never talked about that trip but it must have been a doozy. Wish I had the sense to as. Everyone is gone now, no one to ask...

Which would have been helpful lst Friday when the phone rang at 803AM and it was a nice lady in Eaton County telling me, I wasn't born in Lansing and oh by the way, she was swiping my Visa card for $35.I sat in shock for a while but had Places to go and People to meet, so I pulled my my Big Girl Panties and moved on. Misconception#2.

Contacted the state of Michigan and they said if I was born anywhere in Michigan, Vital Chek would find me. As they swipped my Visa for $65, I started to have doubts about the whole thing. While Those People who raised me were certifibly insane, my grandparents weren't and I had heard my birth Story from them, many times. Now, it is just a matter of waiting.

Today, UPS said they are delivering mail that needs a signature from Vital Records. They usually come around 4PM, it is going to be a long day. It may or may not contain a birth certificate. The mystery may or may not, be solved. I am ready, no matter what. Not sure how to proceed if there is no certificate but feeling good that Miss Google will help. So until then, I will hold on to the retirement paperwork and wait. On a side note, last night we did the SS retirement online and that went much better. Patty Duke said it was quick and easy. Patty Duke wouldn't lie, that is just Somewhere I can't go today...

PS. Looks like I was born in Detroit. Life is good when you know you were born in Motown...

life is better with googles...

We don't have to see everything in crystal clear vision. Sometimes, in the middle of all things, normal - someone says, I need my googles!... and everyone agrees that is a fabulous idea and runs to grab their own.

Enough of life has to be seen in the dead of clarity. The news is in our faces, everyday. Bad news travels at least ten times as fast as good news. Somedays, we never get to the good news, too bad.

Think I will grab a pair of these for me. I could wear them while mowing the lawn, give the neighbors something to talk about but if they ask, I will tell them. Soon, the whole neighborhood will be wearing them. We will trend on Twitter and change the world.

Maybe I should start slow. Wait till they see me jump rope with the new jump rope I bought today. Not sure what I was thinking but will go slow, first with no goggles but look out - everything could change in an instant...

contentment...

If I really think about, how often am I content?


contentment (usually uncountable; plural contentments)
1.the state or degree of being contented  
2.happiness in one's situation; satisfaction
3.the neurophysiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation, body, and/or mind.

I disagree with the first part of point 2, agree with the satisfaction. Happiness doesn't have anything to do with being content. Being satisfied doesn't go hand in hand with being happy. Being content is a choice, being happy is spontaneous.
One must learn how to be content, happiness just comes naturally. No learning curve needed for being happy.

You really never know where your next happy is coming from. It could be a song on the radio, an unexpected piece of mail,or an unsolicted comment. It could be a sunrise or sunset, or a chocolate chip cookie. Whatever it looks like, the smile that starts to come across one's face and heart, is unstoppable. The warm, fuzzies take you on a ride, you didn't see coming. There is euphoric in happy. There is none of that in being content. Learning to be content is an art form. To be happy, all you have to do is be human.

So back to the question, how often am I content? More often than I give myself credit for. The winds of life blow me around. I may bend and it may appear I am ready to snap but I pray my root system is strong enough to allow the fluidness of life to take me down to the ground and wait to spring back up. That is Something we all have to learn and to be content with that is just the way it is...

there is always, one...

one who will,

want to break away from the herd,
not follow instructions,
find fault,
is a one-man show,
take the low road,
lie, cheat and steal,
can't get along with others,
marches to the beat of their own drum,
will do the unthinkable,
good and bad.
there is always one, who will hide their face.

You will never get 100% participation,
in any event.
If you do,
someone is lying.
It is my personal theory that at any given time,
20% of people will do things, you never imagined.
Sometimes, they smile,
other times, they will hide their face.

It is just the way we are,
it is the way we roll,
that one, always shows up. Always.

seven...

seven...if you have to go to school, at least you have your Birthday Lunch fairy bring you the goods. Happy Birthday Miss M! love you to infinity and beyond...

buy 1, get 2 free...

Pay attention.
Whether in church or Real Life.
Don't send money to anyone, even if they say they are your grandkids and don't want their parents to know.

Pay attention.
if something says buy 1, get 2 free. There is Something, really wrong.
It is true, that the best things in life are free,
everything else, you need to pay attention.

The brain God gave you, works pretty good.
Circumstances of life, sometimes derail our use of that brain.
It is not the brain's fault, it is ours.
If you use the wrong body parts to think with,
that is what happens.

When you want Something so bad, and decide to pull the trigger,
you used your heart instead of your brain.
Buy 1 and get 2 free is not targeted to your brain,
it makes no sense.

Your life may no always make sense,
but do your part.
That is the best you can do,
and learn to live, with the rest...

It's mine, back off...

We all know the feeling. Not our best feature. Emotion is part of this built in protection.It has such a caveman quality to it. Whether things, people, ideas, property, it all feels the same. The panic, the sorrow the mere idea of loss - is seen as unfathomable.

Some times we are able to think through and come up with a compromise or an all out, give away. We push past through the primitive need to hold on, and see the bigger need to share as valid and doable. There are times when we decide to pull up our Big Girl Panties and do the right thing... and then, change our mind. WE WANT IT BACK! And, we want it now.

Being mine will always be a journey, never a destination. It will always be a struggle, it will always feel wrong and we will always fall back into our human ways. When we get journey and destination mixed up, we do ourselves a disservice. Do yourself a favor and learn to tell the difference and plan accordingly...

to know...

To know you are loved is the greatest feeling in the world. It doesn't have to be a big deal, take a lot of effert or cost an arm and a leg. It simply boils down to paying attention to someone. Spending time playing together, listening to someone or doing an unforeseen, random act of kindness. It is way easier to do it to someone who makes you swoon, whose hugs and kisses mean the world. When done to a complete stranger, it looks different but the feeling is the same.

The feeling that goes straight to your heart. It is completely involuntary and you just can't help but smile. It is the connection that we all crave and for that Moment, we feel alive. We feel alive and well. All is right with the world. The only right thing to do is go out and do it for someone else. Go spread some love and see if it doesn't feel, Oh So Good!...

seven...

The weekend was a whirlwind. Starting on Friday, we have had seven main events going on. Easter weekend, the start of soccer and an early celebration of one wonderful little seven year old. Every time we turned around, there was a Pile of Something to pick up for the next event and scurry out the door. We left nothing, undone.

My computer runneth over with photos, there wasn't much time to do anything to them but go through them, organize and cut the ones from the herd, who aren't going to make it. As I was sorting them, I was conscious of the emotion that came with each group. Gage's hair during soccer season. Grandma Sue with her rabbit ears, standing next to her grown son. The happy look on my grand girl's face when she opens her new American Doll. The silent ones, like Jesus on the cross at No Greater Love. Gigi, our shared grandmother who hates to have her picture taken, not noticing my camera. The boys laughing, the guy in church who sat intent as he heard the Easter message at church, and this one with Gage sharing Draw Something on the iPad with Aunt Bebe.

There usually is a designated picture taker for every family. If you don't have one, be one. Someone who always shows up with some kind of camera. Don't worry about getting anyone to look at you, just start shooting. You will be amazed at what you get and the memories you are making, are beyond priceless.

I heard yesterday that the guy who won the Masters Golf thing has never had a golf lesson. Never. This one was shot with a P&S camera. You can do this, start now...

easter...

It is early in the morning, sleep is in short supply.

Soon, there will a church service. Then a family dinner and Easter baskets. This year, we will also be celebrating a birthday. Much going on, like every Easter. The boys and I spent last night at a local Easter pageant, No Greater Love. We know the Story yet Gage had many, many detailed questions. He was trying to put together what he knew with what he was seeing. He wanted a timeline From Palm Sunday to Easter. He wanted to know about BC and AD. His favorite part was not the soldiers dragging Jesus away, like I would have imagined or the thunder and lightning as the son of God was dying on the cross. His favorite part was when Jesus, so brillantly played by Dave Mangum, arose to heaven.

NGL celebrates it 33rd year of production. Dave Mangum has been these for every one of them. I didn't read the program until I got home but this year, is his last. I am so glad we went this year, it will never be the same without him. It is always feels weird when you see him about town, like at the grocery store. Once I saw him get out of his car, a Grand Am. We owned the same kind of car and I remember smiling to myself, thinking I own the same car as Jesus!

33 years. I think it is no coincidence that Dave chose to retire. The time had come. Thank you Dave for all your years of being Jesus in human form to us. Jesus, thank you for being in human form, for us...

walking each other home...

We're all just walking each other home. Anne Lamott.

While the age old Story of Easter never changes year to year, our lives do. Some Easter are more memorable for reasons ranging from incredibly wonderful to extremely terrible. Whatever is going in our lives, reflects at each holiday and that is the way we remember them. Like it or not, that is just Real Life.

The first many years of Easter, were all about the bunny, No church, no dinners, just the bunny. When that is all you have, it is a Big Deal. Later on, I would understand what I imagined church people did on Easter and was pleasantly surprised that the Easter Bunny was still included. You can imagine my onw personal surprise when the year we started the church, I was the Easter Bunny. That elation would quickly turn as I realized how many little kids were deathly afraid of my beloved Easter Bunny.

Have had the opportunity to do quite a bit of reflection this week. Of those who are in my life,and of those things that are touching my every day. The boys and I are going to No Great Love Saturday night. An local Easter pageant where the man who plays Jesus has done so for some 30 years. He works out year around for the Moment on the cross. We know the story, yet to see it played out, we walk away with Something New every year because we are in a different place every year.

Whereever you find yourself this Easter, I hope that a piece of wonderfulness comes your way. That your heart is full and happy. Happy Easter...

shadow...

What is shadowing you these days?
What is following you around, wherever you go?
What are you trying to shake, but can't?

When I saw this photo, it reminded me that there is always Something, behind us. Need proof, here it is. People follows us for different reasons and different lengths of time, depending on the the relationship. Now that we have Facebook and Twitter, following someone takes on a whole new meaning.

Why do we follow someone?
Why does someone follow us?

You don't always get to decide who follows you. In extreme cases, it is outright dangerous. Wish our never-changing shadow could give some guidance. Whether our past, people, thoughts or situations are on our tail, we maybe can't change them but we can change ourselves. Remember, we are the leader. The one, out in front. We are deciding where to go and how to get there, all they can do is follow. We keep going, no matter what. Let the shadows do what they may. This is about us, they are mere shadows...

shoot...

In basketball, we all know that we don't score everytime we shoot. We hope to score but don't think it is a given. We continue to shoot, no matter what the scoreboard says. Over and over for four quarters, everytime we get a chance we take the shot and we just keep going. We take the shots and let the scoring take care, of itself.

Real Life should be played exactly the same way. We should shoot over and over and over again, and let the scoring take care of itself yet we don't. We freeze. Scared to miss, scared not to score, we play it safe. we hold back, thinking if we don't make it, it is over. We could go days without taking a shot and it could seem, perfectly normal.

We need to play Life like basketball. We need to shoot, no matter what. We need to steal the ball, take the shot and get ready to do it all over again. How different would your life look? Mine would be insanely, crazy good...

domestic violence...

Palm Sunday. This week, those who hailed Jesus with palm branches at the beginning of the week, will call for his death in a few days. Everything will change, even though no fault will be proved. This week we hear again the Story, that makes little sense, yet will change the course of world events and in the end, will have an outcome that no one could have predicted. The last Supper, the betrayal of Jesus by Judas, Pilate admitting he finds no fault. Those who waved palm branches a few days earlier are now calling for his crucifiction, his death. Good Friday to Easter Sunday, the Story will be told for over 2000 years yet many, will turn away. This morning, three asked for Jesus to come into their lives, for the first time. When we think of domestic violence today, a different picture comes to mind. A proper definition would seem to include the turning against those we purpose to love, and take it upon ourselves to beat them, sometimes to death. It would seem that history repeats itself, again and again. This is the week, we look at ourselves and say why and then we remember Jesus's words - Not if but When...