making sense of faith...

The idea is that faith makes sense in the context of some other pursuit...If we think we are going to grow in faith by sitting around at a Bible study, we are wrong. That stuff is fine, but without a story, without diving into something really difficult, something that requires us to look to God for support and wisdom and comfort, it will be more difficult to become a person of great faithDonald Miller


My faith came to me in a instant. From zero to a gazallion, just like that. Don't remember asking for more faith because I was too busy asking questions but I must have. Never received any worthy answers sitting around at a bible study. If anything, that probably hurt my faith way more than it ever helped. All my doubts, all my questions - in a instant were gone. These days, I'm not much of a questioner of God. I was taught that God has a perfect plan for your life, if you choose it. If you don't, there is a second one but it is not as good - had you only picked better! That ship sailed in the Garden and this world we live in has some of the more horrible Stories, we each know our share of them. I have read that if you don't scream and yell at God, every once in a while, you are not a Real believer, and in my opinion, that is horsecrap. Every experience is different, every journey has its own trail. The worse stuff that has every happened to me, happened long before I had any kind of faith and I didn't question or beg God then. We always have the choice to walk away, no questions asked.

Need faith? Be ready to have it come at you from the most unlikely of places and until is does, relax - He knows. Just like love, don't go looking for it in all the wrong places...

demise ...

Is there not enough paper in your life? Why are we wringing our hands about the demise of paper as the economic gating factor for ideas? In fact, some of the trees I know are delighted that we've found a better, faster, cheaper way to spread ideas.

If the demise of paper means that good people doing good work in important industries will have to find faster and better ways to do their jobs, I don't think that's a bad thing. Seth Godin

Everyday I am reminded that we live is a world that at its core, is a dicotomy by nature, What is coming out of our mouths is the exact opposite of what we want. We can't help ourselves, whether politics, church or family...we will do anything to perserve our ideal, no matter what. Change or demise are usually persieved as fighting words.

MSNBC reported this week that since Amazon reduced the price of their Kindle, ebooks sales have surpassed paper sales. Less than 2 weeks. With the speed of change in our world, history is being rewritten every day. What was not only viable but seemingly bulletproof is gone...in a instant. I admit since I got the iPad, the thoughts of a laptop has left my brain. I am no longer compelled and drawn to the computer section at Best Buy, the Pad has fulfilled my every need. My new mantra is, there must be an app for thatbut as in every genre of life, there will always be some, who for many different reasons will fight and try to keep the status quo. God love em, they can't help themselves anymore than I can keep myself from diving in head first.

We made the switch from a paper newspaper to a digital world. There were a few bumps and bruises for DH but he has a Favorites folder filled with more comics than he could ever read so all is well. I am no tree hugger but how many trees does it take to keep us supplied with paper when we could do most of it without as much as one tree. I like a bookcase full of books as well as the next guy but really, isn't it time to let our intense need go and give the paper back to the trees?

What else will we have to give up or will die a quick death in the future? The future seems to come quicker and quicker. Read last week than in less than 5 years, you will no longer feel a needle going into your arm, the micro needle is on its way. We have and will continue to see the demise of many more things at a much more rapid pace. What are you holding today that may be gone tomorrow or that you will be using in a completely different way? Not sure but imagine that it will be more and faster than what we expect and I don't want to miss a thing...

live a better Story...

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

I have Story written all over me. The ones I have shared and the ones, I haven't
(lucky you!). My Story is filled with crazy people and unbelievable tales that you couldn't imagine to be true, if you hadn't lived them first hand. My friend, on the other hand, doesn't think her Story is worth telling. Normal parents and a pretty good childhood, she hasn't discovered that developing her Story would be good for her and those around her.

So, how do we both learn to develop our Stories and share with the world? I am thinking that ying and yang could benefit from a bit of help and that help could come in the form of Portland's Donald Miller. Could we learn it Somewhere else? Of course we could .... but just maybe, together - we can come back and by telling a better Story, we could change our worlds.

That is all we really have to offer each other, the truth that we are all in the same boat in the same ocean. Some Stories may seem more exciting or scary, but the truth is - our journey's are more alike than they are different.

Will I promise to come home and start booking seminars on, How I Went To See Donald Miller And I Will Never Be The Same? No, but I do promise to come back and live a better My Story and I imagine that Mrs Dean will do the same.

PS. A few years back, Mrs Dean handed me a book and said, You will either hate it or love it - but this is you. The book was Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Enlightment came in an instant and that is what I want for her. Thanks for the opportunity!

PS2. Mrs D, pack a bag just in case. If we can't get to Oklahoma and Pioneer Woman - maybe we will have a chance with Portland and the BLZ guy!

the Twins...

It is not often that one has someone who will not only dance with them at Walmart but will dip them as often as they ask...

The twins, that is what they call themselves. Not only do they look and act alike, they are pretty much in sync with each other. He still tries to take her down but she is so good holding her own. He loves her so and when it is going well...it is a beautiful thing.

My sister and I could not be more different on the inside but if you saw her, you would think we were twins. 18 months and a whole different world between us. People use to ask our parents if we were twins when we were little, if you were in a room with both of us for 2 minutes, you would see how untwin we really are.

My dad use to say there are 9 people in the world who look so much like you that parents would not be able to tell the 9 of us apart. Before my sister moved back here, I had been asked more than once if I was related to So and So, always the same women. Hope to run into her one day and see for myself what they are all seeing.

For now, I will live the twin life vicariusly thru Keaton and Morgan...now. if I could just find someone to dip me at Walmart, my life would be complete...

burn out...

Consider myself burnt. Crispy.

You see, the church is comprised of several groups of people. Some are in search of God. Some are in search of community. Some are in search of healing. Some would appear to be there to tell you all the things you’re doing wrong. It’s comprised of broken people who need care. Not everyone of course. Many have turned in their bibs long ago and have totted aprons ever since, but some will need, need, need. As hard as I try, I cannot separate the empathy gifting/cursing I’ve been given from my own attitude. I wear the weight of other people on my shoulders and sometimes it just gets too heavy.

If these words ring a bit true in your ears, you know where he is coming from. He will tell you that he knew all about being burnt out and fell in the trap anyway.

Who hasn't been there is some way or some Season of their lives? Burnt to a crisp - most certainly have been there. It is also called at the end of your rope. Nowhere else to run or hide. Like a dead-end street. Time to face the music and admit, you need a map.

Can't get that quote of my head..or the theory. All we do, think, are is wrapped up in trying to be a good person, as best we can without too much inconvenience. If in convenience is not a problem, then we are getting some pretty good jollys from all the doing, thinking and being and, that is a whole other problem.

If you have been in this guy's shoes, would you say a pray for him? If you have ever experienced the wrath of burn out, say a prayer for yourself. You see, when we are down is when we have the opportunity to learn the most. I want him to get that burnt smell out of his head and begin to be able to smell the roses again. I want the same thing for you and me too...

missed it by this much...

I love crop dusters and will follow them anywhere. As of last night, I have proved that I will follow them in 90 degree heat, with eggs and yogurt in the car.

Dh saw him first. He is frantically pointing and I am not seeing anything, Then, from behind the trees, here he comes. I jumped out of the car with my camera, thinking he was headed back my way. He wasn't.

DH drove and I was running down this unfamiliar country road, trying to figure out where he was going next. This is as close as I could get. He must have been at the end of his run. He slipped behind a cloud and never reappeared.

We did get to see him make some fantastic passes, low to the ground and as smooth as silk. This time would not be a picture perfect Moment. Wendy Aarons is so right - they are not all gems. Life is about, you get what you get and don't throw a fit. You don't always get to grab the golden ring, the sack isn't always filled with money. Sometimes, you miss the mark. One should always aim high but expect to miss the target, every once in a while.

The silver lining, the beauty of that plane. What a sight! Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater...how dumb would that be?

the mystery of a man...

and there are several, or many. We women can make a mountain of any, and I mean any, molehills. We smell fire long before there is any evidence of a potential burn. Life and things roll off their backs like water on a duck. Their relationships are way less complicated than us and while I don't like to admit it, some of their ways are better than ours.

Who but someone of the male species would think that while having a yard sale with gobs of strangers in your yard, this would be a good time to play a game? I must admit if yard sales were up to most men, there would be very few. We did see on on Friday, a lone man with man stuff out in his garage. Gage wanted to stop SO Badly but because it was men stuff, mommy - not so much. I do notice though, if it is a good sale and you are selling lots of stuff - they will go grab things off the walls to make this thing even more of a success but mainly, they are just passing time the best way they know how.

Sometimes, I think I have the ways of a man all figured out and then, mine goes and does something I never could have imagined like offering to trade his motorcycle for a 66 VW bug. Shocked me. You never know what they are thinking and it is that mystery that keeps us women intrigued. Lucky for them...

gone...

“The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give’ … are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell.

We talk about it, worry about it and hope it is never happens to us. In five days, Miss Preslee went from being a vibrant little girl, doing her thing on earth to being in heaven with Jesus, She fought bravely but in the end, could not overcome a canal accident.

As I heard the news Friday night that she was gone, it gave me a reason to pause. Little did I know that less than 12 hours later, we would experience our own little piece of terror.

Yard Sale on Saturday and it was going nicely. I turned and asked where Morgan was and we all jumped up expecting to find her, right there. she was not. Mommy, daddy and the boys jumped to their feet and started calling her name. There was a boat load of people there at the time and all I could do i stand there. I yelled at Poppa, who was in another part of the yard to go check her bed. The day before she thought she was in trouble and I had to look for her. Found her under the covers in her bed. Had I not had that memory, I would have been long past scared and pretty much moved on to crazy.

Minutes went by and no one could find her.

When do I call 911?
Which one of these strangers took her and how did we miss it?

All these things go through your head.

Why did we have to have a yard sale and let anyone into our yard?

They could not find her. I started to panic. Too much time had gone by. This is the day our lives would change forever. I continue to hear her name being called, over and over and over. A involuntary chill, runs through me. Morgan, Morgan, Morgan is all I hear...

Finally, We found her!!!She was hiding in her bed, She had accidentally broke a vase as a customer was making the purchase and she thought she was in trouble.

I can't remember being this scared for a long time. I thought about Preslee's parents and how they hoped they would get their girl back all safe and sound but it was not to be. I understand how they feel. While I can not grasp their pain, this quote is where they are standing and I must admit, nothing could be more true. Gone in an instant...Could be any of us, at any Moment. Where your heart is, that is where your treasure is...

fancy nancy...

Have felt my creativity ebb and flow this week so when I went to see my babies yesterday and Miss M was dressed to the nines, I had to know why and it was all about Fancy Nancy.

She ran and got her FN book and started my introduction. The thing about this Fancy Nancy character is that with a little bit of accessories, we girls are good to go. She realized her family was not like her, yet she spent some time getting them on her page.

I have learned during these dull and listless times, you just have to keep going. I no longer search for my mojo, rather I wait patiently, for it;s return. So far, it always comes back. When I realized the the true fear was that it would never return and that that fear was incorrect, there was a bit of breathing room. As fast as it disappeared, it reappeared on its own. Fancy Nancy helped me realize that true creativity is right around the corner and if I wear a sparkly scarf, beads and over sized shoes, the wait can be oh so delish...

claim to fame...

The 74-year-old woman who is suspected of dumping condiments in a library book return bin on multiple occasions was rearrested Monday Idaho Statesman.

We are talking putting mayonnaise on top of returned books in the big bin. She had been doing it for months. Mustard, ketchup - no condiment was immune from her wrath. Betting mental evaluation will not be much of a surprise.

Our claim to fames have been pretty subtle. Mostly potatoes until all the movie starts found skiing in Sun Valley to be fun. A recent Newsweek survey put a neighboring town Meridian, at 60 out of 600 and Idaho Falls at 90. The state capital and my city were nowhere to be found.

Closer to home, any claim to fame I might personally have, involved family and police so the tendency would be to downplay those events. Ths thing about these CTF is that our self esteem either invisibly inflates or deflates when they come along. That is a big wave to try to sail. The truth is you are your own person and while those close to you may influence that truth, it doesn't change it.

I imagine if this woman was my mother, grandmother, sister, or neighbor. Would I be singing the same tune? I hope so. I have been in family situations like this and worse but I was younger and completely overwhelmed. I hope I would be smarter now and make better choices which would include, just say no.

I wouldn't trade my life with anyone. I wouldn't have missed this ride, bumps and all for anything. You can't make this stuff up. It is the Real Deal and that is claim to fame enough for me.

summer, what up?

The 4th of July is over and so are four of our five summer birthdays. It was the same temperature when I got up as it will be when I go to bed. It is now the time for a long stretch of hot, followed by a unknown arrival of fall. If life was fair, we would have a long, long fall to make up for the poor excuse of summer that June was. Will have to wait and see.

My daughter informed me yesterday, we are moving to Naples, Florida. I understand her reasoning and am ready to go. Never having got use to winter, I am up for moving anywhere the snow don't blow. She has also told me it is very expensive and has been rather vague on our departure day. I am with her but I do need a bit of a heads up for planning and hammering out all the little details. That is just the way I roll...

In the event that a move is not imminent, must make contingency plans for staying. It is nice to dream, summer is the perfect time for it. Without all that other stuff in our heads, summer allows us to contemplate the what ifs of life at a greater depth than fall, winter or spring. Still on the Abraham thing, not all of it fabulous. It is difficult to accept your own flaws, Lord knows - I have had enought practice and should be excellent at it by now.

In the meantime, I will ready myself for the Naples experience...just in case and lap up all the sun I can. Summer, I love you so....

sacrifice...

In less than 12 hours, the Story or Abraham, has crossed my path twice. In Bill Maher's movie, Religuloushe asked how anyone of sound mind could believe that ever really happened. This morning, Pastor Doug asked the questions, was Jesus or Abraham being tested?

Abraham, God said.
Yes, answered Abraham, I'm listening.

Take your dear son Isaac whom you love and go to the land of Moriah. sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I'll point out to you. Genesis 22

I don't know about you but pretty sure, I am not that committed. From a purely sexist point of view, was there a reason that God tested a man instead of a woman...I digress. I have always said, I never would have been like Eve...I would have stayed away from THAT apple. Giving up my child as a sacrifice is something completely different.

I think we sugar coat God more than we would like to admit. We talk about God and Love but we are also told to fear Him. I have always thought of that kind of fear as respect not a cowering down. He says When, not If. Bad stuff is going to happen. You and me, we are going to be tested. Look around your life, I imagine you see it most every day. This is not the God we like to tell people about until they are rooted in their faith and sometimes, we don't want to talk about this side of God, at all.

Look Him straight in the face. He can take anything you can throw at Him. You do not have to defent Him to others. Simply pray, that God do to them, what He did for you. That is my prayer. For Bill Maher and a few others. It is powerful and I have no doubt will be answered. Tested doesn't feel so good but it is part of the package. Prepare to be included...

partied out!

We have been celebrating Keaton's 11th birthday for the last 2 days.Donuts, movie, Red Robin, water, kids, 2 cakes, family and friends. In between all that, we managed to pick up an electric guitar. When we left the party today, the therometer said 98 degrees. No wonder everyone seemed a little out of it.

The boy is growing up and the reality is, we have to grow up too. We have to grow with our kids. If we don't, it can be lethal. Tough words but if you have even seen what happens when a parent refuses to grow up, it is not a pretty sight.

Pretty sure I didn't learn it very well with my girl. By the time she got married, I had learned that while she will always be my daughter, she was now Chad's wife and if a marriage is going to work, it is about two people. Of course they bring their families with them but nobody understands what that means...for a while.

It is hard to watch your kids grow up but it is harder to grow up yourself. Want healthy kids? Learn it and learn it fast...

11 years ago today...

I became a nana for the first time. To be able to experience it 2 more times is still, incredible to me.

This little man took my heart captive and I have never been the same. I get that he is growing up and am trying not to embarrass him with my picture-taking. If anyone is around, I ask first. It is a good working relationship. He know that sometimes, he has to participate whether he wants to or not... like family pictures last weekend but he is still the wonderfully, happy boy he has always been.

Happy Birthday Keaton! I love you to infinity and beyond, love nana.

homeless in July...

It has been almost 8 months since I have seen a Salvation Army kettle yet the need never stops. A neighboring town is serving almost 40,000 lunches a day in numerous parks to anyone. We had them last year when they were right next to where we had swim lessons. A nice little meal, sometimes they even had a craft. I don't know where the funding comes from but I really don't care. It is the right thing to do.

Picking up a card for Keaton's birthday, a older woman had her cart blocking the isle and I said, Excuse me.She apologized and hurriedly tried to get her cart out of the way. No hurry, I said.

A few moments later, it was my turn to be in the way, As I apologized to her, without looking my way, she said, I am always in your way. As I watched the back of her head as she walked away, I knew this was a message and it wasn't from this little old lady.

While I haven't been ignoring the Big Man, his message was not lost on me. I am a planner and a realist. I know what can happen and how fast it can happen, be it good or not so good. I think I also can/do live in the Moment. This little message was just a little reminder to take my energy and focus it elsewhere. To get myself out of His Way and let him do His thing. He doesn't need me but He does allow me to take part in watching him work.

What a great God I have! Note to Him who has given me everything, You are never in my way. Thanks for the Love and bless the little messenger, Love zalaine.

Gigi...

Talked a bit about Gigi yesterday but as I was going through the family shoot from the 4th, I remember what it is about her that we all love.

She is my SIL's grandma, the kids's great-grandma and even though there is no blood between us, I love her so. She loves Cherry Coke and had to limit her intake because it was causing her health issues. The last 8 years have been tough on her. Her heart stopped at church and she was down for almost a 1/2 hour so when the paramedics brought her back, there was brain damage. She is mostly her sweet self with a few new quirks and she is always happy to see us, even though you are never sure if she knows who you are. There are times she is complete lucid and other times, when confusion is her constant companion. When her daughter asked if I would take some family photos on the 4th, it was an automatic, yes. You see, one thing Gigi does not like and usually will not cooperate, is when it comes to having her picture taken. I always try to sneak in a picture or tow at family functions and she is almost as good at dodging me as Gage is. This day, she was as cooperative as she could be. Family and combination of families, picture after picture, she stayed right with us. Her health is failing and I am so glad we got some memories for her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren...and me. I kept a picture for myself.

imitation...

Kids imitate everything. Everything that comes across their paths. Last week I shared my Old Spice video with the gk and Keaton has already memorized some of it. Not only do they imitate but they use the same dialect, or dress up to play the part.

I know we all now this. We watch our language, tell Stories that need to stay in the family, quiet but there is a whole lot that gets pass that gate. It is virtually impossible to live one kind of life on the outside and another on the inside and even more impossible to do it thru an entire child's childhood. Live the life you want your kids to see and the rest will take care of itself. You can't protect them from the world but you can give them the tools to take with them when the leave thru the front door.

Don't be upset when they do imitate you. I knew someone who would be highly offended if imitated. Seems like a very selfish thing to do. Never having anyone in my life that I want to imitate, seems like it might have been nice... to have someone, something to strive for.

Kids are going to imitate, no matter what. The only thing you get to choose is what you put out there...

Fourth of July...

The 4th of July is a mixture of the present and the past. It is a day that you could never fully explain to a person of another country. They would get the love of one's country but the 4th is so much more, the way we celebrate it.

We had a fabulous weekend. The parade on Saturday, then full board on Sunday. Family, fireworks and much fun. As I saw and watched the Big People filling water balloons, I took some family shots for the extended family. It was the right time, some of the families are in transition and for the our family matriarch, Gigi,the family matriarch she has cheated death more than once and we are just happy to have her here with us now.

The day ended as most 4th's do, with fireworks. I tried some new recipes for getting the shots I wanted (thank you Miss Katrina!) and was so kindly rewarded with a palm tree to soothe the California Girl in me. What a day!

Happy Birthday America!

Happy 4th of July to all of you. May you make great memories and love being together. Love you all! zalaine

Hello Ladies How are you? Fantastic...

I have watched this 10 times and it still makes me laugh outloud. He is right about everything on so many levels. Still giggling.

Does your man look like me, no
Can he smell like me, yes

Your man is yours, you picked him, He must have looked good at the time. However many years you have been Down The Road with him by now, not only his smell but a few other things have probably started to change. The truth is we all change over a period of years and, not always for the good. I would even venture to say that women change more than men. Women look at the world for a very romantic viewpoint, sometimes thinking they can change a man, the world and more. Quite frankly, we had expectations for our men and possibly, that didn't turn out quite like we imagined.

Wherever you are with your man today, I hope this makes you laugh and see him in a little different light. As for me, I will absolutely know the next right man for me. He will come up to me and say, Hello Lady. How are you? Fantastic...

focus...

"Focus" Title Package from North Point Media on Vimeo.

My friend Cheryl has her daughter's wedding coming up in a few weeks. I can remember being in her shoes. Every thought was wedding-related and since sleep was no longer on my radar, that was a 24/7 thought. Some thoughts have a natural shelf life and leave on their own. Once you order cake, flowers, food and music - that part is done and you go on to the next phase. No longer worried about who and how much, you move on with the same cast of characters to them showing up and in one piece.

The nature of focus for us is as varied as color of cars. From one extreme to the next, the who, what, where and why of focus is one place where we can't agree. Our experiences and perceptions make how we each focus, a game all our own.

Wish I was more well-rounded in this area but when I get in lock down mode, my brain acts just like the video. With my mind racing, sleep is no longer a option or consideration. I get in these modes that have a life of their own and I am at their mercy until they have run their natural course, which is usually, sunrise.

I offered Cheryl a bit of advice, Take a few days off after the wedding for yourself. It was good advice given to me and I hope she can, however that may look to her. Time to get off the mind treadmill, give the thought fairies a rest. Enjoy the quiet while it lasts...

invention...

Imagine never having to imagine... ( Click below to see first video)





These are the things that we humans have dreamed up...using the brains God gave us. Sometimes for good, and sometimes for bad but mostly and the largest category is everything in between which it seems, is where we excel.

The iPad, velcro, sticky notes, the crescent rod...these were our crowning achievements. These made all of us proud. Proud and clever. Let's not even go close to the bad stuff. You know what they are. Many can be seen on late night cable TV channels. Enough said.

The in between is where most of our inventions fall. They are ok, maybe even good. They seem to help us in the short run but in a few years no one remembers Hot Fudge Pop Tarts. Pick up a 5 year old magazine and look at the ads - what are we still using? what have you not thought about since and what have you forgotten about completely? We are a short term people. If it is not in front of us and we are using it daily, we will forget and move on. Not by intention but by nature.

Ipad and velcro, seems a bit scary especially if you have heard Pioneer's Woman iPad story but...there is a trust factor and once we trust, we seem to be a very committed sort..at least for a little while...

crescent rod...

Bathroom remodel is now done. Plumbing and flooring done today. Since we had shower doors and wanted to go with a shower curtain, I headed out to BBand B to grab a curtain rod like the one in our other little bathroom. Brought it home and thought we were all ready to go. I had looked at the curved shower rod, used in finest hotels worldwide and decided, we probably didn't need it. Little bathroom, triple the price of a regular shower rod...no thank you.

The plumber talked DH in to trying one so I headed back, not convinced it was all it was cracked up to be and bothered DH to try it in the little bathroom so I could take it back and basically tell the plumber, he was wrong.

Guess what! One shower and I was sold. We had to go buy another one for the new bathtub. It is like night and day now, taking a shower. I can't believe how much more room there is and how much I needed this.

In Pastor Pete's late night tweet, he was talking about one of the things we need for spiritual growth is, to know when to remember and when to forget. Thinking there is great wisdom in that statement and somehow, the shower curtain for me, is all a part of it. Remembering and forgetting - what a dichotomy for the mind. Must dwell here for a while..and in the shower.

summer Sabbath...

Blog hopping the other night, had no idea where I was but where I was, didn't expect what I saw. A woman talking about summer, and after a paragraph or so she said, summer is my sabbath. It immediately made the Big Bell go off in my head.

That is how I feel about summer. It is a rest from the now only the snow, rain and dark but A time to renew, take in the warm and hang out in my mind. Another piece of the Big Picture, just waiting to be found. I am a lucky girl.

I started thinking about Growler, my paternal grandfather. Not particular a warm and fuzzy person, there were some horror Stories about his style of parenting and husbanding. Grandma was a Baptist all her grown life - Grandpa was not.. At least not until he was in his early 70's. Then he was a man on fire. He never called us by our names, both my sister and I were always, always Susie Bell. I didn't think he knew our names but since I was named after his sister, I imagine he really did. I loved with him and Grandma for a few years growing up when my mother was not able to care for me. I was well fed by Grandma but Grandpa, not so much. He use to say if you went fishing and you took a wife and children, it wasn't fishing, it was a picnic. At least he was honest. His youngest child was born when his oldest was away at war so I assumed he thought the kids would never go away. He lived into his nineties and surprisingly passed after Grandma of what they say was a broken heart. I am so much like her, 50% motherly and 50% bossy...and we both loved to cook.

The one thing Growler did say after his conversion was he didn't understand how God reached in the middle of all the nasty in our life and why we turned to God. He amazed him that hearts could be softened when it seemed impossible to his human mind. He had seen it all before he found Jesus, or so he thought. He couldn't undo the past but he did have almost 25 more years to ponder the life he had. Wonder what he would think of Keaton, Gage and Morgan? I think he would smile and go to ball games and ballet recitals.

The things you think about in summer when your brain is all wet,warm and sunny. Summer Sabbath, I love you and can't wait for more...

rowdy....

When I think of the word rowdy, a certain stereotype comes to mind. After spending a few minutes with this one, you understand why. He is a little bit of fireworks and with a bat in his hand, the other team's coach tell everyone to get back. Imagine a 3 foot powerhouse with attitude.

Riotous
Brawler
Rough
Disorderly
Boisterous

If you know someone who is of this persuasion, your first impression is either 0 or 10. Not too much wiggle room. You either can appreciate their rowdiness or you find it distasteful. I had to download the fart piano app for my iPad, so you can't go by my judgement.

What I can tell you is that Rowdy's parents are my kind of people, Honest and proud. As I watched Gage sitting next to Rowdy, I thought, This is a perfect Moment. Boys, baseball, a warm early Saturday morning and the Truth. What more could anyone ask for?

So all things being equal,what would I put on Gage's shirt if I was his momma and daddy? While many, many things come to mind - I keep going back to wondering if the t-shirt shop still has the template. I would be so proud...

passion...

Think about Something that you are passionate about... and only those. You will mentally eliminate most options and be left with a scarce few. Now, examine those passions and see how you feel about them. Imagining very strong feelings mixed with a sense that all should see how important your passion is.

My sense is that by the time something becomes a passion, we may very well be on our way to a major unbalance in our lives. We all have them, my perception is that we also, give them permission to go crazy. Can the human mind be passionate and reasonable at the same time? Not sure I can or have or will. By uplifting a cause, idea or most anything to passion-status, we take it to a realm where magic is king.

I am singing to the choir here, people. None of us are immune and we all have the capability and even the responsibility to take our passions and make them work for us not against us. If your passion is all inclusive to everything in your life, time to back up. If all your time, attention and waking Moments are tied in with your passion, time to look at bit closer to why and, how to put out some of the heat. Don't let anything take you away but Calgon...

where have I been?

The bathroom remodel started yesterday. Wish we could have had a Repair Party but that was not possible. With a crack about 2 inches from the drain,and potential water damage, it had to be replaced and FYI, insurance only covers a sudden flood situations.

Yesterday was Demo and Install Day. Today is Sheetrock and Floor Day. Tomorrow Paint Day. It's a small bathroom, a relatively in and out job with very minor inconvenience...except at night when one has to cross the vast expanse of 1200 square feet to make many nighttime potty runs.

The contractor pointed out that the shower spout had been installed at the wrong end when the house was built and he would switch it to the other side, making it right. I looked at the shower head opening, now even with the toilet placement. Hum, checked the other bathroom and it was right. Confusing but the first thing I thought of was, how long is it going to take to get use to the change? Seriously, it bothered me for most of the day...until I saw the tub in place and it reminded me of the other bathroom and I felt, right at home.

Now, breathing more regularly again, I wonder why in the last 11 years and 6 months, I never once noticed, it going the wrong way. How could that be? Day in and day out, one is in the bathroom, doing something. What scares me is what else am I missing? Something that is right under my very nose, something that could change my whole perspective, if I was aware. Funny, how perspective comes and goes. Never ceases to amaze me, what amazes me. While I started a bit inflexible, and ended up very pliable, very pliable indeed...

view from the top...

When I am in the Moment and I realize it is all about perspective, while it feels like 3 steps backwards and 2 forward - it's really the opposite but it will be a lesson that will have to be learned, again and again.

Got the idea to shoot toward the sky yesterday and my girl was a most willing participant...for a Moment. It gives me a view of another side of her. With the sky and the sun in the backgroud, it gives me a different look at a very familiar, wonderful little face. What if I took my Big Girl view of life and put it in this perspective? Would it change my life?

After taking this shot, I chose to shoot close to the ground for the rest of the picnic. From the ground up where baby Grace who just turned one sees to a step up to the preschooler's perspective a few inches higher. It was a wonderful experience to look around and see what I am missing when always looking from my Big Girl vantage point. It's kinda fun from down here, the world looks bigger and not so scary. If you are looking for me and can't find me, look down...

alumni...

You could never as much as stepped into any kind of school to be an alumni. We have all graduated from the School Of Hard Knocks at some time in our lives. You might be an alumni in voluntarily, like having a sick child or losing a job.

Alumni reminds me of trying to go back Home, on steroids. Most educational alumni that care too, stay connected to their college roots. I am an alumni in the Weight Watchers club. Got to my goal weight after losing 90 some pounds but never went back to socialize or chit chat. If I decided to ever go back, it would be a whole new group of people, nothing much to stay connected to. A whole new world.

When I think about the places that I am an alumni, it is a mixed bag. The summer of 1969, growing up in California and having an only child (you would be surprised). Gage is just starting. This is his first alumni event and he had a ball. While there were some of the kids who he went to preschool with that have siblings graduating this year, most are new. He was like the Pied Piper at the school picnic today - the girls were haning all over him and Tristan wants to be him. He loved every minute of it.

He still loves Miss Brandi and Miss Shelli and probably will for a long time. While we don't have any other kids to send to the preschool, we will inviting the ladies to our holiday, My Favorite Things party and he will get to see them then.

Maybe you can't go back Home but Sometimes, it sure feels like it...

one more day...

and it will officially be summer. Miss M will graduate with the Class of 2010 on Wednesday. In a few hours, we will celebrate Father's Day. Poppa, Miss M and I will spend some quality time together in the afternoon while the boys are being surprised with tickets to the Star Wars concert.

There is just Something about the warm, long days that are not only good for growing our food but our souls too. We shed clothing and eat enormous amounts of popsicles. Strawberry Lemonade sounds heavenly and the smell of BBQ...That alone, makes me smile.

Can't prove it but also think our attentions spans are shorter. The shiny is easier to see because of all the sun and we get distracted. If you like to take pictures, there are visions of sunflare dancing in your head.

Short, sweet... nothing like it.

good enough...

While sitting thru a 45 minute presentation about why it was imperative to choose his product for our bathroom, I had time to think about several other things. It was easy to do as he explained page by page not only what his company was prepared to do but what the others who would bid our job would exactly offer.

On of the things that went through my mind as I was being told that his company was the way to go because they had just expanded into Belgium, I thought about my inlaws who were about 10 years older than we are, sat at their dining room table listening to a salesman convince them that they needed a new kitchen. As I explained to the nice man, retirement in a 1 1/2 was a big consideration. We want to go into it with no debt or as little as possible. The second concern was the value of our house and quite frankly, putting in more than lipstick on a pig. The difference between my inlaws and ourselves is we understand the concept of not over compensating the details of our home without going overboard, inlaws did not. Their value came from the remodel. They though it would elevate their home and in turn, them. They had no savings and had to pay for the remodel from their monthly SS benefit. When they passed away a few years later, they owed more on their home than what they originally paid for it.

I have this same feeling about photography. I think everyone should have a nice family photograph every year. One they can afford, watch their kids grow and the know exactly when those gray hairs started showing up. Have noticed that most photographers websites when it comes to talking dollars and sense, the tab is called investment. Here's the deal - every other person has a nice camera now. I know more struggling photographers than ones who can make a living at it because of this. What is the difference between a nice family photo and a FABULOUS one? A few thousand dollars or more. What is good enough? Where do we need to invest in our lives and where do we need to live with good enough?

Finally at about minute 35, the super, duper salesman gets down to the investment part of our bathroom repair. Bottom line, finally, is his is 3 times the amount of our other quote. Does he have a better product? I imagine so. Does he have a better warranty? Yes, if the company is around in 10 years and not just in Belgium. Is this the place to make an investment or to chose good enough? When he sensed our reluctance, he took off all the extras (soap dish - we haven't used bar soap in years) and got his price to just over double and if we signed up on the spot - before he left, we would get an extra 10% off. Not chunk change when you are dealing with remodeling costs.

We told him we would get back to him by Friday and DH will. We have decided to go for good enough this time. To invest in this project doesn't feel right. He must have sensed that good enough would be our choice, his parting shot was, Make the right decision, folks. I am confident, we did that very thing...

working for you...

"This better work"
... is probably the opposite of, "this might work."

"This better work," is the thinking of safety, of proven, of beyond blame.

"This might work," on the other hand, is the thinking of art, innovation and insight.
Seth Godin

This spoke to me because I have been on both sides. These words and more importantly, attitudes have been prevalent in my life for many different reasons but if I really think about it - TMW has got me further than TBW.

Taking it one step further, there is a whole body/mind shift attached to each camp. One has a stifling, accusing, youbettergetthisright mode and the other, allows for failure as growth. If you apply this to only a few areas in your life, you can immediately see how, depending on which camp you subscribe to.

I find that just a slight change in perception can make my day go from dark to light...and visa verse which the only change being, my perception. Where does perception come from? It can come from outside or inside sources. It can come from a comment or a thought. An image or piece of artwork. A song, can take you to anywhere you have ever been, be it good or not so good.

Perception is not always honest yet we give it the power of pure truth. Our mood can go from A to Z in a heartbeat. This week I have surprised myself but not going into a big hissy fit. Our shower has a crack that can not be fixed and must be replaced. Insurance will not cover any of the cost. If only the toilet had overflowed and cracked the tub. Sudden water damage would have been covered, imagine that. We are less than 1 1/2 from retirement mode and this added expense will put us back a bit. My MO is to go ballistic, ranting and raving as I go and perceiving like Chicken Little, that the sky is falling. Maybe I am growing up but I am ready to get it done and move on. What will be, will be.

And that... is working for me. Perception has made all the difference this week. Wow, shine a light indeed.

judging...

Knowing that his beloved, @kerrching, really wanted an iPad for her birthday, Magdalinski reached out to some friends in London who were not only able to get him an iPad (it’s not yet available in South Africa), but were also able to coat it and freeze it in chocoalte. Stefan Magdalinski is now the front-runner in the “Guy of the Year” award for buying his wife a chocolate-covered iPad for her birthday, which he managed to get sent to South Africa. Mashable

This just made me smile. Only a man would consider doing this and to go to this extreme for his woman, well, he could give lessons. So, I am basking in the Moment and enjoying the view. Loving Mr Stefan and actually have him up their on a Man -Pedestal when I am blog hopping, find Donald Miller's blog and find myself back to reality...

Now black and white thinkers are going to take this to an extreme and believe I am saying we should endorse any kind of bad behavior, but I’m not saying anything close to that at all. What I’m saying is we should stop thinking less of people and be better listeners. My guess is it will be very, very difficult, but I also think people are going to trust you more, be more open, and even invite you to give them some guidance about their decisions. Another thing that will happen is, by not judging them, you are ushering them into the extreme fear because THEY are responsible for their own actions, and you aren’t taking any ownership. You are just going to be their friend and want the best for them…. Donald Miller

Darn that Donald Miller anyway! Doesn't his calendar tell him it's summer and the living is suppose to be easy? The only reason this bothers me is that he is more than right and his challenge by his own admission, will be difficult but in the end, one could learn a whole lot about themselves.

Will you try an experiment with me. Will you open your calendar or your i-phone calendar and give a month to not judging. Seriously, just pick a date about 30 days from now and set an alarm saying you can judge people again, but until then, refrain from thinking less of anybody for any reason.

Calendar is marked for 30 days, here we go...

one day...

MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET is the new smash-hit musical inspired by the famed recording session that brought together rock 'n' roll icons Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins for the first and only time.

On December 4, 1956, these four young musicians gathered at Sun Records in Memphis for what would be one of the greatest jam sessions ever. MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET brings that legendary night to life, featuring a score of rock hits including "Blue Suede Shoes," "Fever," "That's All Right," "Sixteen Tons," "Great Balls of Fire," "Walk the Line," "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On," "Who Do You Love?," "Matchbox," "Folsom Prison Blues," "Hound Dog" and more MDQ.com

Caught these guys on the Tony awards tonight and what a show! Did not even know that these guys ever played together, what a night that had to have been. Would think that John Lennon's, Imagine would most certainly apply here.

Crusing Pastor Pete's blog tonight, he asked an interesting question.

If you could trade for just one day, who would you like to trade places with?

The list was a virtual whose who and whose is that?.

Beth Moore
Ree, The Pioneer Woman
Tom Hanks
Dave Ramsey
Ronald McDonald
Rush Limbaugh
Tony Hawk
Anderson Cooper
Bono
Billy Graham
Meryl Streep
Olsen twins
Michelle Duggar
Kelly Ripa
Ryan Secrest
Hilary Clinton
Eric Clapton
David Beckham
and Matt Lauer.

That is who Pete chose, Matt Lauer. When you look at the list, it explains alot about we humans and ournature. We could not be a more motley crue of people, and yet we continue to look for not only common but exact ground. There is no one in the world I would trade lives with but for a day, it was an easy pick for me....The Edge..or the hot girl who sang with the Million Dollar Quartet.

thank you...

Found a fabulous new blog this weekend, http://thxthxthx.com/ by Miss Leah. Her mom was big on thank you notes and she has taken it to a whole new level.

As kids, thank you notes were not a part of our childhood training. If you were thankful, you kept it to yourself or in cases of extreme thankfulness, you might make a verbal comment out loud to no one in particular.

Not just because they are related to me, but my grandkids are the most polite children I know. They didn't come that way - their parents fiercely encourage that they thank everyone in their lives for most everything. Now, it comes naturally. I am thanked for everything. From their games, events to an ice cream cone, they say it and mean it. They are perfect...ok, now I am over the top even for me!

Leah makes saying thank you fun and insightful. I am sure we do miss a lot and writing notes in the form of a blog, may spark even more thankfulness which is really gratitude's little brother. So, here I go...

Dear Today,

Thank you for a wonderful day of ordinary Moments that collectively, really were a Big Deal disguised. Sometimes, you just have to step back and look to see what is right in front of you...love zalaine.

fast, faster, fastest...

Steve Jobs says he is selling an iPad every three seconds. He has also announced that iBooks has now taking over 22% of the ebook market in a little more than 2 months. My man Seth Godin is desperately trying to help his Kindle buddies by suggesting that they may have to give away their beloved Kindles to keep any kind of market share. The money to be made in the ebook world is in books not devices.

After having my iPad for a while, I couldn't be any more in love. Apps are my new thing. This week I have picked up rollercoasters, Skee Ball and looking at a few more. Not sure when apps will work on PC's - maybe never. That may mean iPad will be my default device and Mr Jobs didn't have to utter a word. His product spoke for itself, the new frontier.

Found Rock-it today and see birthday presents in my future. I belong to a site called Jasmere. It is basically a group buy site. With 21 hours to go, the Rock-it is selling for 64% less than the web site price and hoping for more. I will wait until hour 19 or so and see how many more people are in and how much more the price has gone done. Pretty cool.

The thing is, life is changing every day. Every day is new and never more than now. When I went from paper scrapbooking to digital, unknowingly I became aware of the instant (and daily) gratification of the marketplace. Every day and several times a day, I have access to digital SB products. EVERYDAY. Paper could never compete with that, never. I can shop at 3AM. I can get a coupon from the internet or know where the sales are on Twitter. That is how I found Orig Audio (Rock-it) and Jasmere.

We will be rock cereal boxes and furniture soon. Anywhere, anything. The cardboard speakers will be awesome. Rain, rain, go away - or stay ... I am good

sun...

It's raining again today.

We are getting use to it. If we get a day where the sun peeks out, we can't even enjoy it because we are fearing that it won't be around for long. Our girl's birthday is this weekend and we can count more rainy, cold and nasty birthdays than sunny ones but there is always sun before and sun after.

For me, weather is a big mood factor. It is very difficult, almost impossible to listen to the Beach Boys when it is grey and rainy. Maybe it is because I came from the land of surf and turf. Maybe if my family had not left Michigan when I was two weeks old, I would have toughened up. When I was a kid, my dad considered a job change to Seattle and while I don't remember all the details, weather played a big part in his not taking the job.

Don't have one on those lights that can change your mood by sitting in front of it. Ran out of chocolate days ago and tomorrow looks like more of the same. Nothing left to do by sing...

Mr Sun, sun
Mr Golden Sun,
please shine down on me.

imperfect love...

Last night the back door was open, the sun had set and the cool was as God made it - noticeably in the room yet not overwhelming. Caught a Carole King/James Taylor concert on PBS. After the first few bars of hearing James Taylor sing, my blood pressure drops 20 points from where ever it was.I stop what I am doing and head towards his voice.

Never thought I would see those two singing together in this lifetime. By his own admission, Taylor said it didn't remember a good deal of it. Whatever happened between them to cause such heartache is the reason that with some time and distance, they could come together, even be very loving toward one another. The music if anything, has gotten better and the two of them together were utter heaven.

Human love is passionate, painful, loving, enabling, overwhelming and so much more. The one thing it is not and never will be is perfect. I don't care how much you love your husband - imperfect. How much you adore your children - imperfect.

If we can embrace the imperfection of human love, it may be the greatest love we can give each other. It may be tough for you to accept, do it for those you love. Imperfect love in a perfect way...

participating...

We called ourselves a couple after we get married for a reason. It is not just about who does the dishes and who takes out the trash. These days the momma is out working her tail off during the day whether by choice or more often, by necessity. The is a certain amount of work that has to be done to keep a family going. Being a couple is not about sharing the same last name, it is about working together. Teamwork, as Miss M would say.

One area that may seem a bit off balance is when participating in what they umight describe as the mundane things of life. Signing cards, or going to weddings, birthday parties and graduations. I truly believe that most men need to be taught what it means to be a couple, in the good and the mundane.

Believe me, mine didn't come trained. It took a while of forcing him...yes, forcing him to understand that is was important to him to be an active participant in our lives. We talked about it last week and he readily admits, he enjoys not only the activities but doing them as a couple. Myabe even more for couples our age, the more we do together the more we avoid going the way of the Gore's. Divorcing after 40 years of marriage. If it was so bad, why not get out years ago? Maybe a bit more couple time could have been a good thing.

If you have a man who already participates, you are well on your way. I have gotten very few cards since I have had a SIL that doesn't have his handwriting on it. I will brag on him a bit more, he has gone to all but a handful of doctor visits, for all his kids. Don't know many other guys who have or would consider it - another reason I heart him so.

Men are not like women. Maybe forcing is too strong but asking for him to parcipate in our lives isn't an extreme request. He may even eventually, come to enjoy it. Want to be a couple, ask him...you can start today, we have a wedding to go to...

focus...

While not officially summer, it is emotionally, already here. Had the Moment a few weeks ago when the sun was shining and the Beach Boys were rocking the van. There has not been a year since 1969 that the Beach Boys haven't started my summer. The older I get, the stronger it gets. Had I have had the funds, I would have picked up Brandi and the kids and headed to the beach...some 1800 miles away.

A week after my BB Moment, I had the opportunity to talk to someone who lived in the same city as I did, except more recently. While I know in my head that I can't go back to the carefree days of 1969, I needed to hear how much it has changed. What I remember is gone, no where to be found - only in my head. What I am missing is just plain gone. I do understand that when I feel this way it is as a 17 year old. That may be part of the Moment, remembering what was and that I can't go back.

I have focused enough time on the summer of 1969 but not sure where to go from here. Like these pics at Gage's ball game this weekend. What am I focusing on and how does it change what I think, or more importantly, what I do? I need to be in charge of the focus, much like when I take a picture. I need to decide where to look and what to look for. The cobwebs of winter are gone and I should be able to think clearly. I am hoping for some clarity to kick in soon...

Gage Day...

Dear Butterflies,

Please stay out of trouble.

Listen to your mom and dad.

Now you know to do what I told you to do.

Cute little butterflies, orange and black,

Small and big,

Today is the day when all of you go home with all of your family.

Love, Gage

Sharing his wisdom with the butterflies is just one of his many talents. I had the pleasure of spending some precious time with my boy yesterday. In spite of Mother Nature, we braved rain and wind to enjoy the carnival at his school. Umbrella in hand, we managed to win one round at the cakewalk and a real live fish. It did take two long waits in line to win the fish and I knew we either won one, or we would be stopping at the pet store on the way home. Some things are just too obvious - you couldn't miss it if you wanted too.

Before the 2 1/2 hour carnival, I had the honor of sitting at his desk for a few minutes while he was still at music. His desk is unusually neat, everything in its place. Books lined up perfectly - I took the opportunity to sharpen his two pencils just in case, there is some last minute work to do. I took a few minutes to pray over his little desk, for him and his school. Like all schools right now, this one is in trouble. Not sure about it's future, time will tell.

There is nothing quite like seeing the world through a 7 year old's mind. Rain is just a small inconvenience, not even big enough to pay any attention too. Even after 2 1/2 hours, he could have gone on for hours. We found a little piece of concrete to share our lunch, then we were off again. Waiting in long lines is a great way to enjoy little snips of conversations. You find out what is important in the short term and it really blows your mind as you struggle to not curse every raindrop coming at you.

I always learn so much from my babies. They have a view of the world that I can only reach through them. I can't imagine any advice I would give butterflies that compare with his - that is why I am the adult and they are the kids. Thanks Gage, I had a ball!!!

healthy shift...

My friend Pete recently let me in on a paradigm shift I found helpful. He was talking about a friend of his who, for some reason, was taking up a bit too much of his mental space. He was beginning to feel responsible for a friends bad decisions. Another friend of Pete’s said that Pete needed to be responsible TO his friend, not FOR his friend.

Pete explained this meant he was responsible to be kind to his friend, understanding, helpful, professional if that’s what the relationships required and so on. But his friend’s decisions and even his emotions were that of his friend not of Pete’s.

So, if you’re feeling guilty about somebody else’s mistakes, their depression, or their being irritated, it might be good to ask yourself if you’ve done anything wrong that has caused that, and if not, the problem really is there problem. You can be responsible to them, to be kind and comforting, but when you become responsible for them, you are going to grow tired of the relationship, because you are going to feel guilty about issues that are not yours, but theirs.Donald Miller

This spoke to me on a few different levels. It reminded me of not only friends but the many, many times I was in this same position with parents and in-laws. Those who should have had years of wisdom beyond mine and didn't have a decent working thought between them. You know it isn't good when your MIL calls and says, You're not going to like this... and goes on to tell you their latest bad choice. I can't tell you how many nights their bad decisions left me unable to sleep. Worrying about how they would pay for things, and quite honestly, how it would affect me. I say this because of our history.

When I was in the hospital having my daughter, my inlaws's stove broke and they moved into my house. When my husband broke the news to me, my reaction was less than admirable.

THEY WILL BE GONE BEFORE I GET HOME, I told DH...again, much acquired history by then - and they were gone before I got home.

I understand my part in all this. Responsible to not for. Is that tough or what? As far as paradigm shifts go, this is a fabulous one to implement. Wish I had known this many years ago, it would have been a life saver but the alas, it has taken...is taking many years to see this as an option and a good one.

Lessons come in shifts. You don't always get the ones you need, in the Moment. Sometimes you have to bank them for a later date. Put them in your mental savings account for later.

things I didn't expect to see...

Much has been made over the last 24 hours about the fact that Apple has managed to sell two million iPads in just 60 days — a pace dramatically ahead of the original iPhone, which took 74 days just to get a million units into the hands of the public. Much less-debated, but potentially more interesting for Apple’s long-term future, is that the iPad has grossed more than $1 billion in revenue by hitting the 2 million mark. At $499 a pop and units as pricey as $829, they’ve cleared that barrier by a flying leap in record time. For context about just what a monumental achievement this is, consider the fact that when FedEx reached $1 billion in gross sales in its tenth year of operation, that was the quickest rise to a billion dollars in revenue without acquisitions in the history of American business. Cult of Mac

Cancer will kill more than 13.2 million people a year by 2030, almost double the number who died from the disease in 2008, the United Nations' cancer research agency said on Tuesday. Reauters

Beer-swilling, doughnut-lover Homer Simpson has been named the greatest character created for television and film in the past 20 years Reuters

Al and Tipper Gore seperating after 40 years of marriage. People

Over the past two months, the Pope has led the Holy See's shift from silence and denial to calls to face the enemies from within the church. What is still missing, however, is any mention of the Holy Father's alleged role in the scandal. Can the Pope, the living embodiment of the ancient Gospel and absolute spiritual leader of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics, publicly atone for his sins and yet preserve the theological impregnability of the papacy? Time

A smoking two year old, the Pope having to explain his behavior and The kissing VP. Strange bedfellows, I imagine. The cure for cancer was in my range of acceptable beliefs. We certainly have poured enough money and effort but maybe, it is like world peace - just not doable this side of heaven.

I had a strange experience last week that changed my mind about all things capabl;e of being done. I was shocked, surprised and entertained. I never could have put the experience into my file of Possible Doings if I lived to be 200. My head was spinning and continued to for a few days. It was just a friendly reminder that this life and me - are not all we can be. In fact, we don't have a clue as to what might be coming next, no matter how much we try to control.

My world gets bigger every day.
I think that is the point.
Now, what's next?