ride...

While mainly I consider myself a convertible-type person, my life journey has contained multiple vehicle types. At different times, different terrian, it is not a straight away path. There are bumps, those pesky speed bumps meant to slow you down. We have to have them because most of us have to be reminded to slow down. Over and over and over again.

Mother's Day is another one of those paths where we may have to change vehicles, often. As our kids grow, we have to keep peddling to keep up. Knowing which way to go is tough if you aren't able to keep up. Sometimes, we need a Hummer. We need to be able to keep up, no matter how much a gallon it is costing us. Sometimes,we can afford to slow down and enjoy the view with the darlins.

Whether you are a mother or have/had one, we all share this universal maternal experience. This is our first experience with a human when we are born, and our life-long journeys are defined by this one experience. Where ever you find yourself today, try to see the Big Picture. Bask in the love of a good mother or be better than was done to you. Get on your bicycle and keep on peddling, knowing you are the best woman you can be...

innocence...

It is hard to un-know things. Guard your innocence. Donald Miller.

How many times as adults, do we protect ourselves? We spend a huge amount of time protecting our kids, gradnkids, friends and just about anyone else you comes across our path. We act like we are invincible, like we don't need innocence protection because, we have already, seen it all.

The older I get, the less sure I am about that.

Wikipedia describes innocence as, a term used to indicate a lack of guilt, with respect to any kind of crime, sin, or wrongdoing.

Learning is a good thing. We should be students, every day of our lives. But what do we need to learn and what do we not need to learn? Are we learning the wrong things? Every bit of knowledge we take in, isn't the truth. Where and how do we protect ourselves? Can I still be innocent at my age and what does that look like.

Makes me hope I haven't seen it all.
Makes me understand that un-knowing gets harder, the older you get.
Makes me understand, learning isn't just about taking it all in...

underarmour...

At any given Moment, we are on the verge of a new discovery. New to us but not to the world. Many have already discovered it, we are just late to the party.

How did we miss it?
Where has this been all my life?
Why did no one tell me?

It can be anything, from soup to nuts. A few weeks ago, my girl mentioned that these particular corn chips were the best, just like Chapala. Since I love Chapala's chips, I took her up on her offer to sample them. I have not looked back and Juanita's Chips are now a staple in my pantry. They are light, crisp and salty. The perfect chip. When picking up a few more bags last weekend, I shared this new found knowledge with the cashier at Walmsrt. She said she has heard that before but had not tried them yet.. Hope she tries them soon, she is most certainly, missing out.

Gage is having this same experience with UA. It is a line of clothing that has an appeal with outdoorsy people. DH has used it for years in the winter. Climbing around on railroad cars during the winter is nightmare and even more so in the middle of the night. Those days are now gone but the UA is still looks great and is going strong.

Gage doesn't ask for much so when he asked repeatedly this weekend to go on an Under Armour shopping trip, his mom obliged. We hit Sports Authority Sunday afternoon and hit the mother lode of UA items. He now has a collection of shirts, shorts, socks and sandals. He let it be known if we find UA underwear and a hat, he was vertainly open to having those too. Just like the chips, you can't have too much of this new and marvelous thing.

His birthday is toward the end of August. It will be interesting to see if he wants a winter warerobe of UA. Will not buy ahead, I learned my lesson for good. It is hard to tell but the one thing that is for certain, there will be many, many photos this summer of Gage in his favorite. It will always be known as the Summer of UA and Juanita's Chips. That is just the way it is...

there's an app for that...

What if God had his own App store where everything was free? What apps would be on your iBrain device?

Here's is a few of mine.

Is the Garage Door closed? This might be up in front. This would change my life if I didn't feel the need to go around the block and make sure the garage door was closed. It would save much time. A lot of time.

Why am I Considering Making This Choice that I Know isn't a Good One? You have mulled it over in your mind. You know it is not the right thing to do, yet...you are not ready to let go. You are fully aware of the consequences but are still trying to find a way to justify it.

12 cookies won't kill me. This app might help you understand, the incorrectness in that thought process.

I have a million more. How great would it be to just cruise around for the app you need, at any given Moment? At the hospital and need some assistance, there is an app for that. The thing is, maybe we already have everything we need to to make the tough decisions, accept the heartbreak and know what step to take next. There will always be a Way that looks greener but if you already have what you need, maybe greener isn't the way to go. There is an app, I could get into...

living the gray...

The truth is, most of life is lived in the gray. While we each have our black and white issues and they range in degree,and swing wildly from person to pserson. Shaped by family history and personal experience, we all still have huge blocks of life that have no absolute answers. We have to continue to shift, squirm and fake it until we make it.

With no manual to help led the way, we take the information we do have,and mix it with a healthy dose of what we think. The power to be fluid is an absolute essential. There is a Time to be precise, a time to be black and white. That may look different to each of us and even shift within our own lives but that is only about 25% of our lives. The rest is in that gray area, where we do the best we can because we are not afraid to think outside the box, to be out of our own, comfort zones. It is scary and crazy and at any given time, you can't be positive if you are right or wrong but that is part of the journey. Living the gray in the Real World, takes courage and commitment. I have seen many of you do it and I take heart, that I am able to follow suit...

a long, long time ago...

I have thought about this photo all week. Took me a while to find it but there it was, in the Hummer folder in 2006. Gage was three and had an unnatural Love for Hummers. So one day, I packed him up and headed to the Hummer dealer. I took this while I looked for a salesman. I needed someone that would understand that while there would be no sale from us that day, this was an awesome opportunity to throw a little car love our way.

After explaining that a Real Love for Hummers had brought us here, what we were asking was to let a little boy, climb around the car of his dreams and that, he got to do. He was told to pick out any one he wanted. How do you pick from 20 Hummers? Finally, the yellow one won him over and he crawled over every inch of that motor vehicle. He wasn't rushed and when he had enough of the new car smell, we were off for ice cream.

That was 6 years ago. When I asked him the other day what he was listening to on his Nano, he told me what his latest fav was. Every time I see K, G or Miss M, I always ask about what is going on in their heads. Music, apps, sports, fingernail polish. We still take these field trips. Keaton is all about the City. He loves the feel of urban life. Gage is my football guy. We had an in depth convo about the NFL Draft this week. I researched it before our talk and he was quite impressed that he didn't have to explain very much to me. As for Miss M, she is into much of what the brothers, as she calls them, are. She loves their music and can keep up with them, step by step. She knows the song lyrics as well as they do but still likes her girl things.

When I look back at this photo, it reminds me of what is important. To honor the little things, to make time for what seems would be impossible. It also reminds me, that listening may be one of the most important things we can do for each other. Sorry dude, they don't make Hummers any more but wait until I introduce you to a Porsche 911. We would look so cool in that on your 21st birthday! I can hardly wait...

following rules...

Some of us are better at it than others. Whether it is Somewhere you excel or not, the truth is - we all need rules.

We, the human race, you and me, all of us. We need some kind of guide, we have proven over and over and over again,left to our own devices, it is not a pretty picture.

Even with rules, because of where we each believe the spectrum of the authority of rules lie, we still have big problems. As a society, there are many reasons that even with rules, we fail. Why are these common sense lessons, not capable of being applied to each of us? From big to little, from minor to major with a bit of common sense throwm in for good measure.

If it isn't yours, don't take it.
Stop before the light is red.
Park between the lines in a parking lot.

Even this duck has better sense than some humans. Do the best you can with what you have. Make a good choice, at least more often than not...

david and Goliath...

From Max Lucado, Facing Your Giants...

Skinny, scrawy david
Bulky, brutish Goliath.

The toothpick verses the tornado.
The minibike attacking the eighteen-wheeler.
The toy poodle taking on the rottweiller.

Your Giant doesn't carry a sword or a shield, he brandishes blades of unemployment, abandonment, sexual abouse or depression.
Your Giant doesn't parade up and down the hills of Elah, he prances thorough your office, your bedroom, your classroom. He brings bills, you can't pay, grades, you can't make, people, you can't please, whiskey(insert favorite vice here), you can't resist....a past, you can't shake and a future, you can't face.

Where is your focus? That is where your battle is. Is it time to change the focus to what you have, to what you believe? To be grateful for what you are and to know you are so much better than cowering in the corner, waiting for the Giant to take you out? Time to fight back - will it change the outcome? Maybe not, but it will change your journey...

What,

...if anything, did I learn today?

My favorite morning show, Morning Joe, always ends with the question, What, if anything, did we learn today?

With a bit of modification, it is a great question. I don't buy the notion that there may be a day, when nothing is learned. I don't care if you don't leave your bed, there is Something to be learned, every single day. If nothing else, to understand that the power to learn is ours, if we choose, all the time. Every moment, every hour, every day. No exceptions.

That being said and gotten off my chest, the things I am capable of learning and the things that are available to be learned are an nevernending lists of knowns and unknowns, taking turns at being in our thinking universes. Sometimes, there are common senses issues that we have forgotten or never learned properly enough to be anchored in our brains. Not talking about those, Oh darn, I did it again moments,it is about those, I never thought about it like that moments that give us cause for change.

Heard a doctor this morning, promoting his new book illness and he said if you take an 81 mg asprin a day for at three year, you lessen your chance of cancer by 36%. Just $2 a year seems a pretty small price to pay for any benefit, no less such a seemingly large one. I have been taking my daily baby orange tablet for about that long. Way before this doctor's recommendation, I had heard too much about this benefit, not to add it to my daily routine but nice to know, it was a good move.

Some things you learn, in progress. As this boy grows, I have to remember to ask permission to take his photo when we are out. I just saw him listening to him iPod while grocery shopping with his mom and me and had the shot in my head.
Furiously trying to get the camera out of my purse, the moment for spontaneity passed and the photo I had in my head became, staged. And...I forgot to ask Keaton's permission. He got a little red in the face but we were good. He is so close to being 13 and I must complete my journey of his boyhood and replace it with a new one. His manhood. Hugging, taking picture - need to learn that when we are out in public, the Do Ask policy is always, always in force.

I do ask myself this question everyday and even on the days that the answer hurts, I am still aware that learning stands alone. It is not about the outcome but what choices you make to go there. The chance to be better, do better and grow. Can hardly wait to see what is coming my way today...

eyes, wide open...

Dinner at Piehole. Bacon and pototo pizza, and a big slice of Real Life.

Before a reading by one of my favorite authors, David Sederis - my friend and I wandered the street of Boise, looking for a bite to eat. After passing a few, we both kept coming back to Piehole. Her son had said he loved it, we had passed it during Saturday Market, so it was settled.

We sat outside with our meal and it didn't take long for the entertainment to start. We heard them before we sawthem. A bachelorlette party, in full voice and swing. This ladies were sitting next to us but know that those a few blocks away, heard what we heard. Their excitement was contagious, these chicks obviously loved, to party.

It was obviously prom night. A constant slew of prom goers, one with their own photographer, roamed up and down the street. Beautiful gowns and lovely men wear kept our interest as we munched away, It was also soon apparent that their was another kind of prom going on. Or at the very least, a dress up event. There was a group, dressed to the nines in short, sassy dresses. Beautiful hair, looking their very best, who were also men. Not judging here, but is not a sight I am use to seeing. My camera started to jump put of purse. The ultimate in street photography, yet the fear of being beat up was greater. On the way to the theater, we saw 3 men dressed as an indian, a hippie and a police men and yes, they went into a bar. Camera, camera - where are you! Culture 2012 was in full swing and we took in every bit of it.

Soon, we had to head for our venue. A reading about limo drivers and colonoscopys, finished off our nights. Laughing at the everyday Moments that we all share. To hear about your family, make ours look just as crazy as we thought, now we can say it out loud.

Thank you, Boise for a wonderful night! It was a ball...

RIP 467-3823 and Simplot

.

It is now official, retirement day for DH is June 29, 2012. Paperwork is done, money will be coming in Down The Road. The second Wednesday of the month will be our new favorite day. Seems unreal that it is here.

We are giving up the home phone and going all the way with the cells. It is time. Will be offline for a few days until we get new setup, up and running. Changes are coming faster and we are dodging and weaving, learning to love the new as we did the old.

Thought about keeping the old phone number but with the election coming up, we were pretty sure that giving it up was the best thing for our mental health. No more 10PM calls with fake voices, wanting something from us. The idea of living in the semi- anonymous world of cell phones is starting to make prefect sense.

It is just a phone, why the sad face? Why...it is the how I found out my girl was getting married, the same one that informed me, I was going to be a nana. It also brought the news that my father, mother and father in law were close to death. I imagine that I will never forget you, old friend. Thanks for the memories...

Change, here you come! We are as ready as we will ever be...now, where is my phone?

connection...

Each of us is a traveling show. What we do, where we go and how we do it. The people that cross our path on a daily basis, whether we know them or not, are our people. Sometimes there is a connection and sometimes, there is not. Yesterday, found ourselves in a connection that did not feel right. What do I do with that?

Have you ever just met someone and felt, instantly connected? For an introvert like me, this has happened way too often. In several cases, I never saw that person again. The connection was for that time and that place, alone. Have learned to accept that and even flourish in the concept. What about someone who wants to be your friend and you don't feel the same way? There is no reason to be flippant or rude. We all have different personal boundries and we learn to work within them, adjust where we need to.

The point is to just be aware of the people that surround your path. There may be there for a short time or forever. I tell myself, it is not always about you . It is not about me trying to be like Jesus, it is about being empty and available, as needed. It is about being aware, being alive to one's own journey and fluid enough to stop on the path and just be with those whom He loved. It may be a quick hello, long hello. It may be about listening to someone for a few Moments, being heard by one who needs an ear. It may mess up your day, your week or your life, so be it...so be it...

manly men...

Not until my husband told me, did I understand anything about men. Many years ago, he explained how difficult it is to ask a girl out. First, a man has to talk himself into it and then, is at the mercy of said, woman. Let's be honest, women are not always kind.

Depending on which side of the beauty scale, he and she are at and the confidence of his ability to be given a chance, there are obviously many variables here but looking back over my experience and one guy in particular, I wished I had been more prepared and not tripping over myself, trying to run away and pretend it never happened.

Later, I would date someone who was far prettier than me. My friends would say, they would take him, anytime. It was not pretty but it is part of my history and hopefully, I learned from it.

Back to DH, what a wonderful 40 years he has spent with me. He actually deserves a trophy and a huge gift certificate of which will not be forthcoming but it is the thought that counts.

I hope this kid gets the girl. He looked so happy...

I hope his goofy grin, wins her over.
I hope he is smiling in 40 years.
I hope they live Happily Ever After.

cause and effect...

Friday night was the Kony 2012, Cover The Night event. Every country, every city that participated - plastered walls, telephone poles and whatever else was legal or not. The Boise FB page showed that 3000 were shwoing up to the event and another 500, were maybes. The reality was 300, showed up.

Whether the fall of Jason Russell or the law enforcement's instructions that a piece of plastic was the only place to put posters, had an influence - we will never know. We hit downtown early but with the opening day of the Farmers Market, it was tough to see anything. Got some cool pics of the sidewalk art that had been done but that was about it.

Later in the day, we cruised around our little town and that there was some Kony action here. Had not even considered that there might be Something so close but looks like that would be an error on my part.

I have lived long enough to believe that you don't have to have a super, big number to succeed. One little poster can change the world, is a view I firmly believe in. From the day of the first video, I have prayed for Joseph Kony, every day. It is a specific prayer. Have imagined him in the jungle, or a safe house. Know that God knows exactly where he is. Part of the paryer is for his safety, that he be giving a chance to be arrested alive and not killed upon his whereabouts, being known. He is a wanted man and my prayer is that he is safe with God, before men find him.

Dude, you are on the run. There is nowhere to hide. Social media has changed the way a man is hunted and you best get your affairs in order, before you are found. Your face is everywhere. Every country, is looking for you. Where can you hide? How long can you run? Time for a come to Jesus meeting...now, before it is too late.

rolling in the deep...

This is Pastor Doug. Don't be fooled by his nice, old man looks - he is a firecracker. I am glad my kids go to a church where the pastor has a firm grip and a loose tongue. Over the years, we have heard many, many PD Stories. On Palm Sunday, he told about being arrested and serving time for selling drugs to Filipino drug lords. One of the regular worship leaders is Doug's friend, played with the Steve Miller band. He knows people that he looks like, he wouldn't know.

After many sermons, you get a feel for people. He has a wicked sense of humor. He is honest, maybe too much so. I can see where you might take him wrong. He is upfront about what he will eat if you have him over for dinner. The suit and tie thing isn't really him but it was Easter and he is from that generation were when Easter is on the calendar, you take it up a notch.

In my short Jesus career, I have heard my share of preachers. I also, have favorites. Like music, some were one-hit wonders and others like PD, has earn my over and over again, interest. Not one to sugar-coat what it is, the Jesus he shares is the one, I know and love. Next time I see PD, he will be back in his jeans, and we will both be a whole more comfortable, the way it should be...

day 79...

July 7, 2012 is quickly approaching and it is time to start all the paperwork.

Last week we started on his company pension. It didn't take long to find out that a copy of my birth certificate would also be needed. I didn't have one. Thought I wouldn't need one until I retired. Misconception #1. I knew I was born in Lansing, Michigan and that my parents and grandparents left for sunny California, two weeks later. That would have meant traveling across the country in how many vehicles, with a two week old baby, the first week of December. They never talked about that trip but it must have been a doozy. Wish I had the sense to as. Everyone is gone now, no one to ask...

Which would have been helpful lst Friday when the phone rang at 803AM and it was a nice lady in Eaton County telling me, I wasn't born in Lansing and oh by the way, she was swiping my Visa card for $35.I sat in shock for a while but had Places to go and People to meet, so I pulled my my Big Girl Panties and moved on. Misconception#2.

Contacted the state of Michigan and they said if I was born anywhere in Michigan, Vital Chek would find me. As they swipped my Visa for $65, I started to have doubts about the whole thing. While Those People who raised me were certifibly insane, my grandparents weren't and I had heard my birth Story from them, many times. Now, it is just a matter of waiting.

Today, UPS said they are delivering mail that needs a signature from Vital Records. They usually come around 4PM, it is going to be a long day. It may or may not contain a birth certificate. The mystery may or may not, be solved. I am ready, no matter what. Not sure how to proceed if there is no certificate but feeling good that Miss Google will help. So until then, I will hold on to the retirement paperwork and wait. On a side note, last night we did the SS retirement online and that went much better. Patty Duke said it was quick and easy. Patty Duke wouldn't lie, that is just Somewhere I can't go today...

PS. Looks like I was born in Detroit. Life is good when you know you were born in Motown...

life is better with googles...

We don't have to see everything in crystal clear vision. Sometimes, in the middle of all things, normal - someone says, I need my googles!... and everyone agrees that is a fabulous idea and runs to grab their own.

Enough of life has to be seen in the dead of clarity. The news is in our faces, everyday. Bad news travels at least ten times as fast as good news. Somedays, we never get to the good news, too bad.

Think I will grab a pair of these for me. I could wear them while mowing the lawn, give the neighbors something to talk about but if they ask, I will tell them. Soon, the whole neighborhood will be wearing them. We will trend on Twitter and change the world.

Maybe I should start slow. Wait till they see me jump rope with the new jump rope I bought today. Not sure what I was thinking but will go slow, first with no goggles but look out - everything could change in an instant...

contentment...

If I really think about, how often am I content?


contentment (usually uncountable; plural contentments)
1.the state or degree of being contented  
2.happiness in one's situation; satisfaction
3.the neurophysiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation, body, and/or mind.

I disagree with the first part of point 2, agree with the satisfaction. Happiness doesn't have anything to do with being content. Being satisfied doesn't go hand in hand with being happy. Being content is a choice, being happy is spontaneous.
One must learn how to be content, happiness just comes naturally. No learning curve needed for being happy.

You really never know where your next happy is coming from. It could be a song on the radio, an unexpected piece of mail,or an unsolicted comment. It could be a sunrise or sunset, or a chocolate chip cookie. Whatever it looks like, the smile that starts to come across one's face and heart, is unstoppable. The warm, fuzzies take you on a ride, you didn't see coming. There is euphoric in happy. There is none of that in being content. Learning to be content is an art form. To be happy, all you have to do is be human.

So back to the question, how often am I content? More often than I give myself credit for. The winds of life blow me around. I may bend and it may appear I am ready to snap but I pray my root system is strong enough to allow the fluidness of life to take me down to the ground and wait to spring back up. That is Something we all have to learn and to be content with that is just the way it is...

there is always, one...

one who will,

want to break away from the herd,
not follow instructions,
find fault,
is a one-man show,
take the low road,
lie, cheat and steal,
can't get along with others,
marches to the beat of their own drum,
will do the unthinkable,
good and bad.
there is always one, who will hide their face.

You will never get 100% participation,
in any event.
If you do,
someone is lying.
It is my personal theory that at any given time,
20% of people will do things, you never imagined.
Sometimes, they smile,
other times, they will hide their face.

It is just the way we are,
it is the way we roll,
that one, always shows up. Always.

seven...

seven...if you have to go to school, at least you have your Birthday Lunch fairy bring you the goods. Happy Birthday Miss M! love you to infinity and beyond...

buy 1, get 2 free...

Pay attention.
Whether in church or Real Life.
Don't send money to anyone, even if they say they are your grandkids and don't want their parents to know.

Pay attention.
if something says buy 1, get 2 free. There is Something, really wrong.
It is true, that the best things in life are free,
everything else, you need to pay attention.

The brain God gave you, works pretty good.
Circumstances of life, sometimes derail our use of that brain.
It is not the brain's fault, it is ours.
If you use the wrong body parts to think with,
that is what happens.

When you want Something so bad, and decide to pull the trigger,
you used your heart instead of your brain.
Buy 1 and get 2 free is not targeted to your brain,
it makes no sense.

Your life may no always make sense,
but do your part.
That is the best you can do,
and learn to live, with the rest...

It's mine, back off...

We all know the feeling. Not our best feature. Emotion is part of this built in protection.It has such a caveman quality to it. Whether things, people, ideas, property, it all feels the same. The panic, the sorrow the mere idea of loss - is seen as unfathomable.

Some times we are able to think through and come up with a compromise or an all out, give away. We push past through the primitive need to hold on, and see the bigger need to share as valid and doable. There are times when we decide to pull up our Big Girl Panties and do the right thing... and then, change our mind. WE WANT IT BACK! And, we want it now.

Being mine will always be a journey, never a destination. It will always be a struggle, it will always feel wrong and we will always fall back into our human ways. When we get journey and destination mixed up, we do ourselves a disservice. Do yourself a favor and learn to tell the difference and plan accordingly...

to know...

To know you are loved is the greatest feeling in the world. It doesn't have to be a big deal, take a lot of effert or cost an arm and a leg. It simply boils down to paying attention to someone. Spending time playing together, listening to someone or doing an unforeseen, random act of kindness. It is way easier to do it to someone who makes you swoon, whose hugs and kisses mean the world. When done to a complete stranger, it looks different but the feeling is the same.

The feeling that goes straight to your heart. It is completely involuntary and you just can't help but smile. It is the connection that we all crave and for that Moment, we feel alive. We feel alive and well. All is right with the world. The only right thing to do is go out and do it for someone else. Go spread some love and see if it doesn't feel, Oh So Good!...

seven...

The weekend was a whirlwind. Starting on Friday, we have had seven main events going on. Easter weekend, the start of soccer and an early celebration of one wonderful little seven year old. Every time we turned around, there was a Pile of Something to pick up for the next event and scurry out the door. We left nothing, undone.

My computer runneth over with photos, there wasn't much time to do anything to them but go through them, organize and cut the ones from the herd, who aren't going to make it. As I was sorting them, I was conscious of the emotion that came with each group. Gage's hair during soccer season. Grandma Sue with her rabbit ears, standing next to her grown son. The happy look on my grand girl's face when she opens her new American Doll. The silent ones, like Jesus on the cross at No Greater Love. Gigi, our shared grandmother who hates to have her picture taken, not noticing my camera. The boys laughing, the guy in church who sat intent as he heard the Easter message at church, and this one with Gage sharing Draw Something on the iPad with Aunt Bebe.

There usually is a designated picture taker for every family. If you don't have one, be one. Someone who always shows up with some kind of camera. Don't worry about getting anyone to look at you, just start shooting. You will be amazed at what you get and the memories you are making, are beyond priceless.

I heard yesterday that the guy who won the Masters Golf thing has never had a golf lesson. Never. This one was shot with a P&S camera. You can do this, start now...

easter...

It is early in the morning, sleep is in short supply.

Soon, there will a church service. Then a family dinner and Easter baskets. This year, we will also be celebrating a birthday. Much going on, like every Easter. The boys and I spent last night at a local Easter pageant, No Greater Love. We know the Story yet Gage had many, many detailed questions. He was trying to put together what he knew with what he was seeing. He wanted a timeline From Palm Sunday to Easter. He wanted to know about BC and AD. His favorite part was not the soldiers dragging Jesus away, like I would have imagined or the thunder and lightning as the son of God was dying on the cross. His favorite part was when Jesus, so brillantly played by Dave Mangum, arose to heaven.

NGL celebrates it 33rd year of production. Dave Mangum has been these for every one of them. I didn't read the program until I got home but this year, is his last. I am so glad we went this year, it will never be the same without him. It is always feels weird when you see him about town, like at the grocery store. Once I saw him get out of his car, a Grand Am. We owned the same kind of car and I remember smiling to myself, thinking I own the same car as Jesus!

33 years. I think it is no coincidence that Dave chose to retire. The time had come. Thank you Dave for all your years of being Jesus in human form to us. Jesus, thank you for being in human form, for us...

walking each other home...

We're all just walking each other home. Anne Lamott.

While the age old Story of Easter never changes year to year, our lives do. Some Easter are more memorable for reasons ranging from incredibly wonderful to extremely terrible. Whatever is going in our lives, reflects at each holiday and that is the way we remember them. Like it or not, that is just Real Life.

The first many years of Easter, were all about the bunny, No church, no dinners, just the bunny. When that is all you have, it is a Big Deal. Later on, I would understand what I imagined church people did on Easter and was pleasantly surprised that the Easter Bunny was still included. You can imagine my onw personal surprise when the year we started the church, I was the Easter Bunny. That elation would quickly turn as I realized how many little kids were deathly afraid of my beloved Easter Bunny.

Have had the opportunity to do quite a bit of reflection this week. Of those who are in my life,and of those things that are touching my every day. The boys and I are going to No Great Love Saturday night. An local Easter pageant where the man who plays Jesus has done so for some 30 years. He works out year around for the Moment on the cross. We know the story, yet to see it played out, we walk away with Something New every year because we are in a different place every year.

Whereever you find yourself this Easter, I hope that a piece of wonderfulness comes your way. That your heart is full and happy. Happy Easter...

shadow...

What is shadowing you these days?
What is following you around, wherever you go?
What are you trying to shake, but can't?

When I saw this photo, it reminded me that there is always Something, behind us. Need proof, here it is. People follows us for different reasons and different lengths of time, depending on the the relationship. Now that we have Facebook and Twitter, following someone takes on a whole new meaning.

Why do we follow someone?
Why does someone follow us?

You don't always get to decide who follows you. In extreme cases, it is outright dangerous. Wish our never-changing shadow could give some guidance. Whether our past, people, thoughts or situations are on our tail, we maybe can't change them but we can change ourselves. Remember, we are the leader. The one, out in front. We are deciding where to go and how to get there, all they can do is follow. We keep going, no matter what. Let the shadows do what they may. This is about us, they are mere shadows...

shoot...

In basketball, we all know that we don't score everytime we shoot. We hope to score but don't think it is a given. We continue to shoot, no matter what the scoreboard says. Over and over for four quarters, everytime we get a chance we take the shot and we just keep going. We take the shots and let the scoring take care, of itself.

Real Life should be played exactly the same way. We should shoot over and over and over again, and let the scoring take care of itself yet we don't. We freeze. Scared to miss, scared not to score, we play it safe. we hold back, thinking if we don't make it, it is over. We could go days without taking a shot and it could seem, perfectly normal.

We need to play Life like basketball. We need to shoot, no matter what. We need to steal the ball, take the shot and get ready to do it all over again. How different would your life look? Mine would be insanely, crazy good...

domestic violence...

Palm Sunday. This week, those who hailed Jesus with palm branches at the beginning of the week, will call for his death in a few days. Everything will change, even though no fault will be proved. This week we hear again the Story, that makes little sense, yet will change the course of world events and in the end, will have an outcome that no one could have predicted. The last Supper, the betrayal of Jesus by Judas, Pilate admitting he finds no fault. Those who waved palm branches a few days earlier are now calling for his crucifiction, his death. Good Friday to Easter Sunday, the Story will be told for over 2000 years yet many, will turn away. This morning, three asked for Jesus to come into their lives, for the first time. When we think of domestic violence today, a different picture comes to mind. A proper definition would seem to include the turning against those we purpose to love, and take it upon ourselves to beat them, sometimes to death. It would seem that history repeats itself, again and again. This is the week, we look at ourselves and say why and then we remember Jesus's words - Not if but When...

red flag...

We all have red flag Moments in our lives. Sometimes, they come in an instant. It feels wrong, the hair on the back of your neck may stand up. You get an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. None of it is voluntary, it is all foreign. You think you hear, Danger, Danger, when everything appears to be fine. Sometimes, it takes a series of red flags to get your attention. Thinking of something going on in my life where I just thought, this is just a fluke. The first time, the second time, the third time but when it keeps happening, you begin to wonder. We each have red flags going on in every area of our lives. They are a warning, they should be looked at with the head, not the heart. If they require action, you can't involve your heart. It is not good for anyone. Went to Best Buy this afternoon to have another look at the heat issue with the iPad. I didn't think that they were magically healed but by directed by my heart, need to take another look. There were four on display, one iPad 2 and 3 new ipads. The ipad 2 was perfect. The three new ipads, not so much. All were warm, one was downright hot. There was a woman shopping with her teen girls, trying to decide whether to buy today. She listened intently to the discussion between the BB salesboy and me. He tried desperately to downplay the heat issue, I was unrelenting. If she was going to spend that much money, she needed as much information as she could get. She asked if there was a recall if BB would stand behind the iPad. He told her she would have to deal with Apple. I didn't bring up the fact that BB is in serious trouble. Closing 50 stores and heading down the Circuit City, Comp USA route. I thought I was being generous not bringing that up, DH thought I was going to be asked to leave. Don't know if she bought one or not. My heart was still saying, Go ahead, it will be fine. My head said, Now you know, wait. The red flags can be ignored. I have done it many times in many different ways but I must bypass them, knowingly. No way around it, if you go around a red flag, you know what you are doing. I know I have done the right thing but sure wished it felt like it...

finish strong...

In the middle of another sleepover but what a great way to spend the week.

Mostly constant rain has been our companion but inbetween storms and puddles, we have managed to get in some good times. No one was hurt while playing basketball, thank God and we have some great video of what we imagined Poppa couldn't do. Would have bet some sweet dough on that, he surprised us all.

New grass, the coming of Easter. The signs are all there. Another chance to try again, to do better. To love more and complain less. To learn that being grateful is for everyday, just not the good ones. DD and DGS talk about what their church says, Finish Strong. If we believe that God is who He says he is, there is no other way. None. Finish Strong, I love it.

regret...

We spend our entire lives worrying about the future, making plans for the future and trying to predict the future...and the truth is, the future is always changing. Grey's Anatomy.

Started saving money last September for Ipad 3. Everytime I came home, quarters and singles where put in their perspective piggy banks. DH played along and with a little help from my Costoc rebate check in February, we were there.

Side note about savings. I have never, ever been a saver of money. Truly lived in the Moment and that included ridding myself of any and all extra cash. Since I have been a homebody, I have learned not only how to make adjustments in savings but also in how things are done. I can cook better meals at home that I can eat out, 90% of the time. To be able to save was a big surprise and one that still makes me giddy.

So, when I ordered the new iPad in the middle of March, I was flying high. Then the doom started, bad wifi reception, smart covers don't fit and the biggie, heat issues. Last week, I read about 20 pages of heat issue complaints on the Apple web site. Sunday, went to the Apple Store to touch for myself. Every iPad on display, ran hot. From warm to hot, the 8 or 10 ipads, spoke for themselves. Came home and read 30 more pages of complaints and then, realized the inevitable. My iPad that was suppose to arrive on April 6, would not be. Not until the issue is fixed.

Sometimes, we want something so bad, we are willing to do anything to get it. I so get that, and the cost is high which we know because the need to have is so strong. The stronger the need is to acquire, the more you know, it is probably not for you. I have heard people say, I will do anything to get.... Those are fighting words and you will, every step of the way.

I love my iPad.
I am so ready for my new iPad
I have saved for a long time for my iPad.
Yet, I was able to walk away, for now.

Regret. Not so much now. Cancellation is done, spoke to the Apple rep and she had not heard of the heat issue. I told her, I would be back. No regret here. That is the best feeling of all...

color...

There are times when nothing but color will do. No black and white, just the brazeness that only color can occupy. Color leaves me confused, feeling chaotic and way out of my comfort zone.

The boldness, the sudden twists and turns. The same things that draw us toward color. Those who have to be surrounded by color, to who waving a brush throughout their home, is second nature.

It took a while for me to bring any color at home. Color is restricted to the living room/dining room/kitchen which are basically one room. Two little hallways share the color. Bathrooms, bedrooms, laundry room and bonus room so not. Never will. Just the way I roll.

Was intrigued a few years ago with the idea of painting closets with bold colors. Something that would reach out and grab you, every time you oped the door. Imagine a pantry in lime green or a bright orange. That could still happen, love the idea of surprise.

While most of my photography I prefer in black and white, there are some that I know right off the bat, will have to stay in color character. This is where they shine, where they were meant to be. They are the ones that usually make the covers of my yearly coffee table books. A bit of surprise and confusing never killed anyone...I think.

two faces have I...

Poor Walmart. You don't have to go far to see or hear Walmart bashing. Whether the website with photos you can't find anywhere else or yes we are using Pink Slime but since we have been outted, we are no longer using it - Walmart has a lot to be embarrassed about. And that, is just the stuff we know about, and we all know, there is a bunch nore, we don't know.

But then, you see this and you say to yourself, is this the same place? Walmart gives back to every community they are in and at any given time, are embroiled in lawsuits dealing with unfair employee practices. So, which is it?
Devil or angel. Do we love them or hate them?

Humans are no different than Walmart. We each have good and bad going on in our lives and may too, be outted, at an moment and start changing our tune. I am as guilty as you and make no mistake, you are guilty too. The thing is if we embrace both sides, don't we have a better chance of making better choices? Do we have to get caught to do better? With all my heart, I hope not...

the voices...

At given time, I have at least 5 voices talking to me, all from within inside. There are the general 2 that represent good and bad. There is the 1 that directs the sweettooth. There is 1 who keeps a running commentary of current events, There is the 1 that is the historian for the group. The music critic is the generally happy one, never put that one in charge! The new 1, the creative 1, finds much power when the creative juices are flowing, even giving Sweettooth a run for her money.I love listening to the one I call the prayer. Soothing words being spoken, all there for the listening. Some days, I spend hours there.

I call town hall meetings, regularly but someone is always in the bathroom or at the snack table. If you don't announce there will be snacks, no one would ever come. Then, there are those who are present but not really. Daydreamer and List maker have a hard time concentrating in the Moment and prefer to read the minutes by email, the following week.

I am proud of the work we do. It doesn't always get done in a timely manner or without alot of discourse, but it gets done. And Sometimes, though rare, we all have an outing like yesterday, where we enjoy the music, fresh air and each other...

That is so 17 seconds ago...

I first noticed the light. A combination of the light and her hair was all I could see. The next I was thinking is that laptop is so 17 seconds ago.

Admittingly, I am a tech gunkie and spend much time, reading about the Now. Apple does nothing by accident, hence the reason that the new iPad, wasn't given the names rumored and speculated on. No iPad 3 or iPad HD. Apple wants to be like Kleenex. No matter what brand of tissue you use, most of us call it Kleenex. Apple wants you to think of tablets, in the same way. No matter what tablet you are using, they want us to think iPad.

I have had a tablet since Day 1. Loved iPad 1. Got iPad 2 and fell in love all over again. The third genteration iPad is on its way, I have been saving my money since last fall. While I believe in Never Saying Never, with that being said, I will not buy another laptop. Tablets have virtually destroyed the netbook world and moving on the laptop world.

There were a couple others at Flying M, The guy dressed like he came from the 1890, hat and all. The kid carrying around the 100# backpack. Students, adults and high school kids. What will my favorite coffee shop look like in 5 years? I imagine much different that today. Personally, I can hardly wait...

constant...

There are days when all is right with the world. We feel good about where we are. We feel good about life. Our bellies are full, we are not too cold or too warm. The world is just coming up roses, from every angle.

Then there are the days that our very existence feels so fragile that it could crumble, at any Moment. When putting one foot in front of the other, seems like trying to make a mountain out of a molehill.

We all go back and forth, alternating with a few non-plussed days inbetween. There is never a constant in our lives, constant would be like standing still and life just doesn't work that way. Some things, we see coming. Others, blindside us. It is just not doable to live in either camp.

What we do have control over is our faith, whatever that looks like in your life. The belief that whaever happens, we will survive. To understand and accept that we can't have all the answers now. To know that the tears won't flow forever, knowing that at some point, they will subside. That we can live with a broken heart, even when it feels like we can not.

The constant isn't the life, it is the faith. That is where we need to focus, to rely on, and learn how precious it really is...

social...

Sometimes, we are connected to people by events. Sometime, by Season of life. Some are short term relationships, like a bond made during a hospital visit. And sometimes, it is by the marriage of their kids. These is the case with these two.

In the Real World, these two would never be friends. There is not one drop of common ground except their children and grandchildren. Their commonality is they would do anything for those 5 people.

Anything. Even to help rebuilding a fence at said 5 people's house.

Anything.

Love is a wonderful thing. This kind of love is awesome to watch...

smart...

You are 100 miles from smart...George Clooney/The Descendants.

At any given time, if you asked my definition of what smart looks like, there would be a common theme. It grows and changes but a similiar thread would be present.

My experience has taught me that a degree is no assurance of being smart. What it does show is the fortitude of sustaining a course of learning for an certain period of time. There is validity in that alone. Proving to yourself that you have the gift of sticktoitness. You most certainly pick up facts along the way that may help make better choices, but again, no guarantee.

Can being smart be taught? It depends on what your criteria is. To me, smart is about not only knowing right from wrong but acting on it. Sheldon, for the Big Bang Theory, would try to sway you about his smartness but rattling off what he knows. To me, the smart one is secure enough - not to. Smart is about putting others first, using their smartness for good instead of evil. Keaton had a band teacher last year that insisted the kids call him, Dr XXXXXXX. He would not acknowledge him if they didn't. Not so smart in my book.

I wish I was smarter. Not in book knowledge but in people learning. While our culture bows down to the academia world, I think we are missing the boat. I know many, many smart people who don't have a high school diploma. I know those with degrees that have no more common sens, than a rock.

Go ahead and think you are pretty smart but be carefully how you come to that decision. It may be the smartest thing you can do...

conspiracy...

Jason Russell, of the Kony 2012 fame found himself and his organization in dark trouble last week. After having the single most viral video in the history of the internet, he may have brought down the whole commission, in one afternoon.

Friday, it was annouced that he had some sort of mental breakdown in the middle of a street in San Diego. Naked, vandalising cars and accused of sexual issues. He is now on a mental hold and will be evaluated.

The CEO of Invisible Children gave a rambling statement about malnourishment, exhaustion and dehydration to explain away Mr Russell's behavior. I think that was the wrong way to handle it and did more harm.

My usually,doubting Thomas husband came up with another theory. One I hadn't even considered, then or now. If there is no mental health history of this man, he thinks someone might have poisoned him. That there was a traitor close to him, someone who slipped something in his food or drink, trying to bring down the whole organization, in one swoop.

He might have Something there. As fast as we are all flying these days, the opposite of that is how far we can fall at the speed of light. Does it change the mission of Kony 2012? No. Does it hurt the mission of Kony 2012? Indeed, it does.

Never have been much of a conspiracy theorist. Love making up Stories but as DH always tells me, You are giving them too much credit, they aren't that smart.


Whatever is the truth, Kony 2012 will take care of itself and I wish Mr Russell, the very best. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, is always a good path to go...

chemical evolution...

The Challenges of Chemical Evolution/Dr Tim.

1. Making simple organic molecules
2. Homochiratly
3. Polymerization


I was with him until he started explaining in detail, each item. This is Week 2 of Organic Chemistry with Dr Tim and my head is starting to explode. I have pages and pages of notes, some I can read, most I can not. He warned us and has stayed true, there has been no bible talk for the llast 2 weeks. It has been a simplier form of one of his classes, with not an ounce of touchy - feely.

While I have missed much, again, what I can get, is enough. After an hour of amino acids, polmers, DNA and coding, I need to find Something I can relate too. He never disappoints.

In the end, this is what I walk away with. Science lives and is confined by philosopy. With philosopy, no proof is need. Ignoring the obvious, allows one to live in their head and spread that knowledge, however they see it.

Information has 4 parts to it.
1. Sender
2. Medium
3. Message
$. Receiver.

Most of the scientific community do not believe in the sender. Without the sender, there is no medium, message or receiver. It may be as easy as who came first, the chicken or the egg? The question is not who came first, but who made the chicken and the egg.

That is always the question. Not how man evolved from apes but who made the apes. You can't make something out of nothing and if it all started with nothing, now where do you go?

Good thing we have a 2 week break coming, dreamt about DNA chains the other night. Oh My...

dark...

I think most of us are scared of the dark. Pitch black, can't see your hand in front of your face, dark.

When you don't have to move about, the dark is much easier to navigate through. Sometimes, I just give in, Try to be in the dark Moment, see what I can see and imagine the rest. When the train goes through our part of town in the middle of the night, you can hear the whistle as the soars into the dark. I love listening to them and the darker, the better. It takes practice to even start to become comfortable in the dark, pretty sure it will never come easy, come naturally.

If you add just a bit of light with the dark, you have a whole new place to dwell. It only takes a bit of light to help you see and if the light keep falling one in front of another, it can take you all the way to Where you are going. Dark in no place you want to live but it is a Place that we must go through, it is just part of the Process...

downhill...

Dear KTVB, You guys are a class act, always have been but your newest ad is not up to your usual, better than standard, standards.

There is a lingering clip of the announcement of Steve Appleton's death. I can't help but read it and know that as it lingers in my mind, what it is doing to his family.

You are a good friend of the family. You need to put that relationship, first - ahead of ratings. You can get your message across without that kind of detail. Various clips of news, sell just as well. In this case, the detail - no matter who or what, is not needed and shows a lack of respect for your friendship.

Time to reverse this downhill trend.
Do the right thing.
Think before you print.

We all have downhill Moments. Moments when we do the wrong thing, for the wrong reason. It is our humanity flying its less than honerable, flag. Sometimes, we just have to stop and reverse course. Today is their day, is it yours too?...

Lights. Camera. Action...

While the grown men in the family are building fences at the old homestead, they rest of us - hit retail.

Boys who continue to grow and have holes in otherwise, perfectly good jeans - had to reckoned with this weekend. It seemed like August School shopping all oer again. As they tried on this and that pant, needing an every ending parade of sizes and color, that would rival any girl's shopping trip, we girls had to make our own fun.

And, this always includes getting the camera out, no matter where we are. Hours earlier, the three of them tried to get me down, tickle me. The boys did a great job of pinning me down and I was laughing too hard to actually get away. They told Miss M torun and get my camera and take my photo. There seemed to be some photo motive involved. Whether they were going to post it online or what the revenge was going to be was never fully discussed but it was clear, they thought - camera revenge is ours.

Then, there are times like this where playing to the camera seems to be a good thing. There are over 10 shots like this one in various poses, that she thought were memory-worthy. Will make a page and make that happen for her, the least I can do for Miss Cooperative.

They know I am camera ready at all times.
They know that 90% of the time, I shoot whatever they are doing.
They know I love them.

Sometimes, love and photos go together. Like today...

bragging...

While she was Oh So Cute, at her first basketball game, she didn't have a clue to what she was doing. Oh So Cute...

Didn't know which direction she was going or had a good handle on the game. The girl that played in this photo looks nothing like that girl. The girl we all saw today played defense like I have never seen a girl play. Watched you scream down that court, allowing nothing and yet, you made 8 points and set up a few more.

I thought it was just me, a proud nana but when you coach told your parents that he has coached for three years and has never, seen anyone like you. He was blown away and thinks you have much basketball potential. WOW.

How do any of us go from zero to hero? For some, it comes easy. For some, we have to work for it. In sports, there are few who are humble. The ones who think they are potential NBA stars, act accordingly. When you see someone who just play the sport, just because - that smile that covers their face is contagious. Later on, she said, " I just couldn't help from smiling".

That's my girl and I am so proud. You Go Girl!

on the run...

If this week has taught me anything, it is we are running hard and faster, every day. Every day.

It use to be we tried to keep up with the Jones's. They are the very least of our problem, these days. Most of us have built in keeper upper withs, that put the Jones's, to shame. If you have been on the internet, turned on a TV or radio or just little or no attention, the 2012 Koby movement has most certainly, crossed your path. It started trending immediately after it launch and went viral in a very short time. Heard that yesterday there were over a million people an hour, watching the 29 minutes video. Try to keep up that!

So, if we have left the Jones's way behind in the dust, we have inserted ourselves as the Team to beat. That means we can redesign how that looks at any given time. We are now at the mercy of ourselves, and while that may bring up some red flags, the truth is - we have the power to change how that looks. This is a good thing. If I choose to race, it is against myself. If I choose to change, I know the source, pretty well.

Have a 2012 Koby icon on my desktop. I have never been more proud of young people this week, they know social media and aren't afraid to use it. They will blanket the planet and Joseph Koby will have no place to hide. The Jones's have nothing on them, mostly caring about manicured lawns and granite countertops. We have much to learn and I for one, can't wait...

cool...

You who know me, have met me or seen me know - I am anything but cool. My art and nanahood, have been graciously called cool and while I am honored, thinking that it is more of a geezer-cool than the cool of Today.

When I think of cool, I think the young, hip, Apple-Loving crowd. I think of the Arab Spring people all over the world, who have been busy changing the world.

Joseph Kony. Ever heard of him? Me either, until today. A 24 minutes movie brought a whole new coolness, into my awareness. In a nutshell, Joseph Kony has been waging a war for the last 26 years where his soldiers he has kidnapped and trained. Girls are kidnapped and used for prostitution. Uganda has been his playground and he has been runnig wild. That is no longer the case. The cool kids, the ones who know how to use social media have forced him to go into deep hiding. They are on his case. The cool kids now that if a bad guy is known, if his face and name are plastered on every wall, post and is no longer, invisible - there is no place to hide. Their effort is hard to take in, tears come to your eyes when you realize how our lives are changing, that the evil dictators of the world, have been taken out in so many countries.

Josepk Kony, you have been outted. The cool kids are after you and I am cheering them on. Cool by association, and so proud, I could just bust...

adult children...

I was so naive when my girl was a toddler. Thinking that, if I could just get thru the next couple years... there would be the reward of, making it.
Toddlers have nothing on adult children but you couldn't ever have convinced me of, that all those years ago.

The worries of toddlers, the crashing into the coffee table or escaping out the front door disappear. Those crazy fears pale in comparision to losing jobs and heart-breaking life events. While it takes many years to see this clearly, when you do - it helps put your thinking into a more, understandable state.

Those toddlers eventually go to teens and that is a whole, other world in itself. Those years where death doesn't seem possible until a group of friends are killed on a late Saturday night. That feeling of invincibility goes from improbable to possible as one moves into adulthood but for the parent, there are just more things to worry about. Add in grandchildren and you push the ante up, even more.

I am so proud of my girl. She has grown up to spend her time, raising her family. She has no problem telling the kids, doesn't matter than bobby's parent's let him watch R-rated movies, you won't be. All those things that take constant attention, the watering, feeding, running around. I thought I had it hard with one, with three, she knows what to ask and where to look.

Still, there is a part of her, that will always be my little girl. I want none or very few bumps along the way. No more worries about coffee tables or escaping. The worries are different but have the same intensity. If I could protect her, my fabulous SIL or my darling 3 - I would do it in a heartbeat but I can't. I can lift them up to the One who holds them tight, and I do. When I remember to whom they belong, I am a better mother. I have been allowed to be a part of these wonderful peoples lives, never take it for granted. The worry just comes with the job, seems like a small price to pay for such a great privilege...

in the now...

Loving these photos that are technically, less than perfect but their captures of everyday life, can't be denied.

Do I live my life, like Gage? Focused, waiting, no hurry or do I live it like Mr Flash, going 100 miles an hour with my hair on fire.

Truth be told, we all go back and forth from each camp but may find ourselves more like Mr Flash. Life never allows us to take it slow, that task is solely up to us. WE are the Captains of our ships and we decide and steer Our Boat.

The times that I identify with Mr Flash, seem totally out of control. There does not seem to be any level of control, yet in fact there is. We can always, always, choose to breathe. Stop, take a few seconds and breathe. There is no one that is not able to do this. Might take some time to exercise and create that muscle but it can be done.

Even in basketball, there is time to stop and think. Of course there are times that nothing but a slam dunk or basket at the buzzer, will do but for the many Moments inbetween, there is time to breathe and give our hair a rest...

treat...

Sometimes, you just need a treat. A reward for a task, new learned behavior or just because. Just because is the reason, we as a society are in some of the trouble we are in.

A treat is just that. A one time, little celebration of us. We make enough bad and selfish decisions that when we go beyond ourselves, that is Something definitely worth elevating to the tune of Something Special. The thing is, we have gotten too good at treating ourselves and it is costing us, big.

It starts with a little, you deserve it. Those are fighting words. As a culture, we have gotten a bit lost. What we deserve is to take better physical care of ourselves, or manage our finances so we can sleep at night - not a reward of 6 donuts or getting a Birthday car that comes with a payment book.

We deserve better.
We deserve to be honest with ourselves.
We all deserve a treat, a healthy treat. One that won't do us in...

sit...

Sit, take a load off.

It is the prefrontal of your brain that has to reconcile the artiste of your right hemisphere with the logician of your left, the tough guy of your hypothalamus with the drama queen of your anterior cingulae cortex.


Stay with me, it gets better.

All that seems like more than enough but then come the dorm rats and party animals of your midbrain, the place where your most decadent appetites - drinking, gambling, eating, smoking, shopping, sloth, sex, come to get fed.



Told you.

The battle between your noble lobes and ignoble ones isn't even close. Eating, having sex and sleeping are vital for the survival of the species, so evolution arranged for them to be irresistbly pleasureable.

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

Acquisitiveness is important too, so shopping and gambling carry kicks of their own. As for smoking, drinking and taking drugs, they have no survival value but they don't need to, since they sidestep evolution and pick the chemical locks of the brain's pleausre centers directly.

Sidestep. That explains quite a bit.

This article from Time magazine, Getting to No, The science of building willpower goes on to explain much about willpower and how the brain works.
We are complicated creatures and there is So Much about us that has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with survival.

The bad news is that there is no pill, to fix this. We need to create new habits that take the place of old ones instead of just trying to go, cold turkey. I have seen cold turkey in action work, just once. Almost 40 years ago, DH stopped smoking in a weekend. He just stopped. He is also the one who can eat two cookies and stop. Would love to study his brain, because for most of us, it is not that simple. Most of us, sidestep. If it is true that we can learn to build willpower, as I look around at our world, now would be a great time to start...